review of phantom movie
so yeah, posting this due to this is what I thought of the film, but well, got too frustrated with writting it all out and just got irate with the film. so yeah, found this in my net wanderings and thus posting it
Ok...so let's start at the beginning...
Opening auction...all good...like the black and white feel...the make-up for Madame Giry and Raoul is brilliant...you'd never know it was them. The auction is about normal...I loved the transformation of the ruined dusty black and white opera house to the glory days...only complaint was that the overture should have been LOUDER...like vibrate your seats loud...as is, I could easily talk over it. I'll pause here to say that, for the most part, I really really enjoyed the new orchestrations.
Ok...Hannibal and whatnot...Carlotta OVER THE TOP ACTING...I hated Minnie Driver's attempt at an accent, felt she went way over the top with the diva thing though...her first fit really didn't make sense...it came out of nowhere. Overall, she was ok in the part, and I loved Margaret Pearce's singing for the role...but I wasn't a huge fan really.
Think of Me...wtf? She stood in the same place the entire time...and had the blankest, most dullest expression on her face. It was like the most boring rendition EVER. Why couldn't she have moved around, smiled, done SOMETHING. Her voice sounded thin and weak, which was ok for the beginning, but she never got good...she sounded breathless and emotionless through the whole thing. And I hated her cadenza.
Meg was adorable...perhaps a bit too busty for a ballet dancer...but she had a cute perfect little Meg voice (unfortunately, so does Emmy :( ).
I HATED THAT THE PHANTOM TURNED THE KEY IN THE DOOR...wtf? Come on...spare me...so he was IN the room with her...but then behind the mirror? That didn't quite make sense.
I like Raoul's entrance at this point...though I was irked he just walked in (what guy walks into a woman's dressing room without knocking? PERVERT!!)...but anyway...I liked the spoken lines here...it worked well at this point. Patrick Wilson has a nice voice and I enjoyed listening to him sing...he's a pretty good actor too, and did the role justice.
Enter...the Phantom...sans voice...sans fedora...sans mist...sans sensuality...sans mystery. SUCK. Wretched diction, they added some weird reverby stuff that attempted to cover it up, but failed...THE BLACK GLOVES SUCK!! Though he has crappy hands, so I guess it's not that bad...lol. At any rate, the mirror opens, she goes through...and it just was bad.
Title song...what can be said? HE HAS SIDE BURNS!! EEK!!! Hate the electric guitar. Gerard sounds like a combination of the worst parts of Colm Wilkinson and Steve Harley...he leads her around...Emmy looks about the same as she did during Think of Me...open mouth, wide eyed stare, no real expression on her face at all...just...BLAND...here she is being taken into the bowels of the opera house by this mysterious (sorta) guy and she just looks like "DUH."
Horse = dumb...yeah it was in the Leroux (but it was a white horse...not black)...but just walking down this little ramp with it didn't make sense. Poor horse. And then...a moment of silence before the prelude to MOTN...and he whips off his cloak with a flourish...and I burst out laughing. Yes...I actually snorted during a moment of silence in the movie. Damn, it was so ridiculous it was hilarious...and it was NOT sensual...not sexy...just...dumb looking
(he did his silly cloak flip move at least 4 or 5 times throughout the movie...apparently it was supposed to be sexy or something...it wasn't...).
And erm...ok...candles rising out of the lake = cool on stage, retarded in the movie. There's a reason why this happens on stage...it's a transition set wise...there was no reason for it in the movie and just looked out of place...wtf? They got rid of really cool stuff from the musical...and kept in things that should have been changed?
So MOTN...hands went over the ears a couple times...during the "turn your face away" line he TURNED HER FACE TOWARD HIM...erm duh, much? Emmy still looks "duh"...Phantom gets to cop a feel a lot during MOTN...for a guy afraid to touch her, for a guy who's never had a woman really this close before, he sure does have no problem fondling her...Kodak moment...hand ends up on her chest...ack...She faints (which is done really weirdly...because it happens almost instantaneously to seeing the dummy...wouldn't it take a moment to sink in???)...he does catch her, which is good...but he looks awkward doing so. Drops her in the bed, has no problem touching her further, and then closes the curtain.
