Arrrrg
Everything my roommate does drives me crazy. These annoyances have sprung from the fact that she does not seem to acknowledge the fact that she lives in the same small space with me. Before break, I thought things were getting better. We were talking a lot more and communicating. Since coming back, things have been the worst they ever were. Right now, I can't remember the last time either of us said a word to each other. I really went crazy a few weekends ago. I went out with my cousin and her friends Friday night. No one would walk me home so I stayed over there. I came back the next day around one. I took a shower and when I came back in my roommate was there sitting at her computer playing solitaire. I walk in and shut the door. There was no response. She didn't turn around. So I put on clothes and started being extra loud to see if she'd turn around and look at me. I wanted to hit her in the head and say "I'm home! I've been gone all night. No one knew where I was. Why aren't you acknowledging me???" But I didn't. I grabbed my phone and went and called my mom. Throughout that day we spoke to each other a couple times. She didn't bother to ask me where I was or even show that she had even noticed I had been gone all night.
This might not seem like that big a of a deal, but it is difficult to live with someone who could care less about what's going on in your life. I tried talking to her, but I got short, rude answers so I gave up. She does her own thing. Hangs out by herself, doesn't really care about social interaction, I get that, but I'm her damn roommate! Alright, so I finally accepted the fact that she and I are never going to be friends. She's never going to ask me how my day was or if I have any exams coming up. But then she's just this stranger living in MY room. It doesn't feel like she belongs. It feels like she's invading. And I'm sure she feels that way about me. We don't communicate about anything, so neither or us have any idea what makes the other happy or what annoys the other. So, that's the point we're at right now. Everything she does drives me crazy.
What does she do? Well, I'll tell you. First, she's just rude. If I bring people into the room, she doesn't turn around from her computer. If someone says, "Oh, I really like your plants" and I say, "Oh yeah, they're Val's," she doesn't turn around or say anything. I try to introduce people and she will barely stand there long enough for me to get their names out. Once she left the room while I was still introducing someone. She never talks, but when she does, it is with negative, judgmental comments. Example: My friends Jackie, Chelsea and I were in my room talking about how Jackie just cut off 10 inches of her hair. I asked if she cried and said I would. Val turns around just to throw in the comment that she "really wouldn't care at all." She needs to make it known that she doesn't care about appearance and she doesn't spend money on material possessions and blah blah blah. For some reason she thinks that she is better than me because all her shirts come free from engineering events while I like to buy shoes and I blow dry my hair. She wants to go to Africa and save the world and build water purifiers and all this crap. How about starting with right here in your own room by being nice to your roommate!! Then there are the little things. She is always on her computer. ALWAYS. A lot of the time she is talking to her boyfriend who lives upstairs. Get out of the fucking chair and go talk to him. So, she's always typing typing typing. Also, she has to be the most ungraceful person I know. She comes in the room, plops down in her chair, accidentally kicks things on her way there, bumps in to the desk, pulls things down from her shelf, slams books open, manages to loudly trip every time she gets up to go anywhere, it's LOUD LOUD LOUD and clumsy all the time. She takes a drink from her water bottle, pounds the cap back on and slams it back on to the desk. Is this really necessary? And she really like to eat chips and hard candy. This girl is not a quiet eater. Everything she eats, I can hear every single little bit she takes. I have to put music on so loudly I can't concentrate just to drown out the sound. Every sip of water she takes I have to listen to.
And maybe the worst thing of all, she's ALWAYS here. She never goes home. She went home for Thanksgiving and winter break. Both times she left after me and came back before me. No time to myself. She leaves for class at the last possible second and must run back from class because she always shows up two minutes after they end. Her boyfriend lives upstairs, yet she has never spent a night there. I can't have a weekend in by myself because she is going in and out with him, and is always back by about 1230 and is on the computer talking to people again. She doesn't have friends to hang out with and she doesn't spend money, so she never goes out at all. She's just always here, sitting at her computer, typing away. I can't take it. I know I should be able to get over these things. I should be more mature and put them from my mind and just concentrate on getting work done, but it's hard. I just want to move on. I want to get away from her. Her boyfriend told me that she's doing a random roommate again next year because she likes meeting random people. What the hell? If you like meeting people why haven't you ever tried to be a part of a conversation or been polite to me when I try and ask you about your life??? No one will ever know the answer I suppose.
The best thing about having an apartment next year is that I can be alone sometimes. Sometimes I just want to come back from class and go in my room and sit and be by myself. I don't want to have to be polite to people talking to me in the halls or asking how I am. It's like when Carey gets mad at Aiden when he's doing that "Where ya been? What ya been doing? Who were you with?" thing. I should create a time limit for talking like she did. It's just frustrating that as alone as you may think you are in a dorm, there's always someone around. I need some space.
I've also been sick for almost two weeks now. I'm going to the doctor of Friday to see if anything is up. I'm tired of just sitting around doing homework and sleeping. I want to being about to go out this weekend and to have the energy to work out. I hope they can tell me something is wrong and give me something for it. I'm tired of being sick.