It was the Sign
Title: It was the Sign
Author: eunki
Pairing: OnTae (Onew x Taemin)
Genre: Angst? maybe
Rating: PG
Warning: Character death
Word Count: 1, 721words
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters but they can own me
Summary: Taemin was left alone.
A/N: Another ontae. I am just trying a full angst story but I don't really know if it came out the way I wanted it to be. I hope you will like this. Please don't forget to leave a comment or maybe comments...kekekeke :D
♥--------♂--------♥
I wanted to live a normal life. I wanted to do all the things ordinary people do. I wanted to be free, free from all those responsibilities and demands from others, others whom I don’t even know. I wanted to express my true emotions, cry if I am sad or get mad if I am angry. It was very intricate when I have to suppress everything deep inside. I needed to smile always and hide that expression if I don’t like something. I just have to put that bright face always. I wanted to love anyone I choose to and I was able to make it. But everything seems to be the same. Stifling what I wanted to say hurts me. I wanted to scream your name out loud. I wanted to shout to the world that I love you, that you are the one who keeps me going and I know you feel the same but I couldn’t. Not until someone out of the group discovered it and leaked it to the media.
You were outside the country with others and I was left here because of conflict in schedules. It was kind of boring being alone. My life just rotated in the dorm, the company’s building and other studios. Even though it was like that, before the end of everyday, you never failed to call me and that completes everything. Hearing your voice is like music to my ears and my heart.
It was late in the afternoon and I was inside SME’s building. I have just finished a rehearsal for a stage the next day. I am excited to go back to the dorm and take a shower because in a few moments you would be back. I wanted to welcome you back with my tight hug. I was walking at the third floor when I heard some noise coming from the ground floor lobby so I looked down and checked it. I saw the securities trying to stop a bunch of reporters from coming in. They were going wild at the entrance and I am very clueless why and the guards failed to stop them. The media stormed inside the building but it seemed like they didn’t know which direction to go. They were just there standing as they think where to go until one of them shouted “There he is.” He pointed at me as everybody looked up on me at the higher floor. I was dazed as flashes of the cameras began to blind my eyes. Questions rained from downstairs. It was then that I realized they already knew everything. They were asking about me and you hyung. They were all asking about our relationship, if it is true or not. I couldn’t open my mouth as they accused me of being a gay. It was like daggers being thrown on me. It felt like I committed the biggest sin in this world. It felt like it was wrong to love you, hyung. They don’t even know our situation and they thought of us so dirtily.
They dashed in every direction, some to the stairs and the others to the elevators. I know they will go to me and my instinct took control of my brain and body. My feet dragged me to the nearest fire exit. I have just started running but I was already panting. Probably it was because I was already nervous. I just wanted to be away of them as soon as possible. They can destroy me and the whole group and I won’t let it. I was skipping several steps as I hurriedly went down. I couldn’t hear them but I know they were all following. If I can only jump from those stairs.
I reached our car but the driver wasn’t there. I didn’t know what to do. Soon I can hear their voices, calling my name and repeating those sets of questions about us. I decided to turn that key myself and pulled the car out of the parking lot. I know how to drive but I am not that good. I wanted to curse the tears blurring my sight. How come they knew about it? How did they discover it? Who told them?
I thought I already lost them but sadly no. I looked at the mirror and I can see several TV station cars following me at full speed. I didn’t have any choice but to step on the accelerator fully. Screeching of tires echoed on the roads of Seoul. I had almost bumped into other cars added to that my distorted vision. All I did was to push that horn to make everybody move aside. I can feel like I am stitching the road with the way I drive. I was going near the intersection road when the light turned red. I was afraid. I cannot stop the car unless I want them to assault me. I continued stepping on the pedal like there was no tomorrow. I needed to get rid of them.
My eyes went wide when a ten wheeler truck appeared in front of me. I panicked and didn’t know what to do. I was running fast and I can’t maneuver to avoid it. I tried to step on the break as hard as I could as my whole body trembled in fear but it was too late. I heard a loud crash and I bumped my head on the steering wheel. I was still conscious that time. I can hear people screaming here and there. I wanted to move but my body started to feel numb. I can feel something is flowing from my temple till it reached my already blurry sight. It was red and I know it is going to cover my whole face soon.
I could feel someone pulling me out of the car. I know he was crying because I could still hear the sobs. He slightly shook me and called my name. Taemin he said. That voice seemed familiar. He was calling my name in sorrow as he screamed to everyone to call an ambulance. I slightly opened my eyes and saw two teary orbs looking at me. It was you hyung. You were finally back. I tried to smile but my vision started to fade away until darkness covered everything.
It was so soft that it really made me relaxed. The scent makes me settle down. I can hear the whirling of the air conditioner and the beeping of an unknown apparatus. It was so quiet until I felt a pair of hands held one of mine and I felt lips on it. It was shaky. It was trembling as small sobs became audible and I know it was tears wetting my hand. You asked me what happened. I could here you. I wanted to open my eyes, move my body, answer your question or at least squeeze your hands gently but I couldn’t. I can feel, hear, breathe and that’s all I can do. Only my senses were left. Your plead to me to wake up echoed. If only I could, hyung. If only I could. I could feel what you were feeling. I felt the same too. I wanted to hug and smell your scent. I was deprived of it for a whole month. But you are now here and I still can’t do that.
