Lick Your Wounds, 2/5. NC-17. Loki/Natasha.
Title: Lick Your Wounds
Series: #6 in Ready For The Siege
(#1 - Look Over Your Shoulder, #2 - Armed Up To The Teeth, #3 - Misery Inspires, #4 - Broken Underneath, #5 - Change Is Coming Soon)
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Loki/Natasha
Disclaimer: Not mine! Dubcon, violence, dom/sub dynamics, aftercare, and a lot of emotional manipulation ahead! Some comic backstory is incorporated into characterizations, but this is still primarily movieverse.
Spoilers/Warnings: Post-movie. Read the other stories before this one, because it does refer back to some events in them, especially #4 and #5.
Title and series title from "The Royal We" by Silversun Pickups
Summary: Loki is angry. However, he doesn't react in quite the way that anyone else had thought he would, least of all himself.
Prior chapter:
One - Unexpected Return
Two - Striking A Bargain
Now that he knew the layout of her rooms at Avengers Tower, the next time Loki appeared in Natasha's quarters, he materialized in the path of her roll across the bed to her weapons and immediately put up the protective spells to keep the others out. He pinned her down with his magic before she was fully awake, his teeth bared in a grimace of a smile. "Were you having lovely dreams, dear spider?"
Loki grasped her wrists and pulled her arms behind her, nudging her limbs so that she was kneeling away from him, face and chest pressed against the bed. A sharp yank on her arms pulled her torso up and off the bed a bit. His cock twitched, a deep ache starting to fill him at the thought of sliding into her body. He wanted her so badly he could taste it, and he didn't want to examine that desire too closely. The wanting was too close to need, and his sense of self shied away from needing anyone that way.
"What do you want?" Natasha asked, voice even. It made him grit his teeth. He wanted to see something from her, something real.
Their clothes disappeared with a thought. "You liked this," he told her, voice tight. "When I held you bound, your breath under my control, my fingers in your quim." She wasn't what he thought she was then, though she still defied his understanding. "You want me to take you. To control you. You want to find someone capable of besting you."
"If I did, that someone still isn't you."
Her words angered him, but he couldn't help but think that it was a calculated barb. She wanted to wound him, to make him react without thinking while she kept her cool. Well, he knew how to shatter her control.
A thought had her slicked and lubricated, the only warning Natasha got before he entered her in a single thrust. She made a soft sound that was a strangled mix of pleasure and anger. "I didn't say you could fuck me."
"You didn't say I couldn't."
"I shouldn't have to," she snarled, turning her head enough to see him out of the corner of her eye. "You are many things, but not a rapist."
Loki pulled on her arms, making her arch her back like a bow. "Tell me you don't want this, and I'll leave your bed," he told her. He was being as honest as he knew how to be; this was meant to be a seduction, a way to taunt and lure her back to his side, a reminder that she truly wanted him and not the braying mortals she considered comrades.
Natasha was silent, though her lips were compressed tightly together.
"You want this," Loki said, looking at her. There was no victory in his voice, though his soul sang with delight. "You want to feel my power, you want me inside of you, but you can't let your precious team know of this. You need it, don't you? They don't fascinate you like I do."
Drawing in a slow breath, Natasha still glared at him. "You're very sure of yourself."
"And you still haven't told me no."
Another breath, and then Natasha turned her face away from Loki. "I'm not telling you no. I want you to fuck me."
Loki's lips spread into a wide, pleased grin. Yes, he had this moment of power and pleasure rolled into one, he had her beneath him, tight and wet around his cock. He drew back slowly, then slammed himself back to the hilt. Natasha groaned in pleasure, the movement rocking her forward, dragging her nipples against the sheets. Loki moved at a punishing pace, unable to stop grinning. She was twitching and moaning, head thrown back. Back still drawn like a bow, the sound of her moans shot straight to his groin. He had to close his eyes to maintain his composure, and even then he still wanted to come inside her. She pulled against his hands, as if she could actually wrench herself from his grip, and he could feel her inner walls fluttering around his cock. It felt so good that Loki bit his lip hard enough to bleed to keep from coming right then. Natasha let out a long groan when she tightened and came, meaning Loki didn't have to hold back any longer. He spilled into her depths with a strangled groan of his own.
Letting go of her wrists, Loki watched her collapse onto her bed. His softened cock slipped out of her wet sheath, and he wanted to sprawl out on top of her body. She didn't move to cover herself from his view or clean his seed from her thighs. It was a completely irrational sense of pride that came over him, but he didn't question it too closely. Instead, he stroked her spine gently and leaned over her to whisper in her ear. "You belong to me, little spider." Another stroke along her spine, and his possessive instinct intensified. No one else could have her, no else should touch her like this.
"Unless you want me to fuck you again. You enjoyed that." Natasha lazily turned around beneath him, his hand falling to the valley between her breasts. "I could make you come, give you that peace where even you stop thinking for a moment."
A hot spike of shame and want flooded him. "I don't need you."
"Then why else are you here?" she asked evenly. Natasha grasped his soft, slick cock in her hand, tugging gently. "No one else can give you what I can, can they?"
No, they couldn't. But he didn't want to tell her that, didn't want to give her even a thread of power over him. It was bad enough he did want her dominating him, did want her cradling him and giving him that moment of perfect peace and safety.
There was a moment where she almost seemed to smile at him. "I want that for you, Loki. And I think you want that, too. That's why you come back, but you can't bring yourself to ask me."
"I don't need you," he repeated, but it sounded weak to his own ears. He had no idea what he sounded like to her.
"So why are you here?" she asked him evenly, no inflection in her tone.
"Does it matter to you?" he returned, his grin more like a grimace. She was opaque to him again, which was maddening. Loki knew it was his fault, but he would never accept blame if she gave it to him. He leaned into her until the ends of his hair brushed her cheek. The curls suited her, softening the rather severe look she was giving him. "Had you spent hours pondering the import of my visitation?"
"You'd like it if I did."
She was being deliberately vague, and it sent an irrational spike of anger through him. Others should get that treatment from her, not him. Loki pressed into her, but before he could say anything, she pushed against him. The move startled him, allowing her to flip him onto his back. She held his wrists down, much like he had done to her, and straddled his waist. Loki could feel his seed drop from her body onto his. Natasha leaned down, and it would take minimal effort for him to lean up and take a nipple into his mouth. She rolled her hips over him, but he wasn't quite ready to try sex again. "What is this?" he asked, curious.
"I know why you're here. I'm wondering if you do."
"Oh? You presume to know me so well?"
Now Natasha smiled, slow and sensuous, the kind of smile that promised untold pleasures, that could drive mortal men to succumb to her lure. "About this, I do. You liked what we did. You wanted me to fuck you, wanted me to take control so you wouldn't have to." There was no triumph in her eyes when Loki bared his teeth at her. "But it's not common for Asgard, is it? So you think it's dirty and shameful, and it's easier for you to hate me rather than yourself."
It was eerie how well she cut to the heart of his dilemma.
"But you're on Midgard, Loki. No need to feel that shame. It's just something else to do, just a kink."
Loki nearly snarled, but didn't shake her off. "So certain of yourself, little spider?"
"Of this? Yes." She shifted her hips, dragging her dripping slit over the soft length of his cock. "You want it as much as you deplore it, don't you? That's why you come back. That's why you're here now. You don't want to kill me, and you said it yourself: you want me broken, you want me beaten, you want me bested. Why else, unless you think I've bested you?"
Her voice was soft, lulling, cradling his mind and warring instincts. Loki shivered, teeth bared at her. It wasn't anger, but chagrin and shame. She knew, he was transparent to her, damn her eyes, and he was lost now.
Natasha leaned in a bit farther, and Loki jerked his head upward, closing his lips around one of her pert nipples. "I'll strike you a deal," she said, voice low and husky, making his traitorous cock twitch in anticipation of the filthy, wonderfully depraved things she could do to him. Shifting slightly, she let go of one hand so that she could cradle his head to her breast. "Just between us, Loki. Nothing to do with SHIELD."
He let go of her breast and used his free hand to grasp her hip. "What sort of deal?"
"You want what I can give you," she began, and he was pitifully grateful that she didn't say need. "I'm sure there are things you can do for me in return."
"Such as?" he asked archly, fingers pressing into her flesh.
"You possess magic, as you were so quick to point out."
"What need have you for magic?"
"When you visited me last week," Natasha said slowly, running her nails gently along his scalp, "I told you it was inconvenient. A spell caster had been involved, nearly killed me. I needed my rest when you arrived that night."
"Hel's mark on you saved you," Loki guessed.
"Apparently, the spell didn't stick. It slid right off of me and set the lab on fire. I burned."
