Guilt - 19/70ish
Title: Guilt
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Ianto/Lisa
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Torchwood is not mine. No matter how much I sometimes wish it was.
Spoilers: Better say everything through s2, just to be sure. Begins pre-S1.
Summary: Ianto is taking things hard - can Jack do anything to help?
Thanks to: My beta cazmalfoy for all her wonderful work, and my cheerleaders angelzbabe1989 and piper08 for putting up with me when I whine about being stuck.
Any and all comments and concrit welcomed! (Even just one word... please???)
Fic starts here
All previous chapters
Chapter Nineteen
Jack found Ianto slumped on the Hub sofa a few hours later, the stress positively oozing from his stiffly set shoulders and downcast eyes.
He and Owen had spent the better part of the late afternoon and early evening with Lisa, and Jack assumed they had been giving her a version of the results the team had discussed in the conference room earlier. Even if it had gone well, it was never going to be an easy conversation to have, and Jack could see it had taken its toll on Ianto.
The rest of the team had gone home over an hour ago, while Jack had been busy with the always-dreaded and oft-procrastinated pile of paperwork that invariably covered his desk. He had, at the time, assumed that Ianto had departed with them.
He had clearly been mistaken.
He wondered briefly just how long Ianto had been sitting alone on the sofa like this. While he usually avoided the paperwork, when he actually got started on it he could become quite absorbed, so it was a real possibility that Ianto could have appeared at any time in the last hour.
He took a tentative step closer, but the action seemed to go unnoticed by Ianto. Another step, and another, until he was standing right next to the battered sofa.
“Ianto?” No response.
Jack wasn’t entirely sure what the best course of action was. Ianto was obviously in distress and, knowing that he couldn’t just remove the cause of his upset, he wasn’t sure what he could do to help.
He could do the big dashing hero bit, the rushing in to save the day. If you had an alien invasion crisis, he was the man to call. But those were problems he could actually fix.
Comforting and helping someone when their problems weren’t so easily solvable wasn’t his speciality. Other people’s emotional suffering always made him feel helpless, when he knew there was little he could practically do to make them feel better.
As he slowly lowered himself to sit next to Ianto, he recognised that neither one of his normal methods of helping a distressed friend were going to work. He’d been doing the first, using work as a distraction, for days, and while it seemed to help during the day, Ianto didn’t currently look like he was in any fit state to be trying to work.
And the second, well, the second method definitely had its appeal in his own mind, but despite his reputation, he knew that offering physical comfort was completely inappropriate in the situation.
“Ianto?” he tried again, reaching out a hand in the younger man’s direction. “Are you okay?”
As soon as the words left his mouth he realised how idiotic they sounded. It was patently obvious that Ianto was far from okay; that the stresses of caring for Lisa had temporarily overwhelmed the younger man.
Ianto looked up, finally noticing Jack’s presence, and Jack could see him trying to hide his emotions behind that calm façade again.
“Sorry, Sir. I’m fine. Just needed a moment.”
Jack shook his head softly. “Ianto, you are not fine, but…” He waved off Ianto before he could protest. “No one could expect you to be, going through what you’re going through. It’s OK if sometimes you’re not ‘fine’.” He paused as something else occurred to him. “And you’re not working right now, Ianto, please call me Jack.”
“Sorry, Sir. I mean… Jack.” Ianto’s voice was still tight and restrained and none of the tension had left his shoulders.
“You know,” Jack began awkwardly, “if you need someone to, I don’t know, talk to, or … scream at, or… or whatever, I’m here. Whatever you need. And I think Toshiko would be too. You don’t have to cope with this alone.”
Ianto nodded tensely and stood up. He looked back down at Jack, a tinge of gratitude appearing in his eyes. “Thank you. I mean it. I promise I’ll keep it in mind, but right now… right now I think I should just go home.”
Jack stood to join him, taking a small step back so as not to crowd him. “Okay,” he nodded, trying to smile comfortingly. “Good night, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He sighed sadly as he watched Ianto’s back disappear through the cog doorway.
He wasn’t sure what he was doing, but he wasn’t going to let Ianto suffer through this on his own.
