Masterlist

[eudaimon]

Generation Kill
STADIUMS AND SHRINES - Brad/Nate (NC17)
Nate's come to think of Brad as being like a gun or a bomb, some delicate machinery of war. Something shifts, moves out of place, and he doesn't work as he should, and that's when he takes himself off until it's corrected, spends hours under his Humvee, chipping away at something that the rest of the world is never going to even see.

CLEARLY, I REMEMBER WHEN - Brad/Nate ( NC17)
Brad doesn't know how he feels about that; he's a Reconn Marine, possessed of a proud warrior spirit and just because he isn't afraid of death doesn't mean that he's ready to find out how it ends, yet. Where Nate can't see him, Brad smiles and shifts until he can lie more comfortably with Nate's head pillowed on his chest. His eyes drift closed.

SOUNDS FAMILIAR - Brad/Nate (NC17)
Fuck the rules. Fuck not thinking about it in terms of ‘love’. Ulysses…Odysseys…he was at drift on the ocean for fifteen years. Right then, lying there, his bare arm pressed against Nate’s, Brad felt like he had come into a cool, calm harbour, sheltered, after a long time looking for a sea to sail home on.

ALL WIDE-EYED LIKE THE REST - Brad/Nate (R)
A Recon Marine is a patient animal; waiting is their purpose and they are tempered for it, born to this, hoo-rah, and long ago settled into a size that was as useful as possible to the Corps. Semper Fi. Be the trouble that you want to see in the world.

FROM THE LAND OF REVOLUTION - Nate/Brad (NC17)
But if Doc Bryan can meet a beautiful girl in a grocery store then anything can happen. They don’t call him the Iceman because he doesn’t feel.

GARDEN-VERSE:

THE BONES INSIDE YOU SINGING OUT AGAIN - Brad/Nate (NC17) - (SERIES - garden!verse)
When he arrives she gives him a moment to drop his duffle bag before she cups his face with both hands and kisses him soundly on both cheeks. Her long black hair smells of sandalwood and cooking spices. Tim Bryan stands back from it all, arms folded across his chest, looking slightly bemused. It's a look that Brad's never seen on the Doc's face before. It suits him.

A SINGLE SPARK - Doc Bryan/OFC (PG)
Miracles. Tim had never been entirely sure where he stood on miracles. His mother went to church every Sunday while his father went to work, and they struggled, and Tim cooked for his kid brother and sister as often as he didn't, and he didn't see many miracles. Which made it hard to believe in them as an adult, when all he'd seen over and over again was how fucked up the world can be, and how often babies died.

Still, when he opened his eyes and saw it, Tim thought that maybe, just maybe, there was the possibility of miracles.

LATTER DAYS

DAY 8 - (PG13)
A week ago, when all of this started, Ray had launched into a discussion on what kind of zombie assholes they were up against; '28 Days Later' Rage Zombies or 'Dawn of the Dead' Zombies? Brain munchers or into blood or guts? Doc Bryan had bent low over his knees and tugged off his bandanna, rubbed his fingers through his short hair and shook his head.

"None of them," he'd said, voice rough. "These are zombies of motherfucking indifference."
They'd laughed like it was a joke, at the time.

DAY 1 - (PG13)
It ought to be an insult to some overtly masculine part of him, but it isn't. He just numbers the experience and counts it as the first crack in his warrior's heart.

SOUTH, SOUTH
TO THE SOUTH, TO THE SOUTH - Nate/Brad (PG13)
The Humvee rolls and cannot right itself.
The tin drops away from his hand.

BRIEF NOTES ON SURVIVING THE END OF THE WORLD - Nate/Brad (NC17)
Once, in Mesopotamia, they developed a complicated language of looks more through necessity than design, but Brad has no cipher for the look that Nate's giving him when he's done dry-heaving bile onto the shoulder of the dusty road.

BY TOMORROW YOU SHOULD GROW - Brad/Nate (R)
"You don't have to, Brad," Nate says, his voice tight, eyes wide and pale and fixed on Brad's face. "I can. You really don't have to."
Yes, he does.

TO CONSTRUCT A LIFE THAT MADE SENSE - Brad/Nate - (PG)
One reason that he loves Nate: he fumbles with his shoe-laces for a moment and Nate puts his wallet back into the back pocket of his khakis and he doesn't offer to help.