Loki's hand twitched at her hip. No. She was his, dammit. No one else could harm her. "You appeared whole."
"That's the nature of Hel's gift. I heal."
"But you take damage," he guessed. "It hurt you greatly."
"Yes, it did."
His breath hissed out of his lips in displeasure at the thought. "I'm sorry, little spider."
"Are you?" she asked, no malice or sarcasm in her tone.
He dragged his hand up from her hip along her ribcage. "Yes. You're my spider. Had I known…"
"Would you have healed me? Or cheered him on?"
Chastised, Loki fell silent.
"You've said practitioners on this world mean nothing to you. Probably true, but I don't know any magic. That was nothing I've been trained for."
He recalled her mentions of training, her skills of deception, wiles and assassination. Yes, those skills would not serve her well against magic. "So on such occasions, you would like to call me."
She shifted her hips, again dragging her slit along his limp length. "I'd make it worth your while. You know I can."
"You'd whore yourself to me?"
The insult didn't anger her. "It's what you wanted from me."
"You're certain of yourself."
"You were angry, and you're not as far removed from that anger." True, it was only three days for him since he had burned her. "I can give you what you want."
"You're so certain…"
"You want me to fuck you." There was a no-nonsense tone to her voice that brooked no argument. "My rules, my way, when it doesn't interfere with my work. I tell you if you can come, if you've been good. All you have to think about is pleasing me." His cock twitched in delight at her husky voice, at the thought of her slim fingers bringing him to mind-shattering climax. She had to know his physical reaction to her words, but had no outward response yet.
"Little spider," Loki began.
Natasha pressed on the back of his head, indicating he should suckle her. "Stop talking, Loki. No thinking anymore."
Warring shame and desire flooded through him, but he did close his lips back over her breast. When she made a pleased humming noise, Loki felt inordinately pleased himself. He could do this much, he knew. He could bring her such pleasure, such satisfaction. That's what she really wanted from him. Her hawk didn't share her bed, and no one else fascinated her the way he did. Loki could give her this semblance of control, but she wouldn't break him. He wouldn't allow that again, and he wouldn't be such a wretched creature.
Though some small, fearful part of him was afraid she could do it as effortlessly as before.
She seemed content to let him suckle and knead her torso slightly. It was maddening, making Loki want to shout at her to hurry the hell up.
Loki slid his hand down to her rear, tongue still laving at her peaked nipple. Natasha let out a sigh and leaned back a little. "Other one."
"Your purpose in this?" Loki asked before shifting his head.
"A taste of what's to come."
That sent a deep thrill of anticipation through him as he clamped his mouth over her. She was dangerous and beautiful, constantly challenging him. What else did he have to occupy himself with? He could stop the pitiful excuses for magicians in this realm, earning her gratitude and ministrations upon his person.
It had nothing to do with his emotions, nothing to do with his unholy need for her.
Natasha let go of Loki's head and used that arm to brace herself over him. "I want you to fuck me with your mouth, Loki," she said, voice somewhat breathy but still commanding.
He'd had her bent over, coming as he held her, yet somehow the tables had turned. It should have mattered, but didn't. Loki wanted her desperately; she saw him, knew him better than anyone else despite their tangled relationship. Or perhaps she knew him so well because of it, he couldn't tell the difference.
Loki moved along the length of her body, mouthing the exposed skin. He liked the sound of her sighing breath, the gentle hum that meant she liked his touch. His entire world narrowed to the creamy expanse of her unmarred skin. The curled tangle of pubic hair alerted him to her dripping core, and he tasted his seed as well her musky juices. Loki grasped her ass to hold her steady as he thrust his tongue into her. Natasha's sighing was louder now, more guttural. He could feel her trembling, and he redoubled his efforts. She liked it, wanted more of it, and he wanted her to call out his name when she came.
When she did say his name, a groan that got his cock to ache and twitch, Loki sucked on her clit. She arched, hips pressing down into his face. He pleased her, he pleased her, she was coming and trembling because she liked what he was doing. "Don't stop," she gasped. "Not yet."
He licked at her, easing her down from her orgasm. Loki lapped at her juices, licking her clean without her asking. Loki made a protesting sound when she shakily lifted off of him, but Natasha shushed him. "So good," she crooned, reaching down to caress his cheek. "You can be wonderful if you choose to be," she said, moving. She closed her hand over his cock, stroking him to full hardness. "Your reward."
Loki moaned when her mouth descended over his cock, sucking at the head. Pleasure shot through his entire body, and he knew then that she was truly pleased with him. "I want," he moaned, nearly incoherent.
"You want me to fuck you?" Natasha asked, and her words sent a thrill through him. He didn't even stop to think how wrong it was, how quickly he had fallen under her spell.
He let out an incoherent moan of assent, then of disappointment when she let go of his cock. That turned into a hiss of pleasure as she sank down on him. "There's more than one way to fuck you, Loki. I can give it to you hard or soft, terrible or sensual, and you know I'll give you what you need." It was her soft, commanding voice, the one that gave him a sense of comfort in this state of mind. Loki moaned, overwhelmed by the sound of her voice and the feel of her over him. He reached up to fondle her breasts, grinning in amusement when her breath caught. "Oh, that was naughty."
Before he could ask what the penalty was, she reached down as she lifted off of him to squeeze his cock. He hissed at the sharp bolt of pain, but even that felt almost delicious and sweet.
Smirking at his groan, Natasha moved around his sprawled body to lick at the shell of his ear. "Interesting. Oh, I can have such fun with you, Loki." She scratched lightly at his chest, making him squirm and reach for her. "No. You can't touch me now. I touch you. I reward or punish you. Choose wisely."
Choose wisely.
Clever, clever mortal. His respect for her grew.
Loki grasped her sheets in his fists. "Reward me."
"Good boy," she crooned, and he nearly shuddered with joy at her words. Natasha sank down over his aching cock and began to ride him. Loki groaned at the sight of her, especially when she reached behind her to grasp his thighs for balance. "I can be so good to you," she breathed, and he wanted so much to be good for her, to please her, to make her happy.
He grunted, close to release, and she dug her fingernails into his thighs. "No," she said sharply. "I come before you do, Loki. You have to wait."
Growling with need, Loki grit his teeth and tried to hold off on his release. Natasha's breath quickened, and she was a beautiful sight to behold. "I can't," he gasped. "I can't hold on…"
"Wait," she commanded. He struggled to comply, but couldn't. He came with a soft cry of dismay, knowing he would be seen as bad.
Natasha heaved a dramatic sigh. "Well, now I'm going to have to punish you," she purred.
Loki thrummed with anticipation as Natasha slid off of him and pulled him into position. She set herself over his mouth and grasped the headboard with both hands. "No magic, no hands. Just your mouth, and you keep going until I tell you to stop."
"Hardly punishment," Loki drawled, grinning up at her. He hissed when she reached down to yank on his hair sharply.
"You'd better start," she intoned, tugging again.
He did, licking into her steadily. Following the tension in her thighs and the rapid breathing, Loki brought her to orgasm and kept right on going. Natasha's breaths were high pitched, almost like squeaks, making him smile. She didn't tell him to stop, so he simply shifted locations when the tip of his tongue grew numb and sore from the constant contact. Then his jaw began to ache, but still she rode his face with no sign that she was ready to stop. His stupid body was even starting to get aroused again, aching and tired though he was. Natasha's stamina was amazing, especially when he wasn't allowed magic to augment his skills. He couldn't help but whine a bit, and she tugged sharply on his hair. This time, she didn't let go, but kept him in place and ground down into his face, her own breathing a whiny, needy sound.
Finally, she hissed and yanked on his hair, jerking his mouth away from her even as she cried "Enough, stop, stop, too much."
Though he was tempted to pursue her, his jaw ached badly and his tongue was wholly numb.
After a moment to catch her breath, Natasha gingerly moved to kneel beside Loki. Pulling him up to a seated position, she cradled him to her chest. Now her fingers soothed his scalp, especially where she had yanked on his hair. Loki could hear her erratic heartbeat and feel the slight tremor in her limbs, and there was that irrational flash of pride again. He had done that to her. He had pleasured her until she was oversensitized, until she could probably still feel his ghostly touch on her skin.
She made soft soothing sounds, and he relaxed into her embrace. "You were good, Loki," she murmured. His spirit sang with praise, the world still all soft and fuzzy about the edges. "There's a naughty streak in there, hm? We'll need to work on that."
Oh, again and again and again. The anticipation nearly choked him, for all he didn't understand it.
Natasha continued to stroke him, until shivers wracked his body and he had to clutch her tightly for some kind of balance. "What is this?" he heard himself ask, and he was horrified by the frightened tone he heard in his voice.
