Brought to you by the Letter ‘F’
Title: Brought to you by the Letter ‘F’
Fandom: RPS
Story: Highway: Reconnecting 13.04
Characters: Alan Davies and Robert Sean Leonard
Authors: michelleann68 + evila_elf = evila_ann
Prompt: coclaim100 83 Sacrifice
Word Count: 2500
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dinner is eaten, flatulence is discussed, and feelings are touched upon.
Authors’ Notes: Feel free to friend us if you want to read a day ahead of the communities.
Where it all began:
Big table of prompts is here:
Order of the story is here:
Previous story:
Balancing Act
“Honey, I’m home!”
Robert chuckled and stepped from the kitchen to greet Alan. “I slaved away all day. I hope you appreciate...” He could smell the beans and ran back into the kitchen to save them.
The flat smelled wonderful and Alan followed Robert into the kitchen, smiling at the activity. The kitchen was remarkably clean, just a few bowels cluttering the surfaces. Alan peered over Robert’s shoulder, hunting out what smelled so good. “Something Thai?”
“Well, the noodles are. The beans looked interesting and have basil, so maybe that is what you smell. Dessert is … American, I guess?” He gave Alan a small shrug and smile and started to clean up.
Alan caught Robert by the arm after he put the hot pan in the sink. “I missed you today.” He gave him a quick kiss to the lips.
Robert stared back, unsure what to do next. Was this an overture to a thaw? Or was Alan just being nice, trying to find a way to decrease their tensions? Robert pushed a curl off of Alan’s face and leaned in, kissing his cheek and embracing him. “I missed you today as well, but it was nice to get settled. Did things go well?”
Alan melted into the embrace. He just wanted to stand there and feel home all around him. It took him a minute or so to remember he had been asked a question. He reluctantly pulled back before answering. “Everything was good. It looks like I will be in a movie that will film at the end of this summer, and the QI meet went well. Stephen was not there, which is why we actually ended on time. He will be flying back tonight for the filming on Thursday. I have notes I need to review for the day. I thought I could do that tonight after dinner?”
“Sounds good. How about you wash up and I will get dinner on the table?”
“Yes, sir.” Alan joked and turned, heading down the hall. He changed into a track suit and washed his face and hands. He looked in the mirror and cursed at his reflection. He wanted it to be the way it was. Things seemed so delicate between them. They should be more solid then ever after all they had gone through, but this felt like New York all over again: Both too afraid to make a move that might scare the other one off. Alan closed his eyes and tried to come up with a way to get them back to the same comfort level that they had developed.
Alan thought about calling his sister sometime later in the evening, but he dismissed the idea. He had no idea why he was feeling so hesitant to proclaim to the world that they were back together. Somehow it felt like they were both heading towards each other but, like the same poles of a magnet, not quite able to connect. He still couldn’t tell if they would both survive with the relationship intact. He was hopeful, but they both had a lot of work to do.
The food was already laid out on the table and Alan pulled up a chair. “I’m starved and this looks wonderful. Thanks for cooking.”
Robert sat across from Alan and reached out to lay his hand over Alan’s, fingers brushing the knuckles. “Happy to do it, but you were lacking in fresh veggies and fruit.”
“Haven’t much been to the shops lately.”
“We could go tomorrow, stock up?” Robert suggested, picking up his fork and waiting for Alan to do the same.
“Shite, I forgot to ask you. Everything has been going so fast. A friend of mine lent me his vacation home in Portugal for a fortnight. I am supposed to leave on Saturday.” He swallowed, even though he had yet to take a bite from his plate. “Do you want to come with me? It is a beautiful home up on a peak, overlooking the ocean.”
First Robert felt disappointment, then it sunk in that Alan was asking for him to go along, not stay behind. He smiled broadly. Maybe that is what they needed: someplace where neither felt like home. Neutral territory to make new memories. “Sounds perfect, but I am not sure I have the right clothes.”
“Clothes? Who said anything about clothes?” Alan joked, taking a bite of the pasta.
Robert blushed a little and busied himself with pushing some of the food around on his plate before he took a small bite and looked up again. “Well, we at least need something to wear on the flights. I guess I have enough for that.”
