Moving On - 02/18
Title: Moving On
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, references to past Ianto/Lisa
Rating: R
Disclaimer: If I was the one who owned Torchwood, you think I'd admit it now?
Spoilers: Some information and events from s1,2. None for s3.
Summary: Lisa is gone, and Ianto is starting to move on with his life, but it isn't always as easy as it sounds.
Author's Note: Sequel to Guilt and Turning Point.
Thanks to: My sister angelzbabe1989 for stepping in as beta, morbid_sparks for all of her support and idea bouncing through the writing of this, and pinkfairy727 for cheerleading even when she doesn't know what happens.
For previous chapters see Master list for this fic
Chapter Two
Jack dropped his head back against the wall, not even attempting to get up and follow Ianto. He knew chasing after him wouldn’t be welcomed - and it wouldn’t help anything anyway.
He did wish he knew what was going on in Ianto’s mind. He thought he had come to know him so well, but the workings of Ianto’s mind were so often completely impenetrable. Even to Ianto, Jack sometimes suspected.
Even aside from Ianto’s thoughts, Jack wished he knew what was happening in his own head. There were conflicting urges and instincts everywhere, and he didn’t know what he should do, what he should want to do.
There was a room marked ‘Ianto’ in his brain, and the moment he stepped inside it, nothing made sense anymore. He’d been suppressing so many of his feelings towards the younger man for so long, and then, last week, Ianto had kissed him, and they’d no longer accepted being ignored.
That Ianto was so clearly conflicted about it didn’t seem to change that at all. It just made Jack more confused himself.
It wasn’t that he couldn’t see why Ianto might be battling himself - barely a couple of months ago they’d had to say goodbye to Lisa. Ianto was doing so much better lately, but it was still relatively recent, and Jack wasn’t immune to the guilty feelings this could generate.
He was torn between his desire to protect and comfort Ianto and his plain old desire for just Ianto.
He sighed and slumped a little bit further down the wall. The only thing he could really do was wait and see how Ianto felt about this when he’d had time to think. Whatever Jack wanted, it had to be subsumed by what Ianto was ready for.
Gwen appeared in the living room doorway a few minutes later, her hand gripping the frame tightly, as if she was using it to keep her upright. Considering the number of bottles of wine and beer that had been consumed that evening, Jack thought it was actually a reasonable possibility.
“Have you seen Ianto?” she asked, squinting down at him.
Jack pushed himself more upright and ran a hand through his hair. “He’s gone,” he said plainly.
“Gone where?”
Jack looked up at her more closely. Perhaps she was tipsier than he’d thought; she was usually at least slightly more perceptive than this.
“Home, probably,” he replied. “I don’t know; he didn’t say. He just left.”
Gwen nodded slowly. “Oh.” She stood there in silence for a few moments before disappearing back into the living room.
Tosh took her place less than a minute later. She lowered herself to the floor, leaning against the wall opposite Jack. “Is Ianto okay?” she asked, the concern ringing clear in her voice. She sounded significantly more sober than Gwen had, which didn’t surprise Jack in the slightest. In the years he’d known her, he’d never seen Tosh have more than a couple of drinks; never enough for her to lose her poise.
“I don’t know,” Jack sighed, realising as he said it that it was true. He’d been shaken when he fled, but was he actually okay?
“Was he ill?” Tosh pressed gently. “Or…?”
Jack shook his head. “Not ill. Just…” He paused, considering his words. How much did he want to reveal to Toshiko? He couldn’t tell her about the kiss - either of the kisses - not without knowing how Ianto would feel about the revelation, but…
“He was…” Not upset, that wasn’t the right word, and he didn’t want to alarm Tosh unduly. But how could he explain why Ianto had gone home, left in a hurry like that? And how to reason why he hadn’t gone with him?
“The party was bringing up a few uncomfortable memories,” he eventually ventured. “He wanted some time alone to come to terms with it.”
He hoped the careful editing he’d done of the truth wasn’t evident on his face.
Toshiko’s forehead furrowed, and it was clear she wasn’t sure if she should take his words at face value or not.
“And you just let him go off on his own?” she asked a little uncertainly.
“I didn’t ‘let’ him do anything,” Jack protested. “He left, and I didn’t think he’d appreciate me chasing him down like a wayward toddler.”
Tosh looked back at him suspiciously; Jack knew she had probably deduced that there was more to the story than he was telling her, but thankfully she didn’t question him further.
“I might give him a call a bit later,” she said, glancing down at her watch for a moment. “Make sure he got home okay, see how he’s feeling about everything.”