"Seems like you're crashing hard," Natasha murmured, holding on tightly when he tried to push her away. "This happened last time, didn't it? That's why you were so angry with me afterward. I didn't care for you enough."
That she took the blame baffled him. He had raged at her that he didn't need her, that she was a useless mortal, that he could destroy her. It never once occurred to him that she might actually accept her role in what had happened, how bereft and broken he felt.
"What's happening… There are different words for it, different ways people describe it. Subspace, usually. A state of mind where your will doesn't matter as much as the person you're with." Natasha smiled ruefully at his start of surprise. "I told you, it's not unheard of in this realm. You dropped into it so quickly, and now you're crashing out of it. I didn't know last time. I shouldn't have left you alone, not until you were ready, not until I'd helped you back."
The softer, fuzzier edges were gone. Now a sharp, ugly clarity settled over him, and he wanted to push her viciously away, pull his anger around himself like a cloak and rail at her for what she had done. But Natasha refused to budge, holding him until the quaking stopped and he no longer felt like every nerve was grating against sandpaper.
"And this?" he asked, glad to hear his voice was finally even.
What in the nine realms had just happened?
Natasha smoothed his hair back, and for an impossible moment he was reminded of Frigga, caring for him when he was ill as a child. My sweet boy, she had said, warmth in her tone and a tender smile on her face. How can we make you feel better?
Loki wanted to bury his face in the valley between her breasts and cry. He wanted to slide beneath her skin and hide in the marrow of her bones. He wanted her to bury him deep in an isolated spot and never dig him up again.
But he exhaled slowly. "Tell me of this Midgard ritual, then," he demanded.
"No ritual," Natasha replied. He could hear the smile in her voice. "Sometimes, it's good to let go, to give up control. Someone else is in charge, and you only have to follow the rules. You're safe that way, protected. And when the moment is done, you can take control again."
Her voice was soft, almost reverent. "You've done this, then?"
"Not like this, not exactly," she told him, shaking her head. No, her control was nearly absolute, too precious for her to hand over. "But I know that this is a gift, not one you give lightly."
He recoiled at her words, but she didn't let him retreat, damn her.
"Let go of me," he thundered.
"Not like this," she told him. Running her nails down his spine, she sighed when he shivered. "Almost back, but not quite."
"How do you judge that, then?" he asked, a snarling, angry edge to his voice.
"By the way you feel," she replied easily. "By how you respond to me."
She knew him, inside and out. Perhaps she didn't need a thread of insanity within her to predict him. The thought was comforting and galling at once. How dare a mortal claim to understand a god? How dare she?
Natasha ran her lips along the shell of his ear, and it still felt as if his skin was on fire. "And now you can start anew. Plan and scheme, maybe answer a few questions. This is the deal I make."
The blasted, thrice-damned deal of hers. He had nearly forgotten. Her offer was a tantalizing lure to be sure. She used herself as bait, and he was readily seeking her out.
"Yes," he heard himself say in horror. "I accept."
No, he did not accept! This peaceful languor in his body would be the death of him. She was warping him, reshaping him into something other than the god of mischief and chaos. While she claimed no such thing, she would domesticate him.
"Think about it," Natasha advised him. "Crashing from a high is never a good time to make decisions, and this has to be fair."
"Fair?" he echoed dumbly.
"You want this from me," Natasha began evenly. Oh, yes, he most certainly did. "But you also want to dominate me." Ah. Yes. That. It was rather a given that he would. "So our deal would have to cover both."
Loki couldn't fathom what she was saying at first. It was too tantalizing an offer to refuse.
Eventually, she would do this again. She would break him, chisel away defenses until he was empty. Then she would pull some of him back together, and cradle him like a child until he could rage again. And at other times, he could do the same to her, and she would accept any vicious or depraved thing he could think of.
Delicious.
"My answer is still yes," Loki replied, voice firm. The easy languor was still with him, but it was less unsettling and terrifying than before.
Natasha smiled as she kissed his cheek. "Then we have a deal."
For now, Loki had no intention of breaking it, either.
***
Natasha was starting to feel as though her suite in Avengers Tower was the place to be for wayward Asgardians. Returning from yet another SHIELD med check to assess her healing rate, she found a tall, stately woman in a gold and green gown, blonde ringlets and tasteful jewelry. She turned, a fond smile on her face. "You must be Natasha."
"Frigga, I presume," Natasha replied, approaching the goddess. The smile grew, so the woman likely wasn't here to chastise her or kill her. Even so, she didn't take off her leather jacket, which hid the holster at the small of her back. It hadn't been there for SHIELD's benefit, but her own; the medical clearance she just received meant she could be sent back into the field to hunt down more AIM labs.
"You've enchanted Loki," Frigga began without preamble, that fond smile still on her face as she looked at Natasha. "Thank you."
I didn't do it for you, Natasha almost said, but instead, she inclined her head slightly. "What makes you think he's enchanted?"
"Thor came to me on several occasions, concerned for your welfare. And then with your request to speak with Hel after a mission went badly." Frigga waited for her nod of assent. "Loki is very angry and hotheaded. He wasn't always that way. He once was…" Frigga trailed off, gaze turned inward. "Thor said you know about his true origins."
"I do. Whatever SHIELD knows, I've been informed of." Not to mention whatever things she had been able to glean for herself along the way.
"Odin thought to avert war. I thought to have a son." There was fierce undercurrent to her tone, pain and pride all rolled into one. Natasha recognized it well, given how often Loki used it. "I lost a child not long before that battle." Her voice was brittle, pained. "I didn't agree with my husband for the sake of his plans for peace, whatever they may have been. I agreed because Loki was an infant abandoned, and I longed for a child. I saw him that day, and I loved him. Instantly, without a thought, without regrets. I brought him into my heart, suckled him, named him, raised him as my son. I taught him magic, the ways of seidr and walking Yggdrasil. I watched him grow, and I watched his heart break too many times, unable to do a thing to stop it."
"You're the Queen."
"And in our world, my place is not to countermand Odin's orders." Her lips quirked slightly when Natasha gave her a questioning glance. "Not openly."
"So why do you think he's… enchanted?"
"You preoccupy him. You fascinate him." Frigga's gaze on her was soft. "He can forget some of his rage with you. Natasha, you have no idea how I longed for that to happen."
She let out a breath. "Being on the receiving end of it, I can imagine."
"You're a match for him. I think that's what he needs."
"How can you tell?"
"You went to see Hel," Frigga said simply, spreading her hands. "Willingly, to talk to her, not to plead for riches or for your life, but the souls of innocents you could not save. This concept has been foreign to Loki for some time. I don't think he understands that anymore."
Do you really believe there are innocents?
"You don't believe me?" Frigga asked, eyebrows raised. "He hasn't been challenged in a very long time, Natasha, and you do that for him."
"That I can definitely do," Natasha agreed. "I wouldn't say I was afraid of him at first. I held a lot more caution, though."
"What changed?"
"I understood what I was dealing with. There's a fair amount of instability, so he's unpredictable. But all of that aside, I know what I'm dealing with. I may be concerned, but I'm not afraid anymore."
"Hel's gift likely helps," Frigga commented with a smile.
"Well, he did burn me when he was angry."
Frigga looked upset at that news. "Thor didn't tell me-"
"I didn't tell Thor. It would upset him. He was angry enough with Loki for trying to turn everyone on the team against me. It wasn't very difficult to do with the World Council. They didn't like me very much, anyway," she added for Frigga's benefit.
She sighed. "I was disappointed to hear of his betrayal of you. I had hoped for more, that he had found a place he could feel whole… We all had such hopes that he would do well. Your point to Thor was accurate. Containing him would never work, but working with him is helpful."
Natasha rather doubted that Frigga would want to hear the details of deal she had just struck with Loki. "He has to be motivated enough for it to work."
"I suppose we've never quite figured out what would motivate Loki enough. For a long time it was simply to learn, to excel. But then he drew away from me, and I thought he was close to Thor. It seemed that way for a long time." Her smile was tinged with sadness. "It appears that things changed and we never knew it."
Natasha nodded, remembering her conversation with Thor about "imagined slights." Frigga would never have known about it; from what she understood, parents were always the last to know about sibling rivalries of that magnitude.
Whatever Frigga would have said next was interrupted by the arrival of Loki, who materialized on Natasha's left, in the corner of the room. He blinked when he saw Frigga, but otherwise showed no surprise. "Slumming it with the mortals?" he asked, a snide undertone to his voice.
Frigga's smile was frozen in place. "Loki. You look well."
"No thanks to the Allfather," he replied, a manic-looking smile on his face. Natasha could see the tightness in his eyes and the way he stood at attention.