“Did you go clothes shopping?”
“A little. Not enough time to do a lot. I picked up underclothes and socks mostly. Was going to head out and get pants and shirts tomorrow, unless you had plans for us?”
What he really wanted was to lie in bed the rest of the day and reconnect, but he had no idea if Robert was ready. Or himself, for that matter. “No, not really. We can see what happens.” That seemed to be their motto lately.
Alan sucked in a stray noodle. The basil was the perfect marriage in the pesto. It tasted fresh and wonderful. “This is really good. Hits the spot.” He poked his fork into the beans taking a large bite of them as well, savoring them.
“I was not sure what to make, I looked through a few of your cookbooks and finally settled on this. Not even sure if they go together, but save room for desert.” Robert took his last bite and sat back, watching Alan enjoy the meal.
“It is really good. I have been eating out of pouches for a while, so fresh food tastes wonderful. Thank you.”
The dryer buzzed and Robert excused himself to get out the clothes and fold them before putting them away. By the time he returned, Alan had started the dishes and put away the leftovers.
Robert watched him dry the last pan and smiled at how domestic this all felt. His heart fluttered. “I could have...”
“You cooked, the least I can do is clean up. I couldn’t help peeking at dessert. Looks wonderful! Maybe we can eat in a little while? I want to let dinner settle. I’m stuffed.” Alan walked over towards Robert and patted Robert’s stomach before walking past him into the living room.
Robert turned and watched Alan retrieve a folder with his QI notes and flop down on the settee, getting settled. Robert slowly walked to the bedroom to grab a novel he was reading before quietly joining him. Robert sat on the opposite side of the settee and leaned back, resting his head on the back cushions. He gave Alan a sidelong glance and opened the book. Flipping to the marked page, he tried to focus on the words in front of him. What he really wanted to do was watch Alan, who was deep in thought, fiddling with a manila folder, pulling out pages of white paper and reading over them before setting them in a pile on his lap.
Just when Robert was starting to get back into his book, Alan snorted. “Care to share with the rest of us?”
“My pleasure. And I quote, ‘The noises commonly associated with flatulence are caused by the vibration of the anal sphincter, and not by the buttocks. The sound varies depending on the tightness of the sphincter muscle and velocity of the gas being propelled, as well as other factors such as water and body fat. The auditory pitch, or sound, of the flatulence outburst can also be affected by the anal embouchure.’”
“Thanks for that.” Robert wrinkled his nose, but a smirk tickled the edges of his lips. “The letter ‘F’ this year?”
“And all of its delicious possibilities.”
Robert rolled his eyes, looking back to his book and reading the same paragraph two more times.
“Ha! ’An apocryphal story about Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford, is that he farted while swearing loyalty to Queen Elizabeth I and consequently went into self-imposed exile for seven years. After his return, the Queen was reported to have reassured de Vere: ‘My Lord, I had quite forgotten the fart.’’”
“You are enjoying this.”
“What man would not? You know you want more fun facts about farts.” Alan reached over to poke Robert in the ribs and they both laughed.
Robert finally decided to abandon his book and focus on Alan. He turned sideways, bending his legs up so he could face Alan. “What other ‘F’ words are on tap tomorrow?”
“Not sure, enjoying the fart facts too much.” Alan looked back down and chuckled.
“Do I even want to know?”
Alan tilted his head towards Robert. “Who doesn’t? In Dante's Divine Comedy, the last line of Inferno Chapter XXI reads: ed elli avea del cul fatto trombetta ("and he made a trumpet of his buttocks"), in the last example, the use of this natural body function underlined a demoniac condition.”
“I actually knew that,” Robert added, giving Alan a wink.
“When did you read Inferno?”
“At Columbia.”
“You still remember that line?”
“It was a great time. I learned so much and I worked steady when I was not in school. I never wanted it to end.”
“But reality?”
“Yes, and I needed to start making more money. Gabby and I were dating and I wanted us to have enough money to get married.”
“That never happened.” Alan tried not to wince for pointing out the obvious.
“No, but...did I tell you I ran into Gabby?” With all the excitement, Robert had almost forgotten.
