wedding stories

[eunicemcgee]

My sister got married last August. Her wedding ceremony was in my parent's living room, and her reception was held in a restaurant in a shopping center on a nearby lake. After we left the house to go to the restaurant, we realized that she'd gotten married on the day of our town's annual Asian festival, which was being celebrated at the same lake

Comments

[holytoastr]

I think any woman that does not act like a doormat for her wedding is going to be labelled a bridezilla. My mother was accusing me of one constantly because I didn't want to do everything she wanted. Soon the whole family was calling me one because I screamed and cried the day my mother rescheduled all my appointments without telling me for a bridal shower I specifically told her I didn't want.

"Oh no! A woman with an opinion! SHAME!!!! HISSSSS!!!!"

Weddings are pretty miserable. I think if I could have gone back in time, I'd have eloped.

[eunicemcgee]

I don't think I would have eloped if I went back in time, but I think I would have had a lot of bridesmaids who were able to help out. I picked my two younger sisters because, well, they're my sisters, but it would have been nice to have a couple useful friends around as well. My older younger sister is a chronic pain patient, and actually had a torn shoulder ligament the time of the wedding; so she was barely managing a basic level of functioning at the time (like, she wasn't even able to wash her hair before the ceremony), even with the help of copious amounts of meds. My other younger sister is 14, and while she helped me assemble programs, she couldn't really run any errands. I think it would have gone a lot more smoothly if I had people who could have tried three different grocery stores for birdseed, or dropped off cake pulls at the baker, or taken my sister's shoes to be dyed, or done any number of other tasks that I tried to take on myself. None of it sounds like a big deal, until you try to do it all yourself. Oh well,

[justdandy]

I really feel like over and above any individual act of inconsiderateness, this kind of thing is just built into the American wedding industry. If you're a bride and you're doing things even marginally by the book, you are going to be a frazzled wreck, and no one will appreciate the level of work you did to put everything together, because unless you're a celebrity or something, part of the game is that the wedding is supposed to look totally natural -- i.e., pretty much like every other wedding that people have been to. All of these wedding elements (invitations, flowers, dress, reception) are so familiar that nobody seems to remember or care that they're all special one-time things you frantically organize specifically for this event, and not things that you just happen to have lying around in your closet or the back of your Rolodex. And even if they do have some idea of the work involved, people just expect it to be a challenge, like some kind of crazy reality TV competition you have with yourself. You're right that as a bride

[eunicemcgee]

I guess a big part of the problem is how much Justin bought into the myth of the effortless wedding you're describing. I felt like since he was behind the scenes with me, he should realize what a crock it all is; but he kept insisting that I "stop worrying, because it'll all come together." By the time the actual wedding rolled around, I was so exasperated every time I heard "it'll all come together" - because unless I did a lot of work, no, we would not have dinner at our wedding, or music, or flowers, or cake, or any other number of elements. It just felt insane that someone who is normally so rational could believe that weddings somehow happen on their own