She looked to the portal behind him. "There are places to go," she said softly with a hint of a smile on her lips, eyes flicking to the hideaway behind him. Natasha could see that the riotous mess was gone. "You've learned quite a bit of that over the years."
"Why are you here, Frigga?" he asked, voice soft yet cutting.
The Queen didn't move, still holding her regal posture, but Natasha could see her fingers twitch slightly. "You are my son, Loki."
"I was stolen."
"You are my son," Frigga repeated. "I could not intervene, and the presence of Asgard angers you. But I hoped to hear how you fared."
"Through a mortal."
"Through a friend," Frigga corrected, looking at Loki pointedly. "One you abused most grievously, one it does not appear you have tried to ask forgiveness from."
Loki snorted, shaking his head. "You have no idea what you're talking about."
Frigga stepped forward, hands open at her sides. "Perhaps. Your thoughts are not mine, your actions shrouded from view. But you are alone, my son, when you do not have to be."
Natasha intervened before he could do more than pull his lips back in a snarl of rage. His rage is less with you, Frigga had just said. Loki looked at her hand pulling on his arm, the same angry expression on his face, and she looked back at him with her smooth, unconcerned face. "Give your mother a hug and she'll go, Loki."
"You cannot command me!"
"I don't think you'd want to discuss the details of our deal in front of her." Natasha lofted an eyebrow at him, and he flushed. "Didn't think so."
Visibly overjoyed when Loki stiffly nodded at her, Frigga swept him up in a tight embrace. "You are my son," she whispered into his hair. "No matter the origins, no matter what anyone says to you. You are my son."
For a moment, it almost seemed as though Loki mouthed "mother" against her neck, but he remained silent. He stepped back immediately when Frigga let go of him, his face an expressionless mask that mirrored Natasha's. She could see that Frigga's eyes were glistening when she looked her, and the queen mouthed "thank you" before disappearing in a shimmering green haze.
It was silent for exactly five seconds after the haze dissipated. Then Loki rounded on Natasha, fist raised and eyes flashing with rage. "You cannot command me!"
"She loves you," Natasha replied simply, not backing down. "For better or for worse, no matter what heinous things you've done, she loves you."
Loki flinched and let his fist drop. "You've said love is for children."
"It is. You're her child."
He turned away from her bland tone, and she heard a hitch in his breath. It was likely that no one else in the entire universe would ever hear it. There was something like trust between them at this point, though Natasha didn't think it could be easily named.
"I am not of her blood. I was stolen. You know this."
"You can choose to accept her or not. She's already chosen you."
He turned to face her, composed and still again. "I did not come here to speak of her to you."
"So why did you come here?"
"As you said, our bargain."
"So speak."
In the pause, Natasha finally took off her jacket, moving to hang it up carefully in the front closet of her suite. Putting her back to Loki, she knew he could see the holster at the small of her back, but he didn't comment on it. They both knew bullets would be useless if he used his magic to block them. It was the principle of the thing, she supposed.
"You have said I should have time to think on our bargain," he said when she turned around.
"Do you regret accepting?" Natasha asked, voice neutral. Her gut churned; if he refused it now, what other hold would she have over him?
"No." His eyes didn't leave hers, and she wondered what he was thinking. "I do not regret it, do not renege on our bargain. But you did not wholly explain terms."
"That wasn't a good time to hammer them out."
He winced slightly, just a twitch in the corner of his eyes and mouth. She wondered if it was because it referenced his subdrop or because of the word "hammer." He still didn't care for Thor, and was probably only here because Thor was in Asgard.
"No, there was not. I wish to rectify that."
"Fine. What are your requirements?" she asked formally, starting to remove her holster. His eyes tracked the movement, tongue at the corner of his mouth. He was fascinated with her, and she could probably use that somehow.
He still owed her, after all. He owed her a lot.
"You said it would cover your domination of my person as well as mine over yours." She nodded, expression solemn. He seemed to have difficulty getting the words out. "My first requirement is that the others aren't to know. Your superiors aren't to discuss this."
"It's none of their business. This isn't a job."
A corner of Loki's lips quirked, and he looked almost pleased by that remark. "So what is it?"
"What's what?"
"This bargain of yours? What is it, if it isn't a job given to you?"
Containment. Damage control.
She said neither, but approached him slowly and put a hand on his chest. "Don't you want to know what this is?" His eyes dragged across her face slowly, as if trying to discover what underhanded thing she was about to do next. Good. "I do," she purred, lips quirked slightly.
There was a slight flare in his nostrils, and he gently rested his hand over hers. "Perhaps."
"No perhaps about it," she said with a smile. "What are your other requirements?"
Loki's lips parted; perhaps he had forgotten about the other requirements with her contact? That was flattering, but Natasha doubted that was the reason. "Would you always need… tools?" he asked after a moment.
"If the moment required it," she replied, no inflection in her tone. "I didn't use any last time."
His eyes closed for the briefest of moments, more like a slow blink, and he nodded. "That is acceptable. I have magic to rely on when it is my turn."
Considering he really didn't know what he was getting himself into, Natasha nodded at him and decided to prod him in a more useful direction. "How do you feel about bodily fluids? I assume blood is okay, given the fact that you've cut me and seemed to enjoy that. How about harm? Pain? Humiliation sometimes comes with servitude, but is that acceptable also?"
He was very still, especially with the word humiliation. "I am a god." He may have wanted to go for menacing or forceful, but it came out as a statement of fact.
"Yes. And within the confines of the scene, what are you comfortable with?"
That very obviously threw him, and his brows furrowed for a moment. "What has occurred already between us," he said slowly. "Anything further must be determined over time."
"Fair," Natasha agreed with a polite smile. She slid her hand down his chest and out from beneath his hand. "I have files to catch up on…"
"I wish to begin now."
Natasha lifted one eyebrow in surprise. "Oh? And if this is not a convenient time for me? I had said that this arrangement can't interfere with my work. Unlike you, I don't come and go as I please, exactly. I still have duties to see to."
He didn't respond to the edge in her tone. "I could manipulate time," he suggested, giving her a charming smile.
She suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. Men. "That's not the point. It would be best to have a prearranged time and place. Scheduled, so that I make sure there are no conflicts in my interests, and you can make sure to be there on time."
"Somewhere you can travel, of course. You have no working of seidr." He still had on his charming smile, but Natasha could see the strain he was under to maintain that and not simply command her. Good boy, she thought. You can be trained after all.
"I've let go of the apartment downtown," she said, reaching for her tablet. "It was compromised," she added when he gave her a curious look.
"By me."
"By you," she confirmed with a sharp nod. "So I'll need to find somewhere new. I'll have to let you know when I find a good location."
"Surely you have alternatives."
"None appropriate for you," she said blandly, flicking the switch for her tablet. "I'll need some way to contact you, of course."
Loki grabbed her arm in a tight grip sure to leave bruises later. "I will give you spells. There is no preparation necessary. You have done your work here, after all."
Letting out a sigh of exasperation, Natasha peeled his fingers from her arm. "If you're that desperate to start, then take your clothes off."
It clearly startled him. "What?"
"If this happens now, take off your clothes. Now. I have shit to do, and you're not on my list."
He responded to the irritated edge in her tone, peeling off the layers of antiquated clothing quickly. Eyes locked to her indifferent expression, he stood bare before her, then snapped his fingers almost as an afterthought. Natasha could feel the snap and settling of magic around here, likely the spell that would seal off the room to outsiders. "Little spider-"
"Don't." Her voice was soft, but he reacted as if struck. "This isn't a time to play cute or coy, Loki. You do as I say, or you can leave. Those are your options. Choose wisely."
Expression shuttered, he nodded sharply. "Very well, then. That would be your condition."
"Your choice?"
Natasha believed he was baffled by her indifference, much as he had been on several occasions before his breakdown. You don't respond the way I think you will. Why is that?
"I will concede to your wishes," he said finally. His hands were curled into loose fists at his side. Not angry yet, then, but he would be very soon.
She moved to her sofa and sat down. Snapping her fingers, she pointed to the floor in front of her. "Hands and knees on the floor. Now."
Confused, Loki did as she said, and Natasha put her feet up, boots resting along his spine. Her login screen was already on, so she logged into her SHIELD portal to pull up the files she would need to reacquaint herself with. He made a discomfited noise, as if to protest being treated as a footstool. Natasha lifted one heel an inch and brought it down swiftly, making him grunt in pain. "Conceding to my wishes means doing what I tell you. Right now, this is what I want from you. Understood?"
Loki let out a slow breath, obviously trying to keep his temper in check. "Understood," he finally said, letting his eyes shut.
Oh, she would likely pay for this later. But a deal was a deal, and he was complying for the moment. She would deal with consequences when they came. In the meantime, she had actual work to do.