EVERY SUNDAY I WAKE - Brad/Nate (PG)
Maybe he'll find a way to fumble on. It's not his style but, fuck it; he's got a faithful heart and Marines have always made do with what they have.

THESE DAYS ARE GOLDEN - Nate/Brad - (R)
Afterwards, they lie separate but near and he can feel the heat pouring off Nate's skin. He covers his eyes with one hand and waits for his breathing to return to normal. He looks over, and Nate's smiling. He thinks about all of the times that they leaned side by side in the dark.

WOMEN IN COMBAT:
but time takes too much - Nate/Brad (R)
On the inside of her kevlar, she writes, 'THE OUTCOME OF THE WAR IS IN OUR HANDS.'

TO A PLACE INSIDE WHERE THERE IS JOY - Brad/Nate, Ray/OFC, Doc Bryan/OFC, Poke/OFC, Liebgott/Webster, Leckie/Hoosier, Lena/John, Tunny/Will (NC17)
And Nate’s the only one that Brad’s ever surrendering to; no affront to his Warrior spirit, just the way that things turned out, hoo rah.
Semper fi. Be the trouble that you want to see in the world.

WE KNOW FOR SURE AMIDSTS THIS FADING LIGHT - Brad/Nate (R)
"What the fuck, Homes?" he mumbles and, in the half-light, his eyes are wide and dark and frightened.
Nate doesn't even have an answer for him, except the tower of Babylon was a ziggurat too, and look what became of them.

OUR BODIES BECAME ARSONISTS TO WILL - Brad/Nate (NC17)
There's an alarm bleating somewhere in the dark outside the open window and Brad sits with his back to the cistern and watches Nate through the steam. They've been fucking for a week and he's still looking for the scar; Nate won't tell him the story of how he turned. Brad's not sure that he wants to know but he still looks for the scar.

AND LAY DOWN YOUR ARMS - Brad/Nate (NC17)
Waiting, he can't settle to anything. He spends his afternoon up to his elbows in the guts of a Triumph, trying to get it to run. He takes things apart and puts them back together, cleans each part in turn. He wears surgical gloves, purple, latex free. He's always hated getting motor-oil under his fingernails.

He listens to Metallica, but he doesn't really hear the words.
He thinks about Nate.

ARTILERY LOOP - Brad/Nate (NC17)
In his career, Brad's always teetered infuriatingly; utterly in control of his own self but often operating in a complete cluster-fuck of a situation.
Until he met Nate Fick and felt everything crinkle into place.

HEARTS SO LOUD THEY BEAT IN TURN - Firefly!AU - Brad/Nate (R)
The war is never really over. It's never really been over. He still wakes in the night, sweating, remembering the way the sky had flared over Serenity Valley. If he's good for the rest of his life, it'll be in the hope that he never has to see the sky change like that again, or that he never has to believe in anything else so deeply.

A CIRCLE IN THE CHAIN - Brad/Nate, Poke/OFC, Ray/OFC, Doc Bryan/OFC (NC17) - Norse Myth AU
(Listen: you don't have to believe in any of this shit for it to be real).

OUTLAW BIKERS

THE DICE ARE LOADED; YOU'LL NEVER MISS - Brad/Nate (PG13)
His life changes when he’s eighteen. He gets a better bike. His father puts a bullet in his brain and he inherits leadership of the Chapter. He doesn’t go to college. He still reads a lot.

THEIR LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS - Brad/Nate (NC17)
Brad closed his eyes and kissed Nate’s neck and it was all going to turn out to be a clusterfuck, all of this, but, for right then, neither of them had to be in control and both of them could believe.

SURE SOME HAZARDRY - Brad/Nate, Ray/Walt (NC17)
The shit that they get away with is kind of incredible, when he sits back and thinks about it. Outside, there’s a summer storm in full force and the light is weird and eerie as he leans back in his chair and watches as Nate stands up and strips out of his battered Sabbath t-shirt. The ink on his skin looks stark and beautiful. He stretches his arms up over his head before he sits down again and Brad can’t help but feel that at least some of that is for his benefit.

IGNORE YOUR CRIES AND HEARTACHE - Brad/Nate/OMC (NC17)
And Brad doesn’t know who the fuck Murphy he is, but he knows enough to read the look on Nate’s face and that missed call before the one that was answered and some subtle change in the direction of the wind.

