Fic: Where Were You?
Characters: Matt/Aiden
Rating: R
Summary: The night Aiden left X Factor.
Word Count: 1500+
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement, this didn't happen in real life.
Every time I see her, my stomach turns upside down. She gives him a wink while he smiles back at her. I know I should be happy for him but I just can’t get myself to actually feel the way a normal friend would do. Now I’m here, feeling sick and holding my tears as I watch them together. She came to see him the night I won the X Factor and at first he didn’t want to see her. I knew he had broken up with her but he never told me the reason why he did it. He spent the night with me and I didn’t know if he wanted to celebrate the fact that I won or that he just wanted to spent time with me to avoid her.
Three days had past and I decided to bring him a visit. I spent four hours driving to his hometown just to get hurt, like a knife stabbing you in the heart. Obviously I didn’t know that when I was driving my way up to him. I was so excited to see him, I hadn’t told him about it because I wanted it to be a surprise. When I finally arrived, I got out of my car, took a deep breath and knocked on the door. It took him a while to finally open the door and it revealed the image of her clinging onto his arms.
I wanted to run away, run away from the image I’ve just seen, run away to not get any more pain but it was already too late. I smiled and gave him a tight hug while I tried to hide my pain and sadness. That day he told me he got back with her. I asked him if he was sure he did the right thing. He looked into my eyes and nodded. I could see sparks in his eyes and I just wanted to get out of there, drown my sorrow away with a glass of alcohol and accept the fact he’s never going to be mine. Instead I said I was happy for him and blamed myself for all what had happened.
When I heard the news he would be on the tour I was confused by my own thoughts. I was so happy to get to see him more often and actually stand with him on stage singing our hearts away but I wasn’t looking forward to be seeing her. I hated myself for thinking like this. It’s been months and I should be moving on. I was planning to move on, my friends even begged me to, but all of that changed when rehearsals began and he came up to me with a smile plastered all over his beautiful face.
I haven’t been happy for all these months. Working on my album and doing this tour did cheer me up a bit but I knew deep down I was still unhappy and I didn’t know how to change that. During the tour I acted like I was the happiest person in the world but what hit me the most is that all of them fell for it. He fell for it. The person I needed the most at this moment.
I started to avoid every single phonecall, even the ones from Ali, my best friend. I couldn’t eat and I barely slept. The only time I came out of my hotel room was for rehearsals or when we had a gig. The tour was coming to an end and I told myself to get a grip and a least enjoy the last week of the tour. The last week with him.
I sat on my bed, arms around my knees and my face buried in them. Tears were streaming down my face and I didn’t even wanted to stop it. This was pathetic. I was pathetic to even think I could be in a relationship with him. Without thinking it through I sent him a text. This isn’t going to happen, is it?As soon as I sent it I started regretting it. Minutes pasted by and I still haven’t received a reply from him. I screwed it up. What would he think of me now? I have to admit it to him, tell him about my feelings for him. I must tell him because I can’t lie to him. He either would accept it and tell me we were just friends or be disgusted or even scared and leave me. And that was the last thing I wanted to happen.
I heard a soft knock on the door and before I could answer it he came into the room. ‘What was that about?’ He asked worried. Embarrassed I looked down and shrugged my shoulders. ‘It was nothing, forget about it.’ I whispered. He kept on staring at me and it was like suddenly it hit him. It was like he suddenly saw all the sadness and pain I’ve been going through the last few months. He rushed over to me and strangled me into a hug. ‘Where were you?’ Once I spoke tears broke free and this time I didn’t want them to hide. ‘Where were you, Aid? I needed you so badly.’ I cried. This wasn’t just me wanting him. This was me needing my friend. ‘I thought you, out of everyone, would be the one to notice but you didn’t.’ He let go of me and looked me straight into the eyes. ‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. What is the matter, you have to tell me, Matt. I can’t bear to see you like this.’ I could tell he was worried. ‘I’m just..’ I broke away and started thinking about what I was going to say. ‘I’m just not happy lately. It’s nothing, it’ll be over soon.’ I said. ‘Don’t lie to me.’ It hit me right in the face. I promised myself I wouldn’t lie to him. ‘I’ve noticed you were unhappy Matt. Of course I did! You acted like you were but you really weren’t. You barely sleep and you actually lost weight! I just didn’t know what to do and I’m sorry about that. Just you need to remember that you can tell me anything.’
‘How is Lara?’ I asked him out of nowhere. He raised a eyebrow and looked at me in shock. ‘What has that got to do with this!? Don’t avoid this, Matt. It won’t help anything.’ ‘It has everything to do with this.’ I murmured. He backed away and sat down right beside me. ‘Why is that?’ ‘You haven’t even noticed?’ Fuck, how could I be so stupid? ‘Notice what?’ He asked. I sighed deeply. ‘You know what Aid?’ I stood up and walked towards the door. ‘I’ll leave it here. I don’t want to lose you. You mean the world to me and I don’t want to lose you because of a stupid crush.’ The words came out before I knew it. ‘You- you have a crush on me?’ He stuttered. I didn’t want to answer it and my hand reached for the door. ‘Don’t fucking dare to walk out of the door now!’ He sounded angry. I didn’t want him to be angry. ‘I’m so sorry. Please, let’s just forget about it. You’re one of my best friends. I don’t want to lose you.’ I heard him sighing and he looked down at his feet. ‘So you’re having a crush on me..’ ‘Yes. Well. Maybe it’s more than a crush.’ He looked up. ‘I might have fallen in love with you.’ I was so ashamed, but I was glad that I finally told him.
‘Shit! How long did you have those feelings for me?’ ‘A few months.’ ‘How long?’ I took a deep breath. ‘Since november.’ I said softly. He buried his face in his hands. I was so scared. What was he thinking? What was he going to do now? I prepared myself for the worst. ‘Lara..’ He started. ‘You want to know why I got back with her?’ He was looking at me again and I felt relieved. I could tell he wasn’t angry or disgusted. ‘I got back with her, to move on.’ ‘From what?’ ‘From you! From my feelings for you!’ He shouted. ‘And now you’re telling me you feel the same?’ I didn’t know how to answer him. I wasn’t expecting any of this. ‘I’m sorry, Aid. I know I screwed things up, and you are so happy now and I didn’t have the right to tell you this.’ I said. ‘Will you just shut up?’ ‘I’m sorry.’ I whispered. ‘No, stop saying that. It just took me by surprise. I never got over you. All the time I was with Lara I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about how it would’ve been if I was in a relationship with you. And now the guy whom I’ve been dreaming of since Australia is telling me he actually likes me? I’m just overwhelmed.’ I couldn’t help but smile at him. ‘He doesn’t just likes you. He loves you.’ I admitted. ‘He does?’ I nodded. Once again he rushed over to me, not because he was worried but because he needed to. His lips crashing on mine, one hand behind my neck and the other slowly pushing me onto the bed as our kiss became more passionate by every second.