***
***
To chapter three - Choose Wisely
Series: #6 in Ready For The Siege
(#1 - Look Over Your Shoulder, #2 - Armed Up To The Teeth, #3 - Misery Inspires, #4 - Broken Underneath, #5 - Change Is Coming Soon)
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Loki/Natasha
Disclaimer: Not mine! Dubcon, violence, dom/sub dynamics, aftercare, and a lot of emotional manipulation ahead! Some comic backstory is incorporated into characterizations, but this is still primarily movieverse.
Spoilers/Warnings: Post-movie. Read the other stories before this one, because it does refer back to some events in them, especially #4 and #5.
Title and series title from "The Royal We" by Silversun Pickups
Summary: Loki is angry. However, he doesn't react in quite the way that anyone else had thought he would, least of all himself.
Prior chapter:
One - Unexpected Return
Two - Striking A Bargain
Now that he knew the layout of her rooms at Avengers Tower, the next time Loki appeared in Natasha's quarters, he materialized in the path of her roll across the bed to her weapons and immediately put up the protective spells to keep the others out. He pinned her down with his magic before she was fully awake, his teeth bared in a grimace of a smile. "Were you having lovely dreams, dear spider?"
Loki grasped her wrists and pulled her arms behind her, nudging her limbs so that she was kneeling away from him, face and chest pressed against the bed. A sharp yank on her arms pulled her torso up and off the bed a bit. His cock twitched, a deep ache starting to fill him at the thought of sliding into her body. He wanted her so badly he could taste it, and he didn't want to examine that desire too closely. The wanting was too close to need, and his sense of self shied away from needing anyone that way.
"What do you want?" Natasha asked, voice even. It made him grit his teeth. He wanted to see something from her, something real.
Their clothes disappeared with a thought. "You liked this," he told her, voice tight. "When I held you bound, your breath under my control, my fingers in your quim." She wasn't what he thought she was then, though she still defied his understanding. "You want me to take you. To control you. You want to find someone capable of besting you."
"If I did, that someone still isn't you."
Her words angered him, but he couldn't help but think that it was a calculated barb. She wanted to wound him, to make him react without thinking while she kept her cool. Well, he knew how to shatter her control.
A thought had her slicked and lubricated, the only warning Natasha got before he entered her in a single thrust. She made a soft sound that was a strangled mix of pleasure and anger. "I didn't say you could fuck me."
"You didn't say I couldn't."
"I shouldn't have to," she snarled, turning her head enough to see him out of the corner of her eye. "You are many things, but not a rapist."
Loki pulled on her arms, making her arch her back like a bow. "Tell me you don't want this, and I'll leave your bed," he told her. He was being as honest as he knew how to be; this was meant to be a seduction, a way to taunt and lure her back to his side, a reminder that she truly wanted him and not the braying mortals she considered comrades.
Natasha was silent, though her lips were compressed tightly together.
"You want this," Loki said, looking at her. There was no victory in his voice, though his soul sang with delight. "You want to feel my power, you want me inside of you, but you can't let your precious team know of this. You need it, don't you? They don't fascinate you like I do."
Drawing in a slow breath, Natasha still glared at him. "You're very sure of yourself."
"And you still haven't told me no."
Another breath, and then Natasha turned her face away from Loki. "I'm not telling you no. I want you to fuck me."
Loki's lips spread into a wide, pleased grin. Yes, he had this moment of power and pleasure rolled into one, he had her beneath him, tight and wet around his cock. He drew back slowly, then slammed himself back to the hilt. Natasha groaned in pleasure, the movement rocking her forward, dragging her nipples against the sheets. Loki moved at a punishing pace, unable to stop grinning. She was twitching and moaning, head thrown back. Back still drawn like a bow, the sound of her moans shot straight to his groin. He had to close his eyes to maintain his composure, and even then he still wanted to come inside her. She pulled against his hands, as if she could actually wrench herself from his grip, and he could feel her inner walls fluttering around his cock. It felt so good that Loki bit his lip hard enough to bleed to keep from coming right then. Natasha let out a long groan when she tightened and came, meaning Loki didn't have to hold back any longer. He spilled into her depths with a strangled groan of his own.
Letting go of her wrists, Loki watched her collapse onto her bed. His softened cock slipped out of her wet sheath, and he wanted to sprawl out on top of her body. She didn't move to cover herself from his view or clean his seed from her thighs. It was a completely irrational sense of pride that came over him, but he didn't question it too closely. Instead, he stroked her spine gently and leaned over her to whisper in her ear. "You belong to me, little spider." Another stroke along her spine, and his possessive instinct intensified. No one else could have her, no else should touch her like this.
"Unless you want me to fuck you again. You enjoyed that." Natasha lazily turned around beneath him, his hand falling to the valley between her breasts. "I could make you come, give you that peace where even you stop thinking for a moment."
A hot spike of shame and want flooded him. "I don't need you."
"Then why else are you here?" she asked evenly. Natasha grasped his soft, slick cock in her hand, tugging gently. "No one else can give you what I can, can they?"
No, they couldn't. But he didn't want to tell her that, didn't want to give her even a thread of power over him. It was bad enough he did want her dominating him, did want her cradling him and giving him that moment of perfect peace and safety.
There was a moment where she almost seemed to smile at him. "I want that for you, Loki. And I think you want that, too. That's why you come back, but you can't bring yourself to ask me."
"I don't need you," he repeated, but it sounded weak to his own ears. He had no idea what he sounded like to her.
"So why are you here?" she asked him evenly, no inflection in her tone.
"Does it matter to you?" he returned, his grin more like a grimace. She was opaque to him again, which was maddening. Loki knew it was his fault, but he would never accept blame if she gave it to him. He leaned into her until the ends of his hair brushed her cheek. The curls suited her, softening the rather severe look she was giving him. "Had you spent hours pondering the import of my visitation?"
"You'd like it if I did."
She was being deliberately vague, and it sent an irrational spike of anger through him. Others should get that treatment from her, not him. Loki pressed into her, but before he could say anything, she pushed against him. The move startled him, allowing her to flip him onto his back. She held his wrists down, much like he had done to her, and straddled his waist. Loki could feel his seed drop from her body onto his. Natasha leaned down, and it would take minimal effort for him to lean up and take a nipple into his mouth. She rolled her hips over him, but he wasn't quite ready to try sex again. "What is this?" he asked, curious.
"I know why you're here. I'm wondering if you do."
"Oh? You presume to know me so well?"
Now Natasha smiled, slow and sensuous, the kind of smile that promised untold pleasures, that could drive mortal men to succumb to her lure. "About this, I do. You liked what we did. You wanted me to fuck you, wanted me to take control so you wouldn't have to." There was no triumph in her eyes when Loki bared his teeth at her. "But it's not common for Asgard, is it? So you think it's dirty and shameful, and it's easier for you to hate me rather than yourself."
It was eerie how well she cut to the heart of his dilemma.
"But you're on Midgard, Loki. No need to feel that shame. It's just something else to do, just a kink."
Loki nearly snarled, but didn't shake her off. "So certain of yourself, little spider?"
"Of this? Yes." She shifted her hips, dragging her dripping slit over the soft length of his cock. "You want it as much as you deplore it, don't you? That's why you come back. That's why you're here now. You don't want to kill me, and you said it yourself: you want me broken, you want me beaten, you want me bested. Why else, unless you think I've bested you?"
Her voice was soft, lulling, cradling his mind and warring instincts. Loki shivered, teeth bared at her. It wasn't anger, but chagrin and shame. She knew, he was transparent to her, damn her eyes, and he was lost now.
Natasha leaned in a bit farther, and Loki jerked his head upward, closing his lips around one of her pert nipples. "I'll strike you a deal," she said, voice low and husky, making his traitorous cock twitch in anticipation of the filthy, wonderfully depraved things she could do to him. Shifting slightly, she let go of one hand so that she could cradle his head to her breast. "Just between us, Loki. Nothing to do with SHIELD."
He let go of her breast and used his free hand to grasp her hip. "What sort of deal?"
"You want what I can give you," she began, and he was pitifully grateful that she didn't say need. "I'm sure there are things you can do for me in return."
"Such as?" he asked archly, fingers pressing into her flesh.
"You possess magic, as you were so quick to point out."
"What need have you for magic?"
"When you visited me last week," Natasha said slowly, running her nails gently along his scalp, "I told you it was inconvenient. A spell caster had been involved, nearly killed me. I needed my rest when you arrived that night."
"Hel's mark on you saved you," Loki guessed.
"Apparently, the spell didn't stick. It slid right off of me and set the lab on fire. I burned."
Loki's hand twitched at her hip. No. She was his, dammit. No one else could harm her. "You appeared whole."