Alan sat up. “No. We really haven’t had time to catch up. Was she in LA?”
“No, I flew to New York before flying here. I was heading to my favorite café and she spotted me. We had a nice conversation, caught up. She is really happy. And...” Robert looked down, breaking eye contact for a moment before scooting closer to Alan and looking back up. “I told her. About you. Us. About how I screwed up, and how we both got lost. I did it and, she wished me well.” He shook his head, still amazed, finally having time to let that one little fact sink in for himself.
“Wow,” Alan whispered, shocked and not knowing what else to say.
“Should I feel bad that she didn’t seem very surprised?”
Alan smiled. “How is she doing?”
Robert smiled back, feeling a wave of warmth, replacing the icy conditions that had settled around them. “She met someone. It sounds really serious. She actually looked happier then I had seen her in years.”
“That is great, Robert.” Alan reached out his hand and clasped it over Robert’s, squeezing gently. Alan returned to his notes, his mind elsewhere.
Robert hesitated a moment before reaching out to touch the bottom of Alan’s shirt sleeve, playing with the fabric between his thumb and forefinger. “Alan, there is something else I wanted to tell you.”
Alan looked up. Robert sounded really serious and that made him nervous. Was this something he really wanted to hear? He turned towards Robert, so that their knees were touching. He raised his eyes to Robert’s, trying to read his expression. “Of course, tell me anything. What’s wrong?”
Robert glanced away, as if trying to find strength from the far wall. He took a deep breath and turned his intent gaze back to Alan. “I am probably making more of this than I should...When I decided to come here and talk to you, I knew that to do that, I had to be honest. Not just with myself, but with people who are close to me.”
Alan rested his hand on Robert’s shoulder and squeezed, trying to give him support, not rushing him. A blanket of silence seemed to descend around them. Alan could hear his heart, thumping in his chest.
“I decided to make one last stop. I had to, for both our sakes.”
“And you ran into Gabby?”
“Yes, but that was a surprise. She really helped me, at least to gather my thoughts, before I went to New Jersey.” Robert worried his lip. The entire conversation with his mom was racing through his head. Snippets standing out. “To my parents’ home. My dad was at a neighbor’s, so I sat in the kitchen I grew up in and told my mom that I loved you and was going to do my damnedest to get you back.”
Alan felt tears prickling his eyes. Once again, Robert had shocked him in the space of only a few minutes. “Did she not take it well?”
Robert silently shook his head.
“She didn’t kill you...that has to count for something.”
“I did get you a Thanksgiving invite, but I think that is just because…” Robert took off his glasses and rubbed both of his eyes with a thumb and forefinger. “It’s hard for her…She doesn’t think this will work. Hell, I don’t even...”
Alan cupped Robert’s cheek and stoked his chin with his thumb. “Robert, we are here, working on this. All that matters is this, right now. Us talking, sharing with each other. We can make this work.”
Robert put his glasses back on and returned to the safer subject of his mother. “In some ways, I expected more from her. She brought us up to be tolerant and understanding, but I really was not surprised. Was one of the reasons why it took so long. I guess I was afraid of my expectations being met and … they were.”
Alan leaned forward and pressed his lips to Robert’s. A gentle reassuring kiss. His hand slid to the nape of Robert’s neck and then down his back, Robert relaxing a little against him. Alan rubbed his hand up and down Robert’s back. He thought that these last few days must have been terrible for Robert, all the stress of putting himself out there and not knowing if he would have a safe place to land.
Robert pulled back slowly. His cheeks were flushed a little, eyes slightly damp. He took a shaky breath and moved to stand up, feeling a little overwhelmed. “I think it is time for dessert,” he said in a rush and headed to the kitchen before Alan could stop him.
In the kitchen, back to the cupboards, Robert looked down at his hands. They were trembling. His whole body was. He took a few slow deep breaths, squeezing his eyes closed. Normally he would go out for a nice long walk. He didn’t have that luxury here, in the tiny kitchen, concerned boyfriend on the other side of the walls. He started to pace; sink to fridge, fridge to sink. He knew he was overreacting. But he couldn’t help it. The biggest and best thing that had ever happened to him was at stake.