A moment here to say "wtf" over her outfit...meet Christine...the sexpot...she looks like a prostitute...could her outfit have any higher a slit? I didn't think so. And the garters were beyond sexy. Gah.
Ok...back to the lair...Christine wakes up...Phantom is working on his music, but you don't get to hear any of the harsh chords that are a prelude to Don Juan...ok...so they're always shocking after MOTN and so I don't really miss them. But a few problems here...Christine's garters are MISSING...erm...where did they go? The Phantom turns and looks right at her...but then lets her get close enough to TOUCH HIS FACE...and he doesn't freak out, spaz out, doesn't even really think "hey maybe she could...oops there it goes!" She removes the mask...spaz out...not much to say there, except he goes and looks in the mirror when he says something about how horrible his face is...but you can't even see a defmority!!! Gah!
Notes is well-done...I like how they're all in the foyer...the walking around...the interaction is nice and Carlotta is amusing if not over the top childish. The whole Prima Donna and leading up to it is a little strange, but I enjoyed how half the song was getting her ready to play her part in Il Muto...
And ok...another note here...THE PHANTOM PLAYS WITH DOLLS??? wtf was up with those? They were so ridiculous...the removeable heads and stuff? I hated them. They weren't even clever...they were just...weird...and creepy.
Ok back to our plot. ;-) Il Muto was good...I miss the guy singing the really low note for like ever...but otherwise it was good. Carlotta's croaking was about on par...the PHANTOM DID NOT LAUGH. I miss the evil laugh. The ballet comes...didn't get the guy standing out there and Reyer telling him he was fired...and omg there were SHEEP on stage...dumb...So anyway Buquet dies...much better done in the movie just because you CAN do that sort of shot in a movie...I didn't miss the obviously fake Buquet dummy that falls during the musical.
I couldn't quite decide if I liked Christine and Raoul singing on the way up to the roof...and I've decided I don't. For a couple reasons...mainly because I can't see them actually talking about Erik in Erik's domain...and also because it stops the emotional interaction...and Christine can't shove Raoul away...I always did love that part where she gets pissed at him during it..."Raoul you moron...yes he IS real...I've BEEN THERE."
So AIAOY is pretty...I didn't like the make-out session...far less than "innocent"...but did NOT surprise me. And did they NOT NOTICE the Phantom hanging out just a few feet from them? He was hard to miss with all that wind and that billowy cloak thing going on.
AIAOY reprise...sucked...very little emotion...the octave jump was horrible and ruined it. There was no maniacal laughter...and it was an empty threat because he did nothing at that point except sit up on the angel and let his cloak billow out in the wind in a lame attempt to look evil and yet cool.
Ok so we're onto Masquerade...vocally done well...but really...wtf? The costumes were crap...all that black and white...while singing about colours? The voguing? That weird guy doing whatever he was doing up there alone? ICK. I hated Raoul and Christine speaking their lines. They rhyme...and it sounds stupid to speak rhymed lines like that.
And then...Erik the gay musketeer appears! Ta da! Look at me! I'm in red!! AND YOU'RE ALL IN BLACK AND WHITE!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Ok so I hated this part. And then they combined into it part of notes. Blah. Erik was so NOT scary...and he looked ridiculous in that outfit. I miss the dramatic Red Death one. I also missed the whole lines that lead up to "shattered chandelier"...What WAS cool? His disappearance...the fire and dropping through the ground was very cool.
Flashback scene with Madame Giry and the Phantom...ok...except that hood he was wearing...wtf was that? He looked like some demented teddy bear.
We're missing almost all of Notes II...which SUCKS...I miss Christine getting mad at Carlotta...and then freaking out when they're plotting (we have no idea what the plot is really)...I miss the DJT rehearsal...and the mysterious freaky piano that plays by itself.
So then we head off to the cemetary...for one of my least favourite scenes in the entire movie. They had the violin playing that cool line...too bad it was covered up by Raoul's horse making all that noise! I didn't like the Phantom being the driver...WYWSHA was ok...nothing fantastic...and blah like most of her songs. Daddy Daae must've had some cash because that was one HUGE mausoleum he was buried in. Wandering child...was bad...especially on Butler's side...that was NOT an enticing voice. And you don't see the Phantom at all...