"That's the nature of Hel's gift. I heal."
"But you take damage," he guessed. "It hurt you greatly."
"Yes, it did."
His breath hissed out of his lips in displeasure at the thought. "I'm sorry, little spider."
"Are you?" she asked, no malice or sarcasm in her tone.
He dragged his hand up from her hip along her ribcage. "Yes. You're my spider. Had I known…"
"Would you have healed me? Or cheered him on?"
Chastised, Loki fell silent.
"You've said practitioners on this world mean nothing to you. Probably true, but I don't know any magic. That was nothing I've been trained for."
He recalled her mentions of training, her skills of deception, wiles and assassination. Yes, those skills would not serve her well against magic. "So on such occasions, you would like to call me."
She shifted her hips, again dragging her slit along his limp length. "I'd make it worth your while. You know I can."
"You'd whore yourself to me?"
The insult didn't anger her. "It's what you wanted from me."
"You're certain of yourself."
"You were angry, and you're not as far removed from that anger." True, it was only three days for him since he had burned her. "I can give you what you want."
"You're so certain…"
"You want me to fuck you." There was a no-nonsense tone to her voice that brooked no argument. "My rules, my way, when it doesn't interfere with my work. I tell you if you can come, if you've been good. All you have to think about is pleasing me." His cock twitched in delight at her husky voice, at the thought of her slim fingers bringing him to mind-shattering climax. She had to know his physical reaction to her words, but had no outward response yet.
"Little spider," Loki began.
Natasha pressed on the back of his head, indicating he should suckle her. "Stop talking, Loki. No thinking anymore."
Warring shame and desire flooded through him, but he did close his lips back over her breast. When she made a pleased humming noise, Loki felt inordinately pleased himself. He could do this much, he knew. He could bring her such pleasure, such satisfaction. That's what she really wanted from him. Her hawk didn't share her bed, and no one else fascinated her the way he did. Loki could give her this semblance of control, but she wouldn't break him. He wouldn't allow that again, and he wouldn't be such a wretched creature.
Though some small, fearful part of him was afraid she could do it as effortlessly as before.
She seemed content to let him suckle and knead her torso slightly. It was maddening, making Loki want to shout at her to hurry the hell up.
Loki slid his hand down to her rear, tongue still laving at her peaked nipple. Natasha let out a sigh and leaned back a little. "Other one."
"Your purpose in this?" Loki asked before shifting his head.
"A taste of what's to come."
That sent a deep thrill of anticipation through him as he clamped his mouth over her. She was dangerous and beautiful, constantly challenging him. What else did he have to occupy himself with? He could stop the pitiful excuses for magicians in this realm, earning her gratitude and ministrations upon his person.
It had nothing to do with his emotions, nothing to do with his unholy need for her.
Natasha let go of Loki's head and used that arm to brace herself over him. "I want you to fuck me with your mouth, Loki," she said, voice somewhat breathy but still commanding.
He'd had her bent over, coming as he held her, yet somehow the tables had turned. It should have mattered, but didn't. Loki wanted her desperately; she saw him, knew him better than anyone else despite their tangled relationship. Or perhaps she knew him so well because of it, he couldn't tell the difference.
Loki moved along the length of her body, mouthing the exposed skin. He liked the sound of her sighing breath, the gentle hum that meant she liked his touch. His entire world narrowed to the creamy expanse of her unmarred skin. The curled tangle of pubic hair alerted him to her dripping core, and he tasted his seed as well her musky juices. Loki grasped her ass to hold her steady as he thrust his tongue into her. Natasha's sighing was louder now, more guttural. He could feel her trembling, and he redoubled his efforts. She liked it, wanted more of it, and he wanted her to call out his name when she came.
When she did say his name, a groan that got his cock to ache and twitch, Loki sucked on her clit. She arched, hips pressing down into his face. He pleased her, he pleased her, she was coming and trembling because she liked what he was doing. "Don't stop," she gasped. "Not yet."
He licked at her, easing her down from her orgasm. Loki lapped at her juices, licking her clean without her asking. Loki made a protesting sound when she shakily lifted off of him, but Natasha shushed him. "So good," she crooned, reaching down to caress his cheek. "You can be wonderful if you choose to be," she said, moving. She closed her hand over his cock, stroking him to full hardness. "Your reward."
Loki moaned when her mouth descended over his cock, sucking at the head. Pleasure shot through his entire body, and he knew then that she was truly pleased with him. "I want," he moaned, nearly incoherent.
"You want me to fuck you?" Natasha asked, and her words sent a thrill through him. He didn't even stop to think how wrong it was, how quickly he had fallen under her spell.
He let out an incoherent moan of assent, then of disappointment when she let go of his cock. That turned into a hiss of pleasure as she sank down on him. "There's more than one way to fuck you, Loki. I can give it to you hard or soft, terrible or sensual, and you know I'll give you what you need." It was her soft, commanding voice, the one that gave him a sense of comfort in this state of mind. Loki moaned, overwhelmed by the sound of her voice and the feel of her over him. He reached up to fondle her breasts, grinning in amusement when her breath caught. "Oh, that was naughty."
Before he could ask what the penalty was, she reached down as she lifted off of him to squeeze his cock. He hissed at the sharp bolt of pain, but even that felt almost delicious and sweet.
Smirking at his groan, Natasha moved around his sprawled body to lick at the shell of his ear. "Interesting. Oh, I can have such fun with you, Loki." She scratched lightly at his chest, making him squirm and reach for her. "No. You can't touch me now. I touch you. I reward or punish you. Choose wisely."
Choose wisely.
Clever, clever mortal. His respect for her grew.
Loki grasped her sheets in his fists. "Reward me."
"Good boy," she crooned, and he nearly shuddered with joy at her words. Natasha sank down over his aching cock and began to ride him. Loki groaned at the sight of her, especially when she reached behind her to grasp his thighs for balance. "I can be so good to you," she breathed, and he wanted so much to be good for her, to please her, to make her happy.
He grunted, close to release, and she dug her fingernails into his thighs. "No," she said sharply. "I come before you do, Loki. You have to wait."
Growling with need, Loki grit his teeth and tried to hold off on his release. Natasha's breath quickened, and she was a beautiful sight to behold. "I can't," he gasped. "I can't hold on…"
"Wait," she commanded. He struggled to comply, but couldn't. He came with a soft cry of dismay, knowing he would be seen as bad.
Natasha heaved a dramatic sigh. "Well, now I'm going to have to punish you," she purred.
Loki thrummed with anticipation as Natasha slid off of him and pulled him into position. She set herself over his mouth and grasped the headboard with both hands. "No magic, no hands. Just your mouth, and you keep going until I tell you to stop."
"Hardly punishment," Loki drawled, grinning up at her. He hissed when she reached down to yank on his hair sharply.
"You'd better start," she intoned, tugging again.
He did, licking into her steadily. Following the tension in her thighs and the rapid breathing, Loki brought her to orgasm and kept right on going. Natasha's breaths were high pitched, almost like squeaks, making him smile. She didn't tell him to stop, so he simply shifted locations when the tip of his tongue grew numb and sore from the constant contact. Then his jaw began to ache, but still she rode his face with no sign that she was ready to stop. His stupid body was even starting to get aroused again, aching and tired though he was. Natasha's stamina was amazing, especially when he wasn't allowed magic to augment his skills. He couldn't help but whine a bit, and she tugged sharply on his hair. This time, she didn't let go, but kept him in place and ground down into his face, her own breathing a whiny, needy sound.
Finally, she hissed and yanked on his hair, jerking his mouth away from her even as she cried "Enough, stop, stop, too much."
Though he was tempted to pursue her, his jaw ached badly and his tongue was wholly numb.
After a moment to catch her breath, Natasha gingerly moved to kneel beside Loki. Pulling him up to a seated position, she cradled him to her chest. Now her fingers soothed his scalp, especially where she had yanked on his hair. Loki could hear her erratic heartbeat and feel the slight tremor in her limbs, and there was that irrational flash of pride again. He had done that to her. He had pleasured her until she was oversensitized, until she could probably still feel his ghostly touch on her skin.
She made soft soothing sounds, and he relaxed into her embrace. "You were good, Loki," she murmured. His spirit sang with praise, the world still all soft and fuzzy about the edges. "There's a naughty streak in there, hm? We'll need to work on that."
Oh, again and again and again. The anticipation nearly choked him, for all he didn't understand it.
Natasha continued to stroke him, until shivers wracked his body and he had to clutch her tightly for some kind of balance. "What is this?" he heard himself ask, and he was horrified by the frightened tone he heard in his voice.
