I'm not going to be using my thumb for a while. But really that's not what I'm pissed off about.
Today's been interesting.
The good news is I didn't break my thumb or rip anything important.
The bad news is I've managed to sprain my right thumb and won't be using it for much of anything except a page holder for a while.
But really, that's only an incidental part of what I'd really like to rant about for a little while here...
I was driving back home from mailing packages at the post office for work today, and I had a giant pickup truck run a stop sign and pull out in front of me... followed by them flooring it and THEN breaking suddenly to make an unsignaled turn into an alley about 100 feet later. Luckily, no, I didn't rear end them. However, in reaching for the steering wheel to hold on and brace what I thought was going to be the impending impact I managed to slam my thumb head-on into the steering wheel. My first joint locked... and my second joint folded and went backwards about an inch and a half farther than it should EVER flex. This of course made a very scary popping sound followed by searing pain shooting up to my shoulder. I pulled over until I could stop shaking enough to figure out what I should do next.
When I had calmed down, I realized the first thing I really needed was to get some ice on my hand, as the side of my palm was already swelling and turning spectacularly purple. I headed down the road to a gas station, parked, and went inside to get some ice. On my way in a very trim and polished blond woman in a tailored business suit was in front of me. For some unknown reason she felt the need to hold the door open for me... which involved waiting the entire duration of me walking across the front walk of the store with the door standing open. Even with my hand swelling and turning purple, I found this unnecessary and odd... last time I checked, the temperature here was 30 degrees and I felt bad for the people inside who probably didn't appreciate the draft.
As I reached for the door and felt the intense pain as she released it on my arm, I realized I would be going nowhere else today... I thought hey, if I want some milk to go with my coffee tomorrow morning I'd better grab some while I'm here, since my boss was nice enough to finish mine off while I was gone over the weekend. I veered over to the milk case, where the blond happened to be. As she got her milk, she spun around and smiled sweetly at me. "I'd just like to ask you a question," she said. I stared back blankly, thinking maybe she wanted directions or something. She continued, "do you always fail to say THANK YOU to people who hold the door for you?" I honestly have no idea what facial expression I answered her with, but she huffed off past me in disgust. I grabbed my milk, and went to get a soda cup full of ice to stick my hand in.
The clerk was nice enough to tell me that the cup of ice I had my hand in was on the house, and the milk was $1.89. When I tried putting my change in my pocket and fumbled with my good hand, the guy behind me was nice enough to pick it up off the floor and hand it back. I unthinkingly muttered a thank you and went to leave. On my way out the door with my milk under one arm and my hand in a cup of ice, I saw that the so very helpful blond was sneering at me smugly from her place in line. I can't tell if it's because the numbness in my hand made me think clearly enough to say thank you to the guy who picked my change up, or because her morals were so soaringly above mine. Either way, wtf?
Today has really made me think - surprisingly not so much directly about the whole smashing my thumb, going for x-rays, and getting to wear a splint part... really that just gave me the TIME to think about what was REALLY pissing me off. What's my least favorite part of today? The blond. I wish I could go back in time and explicitly thank her for letting the cold into the store, followed by smacking my bruised hand with the door, and delaying me getting to the ice. Alas, I can't.
If you're only doing something that you see as "good" for the gratification you get when you're told "thank you" then why are you bothering? Seriously. In the process of "helping" people, I think it's important to take a look at if you really ARE doing them any good. Part of me wants to say that this world need as much help as it can get... but holy smokes. If you are so focused on getting your affirmation that you are a useful, helpful, and kind person by hearing your so very hard-earned "thank you" and when you don't get it you feel the need to claim some satisfaction by calling somebody out in public like they fall somewhere between a forgetful toddler and complete moral scum? If I hadn't been in a ridiculous amount of pain today that woman would have gotten a earful.
This made me think back on when I've done things for people. No, I can't seriously recall ever being upset when I did something voluntarily like that and got no response. I chose to do it. I wasn't asked to. Ooo. Why yes, I hold doors open too. I also donate to the Goodwill, salt the neighbors' sidewalk when it's icy, and have even gone so far as to walk into the room of someone I didn't know at the hospital and help them eat dinner when I could see from the door that their hands were too weak for them to feed themself.
What did I gain from any of that? From what I can tell, the most I gained was the knowledge that maybe if I need help somebody will be there to help me the way I've helped other people. If we can't do those little courtesies for each other without expecting recognition, then the world is well and truly done for.
