Yesterday Is But Today's Memory - 4/19+Interlude
Title: Yesterday Is But Today's Memory
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairings: Jack/Ianto
Rating: R
Disclaimer: If I was the one who owned Torchwood, you think I'd admit it now?
Spoilers: Takes place post 2x05 'Adam', but mentions briefly minor info from later s2 eps. AU
Summary: It wasn’t the lost days that were really giving Ianto Jones nightmares. It was the fact that ever since, he’d suddenly been having flashes from another period of his life he’d thought was lost forever - his first ten years.
Warning: Some chapters of this fic will contain material some may find offensive. To go into more detail would be spoilery for the plot, but DO NOT READ if you are easily offended.
Thanks to: My wonderful betas morbid_sparks, cazmalfoy and angelzbabe1989, who talked me into writing this, then held my hand while I worked through the plot and filled all its holes.
Previous chapters at master list
Chapter Four
Ianto flopped down onto his couch and closed his eyes as Jack took off his boots at the front door. It had been a very long and tiresome day, and Ianto had insisted on their getting out of the Hub for the night. Well, insisted in so much that he told Jack he was going home; within ten minutes, Jack had gathered his things and been ready to accompany Ianto to his flat.
“Gwen cornered me this afternoon with questions,” Jack sighed as he sank down beside him, as close as was physically possible without actually sitting on Ianto’s lap.
“Hmm?” Ianto inquired, not opening his eyes.
“Apparently she was the nominated emissary from the rest of the team.” Jack reached over to sooth the furrows from Ianto’s brow.
Ianto opened his eyes and twisted a little to look at Jack. “About?”
Jack looked back steadily. “You, actually. They’re worried about you.”
“Oh.”
“They’ve noticed something is different with you lately, and Gwen wanted to know what it was.”
“What did you tell her?” Ianto wasn’t worried that Jack would have betrayed a confidence without asking him first, but he was vaguely curious as to how he had managed to satisfy Gwen enough that she stopped pushing, at least temporarily.
“I said that yes, you were going through something, but you were dealing with it. And that if you wanted them to know, you’d tell them yourself. She seemed to accept it, but don’t be surprised if she’s not-so-subtly pressing you about it in a few days.”
Ianto curled into Jack’s side. “Thank you for trying, at least.” Jack’s arm came around him and held him closer. “I don’t think I can deal with them all knowing yet, not when I don’t understand it myself.”
Jack pulled him in and kissed his forehead. “You don’t have to tell them anything until you’re ready. Even if you’re never ready. This isn’t a Torchwood matter, it’s a you matter. It’s entirely up to you.”
Ianto said nothing, simply letting his eyes fall closed again and snuggling his head against Jack’s chest.
For once, he went undisturbed by his emerging memories all night, sleeping peacefully in Jack’s warm, comforting embrace.
Jack’s arms were still tight around him when he was awoken by the gentle beeping of his alarm clock the following morning. His eyes opened, but he batted blindly at the snooze button anyway.
“Morning,” he mumbled against Jack’s shoulder, tipping his head up to press his lips to the corner of Jack’s mouth.
“Mmm…morning,” Jack replied softly, one hand coming up to cup the base of Ianto’s skull as he pulled him into a proper kiss, warm and gentle and familiar; an easy kiss that did nothing more than say, ‘Good morning. I’m happy to be waking up with you; I’m happy you’re in my life.’
The alarm beeped again a few minutes later and Ianto sighed into Jack’s mouth, pulling back. “All right, all right, I’m getting up,” he muttered, rolling over and switching the alarm off.
Jack didn’t bother to get up, merely propped himself up on his arms ‘to enjoy the view’ as Ianto got out of bed and headed for the bathroom, unabashed, after all this time with Jack, of his nakedness.
Jack waited until he heard the shower running before he climbed out of bed and followed him.
Leaving Jack to get dressed in the bedroom, Ianto went out to make them their first coffee of the day. He’d just taken the jug out of the coffeemaker when it hit him.
*Crash*
He startled back to himself as the coffee pot hit the floor, smashing into pieces and spilling scalding hot coffee all over his kitchen floor. He jumped back out of the way and turned to look for something to clean up with, the flash momentarily shoved to the back of his mind.
“Ianto!” Jack skidded around the corner of the doorframe, his shirt only half buttoned and his voice frantic. “What happened?”