OUR YEAR OUT OF TIME (by pjvilar

IN THE NATION OF HEAT - Brad/Nate (NC17)
Nate finds himself fantasising about kissing in a way that he hasn’t since he was a kid. He’s not shy about the fact that he’s never had to work too hard to have someone in his bed. He supposes that it must have something to do with being comfortable in his own skin. Christie teases him about it, sometimes. Jesus Nate, she says. I used to have some self-control but then you looked at me with that revolutionary fucking zeal shining in your eyes and suddenly I didn’t know what happened to my underwear. She grins. True story.

YOU ARE MARK TWAIN - Brad/Nate (R)
Later, Nate looks at the book and laughs, tells Brad that he's about three years late to be discovering the Beats and fuck Kerouac, that motherfucking dick.
And maybe he is but, as he unzips Nate's jeans and eases his hand inside, Ferlinghetti stays with him.

We can conquer the conquerors with words..

AMERICAN IDIOT:
AND SOME FLARE OUT - Will/Tunny (R)
And Gemma says that you don't have to stay anywhere forever..
But she also says that nobody feels normal at seventeen.

THE HUNGER GAMES:
kiss all your saviours - Gale/Johanna/Cinna (R)
He doesn't move. He barely breathes. He never went near an arena but he reminds her of a tribute, anyway. She half closes her eyes and imagines that long arrow piercing a slim throat.

STAR TREK
AND ONE OF THEM WILL BE ME WATCHING YOU WRONG - Chekov/Sulu (R)
Sometimes, he ran so hard that there was as trembling that started in his lips and ended up in his finger-bones. It reminded him of the first time he was on a ship that went to Warp; pounding, throbbing, hurting, almost, closer and closer to something and then...boom!
Faster than light.

AFTER THAT LONG KISS I NEAR LOST MY BREATH - Chekov/Sulu (NC17)
Turning away, Sulu got up onto the bed and crawled, and Chekov couldn't help but stare at the way bright green silk pulled tight across her ass. He reminded himself that there was a lot about this that he shouldn't be enjoying. He had to keep focused, which was difficult when he was watching the slip-slide of long, strong muscles. Dimly, he remembered the first time he'd watched Sulu's vitals jump and dance. He remembered, months and months later, the first kiss and the jump of his own heart.

THE BODIES THAT RISE SLOWLY BACK - Sulu/Chekov (NC17)
Four days later, he was still waiting for Chekov's eyes to open. At the other end of the Sick Bay, Spock was keeping a similar vigil. Spock paced. Sulu slouched with his feet up on the bed, paging through botanical journals uploaded onto his PADD, practicing what he was going to say when Chekov woke up. He bought a few things from Chekov's quarters; a t-shirt that either one of them might wear to bed, depending on the night...a candle that smelled like church incense...a three-legged stuffed rhinocerous named Tolstoy. Sulu sat with Tolstoy cradled in his lap, watching Chekov sleep.

THE PRICE OF LIVING MOTION - Sulu/Chekov (R)
There has been no signal from the away team for a week. That blue line has been flat and unmoving for seven days. While he cannot find it in himself to believe that Sulu is dead, sometimes, Chekov allows himself to wonder: how did his father live fifteen years with his aching heart?

TELL ME THE STORY OF HOW YOU ENDED UP HERE - Chekov/Sulu (PG13_
In a bed at the end of the bay, Sulu lies sleeping. His face is paler than Chekov has ever seen it, circles of hot colour burning. The flush continues down to his chest. At the side of his bed, there's a pile of envelopes, arranged neatly.

HOW FAR TO LIVE ON - Sulu/Chekov (PG)
At night, he dreams of hurtling through space. He dreams the taste of ozone, the scream of the wind that wasn’t louder than the shuddering thumping thudding of his own beating heart as he fell like a stone. In the dreams, sometimes he catches Sulu and sometimes he doesn’t but, mostly, he’s falling. He’s just falling forever and Vulcan’s rushing up to meet him.

THE SIGHT OF BRIDGES AND BALLOONS - Chekov/Sulu (PG)
Once there was a woman and he loved her. Time is both complicated and relative, and she was not always a woman; once, she was the girl who held him tightly in her arms after her Papa bought him for her on a trip to London. She held him tightly and she wrote her name on his label lest he be lost.
M A R T A, she wrote. Marta.
And he was Tolstoy. And they were together.

