"Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."
Private:
Hmm. I could have sworn I had more than 102 bottles of wine left. And I know for a fact that Alicia didn't drink any. Perhaps the house elf has been at it? Now to find out which one.
Private hex ends
As usual, Alicia is completely missing the point when it comes to money. We've found a buyer. The missus and the agent are negotiating to make sure that your rent isn't raised, you're not auctioned off as slaves or otherwise thrown out on your arse. Et cetera. This however operates under the premise that you have money to save in the first place. Which not all of you do.
However:
This is where, I, Terence Howell Higgs, Esq., come in. Being the currently rather bored generous and selfless soul that I am very occasionally, I am offering you a way below to make money. You receive the following:
- - 25 Galleons if you've hexed or punched Smith.
- 15 Galleons if you've snogged a Patil twin. 25 if it's Padma.
- 10 Galleons if you can get the Russian Poliakoff to smile at you.
- 20 Galleons if you can separate Zabini from his bathrobe.
- 10 Galleons if you make it impossible for Daphne Greengrass to smoke.
- 50 Galleons if you can make Jones use the word "sex" in a sentence.
- 100 Galleons if you are Eddie Carmichael and manage not to speak for twenty-four hours.
- 50 Galleons if you are Cho Chang, drink veritasium and then talk about your love life.
- 10 Galleons if you are Anthony Goldstein and shut up about your love life.
- 20 Galleons if you are Johnson or Fawcett and wear a nun's habit for an evening out.
- 25 50 Galleons to chop off Jordan's dreads.
- 50 Galleons to cook and eat Smith's kitten. An additional 150 Galleons if Smith's kitten is cooked and eaten by Smith.
- 10 Galleons if you hug that Hufflepuff - whatever his name is. The one who wrts lk ths.
- 15 Galleons if you tackle a Gryffindor.
EVIDENCE, photographic or otherwise, is REQUIRED FOR ALL OF THE ABOVE.