"Seems like you're crashing hard," Natasha murmured, holding on tightly when he tried to push her away. "This happened last time, didn't it? That's why you were so angry with me afterward. I didn't care for you enough."
That she took the blame baffled him. He had raged at her that he didn't need her, that she was a useless mortal, that he could destroy her. It never once occurred to him that she might actually accept her role in what had happened, how bereft and broken he felt.
"What's happening… There are different words for it, different ways people describe it. Subspace, usually. A state of mind where your will doesn't matter as much as the person you're with." Natasha smiled ruefully at his start of surprise. "I told you, it's not unheard of in this realm. You dropped into it so quickly, and now you're crashing out of it. I didn't know last time. I shouldn't have left you alone, not until you were ready, not until I'd helped you back."
The softer, fuzzier edges were gone. Now a sharp, ugly clarity settled over him, and he wanted to push her viciously away, pull his anger around himself like a cloak and rail at her for what she had done. But Natasha refused to budge, holding him until the quaking stopped and he no longer felt like every nerve was grating against sandpaper.
"And this?" he asked, glad to hear his voice was finally even.
What in the nine realms had just happened?
Natasha smoothed his hair back, and for an impossible moment he was reminded of Frigga, caring for him when he was ill as a child. My sweet boy, she had said, warmth in her tone and a tender smile on her face. How can we make you feel better?
Loki wanted to bury his face in the valley between her breasts and cry. He wanted to slide beneath her skin and hide in the marrow of her bones. He wanted her to bury him deep in an isolated spot and never dig him up again.
But he exhaled slowly. "Tell me of this Midgard ritual, then," he demanded.
"No ritual," Natasha replied. He could hear the smile in her voice. "Sometimes, it's good to let go, to give up control. Someone else is in charge, and you only have to follow the rules. You're safe that way, protected. And when the moment is done, you can take control again."
Her voice was soft, almost reverent. "You've done this, then?"
"Not like this, not exactly," she told him, shaking her head. No, her control was nearly absolute, too precious for her to hand over. "But I know that this is a gift, not one you give lightly."
He recoiled at her words, but she didn't let him retreat, damn her.
"Let go of me," he thundered.
"Not like this," she told him. Running her nails down his spine, she sighed when he shivered. "Almost back, but not quite."
"How do you judge that, then?" he asked, a snarling, angry edge to his voice.
"By the way you feel," she replied easily. "By how you respond to me."
She knew him, inside and out. Perhaps she didn't need a thread of insanity within her to predict him. The thought was comforting and galling at once. How dare a mortal claim to understand a god? How dare she?
Natasha ran her lips along the shell of his ear, and it still felt as if his skin was on fire. "And now you can start anew. Plan and scheme, maybe answer a few questions. This is the deal I make."
The blasted, thrice-damned deal of hers. He had nearly forgotten. Her offer was a tantalizing lure to be sure. She used herself as bait, and he was readily seeking her out.
"Yes," he heard himself say in horror. "I accept."
No, he did not accept! This peaceful languor in his body would be the death of him. She was warping him, reshaping him into something other than the god of mischief and chaos. While she claimed no such thing, she would domesticate him.
"Think about it," Natasha advised him. "Crashing from a high is never a good time to make decisions, and this has to be fair."
"Fair?" he echoed dumbly.
"You want this from me," Natasha began evenly. Oh, yes, he most certainly did. "But you also want to dominate me." Ah. Yes. That. It was rather a given that he would. "So our deal would have to cover both."
Loki couldn't fathom what she was saying at first. It was too tantalizing an offer to refuse.
Eventually, she would do this again. She would break him, chisel away defenses until he was empty. Then she would pull some of him back together, and cradle him like a child until he could rage again. And at other times, he could do the same to her, and she would accept any vicious or depraved thing he could think of.
Delicious.
"My answer is still yes," Loki replied, voice firm. The easy languor was still with him, but it was less unsettling and terrifying than before.
Natasha smiled as she kissed his cheek. "Then we have a deal."
For now, Loki had no intention of breaking it, either.
***
Natasha was starting to feel as though her suite in Avengers Tower was the place to be for wayward Asgardians. Returning from yet another SHIELD med check to assess her healing rate, she found a tall, stately woman in a gold and green gown, blonde ringlets and tasteful jewelry. She turned, a fond smile on her face. "You must be Natasha."
"Frigga, I presume," Natasha replied, approaching the goddess. The smile grew, so the woman likely wasn't here to chastise her or kill her. Even so, she didn't take off her leather jacket, which hid the holster at the small of her back. It hadn't been there for SHIELD's benefit, but her own; the medical clearance she just received meant she could be sent back into the field to hunt down more AIM labs.
"You've enchanted Loki," Frigga began without preamble, that fond smile still on her face as she looked at Natasha. "Thank you."
I didn't do it for you, Natasha almost said, but instead, she inclined her head slightly. "What makes you think he's enchanted?"
"Thor came to me on several occasions, concerned for your welfare. And then with your request to speak with Hel after a mission went badly." Frigga waited for her nod of assent. "Loki is very angry and hotheaded. He wasn't always that way. He once was…" Frigga trailed off, gaze turned inward. "Thor said you know about his true origins."
"I do. Whatever SHIELD knows, I've been informed of." Not to mention whatever things she had been able to glean for herself along the way.
"Odin thought to avert war. I thought to have a son." There was fierce undercurrent to her tone, pain and pride all rolled into one. Natasha recognized it well, given how often Loki used it. "I lost a child not long before that battle." Her voice was brittle, pained. "I didn't agree with my husband for the sake of his plans for peace, whatever they may have been. I agreed because Loki was an infant abandoned, and I longed for a child. I saw him that day, and I loved him. Instantly, without a thought, without regrets. I brought him into my heart, suckled him, named him, raised him as my son. I taught him magic, the ways of seidr and walking Yggdrasil. I watched him grow, and I watched his heart break too many times, unable to do a thing to stop it."
"You're the Queen."
"And in our world, my place is not to countermand Odin's orders." Her lips quirked slightly when Natasha gave her a questioning glance. "Not openly."
"So why do you think he's… enchanted?"
"You preoccupy him. You fascinate him." Frigga's gaze on her was soft. "He can forget some of his rage with you. Natasha, you have no idea how I longed for that to happen."
She let out a breath. "Being on the receiving end of it, I can imagine."
"You're a match for him. I think that's what he needs."
"How can you tell?"
"You went to see Hel," Frigga said simply, spreading her hands. "Willingly, to talk to her, not to plead for riches or for your life, but the souls of innocents you could not save. This concept has been foreign to Loki for some time. I don't think he understands that anymore."
Do you really believe there are innocents?
"You don't believe me?" Frigga asked, eyebrows raised. "He hasn't been challenged in a very long time, Natasha, and you do that for him."
"That I can definitely do," Natasha agreed. "I wouldn't say I was afraid of him at first. I held a lot more caution, though."
"What changed?"
"I understood what I was dealing with. There's a fair amount of instability, so he's unpredictable. But all of that aside, I know what I'm dealing with. I may be concerned, but I'm not afraid anymore."
"Hel's gift likely helps," Frigga commented with a smile.
"Well, he did burn me when he was angry."
Frigga looked upset at that news. "Thor didn't tell me-"
"I didn't tell Thor. It would upset him. He was angry enough with Loki for trying to turn everyone on the team against me. It wasn't very difficult to do with the World Council. They didn't like me very much, anyway," she added for Frigga's benefit.
She sighed. "I was disappointed to hear of his betrayal of you. I had hoped for more, that he had found a place he could feel whole… We all had such hopes that he would do well. Your point to Thor was accurate. Containing him would never work, but working with him is helpful."
Natasha rather doubted that Frigga would want to hear the details of deal she had just struck with Loki. "He has to be motivated enough for it to work."
"I suppose we've never quite figured out what would motivate Loki enough. For a long time it was simply to learn, to excel. But then he drew away from me, and I thought he was close to Thor. It seemed that way for a long time." Her smile was tinged with sadness. "It appears that things changed and we never knew it."
Natasha nodded, remembering her conversation with Thor about "imagined slights." Frigga would never have known about it; from what she understood, parents were always the last to know about sibling rivalries of that magnitude.
Whatever Frigga would have said next was interrupted by the arrival of Loki, who materialized on Natasha's left, in the corner of the room. He blinked when he saw Frigga, but otherwise showed no surprise. "Slumming it with the mortals?" he asked, a snide undertone to his voice.
Frigga's smile was frozen in place. "Loki. You look well."
"No thanks to the Allfather," he replied, a manic-looking smile on his face. Natasha could see the tightness in his eyes and the way he stood at attention.
She looked to the portal behind him. "There are places to go," she said softly with a hint of a smile on her lips, eyes flicking to the hideaway behind him. Natasha could see that the riotous mess was gone. "You've learned quite a bit of that over the years."
