More emotional fuckery...
Just trying to sort out my head. When I was little my dad was my hero. Now he's pretty much the sneaky, lying slimball he used to preach against. I don't know how he went from a religious, quiet man to a theiving, adultering prick. I still really don't know how I feel about my dad anymore. You'd think as much as I had to learn about introspection, Rogers, Jung and warm fuzzies I'd be able to sort out my emotions. Fact is it's almost been a year since all this happened and I'm not progressing.
It doesnt make me feel any better that my mom feels its up to her to make my dad do things for me. She makes him call me, send me things on holidays. I know he wouldnt do it on his own. I don't care. When he's ready to start sucking up to me, I'll let him. At least then he'd be doing it of his own will. But mom called him yesterday to remind him. He left me a birthday card in the mail box today. It didn't even have a stamp on it which means he drove by. I'm really both upset and glad I missed it. God it hurts real bad sometimes.
It doesnt make me feel any better that my mom feels its up to her to make my dad do things for me. She makes him call me, send me things on holidays. I know he wouldnt do it on his own. I don't care. When he's ready to start sucking up to me, I'll let him. At least then he'd be doing it of his own will. But mom called him yesterday to remind him. He left me a birthday card in the mail box today. It didn't even have a stamp on it which means he drove by. I'm really both upset and glad I missed it. God it hurts real bad sometimes.