Soon, I felt that I can finally move my body. I slowly opened my eyes. It was blurry but slowly it turned clear, in fact clearer than usual. I really felt light. I saw you still crying while holding my hand. I smiled and caressed your cheeks full of tears but you never turned your head to look at me. You stayed lowering your head and continued sobbing. I patiently wait till you finally focused your eyes on my face and then I grinned but why are you still sad. I am already awake, Jinki hyung. I decided get up and hug you. I felt the warmth from your body. It was really good. I missed you so much. I broke the hug because you seemed not responding. My hands were cupped on your face but I can see you looking behind me. It seemed like your sight is passing through me. Jinki hyung, look at me, just look at me. Focus on me. Look, I am already awake. I wondered why you still kept on pleading and crying. Finally, I looked over my shoulders and I was stunned by what I saw. It was my own body still lying there unconscious on the bed. I wished to cry but all I can feel was sadness, intense sadness but tears just won’t flow. I didn’t know how to comfort you, hyung. It pained me to see you feeling hopeless. I couldn’t do anything, even though it was my body, I couldn’t do anything to go back. Maybe it was a sign, a sign that I should not stay anymore.
I went behind and hugged you. Even I felt sorrow seeing my cataleptic body. Maybe it would be better if we will just stay like this. I didn’t want to cause trouble to the group and to you hyung. I didn’t want to be the cause of the devastation of your name. Maybe, I should just leave. It will be good for you, hyung. If they will ask you about us, about our relationship, don’t admit anything. Just deny it. It will be better that way.
I stood up and kissed you. I saw you closed your eyes as more tears flowed. I know you can feel the message that I wanted to tell you. It’s painful but it will make things back to normal without me. I then heard the beeping from time to time turned into a single prolonged one. My lifeline went flat and I was shocked on how the way you screamed my name but I smiled because I know it was better. I then saw the light. It was very luminous just like the name of our band. That was it, Jinki hyung. Please do what I’ve said. I promise to watch over you always. It was agonizing to see you like that but I’m sorry, I have to leave.
I love you. Goodbye.
♥--------♂--------♥
A/N: I tried writing angst before but not pure. Now, I tried to write a story in full angst genre. I just think this is a super fail, but I hope not. XDD. Please tell me what you think of this. Comments are love. :D
Author: eunki
Pairing: OnTae (Onew x Taemin)
Genre: Angst? maybe
Rating: PG
Warning: Character death
Word Count: 1, 721words
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters but they can own me
Summary: Taemin was left alone.
A/N: Another ontae. I am just trying a full angst story but I don't really know if it came out the way I wanted it to be. I hope you will like this. Please don't forget to leave a comment or maybe comments...kekekeke :D
♥--------♂--------♥
I wanted to live a normal life. I wanted to do all the things ordinary people do. I wanted to be free, free from all those responsibilities and demands from others, others whom I don’t even know. I wanted to express my true emotions, cry if I am sad or get mad if I am angry. It was very intricate when I have to suppress everything deep inside. I needed to smile always and hide that expression if I don’t like something. I just have to put that bright face always. I wanted to love anyone I choose to and I was able to make it. But everything seems to be the same. Stifling what I wanted to say hurts me. I wanted to scream your name out loud. I wanted to shout to the world that I love you, that you are the one who keeps me going and I know you feel the same but I couldn’t. Not until someone out of the group discovered it and leaked it to the media.
You were outside the country with others and I was left here because of conflict in schedules. It was kind of boring being alone. My life just rotated in the dorm, the company’s building and other studios. Even though it was like that, before the end of everyday, you never failed to call me and that completes everything. Hearing your voice is like music to my ears and my heart.
It was late in the afternoon and I was inside SME’s building. I have just finished a rehearsal for a stage the next day. I am excited to go back to the dorm and take a shower because in a few moments you would be back. I wanted to welcome you back with my tight hug. I was walking at the third floor when I heard some noise coming from the ground floor lobby so I looked down and checked it. I saw the securities trying to stop a bunch of reporters from coming in. They were going wild at the entrance and I am very clueless why and the guards failed to stop them. The media stormed inside the building but it seemed like they didn’t know which direction to go. They were just there standing as they think where to go until one of them shouted “There he is.” He pointed at me as everybody looked up on me at the higher floor. I was dazed as flashes of the cameras began to blind my eyes. Questions rained from downstairs. It was then that I realized they already knew everything. They were asking about me and you hyung. They were all asking about our relationship, if it is true or not. I couldn’t open my mouth as they accused me of being a gay. It was like daggers being thrown on me. It felt like I committed the biggest sin in this world. It felt like it was wrong to love you, hyung. They don’t even know our situation and they thought of us so dirtily.