The good news is I didn't break my thumb or rip anything important.
The bad news is I've managed to sprain my right thumb and won't be using it for much of anything except a page holder for a while.
But really, that's only an incidental part of what I'd really like to rant about for a little while here...
I was driving back home from mailing packages at the post office for work today, and I had a giant pickup truck run a stop sign and pull out in front of me... followed by them flooring it and THEN breaking suddenly to make an unsignaled turn into an alley about 100 feet later. Luckily, no, I didn't rear end them. However, in reaching for the steering wheel to hold on and brace what I thought was going to be the impending impact I managed to slam my thumb head-on into the steering wheel. My first joint locked... and my second joint folded and went backwards about an inch and a half farther than it should EVER flex. This of course made a very scary popping sound followed by searing pain shooting up to my shoulder. I pulled over until I could stop shaking enough to figure out what I should do next.
When I had calmed down, I realized the first thing I really needed was to get some ice on my hand, as the side of my palm was already swelling and turning spectacularly purple. I headed down the road to a gas station, parked, and went inside to get some ice. On my way in a very trim and polished blond woman in a tailored business suit was in front of me. For some unknown reason she felt the need to hold the door open for me... which involved waiting the entire duration of me walking across the front walk of the store with the door standing open. Even with my hand swelling and turning purple, I found this unnecessary and odd... last time I checked, the temperature here was 30 degrees and I felt bad for the people inside who probably didn't appreciate the draft.
As I reached for the door and felt the intense pain as she released it on my arm, I realized I would be going nowhere else today... I thought hey, if I want some milk to go with my coffee tomorrow morning I'd better grab some while I'm here, since my boss was nice enough to finish mine off while I was gone over the weekend. I veered over to the milk case, where the blond happened to be. As she got her milk, she spun around and smiled sweetly at me. "I'd just like to ask you a question," she said. I stared back blankly, thinking maybe she wanted directions or something. She continued, "do you always fail to say THANK YOU to people who hold the door for you?" I honestly have no idea what facial expression I answered her with, but she huffed off past me in disgust. I grabbed my milk, and went to get a soda cup full of ice to stick my hand in.
The clerk was nice enough to tell me that the cup of ice I had my hand in was on the house, and the milk was $1.89. When I tried putting my change in my pocket and fumbled with my good hand, the guy behind me was nice enough to pick it up off the floor and hand it back. I unthinkingly muttered a thank you and went to leave. On my way out the door with my milk under one arm and my hand in a cup of ice, I saw that the so very helpful blond was sneering at me smugly from her place in line. I can't tell if it's because the numbness in my hand made me think clearly enough to say thank you to the guy who picked my change up, or because her morals were so soaringly above mine. Either way, wtf?
Today has really made me think - surprisingly not so much directly about the whole smashing my thumb, going for x-rays, and getting to wear a splint part... really that just gave me the TIME to think about what was REALLY pissing me off. What's my least favorite part of today? The blond. I wish I could go back in time and explicitly thank her for letting the cold into the store, followed by smacking my bruised hand with the door, and delaying me getting to the ice. Alas, I can't.
If you're only doing something that you see as "good" for the gratification you get when you're told "thank you" then why are you bothering? Seriously. In the process of "helping" people, I think it's important to take a look at if you really ARE doing them any good. Part of me wants to say that this world need as much help as it can get... but holy smokes. If you are so focused on getting your affirmation that you are a useful, helpful, and kind person by hearing your so very hard-earned "thank you" and when you don't get it you feel the need to claim some satisfaction by calling somebody out in public like they fall somewhere between a forgetful toddler and complete moral scum? If I hadn't been in a ridiculous amount of pain today that woman would have gotten a earful.
This made me think back on when I've done things for people. No, I can't seriously recall ever being upset when I did something voluntarily like that and got no response. I chose to do it. I wasn't asked to. Ooo. Why yes, I hold doors open too. I also donate to the Goodwill, salt the neighbors' sidewalk when it's icy, and have even gone so far as to walk into the room of someone I didn't know at the hospital and help them eat dinner when I could see from the door that their hands were too weak for them to feed themself.
What did I gain from any of that? From what I can tell, the most I gained was the knowledge that maybe if I need help somebody will be there to help me the way I've helped other people. If we can't do those little courtesies for each other without expecting recognition, then the world is well and truly done for.