Fact on Flatulence are from here
13.05 Falling Again
Fandom: RPS
Story: Highway: Reconnecting 13.04
Characters: Alan Davies and Robert Sean Leonard
Authors: michelleann68 + evila_elf = evila_ann
Prompt: coclaim100 83 Sacrifice
Word Count: 2500
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dinner is eaten, flatulence is discussed, and feelings are touched upon.
Authors’ Notes: Feel free to friend us if you want to read a day ahead of the communities.
Where it all began:
Big table of prompts is here:
Order of the story is here:
Previous story:
Balancing Act
“Honey, I’m home!”
Robert chuckled and stepped from the kitchen to greet Alan. “I slaved away all day. I hope you appreciate...” He could smell the beans and ran back into the kitchen to save them.
The flat smelled wonderful and Alan followed Robert into the kitchen, smiling at the activity. The kitchen was remarkably clean, just a few bowels cluttering the surfaces. Alan peered over Robert’s shoulder, hunting out what smelled so good. “Something Thai?”
“Well, the noodles are. The beans looked interesting and have basil, so maybe that is what you smell. Dessert is … American, I guess?” He gave Alan a small shrug and smile and started to clean up.
Alan caught Robert by the arm after he put the hot pan in the sink. “I missed you today.” He gave him a quick kiss to the lips.
Robert stared back, unsure what to do next. Was this an overture to a thaw? Or was Alan just being nice, trying to find a way to decrease their tensions? Robert pushed a curl off of Alan’s face and leaned in, kissing his cheek and embracing him. “I missed you today as well, but it was nice to get settled. Did things go well?”
Alan melted into the embrace. He just wanted to stand there and feel home all around him. It took him a minute or so to remember he had been asked a question. He reluctantly pulled back before answering. “Everything was good. It looks like I will be in a movie that will film at the end of this summer, and the QI meet went well. Stephen was not there, which is why we actually ended on time. He will be flying back tonight for the filming on Thursday. I have notes I need to review for the day. I thought I could do that tonight after dinner?”
“Sounds good. How about you wash up and I will get dinner on the table?”
“Yes, sir.” Alan joked and turned, heading down the hall. He changed into a track suit and washed his face and hands. He looked in the mirror and cursed at his reflection. He wanted it to be the way it was. Things seemed so delicate between them. They should be more solid then ever after all they had gone through, but this felt like New York all over again: Both too afraid to make a move that might scare the other one off. Alan closed his eyes and tried to come up with a way to get them back to the same comfort level that they had developed.
Alan thought about calling his sister sometime later in the evening, but he dismissed the idea. He had no idea why he was feeling so hesitant to proclaim to the world that they were back together. Somehow it felt like they were both heading towards each other but, like the same poles of a magnet, not quite able to connect. He still couldn’t tell if they would both survive with the relationship intact. He was hopeful, but they both had a lot of work to do.
The food was already laid out on the table and Alan pulled up a chair. “I’m starved and this looks wonderful. Thanks for cooking.”
Robert sat across from Alan and reached out to lay his hand over Alan’s, fingers brushing the knuckles. “Happy to do it, but you were lacking in fresh veggies and fruit.”
“Haven’t much been to the shops lately.”
“We could go tomorrow, stock up?” Robert suggested, picking up his fork and waiting for Alan to do the same.
“Shite, I forgot to ask you. Everything has been going so fast. A friend of mine lent me his vacation home in Portugal for a fortnight. I am supposed to leave on Saturday.” He swallowed, even though he had yet to take a bite from his plate. “Do you want to come with me? It is a beautiful home up on a peak, overlooking the ocean.”
First Robert felt disappointment, then it sunk in that Alan was asking for him to go along, not stay behind. He smiled broadly. Maybe that is what they needed: someplace where neither felt like home. Neutral territory to make new memories. “Sounds perfect, but I am not sure I have the right clothes.”
“Clothes? Who said anything about clothes?” Alan joked, taking a bite of the pasta.
Robert blushed a little and busied himself with pushing some of the food around on his plate before he took a small bite and looked up again. “Well, we at least need something to wear on the flights. I guess I have enough for that.”
“Did you go clothes shopping?”
