Tinderbox
My phone charger died the other day, so I messaged C to ask, could I get the base for my other one back, please? I said, in all honesty I'm glad I have an excuse to see you. He says I don't need an excuse but-- surely we do. Because if we can just meet up for no reason, just to chat or hang out, then... why aren't we still seeing each other?
I stopped walking a number of times on the way there. But I'm glad, in the end, that I went. We talked for a while, it was sad and awkward. There were three seats at our table, at first I took the one nearer to him but it was too weird. When I came back with my chai (caffeine-sensitive hipster that I am) I sat further away. We finished our drinks in under and hour and he said, well, should we go then? I didn't want to. I got sad. I would rather sit here in silence with you, than see you not at all. He said, we can go for a walk or something. The idea of walking awkwardly side by side, not holding hands, not going anywhere. Absolutely not. That was the worst part. We stayed, though. It got better. Forced cheer became real cheer and we stayed another hour.
There's still so much chemistry. Wistful flirting is a weird concept.
When we left he held me, standing outside on the pavement. I was wearing my grey hoodie but through it I could feel his hand against my ribs, just touching. Our faces were close, like in fucking chick lit. It was hard to walk away. I miss that warmth.
I haven't been to dance class in ages, because I've been working too much. The week before the students moved in I was helping to clean rooms, so I was finishing at 8 at the earliest. Friday night we were here till after midnight. At about half ten I broke a fridge shelf, and because it was safety glass it shattered into a million stupid pieces and went everywhere. I hate safety glass. I've started writing a poem about how much I hate safety glass. I might turn it into a metaphor for relationships or something (standard) but I might just have it be a long rant about the stupidest invention ever.
I stopped walking a number of times on the way there. But I'm glad, in the end, that I went. We talked for a while, it was sad and awkward. There were three seats at our table, at first I took the one nearer to him but it was too weird. When I came back with my chai (caffeine-sensitive hipster that I am) I sat further away. We finished our drinks in under and hour and he said, well, should we go then? I didn't want to. I got sad. I would rather sit here in silence with you, than see you not at all. He said, we can go for a walk or something. The idea of walking awkwardly side by side, not holding hands, not going anywhere. Absolutely not. That was the worst part. We stayed, though. It got better. Forced cheer became real cheer and we stayed another hour.
There's still so much chemistry. Wistful flirting is a weird concept.
When we left he held me, standing outside on the pavement. I was wearing my grey hoodie but through it I could feel his hand against my ribs, just touching. Our faces were close, like in fucking chick lit. It was hard to walk away. I miss that warmth.
I haven't been to dance class in ages, because I've been working too much. The week before the students moved in I was helping to clean rooms, so I was finishing at 8 at the earliest. Friday night we were here till after midnight. At about half ten I broke a fridge shelf, and because it was safety glass it shattered into a million stupid pieces and went everywhere. I hate safety glass. I've started writing a poem about how much I hate safety glass. I might turn it into a metaphor for relationships or something (standard) but I might just have it be a long rant about the stupidest invention ever.