Jack nodded, glad that Tosh had made the offer; despite the fact that he knew Ianto was more than capable of looking after himself, he couldn’t help but worry about him. Tosh would be there for Ianto if he needed someone and couldn’t - understandably, after the last week - talk to him.
Jack almost wished he could talk to Tosh about the confusion in his mind, but he swore to himself he wouldn’t say anything - not unless Ianto did first.
He and Toshiko sat against their respective walls in silence for a few minutes before Jack started to push himself to his feet. “We should…” He jerked a thumb towards the living room door, reaching down to offer Tosh a hand up when she nodded her agreement.
With the guest of honour gone - and highly unlikely to return that evening - what was left of the party began to wrap up shortly after Tosh and Jack re-entered the room.
Jack stood at the window and watched Tosh help Owen pour himself into a taxi barely more than half an hour later, as he shrugged his own coat into place on his shoulders. Rhys - who he was sure he recognised, but couldn’t quite place - saw him to the door, Gwen being a little bit too unsteady on her feet to do so.
Jack didn’t expect that either Gwen or Owen would be making it into work particularly early the next day.
The following morning he was proved right, with Toshiko the only one he saw come in before 9.30am. Ianto had, apparently, also arrived at some point before then, if the coffee that had appeared on his desk while he checked something in the armoury was anything to go by. Jack just hadn’t seen him enter the Hub.
When 10 o’clock came and went and he still hadn’t caught sight of him, he wandered over to Tosh’s desk and pretended to watch the code that was scrolling across her monitor screen.
“He’s in the archives,” Tosh said a minute later, not even looking up from her work. “And no, he didn’t tell me what was going on, but he did say that things between you two are a bit strained, which anyone could have worked out from your behaviour this last week.”
Jack swallowed and nodded. ‘Strained’ was definitely one way of describing it. But he didn’t know what he could do to fix it other than wait until Ianto felt ready to talk to him again. No matter how much part of him might want to, he wasn’t going to go track Ianto down in the archives and bother him there.
“Thanks,” he told Toshiko absently, backtracking to his desk and picking up the supply requisition form he’d been putting off all morning, making a start on it finally.
Owen and Gwen turned up within minutes of each other, just before lunchtime - both looking a little worse for the wear. Jack got his first sight of Ianto of the day a few minutes later when he appeared with a full jug of coffee and two mugs, taking them off his tray and placing them on the table in front of the ratty sofa where Owen and Gwen were slumped.
Even without getting up from behind his desk, Jack could see Gwen and Owen’s faces brighten at the arrival of coffee.
He dared to hope a little when Ianto came into his office with the last two mugs, having deposited one on Toshiko’s desk, but he simply put one of them down on his desk and nodded silently before turning around and leaving again.
“I’ve ordered pizza for lunch,” he announced softly when he reached the middle of the office area. “I hope that’s okay with everyone. It should be here shortly.”
Jack angled his head to watch him as far as he could as Ianto dropped the tray in the kitchen area and headed out of the cog door to - Jack presumed - wait for the pizza in the tourist office.
The next several days fell into a similar routine. Ianto and Jack spoke only about professional matters, or lunch. Ianto spent most of his time in the archives - which wasn’t unusual, of course, but Jack still felt the lack of his presence sorely.
He didn’t even have the distraction of Rift alerts to keep his mind off worrying about Ianto’s state of mind - as always, Sod’s Law dictated that the Rift should take a little break whenever he was most looking for some activity.
It didn’t help that whenever Ianto did appear - either to distribute coffee or consult with Tosh over some piece of tech he’d brought up from the archives - he had a faintly haunted look. Jack also suspected he hadn’t been sleeping as well as he might have been, and could only blame himself.
If only he hadn’t… When he actually thought about it, he wasn’t sure what he should really have done, but there had to be a better course of action than the one he’d taken.
There was a crash from the main area of the Hub, drawing Jack out of his musings. Jumping up from his seat, he ran out and leant over the railings between the desks and the rest of the Hub.
“Everyone okay?” he called, not able to spot immediately where the crash had come from.
“We’re fine!” he heard Tosh yell back.
“Bottom just fell out of a box of hopefully harmless artefacts from the archives!” Ianto added.
“As long as neither of you were hurt!” Jack called, frowning as he walked slowly back to his desk. ‘Hopefully harmless’ wasn’t exactly making him comfortable. He only hoped Ianto was right.
Chapter Three
As always, comments and concrit are loved!