And then...Raoul...the knight on his white horse shows up...dum-de-da-dum!! Comes flying out with his sword brandished...And Erik jumps out from behind the mausoleum and comes after him with HIS sword!! I dearly missed the "Bravo monsieur" and the utter sarcastic taunting Erik normally does this point...*sighs* The sword fight was retarded...Erik, trained killer Erik would NEVER have lost a fight...I mean, he ended up on HIS BACK with Raoul poised to kill him...and Christine says "no Raoul not like this" and they let him live...come on...ridiculous...Go straight to jail...do not collect $200...in order to get out, READ THE BOOK. *ah hem*
And then we get the whole Twisted every way thing...sorta...it was ok...we see tears...but still that same blank expression (though she does try pulling her eyebrows up into this kinda constipated expression that I guess is SUPPOSED to be sadness?).
And then...PONR...there were so many problems with this one I'm not even sure where to start...let's begin with his being completely on display to the public...no cloak...so we all know it's him from the get-go. You'd think he was making it easy for the cops to shoot him. I mean, he's there and separated from Christine by a whole stage. Her reaction? "duh" Their reaction? "duh" No one shoots and Christine doesn't really seem to care that the Phantom is suddenly on stage with her. So they walk up the stairs (which I recall reading in the original script and didn't like)...no bench scene...they finally come together and he whips her around and brings his hand to her neck (he does this a lot...I think he secretly wanted to strangle her). He paws her all over...back to her chest again...his "proposal" is dull...the only good part of this was how they drop through the trap door...unfortunately, they drop quite far...wouldn't that like HURT???
So anyway...Madame Giry shows Raoul where to go...she tells him about the hand at the level of the eyes...but he doesn't seem to care...oops...I do like his jumping into the water and almost getting trapped there...I like being able to see those things...
The Final Lair...really wretched part #264 perhaps? I do really like the boat...it's very cool to have it on real water and all. But anyway...we finally see his defmority...and it's...not really there. He's missing a little bit of hair on that side (obviously easily hidden by his mask)...and the "deformity" is basically a little bit of raised red welts...nothing enough to inspire fear in even the most delicate of hearts...a wig and a little bit of make-up and he'd look almost normal...certainly not a "repulsive carcass" or any sort of hideous monster. In fact, we've had a view of his tanned muscular hairy chest for quite some time. And his face is nothing to scream at. I was like "is that IT? come on...there's more isn't there?" Nope there wasn't. At any rate...Raoul shows up...and he's very distressed...good acting still...the Phantom lets him into the lair. I miss the snippy sarcasm some other Phantoms are capable of...falls very flat with Butler...he ties Raoul to the portcullis...then puts the noose around his neck. Ok that's all well and good...but then he stays and sings next to Raoul...um hello? Isn't it Christine you're supposed to be paying attention to? When he grabs onto Christine finally she SHOVES HIM AWAY and tells him to leave her alone or something equally ridiculous. Ok so it's so obvious this Christine doesn't even care about the Phantom. Which makes her kissing him like she does just weird. And his "you try my patience" line is rushed, forced, and almost unemotional. She kisses him...he doesn't shake at all...but then again, he's had his hands all over her, so I guess this wasn't as big a deal for him. He lets them go...and sings "Go now and leave me" which sounds asinine to say the least. She comes back, still with that blank expression, gives him back the ring, he sings "Christine...I looooo....ve you"...ick...and then he smashes the mirrors to death. I really hated it...I missed him stroking the veil and crying...and mostly I missed the dignity he draws up around himself at the very end...it's always beautiful to see when he pulls himself up with all the dignity Erik posesses and sings "It's over now, the music of the night." But Butler doesn't do that...just smashes mirrors and disappears behind a curtain.
And then we flash foward again (btw...we've been doing this all along and they've always been kinda "huh?"). Raoul's at her grave...so we know Christine died...and there's a rose there...from Erik...gah...so he's long outlived her...*sighs* So NOT ERIK.