Chapter Twenty
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Ianto/Lisa
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Torchwood is not mine. No matter how much I sometimes wish it was.
Spoilers: Better say everything through s2, just to be sure. Begins pre-S1.
Summary: Ianto is taking things hard - can Jack do anything to help?
Thanks to: My beta cazmalfoy for all her wonderful work, and my cheerleaders angelzbabe1989 and piper08 for putting up with me when I whine about being stuck.
Any and all comments and concrit welcomed! (Even just one word... please???)
Fic starts here
All previous chapters
Chapter Nineteen
Jack found Ianto slumped on the Hub sofa a few hours later, the stress positively oozing from his stiffly set shoulders and downcast eyes.
He and Owen had spent the better part of the late afternoon and early evening with Lisa, and Jack assumed they had been giving her a version of the results the team had discussed in the conference room earlier. Even if it had gone well, it was never going to be an easy conversation to have, and Jack could see it had taken its toll on Ianto.
The rest of the team had gone home over an hour ago, while Jack had been busy with the always-dreaded and oft-procrastinated pile of paperwork that invariably covered his desk. He had, at the time, assumed that Ianto had departed with them.
He had clearly been mistaken.
He wondered briefly just how long Ianto had been sitting alone on the sofa like this. While he usually avoided the paperwork, when he actually got started on it he could become quite absorbed, so it was a real possibility that Ianto could have appeared at any time in the last hour.
He took a tentative step closer, but the action seemed to go unnoticed by Ianto. Another step, and another, until he was standing right next to the battered sofa.
“Ianto?” No response.
Jack wasn’t entirely sure what the best course of action was. Ianto was obviously in distress and, knowing that he couldn’t just remove the cause of his upset, he wasn’t sure what he could do to help.
He could do the big dashing hero bit, the rushing in to save the day. If you had an alien invasion crisis, he was the man to call. But those were problems he could actually fix.
Comforting and helping someone when their problems weren’t so easily solvable wasn’t his speciality. Other people’s emotional suffering always made him feel helpless, when he knew there was little he could practically do to make them feel better.
As he slowly lowered himself to sit next to Ianto, he recognised that neither one of his normal methods of helping a distressed friend were going to work. He’d been doing the first, using work as a distraction, for days, and while it seemed to help during the day, Ianto didn’t currently look like he was in any fit state to be trying to work.
And the second, well, the second method definitely had its appeal in his own mind, but despite his reputation, he knew that offering physical comfort was completely inappropriate in the situation.
“Ianto?” he tried again, reaching out a hand in the younger man’s direction. “Are you okay?”
As soon as the words left his mouth he realised how idiotic they sounded. It was patently obvious that Ianto was far from okay; that the stresses of caring for Lisa had temporarily overwhelmed the younger man.
Ianto looked up, finally noticing Jack’s presence, and Jack could see him trying to hide his emotions behind that calm façade again.
“Sorry, Sir. I’m fine. Just needed a moment.”
Jack shook his head softly. “Ianto, you are not fine, but…” He waved off Ianto before he could protest. “No one could expect you to be, going through what you’re going through. It’s OK if sometimes you’re not ‘fine’.” He paused as something else occurred to him. “And you’re not working right now, Ianto, please call me Jack.”
“Sorry, Sir. I mean… Jack.” Ianto’s voice was still tight and restrained and none of the tension had left his shoulders.
“You know,” Jack began awkwardly, “if you need someone to, I don’t know, talk to, or … scream at, or… or whatever, I’m here. Whatever you need. And I think Toshiko would be too. You don’t have to cope with this alone.”
Ianto nodded tensely and stood up. He looked back down at Jack, a tinge of gratitude appearing in his eyes. “Thank you. I mean it. I promise I’ll keep it in mind, but right now… right now I think I should just go home.”
Jack stood to join him, taking a small step back so as not to crowd him. “Okay,” he nodded, trying to smile comfortingly. “Good night, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He sighed sadly as he watched Ianto’s back disappear through the cog doorway.
He wasn’t sure what he was doing, but he wasn’t going to let Ianto suffer through this on his own.
Chapter Twenty