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, references to past Ianto/Lisa
Rating: R
Disclaimer: If I was the one who owned Torchwood, you think I'd admit it now?
Spoilers: Some information and events from s1,2. None for s3.
Summary: Lisa is gone, and Ianto is starting to move on with his life, but it isn't always as easy as it sounds.
Author's Note: Sequel to Guilt and Turning Point.
Thanks to: My sister angelzbabe1989 for stepping in as beta, morbid_sparks for all of her support and idea bouncing through the writing of this, and pinkfairy727 for cheerleading even when she doesn't know what happens.
For previous chapters see Master list for this fic
Chapter Two
Jack dropped his head back against the wall, not even attempting to get up and follow Ianto. He knew chasing after him wouldn’t be welcomed - and it wouldn’t help anything anyway.
He did wish he knew what was going on in Ianto’s mind. He thought he had come to know him so well, but the workings of Ianto’s mind were so often completely impenetrable. Even to Ianto, Jack sometimes suspected.
Even aside from Ianto’s thoughts, Jack wished he knew what was happening in his own head. There were conflicting urges and instincts everywhere, and he didn’t know what he should do, what he should want to do.
There was a room marked ‘Ianto’ in his brain, and the moment he stepped inside it, nothing made sense anymore. He’d been suppressing so many of his feelings towards the younger man for so long, and then, last week, Ianto had kissed him, and they’d no longer accepted being ignored.
That Ianto was so clearly conflicted about it didn’t seem to change that at all. It just made Jack more confused himself.
It wasn’t that he couldn’t see why Ianto might be battling himself - barely a couple of months ago they’d had to say goodbye to Lisa. Ianto was doing so much better lately, but it was still relatively recent, and Jack wasn’t immune to the guilty feelings this could generate.
He was torn between his desire to protect and comfort Ianto and his plain old desire for just Ianto.
He sighed and slumped a little bit further down the wall. The only thing he could really do was wait and see how Ianto felt about this when he’d had time to think. Whatever Jack wanted, it had to be subsumed by what Ianto was ready for.
Gwen appeared in the living room doorway a few minutes later, her hand gripping the frame tightly, as if she was using it to keep her upright. Considering the number of bottles of wine and beer that had been consumed that evening, Jack thought it was actually a reasonable possibility.
“Have you seen Ianto?” she asked, squinting down at him.
Jack pushed himself more upright and ran a hand through his hair. “He’s gone,” he said plainly.
“Gone where?”
Jack looked up at her more closely. Perhaps she was tipsier than he’d thought; she was usually at least slightly more perceptive than this.
“Home, probably,” he replied. “I don’t know; he didn’t say. He just left.”
Gwen nodded slowly. “Oh.” She stood there in silence for a few moments before disappearing back into the living room.
Tosh took her place less than a minute later. She lowered herself to the floor, leaning against the wall opposite Jack. “Is Ianto okay?” she asked, the concern ringing clear in her voice. She sounded significantly more sober than Gwen had, which didn’t surprise Jack in the slightest. In the years he’d known her, he’d never seen Tosh have more than a couple of drinks; never enough for her to lose her poise.
“I don’t know,” Jack sighed, realising as he said it that it was true. He’d been shaken when he fled, but was he actually okay?
“Was he ill?” Tosh pressed gently. “Or…?”
Jack shook his head. “Not ill. Just…” He paused, considering his words. How much did he want to reveal to Toshiko? He couldn’t tell her about the kiss - either of the kisses - not without knowing how Ianto would feel about the revelation, but…
“He was…” Not upset, that wasn’t the right word, and he didn’t want to alarm Tosh unduly. But how could he explain why Ianto had gone home, left in a hurry like that? And how to reason why he hadn’t gone with him?
“The party was bringing up a few uncomfortable memories,” he eventually ventured. “He wanted some time alone to come to terms with it.”
He hoped the careful editing he’d done of the truth wasn’t evident on his face.
Toshiko’s forehead furrowed, and it was clear she wasn’t sure if she should take his words at face value or not.
“And you just let him go off on his own?” she asked a little uncertainly.
“I didn’t ‘let’ him do anything,” Jack protested. “He left, and I didn’t think he’d appreciate me chasing him down like a wayward toddler.”
Tosh looked back at him suspiciously; Jack knew she had probably deduced that there was more to the story than he was telling her, but thankfully she didn’t question him further.
“I might give him a call a bit later,” she said, glancing down at her watch for a moment. “Make sure he got home okay, see how he’s feeling about everything.”