So there you have it...I saw it...and have very little I can really like about it. Sorry guys...I did try though...
Ok...so let's start at the beginning...
Opening auction...all good...like the black and white feel...the make-up for Madame Giry and Raoul is brilliant...you'd never know it was them. The auction is about normal...I loved the transformation of the ruined dusty black and white opera house to the glory days...only complaint was that the overture should have been LOUDER...like vibrate your seats loud...as is, I could easily talk over it. I'll pause here to say that, for the most part, I really really enjoyed the new orchestrations.
Ok...Hannibal and whatnot...Carlotta OVER THE TOP ACTING...I hated Minnie Driver's attempt at an accent, felt she went way over the top with the diva thing though...her first fit really didn't make sense...it came out of nowhere. Overall, she was ok in the part, and I loved Margaret Pearce's singing for the role...but I wasn't a huge fan really.
Think of Me...wtf? She stood in the same place the entire time...and had the blankest, most dullest expression on her face. It was like the most boring rendition EVER. Why couldn't she have moved around, smiled, done SOMETHING. Her voice sounded thin and weak, which was ok for the beginning, but she never got good...she sounded breathless and emotionless through the whole thing. And I hated her cadenza.
Meg was adorable...perhaps a bit too busty for a ballet dancer...but she had a cute perfect little Meg voice (unfortunately, so does Emmy :( ).
I HATED THAT THE PHANTOM TURNED THE KEY IN THE DOOR...wtf? Come on...spare me...so he was IN the room with her...but then behind the mirror? That didn't quite make sense.
I like Raoul's entrance at this point...though I was irked he just walked in (what guy walks into a woman's dressing room without knocking? PERVERT!!)...but anyway...I liked the spoken lines here...it worked well at this point. Patrick Wilson has a nice voice and I enjoyed listening to him sing...he's a pretty good actor too, and did the role justice.
Enter...the Phantom...sans voice...sans fedora...sans mist...sans sensuality...sans mystery. SUCK. Wretched diction, they added some weird reverby stuff that attempted to cover it up, but failed...THE BLACK GLOVES SUCK!! Though he has crappy hands, so I guess it's not that bad...lol. At any rate, the mirror opens, she goes through...and it just was bad.
Title song...what can be said? HE HAS SIDE BURNS!! EEK!!! Hate the electric guitar. Gerard sounds like a combination of the worst parts of Colm Wilkinson and Steve Harley...he leads her around...Emmy looks about the same as she did during Think of Me...open mouth, wide eyed stare, no real expression on her face at all...just...BLAND...here she is being taken into the bowels of the opera house by this mysterious (sorta) guy and she just looks like "DUH."
Horse = dumb...yeah it was in the Leroux (but it was a white horse...not black)...but just walking down this little ramp with it didn't make sense. Poor horse. And then...a moment of silence before the prelude to MOTN...and he whips off his cloak with a flourish...and I burst out laughing. Yes...I actually snorted during a moment of silence in the movie. Damn, it was so ridiculous it was hilarious...and it was NOT sensual...not sexy...just...dumb looking
(he did his silly cloak flip move at least 4 or 5 times throughout the movie...apparently it was supposed to be sexy or something...it wasn't...).
And erm...ok...candles rising out of the lake = cool on stage, retarded in the movie. There's a reason why this happens on stage...it's a transition set wise...there was no reason for it in the movie and just looked out of place...wtf? They got rid of really cool stuff from the musical...and kept in things that should have been changed?
So MOTN...hands went over the ears a couple times...during the "turn your face away" line he TURNED HER FACE TOWARD HIM...erm duh, much? Emmy still looks "duh"...Phantom gets to cop a feel a lot during MOTN...for a guy afraid to touch her, for a guy who's never had a woman really this close before, he sure does have no problem fondling her...Kodak moment...hand ends up on her chest...ack...She faints (which is done really weirdly...because it happens almost instantaneously to seeing the dummy...wouldn't it take a moment to sink in???)...he does catch her, which is good...but he looks awkward doing so. Drops her in the bed, has no problem touching her further, and then closes the curtain.