TUESDAYS AND FORGETFULNESS - Sulu/Chekov (G)
Some days, it seems like all Chekov does is tell stories. Sulu's started to think of Russia as a place where they put stories in the water instead of calcium and fluoride, so that's what built up Pavel Chekov's bones and it's in his daughter's bones too.

AND WROTE MY WILL ACROSS THE SKY IN STARS - Sulu/Chekov (R_
The phaser misses him by inches, but it doesn't miss her, and the wound smokes and he ends up with his head against her full breast and, when he closes his eyes, the shot is burning on the inside of his eyelids.
Electric blue.

IN OLD LOVE SONGS - Sulu/Chekov (R)
Sulu doesn’t say anything. He leans down and gently takes the chess piece out of Chekov’s hand and sets it back on the board. In a couple of hours, he’ll be back on the bridge and Chekov will be sleep tousled and yawning and he’ll sit down with cup of coffee and he’ll reset the board piece by piece and, tomorrow, they’ll start the game again because, for right now, it’s as close as they get, most days but, for now, they have time.

A HYMN TO THE (ALMOST) FALLEN - Sulu/Chekov (G)
As he lies dying, their lives flash before his eyes.

AND ALL THE LOVERS AT WAR - Sulu/Chekov (pg)
You know that story because I told him that story. They're doing this. You're them.

FINGERBONES:

PROXIMAL, MIDDLE, DISTAL - Jamie/McCoy (R)
Rationally, quietly, over breakfast maybe, in another room maybe, Doctor Leonard McCoy knows the names of every single one of the delicate and lovely bones that makes up the human hand. All of that goes out of the window when he's around Jamie.

AND NOW MY HEART IS GREEN AS WEEDS - Jamie/Pike (R)
When he was a boy, his mother taught him to hunt with a bow, and that's what Jamie most reminds him of now, taunt like part of a weapon. Which makes sense, when he thinks about it. She was born of parents who knew how to fight, a mother who came through fire and smoke with a newborn in her arms...a father who saved eight-hundred lives in order to protect just two.

YOUR PEOPLE WILL BE MY PEOPLE - Jamie/McCoy (PG)
And she goes days without talking to anybody, eats breakfast alone in boxer shorts and a Starfleet PT t-shirt. She sits on the con and watches the stars. She lies still and listens to the ship moving around her.<

IN THAT LONG AGO, SOMEWHERE VERY NEAR - Jamie/Pike (R)
"What do you need?" he asks her and she knows that she wants to feel like that bird must feel, but she doesn't know how to put that into words so she kisses him instead.

A FIELD GUIDE TO GETTING LOST - Jamie/Pike (PG)
It's been a year since he last saw her, maybe more...eighteen months since he last saw her, and she's got the dust of other worlds on the soles of her shoes.

ONE WILL FALL BY THE WAY - Jamie/Pike, Jamie/Bones (PG)
If she looks at this too closely then she'll see the whole truth of it: the sickbay, a table, more blood than should be possible. A hole in her belly the size of a fist, the raw edges still smoking and her uniform melting and Bones' hands hovering like a faith healer's. Blood, blood, blood, blood, blood.

A VERY STAR-LIKE START - Firefly-crossover - Chekov/River Tam (PG)
Compared to the buik of the Enterprise, the ship is tiny, scruffy but still very beautiful. She sparks in the dark, against the indigo glow of the deep, deep space and he watches and he tries not to think about the summer nights in Piter. He tries not to think about home too much, to make himself miss it so much, skinny dipping in warm river water, slipping teenaged skins, kissing deeply under dipping lights.

NOTHING CAN EVER BE HELD - Kirk/Pike (R)
He wants to tell him that a Captain will never love anybody as much as he loves his ship and that's okay. He wants to tell him that women (and men, too) are a comfort, a solace, a hiding place, but home will always be the U.S.S Enterprise, and, as long as he remembers that, he'll have somewhere to go back to. He wants to tell him that falling isn't the end of the world as long as you know there's someone to catch you. He wants to tell him to follow his wandering, wondering, racing, dangerous heart. Trust yourself, son. You'll be okay.

MY LOVE, THE ASTRONAUT - Kirk/Pike (R)
The wind stirs Jim's shirt where it's open save for one button, flapping the fabric at his sides and, leaning his weight onto one crutch, Chris reaches around him and undoes the last button. He slips his free hand under Jim's open shirt, resting it against Jim's chest. He can feel the strong rhythm of Jim's heart, an aching counterpoint to the mournful sound of the wind in the branches of the trees.
He drops the crutch and leans his weight against Jim instead.