Jack nodded, glad that Tosh had made the offer; despite the fact that he knew Ianto was more than capable of looking after himself, he couldn’t help but worry about him. Tosh would be there for Ianto if he needed someone and couldn’t - understandably, after the last week - talk to him.
Jack almost wished he could talk to Tosh about the confusion in his mind, but he swore to himself he wouldn’t say anything - not unless Ianto did first.
He and Toshiko sat against their respective walls in silence for a few minutes before Jack started to push himself to his feet. “We should…” He jerked a thumb towards the living room door, reaching down to offer Tosh a hand up when she nodded her agreement.
With the guest of honour gone - and highly unlikely to return that evening - what was left of the party began to wrap up shortly after Tosh and Jack re-entered the room.
Jack stood at the window and watched Tosh help Owen pour himself into a taxi barely more than half an hour later, as he shrugged his own coat into place on his shoulders. Rhys - who he was sure he recognised, but couldn’t quite place - saw him to the door, Gwen being a little bit too unsteady on her feet to do so.
Jack didn’t expect that either Gwen or Owen would be making it into work particularly early the next day.
The following morning he was proved right, with Toshiko the only one he saw come in before 9.30am. Ianto had, apparently, also arrived at some point before then, if the coffee that had appeared on his desk while he checked something in the armoury was anything to go by. Jack just hadn’t seen him enter the Hub.
When 10 o’clock came and went and he still hadn’t caught sight of him, he wandered over to Tosh’s desk and pretended to watch the code that was scrolling across her monitor screen.
“He’s in the archives,” Tosh said a minute later, not even looking up from her work. “And no, he didn’t tell me what was going on, but he did say that things between you two are a bit strained, which anyone could have worked out from your behaviour this last week.”
Jack swallowed and nodded. ‘Strained’ was definitely one way of describing it. But he didn’t know what he could do to fix it other than wait until Ianto felt ready to talk to him again. No matter how much part of him might want to, he wasn’t going to go track Ianto down in the archives and bother him there.
“Thanks,” he told Toshiko absently, backtracking to his desk and picking up the supply requisition form he’d been putting off all morning, making a start on it finally.
Owen and Gwen turned up within minutes of each other, just before lunchtime - both looking a little worse for the wear. Jack got his first sight of Ianto of the day a few minutes later when he appeared with a full jug of coffee and two mugs, taking them off his tray and placing them on the table in front of the ratty sofa where Owen and Gwen were slumped.
Even without getting up from behind his desk, Jack could see Gwen and Owen’s faces brighten at the arrival of coffee.
He dared to hope a little when Ianto came into his office with the last two mugs, having deposited one on Toshiko’s desk, but he simply put one of them down on his desk and nodded silently before turning around and leaving again.
“I’ve ordered pizza for lunch,” he announced softly when he reached the middle of the office area. “I hope that’s okay with everyone. It should be here shortly.”
Jack angled his head to watch him as far as he could as Ianto dropped the tray in the kitchen area and headed out of the cog door to - Jack presumed - wait for the pizza in the tourist office.
The next several days fell into a similar routine. Ianto and Jack spoke only about professional matters, or lunch. Ianto spent most of his time in the archives - which wasn’t unusual, of course, but Jack still felt the lack of his presence sorely.
He didn’t even have the distraction of Rift alerts to keep his mind off worrying about Ianto’s state of mind - as always, Sod’s Law dictated that the Rift should take a little break whenever he was most looking for some activity.
It didn’t help that whenever Ianto did appear - either to distribute coffee or consult with Tosh over some piece of tech he’d brought up from the archives - he had a faintly haunted look. Jack also suspected he hadn’t been sleeping as well as he might have been, and could only blame himself.
If only he hadn’t… When he actually thought about it, he wasn’t sure what he should really have done, but there had to be a better course of action than the one he’d taken.
There was a crash from the main area of the Hub, drawing Jack out of his musings. Jumping up from his seat, he ran out and leant over the railings between the desks and the rest of the Hub.
“Everyone okay?” he called, not able to spot immediately where the crash had come from.
“We’re fine!” he heard Tosh yell back.
“Bottom just fell out of a box of hopefully harmless artefacts from the archives!” Ianto added.
“As long as neither of you were hurt!” Jack called, frowning as he walked slowly back to his desk. ‘Hopefully harmless’ wasn’t exactly making him comfortable. He only hoped Ianto was right.
Chapter Three
As always, comments and concrit are loved!