A moment here to say "wtf" over her outfit...meet Christine...the sexpot...she looks like a prostitute...could her outfit have any higher a slit? I didn't think so. And the garters were beyond sexy. Gah.
Ok...back to the lair...Christine wakes up...Phantom is working on his music, but you don't get to hear any of the harsh chords that are a prelude to Don Juan...ok...so they're always shocking after MOTN and so I don't really miss them. But a few problems here...Christine's garters are MISSING...erm...where did they go? The Phantom turns and looks right at her...but then lets her get close enough to TOUCH HIS FACE...and he doesn't freak out, spaz out, doesn't even really think "hey maybe she could...oops there it goes!" She removes the mask...spaz out...not much to say there, except he goes and looks in the mirror when he says something about how horrible his face is...but you can't even see a defmority!!! Gah!
Notes is well-done...I like how they're all in the foyer...the walking around...the interaction is nice and Carlotta is amusing if not over the top childish. The whole Prima Donna and leading up to it is a little strange, but I enjoyed how half the song was getting her ready to play her part in Il Muto...
And ok...another note here...THE PHANTOM PLAYS WITH DOLLS??? wtf was up with those? They were so ridiculous...the removeable heads and stuff? I hated them. They weren't even clever...they were just...weird...and creepy.
Ok back to our plot. ;-) Il Muto was good...I miss the guy singing the really low note for like ever...but otherwise it was good. Carlotta's croaking was about on par...the PHANTOM DID NOT LAUGH. I miss the evil laugh. The ballet comes...didn't get the guy standing out there and Reyer telling him he was fired...and omg there were SHEEP on stage...dumb...So anyway Buquet dies...much better done in the movie just because you CAN do that sort of shot in a movie...I didn't miss the obviously fake Buquet dummy that falls during the musical.
I couldn't quite decide if I liked Christine and Raoul singing on the way up to the roof...and I've decided I don't. For a couple reasons...mainly because I can't see them actually talking about Erik in Erik's domain...and also because it stops the emotional interaction...and Christine can't shove Raoul away...I always did love that part where she gets pissed at him during it..."Raoul you moron...yes he IS real...I've BEEN THERE."
So AIAOY is pretty...I didn't like the make-out session...far less than "innocent"...but did NOT surprise me. And did they NOT NOTICE the Phantom hanging out just a few feet from them? He was hard to miss with all that wind and that billowy cloak thing going on.
AIAOY reprise...sucked...very little emotion...the octave jump was horrible and ruined it. There was no maniacal laughter...and it was an empty threat because he did nothing at that point except sit up on the angel and let his cloak billow out in the wind in a lame attempt to look evil and yet cool.
Ok so we're onto Masquerade...vocally done well...but really...wtf? The costumes were crap...all that black and white...while singing about colours? The voguing? That weird guy doing whatever he was doing up there alone? ICK. I hated Raoul and Christine speaking their lines. They rhyme...and it sounds stupid to speak rhymed lines like that.
And then...Erik the gay musketeer appears! Ta da! Look at me! I'm in red!! AND YOU'RE ALL IN BLACK AND WHITE!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Ok so I hated this part. And then they combined into it part of notes. Blah. Erik was so NOT scary...and he looked ridiculous in that outfit. I miss the dramatic Red Death one. I also missed the whole lines that lead up to "shattered chandelier"...What WAS cool? His disappearance...the fire and dropping through the ground was very cool.
Flashback scene with Madame Giry and the Phantom...ok...except that hood he was wearing...wtf was that? He looked like some demented teddy bear.
We're missing almost all of Notes II...which SUCKS...I miss Christine getting mad at Carlotta...and then freaking out when they're plotting (we have no idea what the plot is really)...I miss the DJT rehearsal...and the mysterious freaky piano that plays by itself.
So then we head off to the cemetary...for one of my least favourite scenes in the entire movie. They had the violin playing that cool line...too bad it was covered up by Raoul's horse making all that noise! I didn't like the Phantom being the driver...WYWSHA was ok...nothing fantastic...and blah like most of her songs. Daddy Daae must've had some cash because that was one HUGE mausoleum he was buried in. Wandering child...was bad...especially on Butler's side...that was NOT an enticing voice. And you don't see the Phantom at all...
