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Comments 209

13sugars May 29 2009, 01:14:48 UTC
... What? If you're ill, don't you think you should stay indoors?

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eviltriumphs May 29 2009, 01:20:58 UTC
Of course not! What do you think I am, so flimsy little worm?! The best course of action is to kill a bunch of ghosts until these ailments wear off! Maybe eat some Strawberries or something, but that's only if I get too impatient.

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13sugars May 29 2009, 01:27:16 UTC
Well, I think the ghosts are all gone now, and if you have lead poisoning, dysentery and a slew of other diseases, I think you'd feel better if you just had a whole bowl of strawberries and relaxed for the day.

...

We have strawberries here?

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eviltriumphs May 29 2009, 01:40:23 UTC
I relax by crushing cute little rabbits with my dark powers. I wouldn't even have this stupid lead poisoning if people would stop shooting me!! Stupid guns. Grrr, whatever happened to Heroes using swords?! At least those took actual effort to wield!

Probably. I just either have to find a merchant or see if a ghost will drop one after I kill it.

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loyal_cube May 29 2009, 01:26:50 UTC
Um, excuse me for interrupting, sir...
You should seek care for your ailments before going to beat monsters up... it may improve your mood better then you're assuming.

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eviltriumphs May 29 2009, 01:43:27 UTC
I'm not some weakling!! I can move around just fine, and I can still crush things with the sheer power of my evilness! What I need is a break from my dastardly plotting and slave management to go make small animals suffer.

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loyal_cube May 29 2009, 01:57:03 UTC
I wasn't trying to imply that you're weak, sir.

Evilness? Plotting? Who are you referring to as slaves?

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eviltriumphs May 29 2009, 02:11:49 UTC
I would be a lot more irritated with you if you weren't using honorifics. "Sir" still isn't accurate though; "Evil King" or "Master of Shadows" are more appropriate!

Yes. I'm an Evil King. I'm plotting. It's what I do. I have several slaves, some of whom aren't important enough to introduce themselves to the rest of civilization.

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eviltriumphs May 29 2009, 01:48:13 UTC
The only proper reaction when you first meet your future nefarious overlord and the Evil King is by BOWING DOWN BEFORE ME, TREMBLING IN SHEER TERROR AND BEGGING FOR YOUR LIFE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Or, you know, joining my dark legion. But there's requirements for that.

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eviltriumphs May 29 2009, 02:07:08 UTC
What?! Oh c'mon, the least you can do is let out a squawk of either terror or, if you're Classified as a Hero, righteous fury! DON'T USE FREAKING ELLIPSES! I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT THERE ARE MORE PATHETIC PEOPLE IN EXISTENCE LIKE SLAVE!

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inheritedsword May 29 2009, 01:33:05 UTC
What a way to force people to help you. I'd think more people will avoid you since you threatened them like that. [ Not that he thought something like that could actually happen aside from just...passing around germs. ]

You might do better staying home.

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eviltriumphs May 29 2009, 01:52:48 UTC
You say that like my slaves have a choice. Besides, Ari isn't exempt from training. Maybe some mindless slaughter will help him overcome his stupid teenage angst. If not, hey, it's a fun way to kill an afternoon, hehehehe.

Since when is everyone a Doctor around here?! I know what's good for me!

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inheritedsword May 29 2009, 01:59:40 UTC
They should, since enslaving people is a dumb thing to do. Training is different from mindless slaughter!

I might not be a doctor but it's something called common sense!

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eviltriumphs May 29 2009, 02:20:04 UTC
Slaves get shit done. I don't want to be bothered by some idiotic whining about it either, so don't even think about some stupid morality rant. Your training tactics must suck, because Ari gained a lot of experience, endurance, and skill through stabbing ghosts day-in and day-out!!

I'M NOT "COMMON", SO I USE A DIFFERENT KIND OF SENSE! It's called "Stan's Irrefutable Logic." Today's logic: my chest hurts, and that makes me sad, so I'm going to go kill something so I'll be happy.

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musical_wings May 29 2009, 01:41:58 UTC
Do you have anyone to help you?!

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1/2 eviltriumphs May 29 2009, 01:54:33 UTC
I don't need any help! Ugh, I was just fine when I was TOSSED IN A DAMN DUNGEON AFTER BEING SHOT AND GETTING BLOOD POISONING!! Why does everyone suddenly think I'm some sort of Handsome Stable Boy In Distress?!

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2/2 eviltriumphs May 29 2009, 01:54:55 UTC
--wait. Are you offering?

What are you offering.

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musical_wings May 29 2009, 01:59:39 UTC
[Theres a bit of silence, she's not used to suddenly being yelled at 8│]

I...was offering to help you...but if you don't need help I understand.

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