Ianto spun to look at him, a cloth in his hand. “I dropped the coffee pot,” he pointed out flatly.
Jack stared at him for a long moment. “Yes, I noticed. That wasn’t what I was asking, and you know it.”
Ianto dropped a few squares of kitchen roll onto the puddle of cooling coffee to stop it spreading further. Kneeling down carefully, he mopped up the worst of the spill with the cloth before pulling a dustpan and brush out of the cupboard under the sink.
“Ianto.” Jack sounded a little impatient but Ianto ignored him, sweeping glass shards into the dustpan. “Ianto.”
“Just a minute while I finish here, Jack.” He gathered up the kitchen towel and dumped it, with the broken pieces of glass, into the bin. Standing up, he looked again at the area. It wasn’t perfect, but he doubted Jack would wait long enough for him to get out the mop.
His suspicions were confirmed a few seconds later when Jack’s hands cupped his cheeks, bringing his face around to meet Jack’s searching gaze. “Ianto?” His voice was softer now.
Ianto sighed and twisted out of Jack’s hands to go back out to the living room. Jack followed, and they resumed their positions on the couch from the night before.
“Was it bad?” Jack asked gently.
Ianto swallowed, freeing the images, sounds and feelings from the flash from the corner of his mind he’d pushed them into. He nodded.
“The darkness again?” Jack’s arm tightened around his shoulders as Ianto shook his head cautiously.
“Worse. I was…” He shivered. “It was different.” He looked round at Jack. “I don’t even know if it was real. Maybe it was just my mind mixing things up, but…”
“But?” Jack’s fingers moved constantly over Ianto’s shoulder, trying to comfort and calm.
“I think it was next to the ocean, the same place I’ve seen before. But… it was completely different. There were these… these creatures, and…”
He had to stop and take a few deep breaths. “They were coming at me, and then everything went black.” He shook his head again. “It just… it must be something from Torchwood getting mixed up in my mind, because… I don’t know.”
Jack cupped his cheek and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Hey, it’s okay.” He pulled back enough to look into Ianto’s eyes. “Did you recognise the… creatures?”
Ianto bit his lip. “No. But they have to be something I’ve seen with Torchwood. They have to be. Because if they’re not, what does that make me?”
Chapter Five
Comments and concrit welcomed - comments are love!! &hearts
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairings: Jack/Ianto
Rating: R
Disclaimer: If I was the one who owned Torchwood, you think I'd admit it now?
Spoilers: Takes place post 2x05 'Adam', but mentions briefly minor info from later s2 eps. AU
Summary: It wasn’t the lost days that were really giving Ianto Jones nightmares. It was the fact that ever since, he’d suddenly been having flashes from another period of his life he’d thought was lost forever - his first ten years.
Warning: Some chapters of this fic will contain material some may find offensive. To go into more detail would be spoilery for the plot, but DO NOT READ if you are easily offended.
Thanks to: My wonderful betas morbid_sparks, cazmalfoy and angelzbabe1989, who talked me into writing this, then held my hand while I worked through the plot and filled all its holes.
Previous chapters at master list
Chapter Four
Ianto flopped down onto his couch and closed his eyes as Jack took off his boots at the front door. It had been a very long and tiresome day, and Ianto had insisted on their getting out of the Hub for the night. Well, insisted in so much that he told Jack he was going home; within ten minutes, Jack had gathered his things and been ready to accompany Ianto to his flat.
“Gwen cornered me this afternoon with questions,” Jack sighed as he sank down beside him, as close as was physically possible without actually sitting on Ianto’s lap.
“Hmm?” Ianto inquired, not opening his eyes.
“Apparently she was the nominated emissary from the rest of the team.” Jack reached over to sooth the furrows from Ianto’s brow.
Ianto opened his eyes and twisted a little to look at Jack. “About?”
Jack looked back steadily. “You, actually. They’re worried about you.”
“Oh.”
“They’ve noticed something is different with you lately, and Gwen wanted to know what it was.”
“What did you tell her?” Ianto wasn’t worried that Jack would have betrayed a confidence without asking him first, but he was vaguely curious as to how he had managed to satisfy Gwen enough that she stopped pushing, at least temporarily.
“I said that yes, you were going through something, but you were dealing with it. And that if you wanted them to know, you’d tell them yourself. She seemed to accept it, but don’t be surprised if she’s not-so-subtly pressing you about it in a few days.”