They dashed in every direction, some to the stairs and the others to the elevators. I know they will go to me and my instinct took control of my brain and body. My feet dragged me to the nearest fire exit. I have just started running but I was already panting. Probably it was because I was already nervous. I just wanted to be away of them as soon as possible. They can destroy me and the whole group and I won’t let it. I was skipping several steps as I hurriedly went down. I couldn’t hear them but I know they were all following. If I can only jump from those stairs.
I reached our car but the driver wasn’t there. I didn’t know what to do. Soon I can hear their voices, calling my name and repeating those sets of questions about us. I decided to turn that key myself and pulled the car out of the parking lot. I know how to drive but I am not that good. I wanted to curse the tears blurring my sight. How come they knew about it? How did they discover it? Who told them?
I thought I already lost them but sadly no. I looked at the mirror and I can see several TV station cars following me at full speed. I didn’t have any choice but to step on the accelerator fully. Screeching of tires echoed on the roads of Seoul. I had almost bumped into other cars added to that my distorted vision. All I did was to push that horn to make everybody move aside. I can feel like I am stitching the road with the way I drive. I was going near the intersection road when the light turned red. I was afraid. I cannot stop the car unless I want them to assault me. I continued stepping on the pedal like there was no tomorrow. I needed to get rid of them.
My eyes went wide when a ten wheeler truck appeared in front of me. I panicked and didn’t know what to do. I was running fast and I can’t maneuver to avoid it. I tried to step on the break as hard as I could as my whole body trembled in fear but it was too late. I heard a loud crash and I bumped my head on the steering wheel. I was still conscious that time. I can hear people screaming here and there. I wanted to move but my body started to feel numb. I can feel something is flowing from my temple till it reached my already blurry sight. It was red and I know it is going to cover my whole face soon.
I could feel someone pulling me out of the car. I know he was crying because I could still hear the sobs. He slightly shook me and called my name. Taemin he said. That voice seemed familiar. He was calling my name in sorrow as he screamed to everyone to call an ambulance. I slightly opened my eyes and saw two teary orbs looking at me. It was you hyung. You were finally back. I tried to smile but my vision started to fade away until darkness covered everything.
It was so soft that it really made me relaxed. The scent makes me settle down. I can hear the whirling of the air conditioner and the beeping of an unknown apparatus. It was so quiet until I felt a pair of hands held one of mine and I felt lips on it. It was shaky. It was trembling as small sobs became audible and I know it was tears wetting my hand. You asked me what happened. I could here you. I wanted to open my eyes, move my body, answer your question or at least squeeze your hands gently but I couldn’t. I can feel, hear, breathe and that’s all I can do. Only my senses were left. Your plead to me to wake up echoed. If only I could, hyung. If only I could. I could feel what you were feeling. I felt the same too. I wanted to hug and smell your scent. I was deprived of it for a whole month. But you are now here and I still can’t do that.
Soon, I felt that I can finally move my body. I slowly opened my eyes. It was blurry but slowly it turned clear, in fact clearer than usual. I really felt light. I saw you still crying while holding my hand. I smiled and caressed your cheeks full of tears but you never turned your head to look at me. You stayed lowering your head and continued sobbing. I patiently wait till you finally focused your eyes on my face and then I grinned but why are you still sad. I am already awake, Jinki hyung. I decided get up and hug you. I felt the warmth from your body. It was really good. I missed you so much. I broke the hug because you seemed not responding. My hands were cupped on your face but I can see you looking behind me. It seemed like your sight is passing through me. Jinki hyung, look at me, just look at me. Focus on me. Look, I am already awake. I wondered why you still kept on pleading and crying. Finally, I looked over my shoulders and I was stunned by what I saw. It was my own body still lying there unconscious on the bed. I wished to cry but all I can feel was sadness, intense sadness but tears just won’t flow. I didn’t know how to comfort you, hyung. It pained me to see you feeling hopeless. I couldn’t do anything, even though it was my body, I couldn’t do anything to go back. Maybe it was a sign, a sign that I should not stay anymore.
I went behind and hugged you. Even I felt sorrow seeing my cataleptic body. Maybe it would be better if we will just stay like this. I didn’t want to cause trouble to the group and to you hyung. I didn’t want to be the cause of the devastation of your name. Maybe, I should just leave. It will be good for you, hyung. If they will ask you about us, about our relationship, don’t admit anything. Just deny it. It will be better that way.
I stood up and kissed you. I saw you closed your eyes as more tears flowed. I know you can feel the message that I wanted to tell you. It’s painful but it will make things back to normal without me. I then heard the beeping from time to time turned into a single prolonged one. My lifeline went flat and I was shocked on how the way you screamed my name but I smiled because I know it was better. I then saw the light. It was very luminous just like the name of our band. That was it, Jinki hyung. Please do what I’ve said. I promise to watch over you always. It was agonizing to see you like that but I’m sorry, I have to leave.
I love you. Goodbye.
♥--------♂--------♥
A/N: I tried writing angst before but not pure. Now, I tried to write a story in full angst genre. I just think this is a super fail, but I hope not. XDD. Please tell me what you think of this. Comments are love. :D