Question

[eva_cristi]

Why is it that when some people break up they are able to stay friends? They continue to talk and enjoy eachother's company. While other people when they break up they never speak to eachother again. I struggle daily with not contacting him, knowing the it will be painful...but isn't having him for a friend better then nothing? Or is that just

Comments

[nox_aeternus]

It will be good to have him as a friend, but you need time to separate him from the boyfriend category into the friend category. After that, if you are both willing, you can be friends again. He needs the same time and space on his side too.

[suzie_lightning]

I agree with Brad. You're still greiving...wait 3 mos and then see how you feel about being friends.

And at the same time, take this time to relish in the fact that your only emotional responsibilities are your sons and yourself. Have fun, get a hobby and be with you for a bit. It does wonders.

[davmoo]

I am still friends with most of the women I've dated. In fact, one that I dated when we were both still teens and I have been friends for 20+ years now, I was in her wedding party a few years ago, and she would easily rank as my closest friend. I keep teasing her that if I get married, I'm going to rent her a tux and have her as "Best Person" at my own wedding.

You can answer the question "can we still be friends?" by asking yourself two other questions. Can you handle seeing him with a woman other than you? And equally important, can you accept the fact that she makes him happy when you apparently couldn't? If you have to say "no" to either question, then a friendship other than "distant friends" is probably not going to work.