So, I dreamed I was at Staples, trying to redeem a gift certificate I'd been given for a paper day-planner. I found one I liked, and suddenly the employee who was helping me was outraged by the brevity of the default warranty plan I'd unwittingly picked to go with it. I was like, "Warranty plan?? How much is it anyway?" and he was like, "Only $30 ( Read more... )

This is obviously Bob's great grandfather:

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For the first time in my adult life, I was actually proud to be an American. His speech made me cry. I just hope this feeling lasts, for all of us.

After a solid week of killing ourselves over it, we finally managed Halloween! Just like last year, we did it at the last minute, and watched Dr. Who and listened to The Red Masque while making the costumes, and we finally finished in time to walk up to South Street and parade up and down, and we got a variety of reactions (sick! cool! artsy! ( Read more... )

Last night I dreamed that I was debating against Sarah Palin, while wearing a fuchsia dress, and having no idea what to say in particular, apart from just running logical circles around whatever she'd say, and just saying stuff that the country would like to hear. I beat her easily, as it turned out.

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I think the South Park guys need to follow up their sadly curtailed effort to parody W in 'That's My Bush!' by making a new show called 'Where's Mah Cane??' with this doddering old guy stumbling all over the white house and a perky cougar skipping about in a bikini with babies crawling everywhere. I'd watch it.

I just had a dream wherein I'd programmed the iPhone (in my sleep, according to the dream) to turn movies into a format where the dialogue was normal, except any questions asked and answers given were all in rude, cockney accents ( Read more... )

"I want a place where I can go to eat challah French toast, surrounded by ceramic penises, where only 6 people can fit at a time, where you can sometimes be served on the bed of a pickup truck outside, in front of cops, but where they refuse to serve cops."

"Damn, dawg, go to Carman's Country Kitchen in South Philly!"

I'm working at the Camden office today, which means a vicious proximity to the Crown Fried Chicken on the next block. I am of course gnawing my way through a crispy leg right now, and I'm having a bit of a completist breakdown. I ordered three legs, two biscuits, a thing of mac'n'cheese, and a sweet potato pie (yes, I'm fat, get over it), and the ( Read more... )