THINGS OF OR PERTAINING TO COUNTERPOINT - Jim/Bones (R)
He has to believe in the occasional chance in Hell. He has to sometimes believe that good things happen to people who, if they aren't good, are only flawed in ways which hurt themselves. He has to believe that, somewhere in the whole wide universe, there's a place where they get lucky.

THINGS KNOWN TO TRAVELLERS - TR UNIVERSE - Reid/Kirk (PG)
Which makes it worse, much worse, when he wakes up and neither of them have gone anywhere. All of his life, Jim Kirk had felt ready to travel, a seed of something that only burst into, if not flower, then green, when Chris Pike sat opposite him in that bar and bullied him with his father's greatness.

CRIMINAL MINDS:
&THANKS TO THIS ARTIFICE WE MANAGE TO ENDURE - Reid/Prentiss/Hotch (NC17)
She's never going to be entirely sure how it happens. She's virtually sure that it has to be her fault (it really has to be) but the wine has started to make her head spin, just a little, pleasantly, and she's sitting half leaning back against Reid, and Hotch is in the armchair, and she hears herself say it. It's one of those weird out of body moments, and she's sure it's her fault.
"Okay, Reid," she hears herself saying. "Truth or dare."

AND THERE WILL BE NO MIRACLES HERE - Hotch/Reid/Prentiss, Morgan/Garcia, Will/JJ (R)
Garcia kisses her fingertips and presses them against the camera lens.
"Can't stop the rock, my doves," she says.

TO THE MEASURE OF OUR OWN DESIRES - Hotch/Reid (R)
When Reid was a little boy, his Mom told him the story of Abelard and Heloise and how they'd write each other letters filled with passion and, oh, longing. Such longing. She'd never actually read him the letters themselves, but she used to read to him about them and those were some of his favourite times, those quiet times when the world wasn't quite so obvious to either of them. The point is that Reid academically understands love letters but he's never written one himself and, anyway, he's got terrible handwriting.
He opens his email instead.

TO ABANDON ALL SENSE - Prentiss/Reid (NC17)
Reid has spent a lot of his life feeling raw-boned and awkward, and statistics make him feel in control, but he could get used to feeling right..

INEVITABLE LOVE SONGS - JJ/Will, Morgan/Garcia, Prentiss/Reid
"Say it again," she says, and he smiles and Garcia doesn't even bother trying to figure out exactly how long it is that she's been in love with him but she doesn't wonder how it is that he's never completely stopped her heart.
"Woman," he says, quiet, just for her and his thumb traces against her bottom lip. "You are my God-given solace."
"Yup," she says. "That's what you said."

HALF A MOON DRABBLES - various (various)

TERMINATOR SALVATION
INTERLUDE - Blair/Marcus (R)
She turns them precisely and leans back, looking up at him through her hair. She paints the band across her eyes whenever they go into the cities, wherever other people are, and he kisses her forehead and tastes paint and tells her that she looks like something out of her own past.
Good, she tells him. Good. It means that I'm remembering what we lost.

CATCHING BULLETS WITH THE BEST - Kyle/Marcus/Blair (R_
"What am I supposed to do now?" she asks him.
He shrugs and pulls his shirt over his head and then he walks slowly to the bend and bends over it, lifting her face with his hand against her cheek until he can kiss her, soft and sweet. He smoothes the hair back from Kyle's forehead with metal fingers warm from resting against skin.
"Look after him," he says, quietly. "Keep on holding up the sky."

THE PACIFIC
OUR ARBITRARY SELVES - Hoosier/Leckie (R)
He thinks about trying to write to Vera, but it just ends up about Hoosier again.

FUCK POETS:

WE LAY CLAIM TO THE WORLD GRADUALLY - Leckie/Hoosier (R)
Fuck sonnets. There's no truth in poetry anymore.

ON A SEARCH FOR FLIGHT - Leckie/Hoosier (R)
The kiss is hot and damp, unfocused, and when he breaks the kiss, breathless, Hoosier's lips look swollen, and, somehow, he expected Bill to taste of cigarettes and coffee and red Pacific mud.
He's relieved when he doesn't.

A VISION TOO REMOVED TO REMEMBER - Lena/John (PG13)
And sometimes (by the ocean, mostly, and only ever for a few breaths at a time) he made her so, so sad. He came up out of the waves smiling and all she could ever think was how long am I going to have you? How long are you going to be mine?

