it's been a while

[fallenangel0502]

Dyke

A long narrow hollow dug out from the ground, used in ancient times to denote boundaries, the reaches of a regime.  Used to separate dignitaries in castles from peasants in their kingdoms.  Used to separate, to protect from otherness.  The hollow may be built to resist encroachments from the sea. To protect us from nature.  The hollow may be

Comments

[ladytairngire]

what aspect are you struggling with?

[kvschwartz]

I think this is really good.

You posted this a long time ago, so I don't know if you're still interested in critique. If not, fine.

If you are ... I guess I'd suggest tightening the language. A little, not a lot. Get rid of a few of the repetitions. (Example: "boundaries , the reaches of a regime.") If you decide greater concision kills the mood you're attempting, you can always return to this draft.

Also: I noticed from a brief look at your lj that you are at Interlochen. That's cool. I attended their summer camp when I was in junior high after my first year of high school.

[kvschwartz]

Edit: "when I was in junior AND after my first year of high school." In case that's still unclear, I went three consecutive summers.