False Alarm
As the panicked leadership followed the age old doctrine of " shoot first and ask questions later", I walked over to a console to examine this new arrival which the computers were unable to identify. The answer should have been obvious, even to humans; the ship did not match any in the database because it was an amalgam of different parts, subject to regular upgrades and modifications.
"The unidentified ship is Surak's Razor," I stated. "Hold your fire."
"The one does not automatically require the other," Vice Admiral Alynna Nechayev replied. "Yes, that may be your ship - parts of it, at least - but who's flying it now? It's obviously not under your control."
"It's obviously not under anybody's control," I explained. "It's drifting in a straight line with its drives inactive, nor are there any signs that shields, sensors, or communications systems are being employed. A rescue operation seems more appropriate than-"
I was interrupted by a hail from the USS Magellan. "Someone has just emerged from the unknown vessel!" their communications officer shouted across subspace. "He's not wearing a space suit! He's carrying what appear to be a stack of poster boards …"
"It has to be Commander
Lothar of the USS Murgatroid!" said Captain Leslie Wong of the USS Cairo, also in-system. "Turn off your sensors at once. Do not scan the posters!" She ordered her own ship not to scan Lothar or receive any of his information.
A shuttle, piloted manually without the computers being allowed to see Lothar or Surak's Razor, was dispatched to rescue whomever was aboard. Or, possibly, to rescue the rest of the fleet should Lothar resort to other attempts to attract attention.
"If that's not the ISS Voyager," said Admiral Kathryn Janeway slowly, "then where is she?"