JUSTFIED
WITHER YOUR FONDER HEART LIES - Ava Crowder/Raylan Givens (R)
For a moment, she just watches him through the screen and she thinks about how he was at nineteen; she thinks about how gorgeous he'd been at nineteen and how dangerous, drinking beer with dirt across his cheekbone and leaving already on his face.

MAD MEN
A GUIDE TO RECOGNISING SAINTS - genish.
Here's the lie: that anybody in the world is truly happy. Don knows, has always known, that they don't sell real happiness. What they sell is the possibility of happiness. Here is your life, and here is how you make it better.
Joy is what they answer to.

A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE
BUT SOME FLARE UP WITH LOVE - Renly/Loras (R)
In the frozen north, the cold north, they kneel in the godswood. In the soft south they have the Sept and the Seven. The King in the south prays when it suits him, pays lip-service to many gods, but this, right here, this boy-knight with rumpled green velvet open across his chest and his hair slipping into his eyes is all that Renly Baratheon has ever needed to believe in. Loras Tyrell slides down with his hands on Renly's hips to steady him as he leans, his lips as pink as any Highgarden rose finding the bare skin between doublet and breeches. Renly lets his head all back, gloriously unburdened by his crown and Loras looks him straight in the eye before he takes him in his mouth.
The greatest knight need kneel only to his King.

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA
BENEATH THE WINTER COLD - Edmund/Jadis, Edmund/Susan (R)
Another thing: what if she ruined him forever for warmer girls?

BE AHEAD OF ALL PARTINGS - Susan/Edmund (R)
And it's many years before it's safe for them to leave Cair Paravel and journey to the edges of their realm.

RPF
IN THE MOVIES AND THE HYMNS - Anton Yelchin/John Cho (R)
In the silence, the relatively privacy of the hills and the ash-tasting breeze, Anton strips himself so he's naked in the bed of his truck when he leans forward and carefully undoes every button on John's dress shirt. John pushes ten fingers into his hair (which he's going to have to cut for the next movie, but he's leaving it as long as he can) and pulls, slightly, Anton's lips sliding against the skin over his sternum, down over his ribs.
Dimly, he remembers thinking that there ought to be more poetic names for bones.

The Romance in our Risks - August Diehl/Daniel Bruhl (R-ish)
They share a cigarette back and forth and August catches sight of himself in a long mirror, the arch of his back as he slips the cigarette between his lips and inhales. The things that he loves: his wife, his unborn child, smoking, Daniel.

A LETTER TO THE LOS ANGELEANS - Jamie Bell/OFC (R)
One a.m in Los Angeles means nine A.M in London, so Kat will be sitting at her desk already. He picks up his mobile and walks, naked as the day he was born, out onto the balcony. He sits down, night-air cool on skin that's still almost feverish to the touch. He puts his feet on the rail and calls his big sister in Leeds.

HARRY POTTER:

THIS PLACE IS THE BEAT OF MY HEART - gen

There is a hole in the roof of the Great Hall which lets in the blue sky and the good air. The quiet after the war which is not quiet at all but sounds like mending and making do.

The castle knows that she will be new again.
And they will be hers forever, these boys and girls who also lived.

SUITS:

MANY TIMES SURPRISED - Harvey/Mike, Harvey/Jessica, implied Mike/Rachel, Mike/Jenny and Harvey/Donna (NC17)
He stands and looks down at the city while he drinks. The lights. The ever present sound of traffic. He was born here. He knows here.
Which doe not mean that he's not prepared to be surprised.

SIRENS:

PROVE YOU'LL UNLOCK - Ashley/Rachid (NC17)
If you asked him, even if you gave him time to think about it, he wouldn’t really know why he’s here. Maybe not thinking about it is the way to go. He’s always been able to turn off his brain during sex - it’s something of a God-given talent. Since he was a kid, he’s been able to focus on the physical, to fall into sensation, to just be his body for a while and forget all about his brain. It’s possible that it’s the best thing about him.

MIXED:
THE STORY OF THE BOYS WHO LOVED - Tunny/Will (American Idiot), George/David (The War Boys), Brad/Nate (Generation Kill) (NC17)
It’s not all ruined. It’s far from over. They still have a lot to give. For a long time, David felt like he didn’t deserve something as beautiful as the ocean but, still, it’s where they ended up.