And then...Raoul...the knight on his white horse shows up...dum-de-da-dum!! Comes flying out with his sword brandished...And Erik jumps out from behind the mausoleum and comes after him with HIS sword!! I dearly missed the "Bravo monsieur" and the utter sarcastic taunting Erik normally does this point...*sighs* The sword fight was retarded...Erik, trained killer Erik would NEVER have lost a fight...I mean, he ended up on HIS BACK with Raoul poised to kill him...and Christine says "no Raoul not like this" and they let him live...come on...ridiculous...Go straight to jail...do not collect $200...in order to get out, READ THE BOOK. *ah hem*
And then we get the whole Twisted every way thing...sorta...it was ok...we see tears...but still that same blank expression (though she does try pulling her eyebrows up into this kinda constipated expression that I guess is SUPPOSED to be sadness?).
And then...PONR...there were so many problems with this one I'm not even sure where to start...let's begin with his being completely on display to the public...no cloak...so we all know it's him from the get-go. You'd think he was making it easy for the cops to shoot him. I mean, he's there and separated from Christine by a whole stage. Her reaction? "duh" Their reaction? "duh" No one shoots and Christine doesn't really seem to care that the Phantom is suddenly on stage with her. So they walk up the stairs (which I recall reading in the original script and didn't like)...no bench scene...they finally come together and he whips her around and brings his hand to her neck (he does this a lot...I think he secretly wanted to strangle her). He paws her all over...back to her chest again...his "proposal" is dull...the only good part of this was how they drop through the trap door...unfortunately, they drop quite far...wouldn't that like HURT???
So anyway...Madame Giry shows Raoul where to go...she tells him about the hand at the level of the eyes...but he doesn't seem to care...oops...I do like his jumping into the water and almost getting trapped there...I like being able to see those things...
The Final Lair...really wretched part #264 perhaps? I do really like the boat...it's very cool to have it on real water and all. But anyway...we finally see his defmority...and it's...not really there. He's missing a little bit of hair on that side (obviously easily hidden by his mask)...and the "deformity" is basically a little bit of raised red welts...nothing enough to inspire fear in even the most delicate of hearts...a wig and a little bit of make-up and he'd look almost normal...certainly not a "repulsive carcass" or any sort of hideous monster. In fact, we've had a view of his tanned muscular hairy chest for quite some time. And his face is nothing to scream at. I was like "is that IT? come on...there's more isn't there?" Nope there wasn't. At any rate...Raoul shows up...and he's very distressed...good acting still...the Phantom lets him into the lair. I miss the snippy sarcasm some other Phantoms are capable of...falls very flat with Butler...he ties Raoul to the portcullis...then puts the noose around his neck. Ok that's all well and good...but then he stays and sings next to Raoul...um hello? Isn't it Christine you're supposed to be paying attention to? When he grabs onto Christine finally she SHOVES HIM AWAY and tells him to leave her alone or something equally ridiculous. Ok so it's so obvious this Christine doesn't even care about the Phantom. Which makes her kissing him like she does just weird. And his "you try my patience" line is rushed, forced, and almost unemotional. She kisses him...he doesn't shake at all...but then again, he's had his hands all over her, so I guess this wasn't as big a deal for him. He lets them go...and sings "Go now and leave me" which sounds asinine to say the least. She comes back, still with that blank expression, gives him back the ring, he sings "Christine...I looooo....ve you"...ick...and then he smashes the mirrors to death. I really hated it...I missed him stroking the veil and crying...and mostly I missed the dignity he draws up around himself at the very end...it's always beautiful to see when he pulls himself up with all the dignity Erik posesses and sings "It's over now, the music of the night." But Butler doesn't do that...just smashes mirrors and disappears behind a curtain.
And then we flash foward again (btw...we've been doing this all along and they've always been kinda "huh?"). Raoul's at her grave...so we know Christine died...and there's a rose there...from Erik...gah...so he's long outlived her...*sighs* So NOT ERIK.
So there you have it...I saw it...and have very little I can really like about it. Sorry guys...I did try though...