Ianto curled into Jack’s side. “Thank you for trying, at least.” Jack’s arm came around him and held him closer. “I don’t think I can deal with them all knowing yet, not when I don’t understand it myself.”
Jack pulled him in and kissed his forehead. “You don’t have to tell them anything until you’re ready. Even if you’re never ready. This isn’t a Torchwood matter, it’s a you matter. It’s entirely up to you.”
Ianto said nothing, simply letting his eyes fall closed again and snuggling his head against Jack’s chest.
For once, he went undisturbed by his emerging memories all night, sleeping peacefully in Jack’s warm, comforting embrace.
Jack’s arms were still tight around him when he was awoken by the gentle beeping of his alarm clock the following morning. His eyes opened, but he batted blindly at the snooze button anyway.
“Morning,” he mumbled against Jack’s shoulder, tipping his head up to press his lips to the corner of Jack’s mouth.
“Mmm…morning,” Jack replied softly, one hand coming up to cup the base of Ianto’s skull as he pulled him into a proper kiss, warm and gentle and familiar; an easy kiss that did nothing more than say, ‘Good morning. I’m happy to be waking up with you; I’m happy you’re in my life.’
The alarm beeped again a few minutes later and Ianto sighed into Jack’s mouth, pulling back. “All right, all right, I’m getting up,” he muttered, rolling over and switching the alarm off.
Jack didn’t bother to get up, merely propped himself up on his arms ‘to enjoy the view’ as Ianto got out of bed and headed for the bathroom, unabashed, after all this time with Jack, of his nakedness.
Jack waited until he heard the shower running before he climbed out of bed and followed him.
Leaving Jack to get dressed in the bedroom, Ianto went out to make them their first coffee of the day. He’d just taken the jug out of the coffeemaker when it hit him.
*Crash*
He startled back to himself as the coffee pot hit the floor, smashing into pieces and spilling scalding hot coffee all over his kitchen floor. He jumped back out of the way and turned to look for something to clean up with, the flash momentarily shoved to the back of his mind.
“Ianto!” Jack skidded around the corner of the doorframe, his shirt only half buttoned and his voice frantic. “What happened?”
Ianto spun to look at him, a cloth in his hand. “I dropped the coffee pot,” he pointed out flatly.
Jack stared at him for a long moment. “Yes, I noticed. That wasn’t what I was asking, and you know it.”
Ianto dropped a few squares of kitchen roll onto the puddle of cooling coffee to stop it spreading further. Kneeling down carefully, he mopped up the worst of the spill with the cloth before pulling a dustpan and brush out of the cupboard under the sink.
“Ianto.” Jack sounded a little impatient but Ianto ignored him, sweeping glass shards into the dustpan. “Ianto.”
“Just a minute while I finish here, Jack.” He gathered up the kitchen towel and dumped it, with the broken pieces of glass, into the bin. Standing up, he looked again at the area. It wasn’t perfect, but he doubted Jack would wait long enough for him to get out the mop.
His suspicions were confirmed a few seconds later when Jack’s hands cupped his cheeks, bringing his face around to meet Jack’s searching gaze. “Ianto?” His voice was softer now.
Ianto sighed and twisted out of Jack’s hands to go back out to the living room. Jack followed, and they resumed their positions on the couch from the night before.
“Was it bad?” Jack asked gently.
Ianto swallowed, freeing the images, sounds and feelings from the flash from the corner of his mind he’d pushed them into. He nodded.
“The darkness again?” Jack’s arm tightened around his shoulders as Ianto shook his head cautiously.
“Worse. I was…” He shivered. “It was different.” He looked round at Jack. “I don’t even know if it was real. Maybe it was just my mind mixing things up, but…”
“But?” Jack’s fingers moved constantly over Ianto’s shoulder, trying to comfort and calm.
“I think it was next to the ocean, the same place I’ve seen before. But… it was completely different. There were these… these creatures, and…”
He had to stop and take a few deep breaths. “They were coming at me, and then everything went black.” He shook his head again. “It just… it must be something from Torchwood getting mixed up in my mind, because… I don’t know.”
Jack cupped his cheek and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Hey, it’s okay.” He pulled back enough to look into Ianto’s eyes. “Did you recognise the… creatures?”
Ianto bit his lip. “No. But they have to be something I’ve seen with Torchwood. They have to be. Because if they’re not, what does that make me?”
Chapter Five
Comments and concrit welcomed - comments are love!! &hearts