“A little. Not enough time to do a lot. I picked up underclothes and socks mostly. Was going to head out and get pants and shirts tomorrow, unless you had plans for us?”
What he really wanted was to lie in bed the rest of the day and reconnect, but he had no idea if Robert was ready. Or himself, for that matter. “No, not really. We can see what happens.” That seemed to be their motto lately.
Alan sucked in a stray noodle. The basil was the perfect marriage in the pesto. It tasted fresh and wonderful. “This is really good. Hits the spot.” He poked his fork into the beans taking a large bite of them as well, savoring them.
“I was not sure what to make, I looked through a few of your cookbooks and finally settled on this. Not even sure if they go together, but save room for desert.” Robert took his last bite and sat back, watching Alan enjoy the meal.
“It is really good. I have been eating out of pouches for a while, so fresh food tastes wonderful. Thank you.”
The dryer buzzed and Robert excused himself to get out the clothes and fold them before putting them away. By the time he returned, Alan had started the dishes and put away the leftovers.
Robert watched him dry the last pan and smiled at how domestic this all felt. His heart fluttered. “I could have...”
“You cooked, the least I can do is clean up. I couldn’t help peeking at dessert. Looks wonderful! Maybe we can eat in a little while? I want to let dinner settle. I’m stuffed.” Alan walked over towards Robert and patted Robert’s stomach before walking past him into the living room.
Robert turned and watched Alan retrieve a folder with his QI notes and flop down on the settee, getting settled. Robert slowly walked to the bedroom to grab a novel he was reading before quietly joining him. Robert sat on the opposite side of the settee and leaned back, resting his head on the back cushions. He gave Alan a sidelong glance and opened the book. Flipping to the marked page, he tried to focus on the words in front of him. What he really wanted to do was watch Alan, who was deep in thought, fiddling with a manila folder, pulling out pages of white paper and reading over them before setting them in a pile on his lap.
Just when Robert was starting to get back into his book, Alan snorted. “Care to share with the rest of us?”
“My pleasure. And I quote, ‘The noises commonly associated with flatulence are caused by the vibration of the anal sphincter, and not by the buttocks. The sound varies depending on the tightness of the sphincter muscle and velocity of the gas being propelled, as well as other factors such as water and body fat. The auditory pitch, or sound, of the flatulence outburst can also be affected by the anal embouchure.’”
“Thanks for that.” Robert wrinkled his nose, but a smirk tickled the edges of his lips. “The letter ‘F’ this year?”
“And all of its delicious possibilities.”
Robert rolled his eyes, looking back to his book and reading the same paragraph two more times.
“Ha! ’An apocryphal story about Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford, is that he farted while swearing loyalty to Queen Elizabeth I and consequently went into self-imposed exile for seven years. After his return, the Queen was reported to have reassured de Vere: ‘My Lord, I had quite forgotten the fart.’’”
“You are enjoying this.”
“What man would not? You know you want more fun facts about farts.” Alan reached over to poke Robert in the ribs and they both laughed.
Robert finally decided to abandon his book and focus on Alan. He turned sideways, bending his legs up so he could face Alan. “What other ‘F’ words are on tap tomorrow?”
“Not sure, enjoying the fart facts too much.” Alan looked back down and chuckled.
“Do I even want to know?”
Alan tilted his head towards Robert. “Who doesn’t? In Dante's Divine Comedy, the last line of Inferno Chapter XXI reads: ed elli avea del cul fatto trombetta ("and he made a trumpet of his buttocks"), in the last example, the use of this natural body function underlined a demoniac condition.”
“I actually knew that,” Robert added, giving Alan a wink.
“When did you read Inferno?”
“At Columbia.”
“You still remember that line?”
“It was a great time. I learned so much and I worked steady when I was not in school. I never wanted it to end.”
“But reality?”
“Yes, and I needed to start making more money. Gabby and I were dating and I wanted us to have enough money to get married.”
“That never happened.” Alan tried not to wince for pointing out the obvious.
“No, but...did I tell you I ran into Gabby?” With all the excitement, Robert had almost forgotten.
Alan sat up. “No. We really haven’t had time to catch up. Was she in LA?”
