I had the strangest realization a few weeks ago, and it never went away. If anything, it's grown and become one of those annoying, recurring thoughts that will never leave
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I understand where you're coming from. I used to be exactly the same. Then, when i started college i made a conscious effort to reinvent myself as a more confident and outgoing person.
I was the first to start conversations, ask questions no one else would and organise studies and gatherings. It really changed me for the better and made me a more positive person. You have a great, new and exciting opportunity here and i'm sure you have the personality to match. I say go for it and get yourself out there! Good luck!
Thank you so much, simple_script! I should have done this so long ago, but now is better than never. I actually used to be where I want to be now--way back in grade school--but then I went to high school, and I just shut down. But I know changing everything now will definitely be a positive and beneficial move that's really going to affect everything from now on, and it can really only get better from here! :)
I think it was fine that you were quiet during undergrad, I spoke to everyone, tried to be friendly and all that. Still social outcast, I think it depends on the person. I wish I was like you during it.
Best of luck in grad school though, but honestly be yourself. :) Let yourself change gradually or it'll be like stretching a rubber band. If you're meant to be more quiet that's fine, as for taking what you want, being that out going, go for it.
You're absolutely right. I can see it going well, but I can also see it going terribly wrong, because where I want to be is so far from where I am that I might just freak myself out, resulting in a terrific FAIL. Grad school is already enough of a shock.
Baby steps.
But thanks, kaze_no_tora. I always greatly appreciate your input. You are a voice of reason! :) Gradual change is better than a rapid conversion.
(I don't know, though. There's this defiant part of me that doesn't want to play into it all. Grad school is so much about posturing that it's not even funny. But then I envision myself jobless, and... D:)
I can’t speak much in this matter because I can’t say I have changed terribly… but finishing high school did teach me a few things. New grounds means complete freedom. How many movies based on this plot exist, only a million, but that doesn’t make it any less true.
I was with my classmates practically all the way since kindergarten and no matter what I tried to do, I was already categorized, tagged and NOTHING would let them see me in any other light.
Once I finished, I realized… They could suck my inexistent dick D:I’m not a label, I’m a person. I can change as much as I want, or as little as I want. In your case, you need this to do what you want in the future? The GO FOR IT, sistah. The end justifies the means, and it’s not like if you’ll literally need go to a toga party and swallow down full kegs to get what you want (unless you are, ah… into that sort of stuff? Feel free to do it if you want). Talking in public is always a nervous time, and I’m sure the universe specifically designed it to make you feel as if everyone thinks
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You make some amazingly-valid points, and you make them well! :D A lot of it does stem from high school. I went to a place where few of my friends went, and I just shut down and disappeared into myself, and once people knew me like that, I was stuck. I didn't know how to be any other way. (I think a lot of it had to do with grade school, where I was known as the class clown, and I quickly realized that they didn't want me any other way [such as sad or upset. No, I was the one supposed to cheer them up. How dare I do anything other than smile and laugh
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I'm super glad I am of help! It's sad I'm usually good at giving advice yet so bad at taking it but I guess this stems from the fact I'm not sure what I want to do with my life as of yet.
... I do want to read that fic when it happens though. So very, very much! Don't worry for how much it takes though, if it's half as funny as the fic the universe is set with (terrible with names, I call it 'meet the sabaku's' XD)it'll be well worth it!
I used to be the same way, and I still sort of am laid back and quiet. I also continue to dislike public speaking, but it's more of an annoyance to me now, than something terrifying. I just don't like reading out loud, and I'm a horrible salesperson because I can't muster up the enthusiasm required. To hide my discomfort, I speak very blandly, and I always look stoic, but when I'm with people I know, I'm a regular chatterbox. Basically, you just have to fake it. If I pretend like I'm not afraid, or disinterested, people tend to buy it.
I dunno, it's tough to break out of, but it's definitely doable.
That's the thing. I think it's more of a habit than a real issue anymore (I mean, it's definitely still a real issue and all...but not for any real, legitimate reason.) Which is kind of funny, seeing as I know this. Looks like I'm just going to have to fake myself out of it ^_^
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I was the first to start conversations, ask questions no one else would and organise studies and gatherings. It really changed me for the better and made me a more positive person. You have a great, new and exciting opportunity here and i'm sure you have the personality to match. I say go for it and get yourself out there! Good luck!
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Best of luck in grad school though, but honestly be yourself. :) Let yourself change gradually or it'll be like stretching a rubber band. If you're meant to be more quiet that's fine, as for taking what you want, being that out going, go for it.
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Baby steps.
But thanks, kaze_no_tora. I always greatly appreciate your input. You are a voice of reason! :) Gradual change is better than a rapid conversion.
(I don't know, though. There's this defiant part of me that doesn't want to play into it all. Grad school is so much about posturing that it's not even funny. But then I envision myself jobless, and... D:)
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I was with my classmates practically all the way since kindergarten and no matter what I tried to do, I was already categorized, tagged and NOTHING would let them see me in any other light.
Once I finished, I realized… They could suck my inexistent dick D:I’m not a label, I’m a person. I can change as much as I want, or as little as I want. In your case, you need this to do what you want in the future? The GO FOR IT, sistah. The end justifies the means, and it’s not like if you’ll literally need go to a toga party and swallow down full kegs to get what you want (unless you are, ah… into that sort of stuff? Feel free to do it if you want). Talking in public is always a nervous time, and I’m sure the universe specifically designed it to make you feel as if everyone thinks ( ... )
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... I do want to read that fic when it happens though. So very, very much! Don't worry for how much it takes though, if it's half as funny as the fic the universe is set with (terrible with names, I call it 'meet the sabaku's' XD)it'll be well worth it!
And srsly, call me Panur or Yuta XD I go by both
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I dunno, it's tough to break out of, but it's definitely doable.
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