"Why are you here, Frigga?" he asked, voice soft yet cutting.
The Queen didn't move, still holding her regal posture, but Natasha could see her fingers twitch slightly. "You are my son, Loki."
"I was stolen."
"You are my son," Frigga repeated. "I could not intervene, and the presence of Asgard angers you. But I hoped to hear how you fared."
"Through a mortal."
"Through a friend," Frigga corrected, looking at Loki pointedly. "One you abused most grievously, one it does not appear you have tried to ask forgiveness from."
Loki snorted, shaking his head. "You have no idea what you're talking about."
Frigga stepped forward, hands open at her sides. "Perhaps. Your thoughts are not mine, your actions shrouded from view. But you are alone, my son, when you do not have to be."
Natasha intervened before he could do more than pull his lips back in a snarl of rage. His rage is less with you, Frigga had just said. Loki looked at her hand pulling on his arm, the same angry expression on his face, and she looked back at him with her smooth, unconcerned face. "Give your mother a hug and she'll go, Loki."
"You cannot command me!"
"I don't think you'd want to discuss the details of our deal in front of her." Natasha lofted an eyebrow at him, and he flushed. "Didn't think so."
Visibly overjoyed when Loki stiffly nodded at her, Frigga swept him up in a tight embrace. "You are my son," she whispered into his hair. "No matter the origins, no matter what anyone says to you. You are my son."
For a moment, it almost seemed as though Loki mouthed "mother" against her neck, but he remained silent. He stepped back immediately when Frigga let go of him, his face an expressionless mask that mirrored Natasha's. She could see that Frigga's eyes were glistening when she looked her, and the queen mouthed "thank you" before disappearing in a shimmering green haze.
It was silent for exactly five seconds after the haze dissipated. Then Loki rounded on Natasha, fist raised and eyes flashing with rage. "You cannot command me!"
"She loves you," Natasha replied simply, not backing down. "For better or for worse, no matter what heinous things you've done, she loves you."
Loki flinched and let his fist drop. "You've said love is for children."
"It is. You're her child."
He turned away from her bland tone, and she heard a hitch in his breath. It was likely that no one else in the entire universe would ever hear it. There was something like trust between them at this point, though Natasha didn't think it could be easily named.
"I am not of her blood. I was stolen. You know this."
"You can choose to accept her or not. She's already chosen you."
He turned to face her, composed and still again. "I did not come here to speak of her to you."
"So why did you come here?"
"As you said, our bargain."
"So speak."
In the pause, Natasha finally took off her jacket, moving to hang it up carefully in the front closet of her suite. Putting her back to Loki, she knew he could see the holster at the small of her back, but he didn't comment on it. They both knew bullets would be useless if he used his magic to block them. It was the principle of the thing, she supposed.
"You have said I should have time to think on our bargain," he said when she turned around.
"Do you regret accepting?" Natasha asked, voice neutral. Her gut churned; if he refused it now, what other hold would she have over him?
"No." His eyes didn't leave hers, and she wondered what he was thinking. "I do not regret it, do not renege on our bargain. But you did not wholly explain terms."
"That wasn't a good time to hammer them out."
He winced slightly, just a twitch in the corner of his eyes and mouth. She wondered if it was because it referenced his subdrop or because of the word "hammer." He still didn't care for Thor, and was probably only here because Thor was in Asgard.
"No, there was not. I wish to rectify that."
"Fine. What are your requirements?" she asked formally, starting to remove her holster. His eyes tracked the movement, tongue at the corner of his mouth. He was fascinated with her, and she could probably use that somehow.
He still owed her, after all. He owed her a lot.
"You said it would cover your domination of my person as well as mine over yours." She nodded, expression solemn. He seemed to have difficulty getting the words out. "My first requirement is that the others aren't to know. Your superiors aren't to discuss this."
"It's none of their business. This isn't a job."
A corner of Loki's lips quirked, and he looked almost pleased by that remark. "So what is it?"
"What's what?"
"This bargain of yours? What is it, if it isn't a job given to you?"
Containment. Damage control.
She said neither, but approached him slowly and put a hand on his chest. "Don't you want to know what this is?" His eyes dragged across her face slowly, as if trying to discover what underhanded thing she was about to do next. Good. "I do," she purred, lips quirked slightly.
There was a slight flare in his nostrils, and he gently rested his hand over hers. "Perhaps."
"No perhaps about it," she said with a smile. "What are your other requirements?"
Loki's lips parted; perhaps he had forgotten about the other requirements with her contact? That was flattering, but Natasha doubted that was the reason. "Would you always need… tools?" he asked after a moment.
"If the moment required it," she replied, no inflection in her tone. "I didn't use any last time."
His eyes closed for the briefest of moments, more like a slow blink, and he nodded. "That is acceptable. I have magic to rely on when it is my turn."
Considering he really didn't know what he was getting himself into, Natasha nodded at him and decided to prod him in a more useful direction. "How do you feel about bodily fluids? I assume blood is okay, given the fact that you've cut me and seemed to enjoy that. How about harm? Pain? Humiliation sometimes comes with servitude, but is that acceptable also?"
He was very still, especially with the word humiliation. "I am a god." He may have wanted to go for menacing or forceful, but it came out as a statement of fact.
"Yes. And within the confines of the scene, what are you comfortable with?"
That very obviously threw him, and his brows furrowed for a moment. "What has occurred already between us," he said slowly. "Anything further must be determined over time."
"Fair," Natasha agreed with a polite smile. She slid her hand down his chest and out from beneath his hand. "I have files to catch up on…"
"I wish to begin now."
Natasha lifted one eyebrow in surprise. "Oh? And if this is not a convenient time for me? I had said that this arrangement can't interfere with my work. Unlike you, I don't come and go as I please, exactly. I still have duties to see to."
He didn't respond to the edge in her tone. "I could manipulate time," he suggested, giving her a charming smile.
She suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. Men. "That's not the point. It would be best to have a prearranged time and place. Scheduled, so that I make sure there are no conflicts in my interests, and you can make sure to be there on time."
"Somewhere you can travel, of course. You have no working of seidr." He still had on his charming smile, but Natasha could see the strain he was under to maintain that and not simply command her. Good boy, she thought. You can be trained after all.
"I've let go of the apartment downtown," she said, reaching for her tablet. "It was compromised," she added when he gave her a curious look.
"By me."
"By you," she confirmed with a sharp nod. "So I'll need to find somewhere new. I'll have to let you know when I find a good location."
"Surely you have alternatives."
"None appropriate for you," she said blandly, flicking the switch for her tablet. "I'll need some way to contact you, of course."
Loki grabbed her arm in a tight grip sure to leave bruises later. "I will give you spells. There is no preparation necessary. You have done your work here, after all."
Letting out a sigh of exasperation, Natasha peeled his fingers from her arm. "If you're that desperate to start, then take your clothes off."
It clearly startled him. "What?"
"If this happens now, take off your clothes. Now. I have shit to do, and you're not on my list."
He responded to the irritated edge in her tone, peeling off the layers of antiquated clothing quickly. Eyes locked to her indifferent expression, he stood bare before her, then snapped his fingers almost as an afterthought. Natasha could feel the snap and settling of magic around here, likely the spell that would seal off the room to outsiders. "Little spider-"
"Don't." Her voice was soft, but he reacted as if struck. "This isn't a time to play cute or coy, Loki. You do as I say, or you can leave. Those are your options. Choose wisely."
Expression shuttered, he nodded sharply. "Very well, then. That would be your condition."
"Your choice?"
Natasha believed he was baffled by her indifference, much as he had been on several occasions before his breakdown. You don't respond the way I think you will. Why is that?
"I will concede to your wishes," he said finally. His hands were curled into loose fists at his side. Not angry yet, then, but he would be very soon.
She moved to her sofa and sat down. Snapping her fingers, she pointed to the floor in front of her. "Hands and knees on the floor. Now."
Confused, Loki did as she said, and Natasha put her feet up, boots resting along his spine. Her login screen was already on, so she logged into her SHIELD portal to pull up the files she would need to reacquaint herself with. He made a discomfited noise, as if to protest being treated as a footstool. Natasha lifted one heel an inch and brought it down swiftly, making him grunt in pain. "Conceding to my wishes means doing what I tell you. Right now, this is what I want from you. Understood?"
Loki let out a slow breath, obviously trying to keep his temper in check. "Understood," he finally said, letting his eyes shut.
Oh, she would likely pay for this later. But a deal was a deal, and he was complying for the moment. She would deal with consequences when they came. In the meantime, she had actual work to do.
***
***
To chapter three - Choose Wisely