“No, I flew to New York before flying here. I was heading to my favorite café and she spotted me. We had a nice conversation, caught up. She is really happy. And...” Robert looked down, breaking eye contact for a moment before scooting closer to Alan and looking back up. “I told her. About you. Us. About how I screwed up, and how we both got lost. I did it and, she wished me well.” He shook his head, still amazed, finally having time to let that one little fact sink in for himself.
“Wow,” Alan whispered, shocked and not knowing what else to say.
“Should I feel bad that she didn’t seem very surprised?”
Alan smiled. “How is she doing?”
Robert smiled back, feeling a wave of warmth, replacing the icy conditions that had settled around them. “She met someone. It sounds really serious. She actually looked happier then I had seen her in years.”
“That is great, Robert.” Alan reached out his hand and clasped it over Robert’s, squeezing gently. Alan returned to his notes, his mind elsewhere.
Robert hesitated a moment before reaching out to touch the bottom of Alan’s shirt sleeve, playing with the fabric between his thumb and forefinger. “Alan, there is something else I wanted to tell you.”
Alan looked up. Robert sounded really serious and that made him nervous. Was this something he really wanted to hear? He turned towards Robert, so that their knees were touching. He raised his eyes to Robert’s, trying to read his expression. “Of course, tell me anything. What’s wrong?”
Robert glanced away, as if trying to find strength from the far wall. He took a deep breath and turned his intent gaze back to Alan. “I am probably making more of this than I should...When I decided to come here and talk to you, I knew that to do that, I had to be honest. Not just with myself, but with people who are close to me.”
Alan rested his hand on Robert’s shoulder and squeezed, trying to give him support, not rushing him. A blanket of silence seemed to descend around them. Alan could hear his heart, thumping in his chest.
“I decided to make one last stop. I had to, for both our sakes.”
“And you ran into Gabby?”
“Yes, but that was a surprise. She really helped me, at least to gather my thoughts, before I went to New Jersey.” Robert worried his lip. The entire conversation with his mom was racing through his head. Snippets standing out. “To my parents’ home. My dad was at a neighbor’s, so I sat in the kitchen I grew up in and told my mom that I loved you and was going to do my damnedest to get you back.”
Alan felt tears prickling his eyes. Once again, Robert had shocked him in the space of only a few minutes. “Did she not take it well?”
Robert silently shook his head.
“She didn’t kill you...that has to count for something.”
“I did get you a Thanksgiving invite, but I think that is just because…” Robert took off his glasses and rubbed both of his eyes with a thumb and forefinger. “It’s hard for her…She doesn’t think this will work. Hell, I don’t even...”
Alan cupped Robert’s cheek and stoked his chin with his thumb. “Robert, we are here, working on this. All that matters is this, right now. Us talking, sharing with each other. We can make this work.”
Robert put his glasses back on and returned to the safer subject of his mother. “In some ways, I expected more from her. She brought us up to be tolerant and understanding, but I really was not surprised. Was one of the reasons why it took so long. I guess I was afraid of my expectations being met and … they were.”
Alan leaned forward and pressed his lips to Robert’s. A gentle reassuring kiss. His hand slid to the nape of Robert’s neck and then down his back, Robert relaxing a little against him. Alan rubbed his hand up and down Robert’s back. He thought that these last few days must have been terrible for Robert, all the stress of putting himself out there and not knowing if he would have a safe place to land.
Robert pulled back slowly. His cheeks were flushed a little, eyes slightly damp. He took a shaky breath and moved to stand up, feeling a little overwhelmed. “I think it is time for dessert,” he said in a rush and headed to the kitchen before Alan could stop him.
In the kitchen, back to the cupboards, Robert looked down at his hands. They were trembling. His whole body was. He took a few slow deep breaths, squeezing his eyes closed. Normally he would go out for a nice long walk. He didn’t have that luxury here, in the tiny kitchen, concerned boyfriend on the other side of the walls. He started to pace; sink to fridge, fridge to sink. He knew he was overreacting. But he couldn’t help it. The biggest and best thing that had ever happened to him was at stake.
Fact on Flatulence are from here
13.05 Falling Again