Comments | evilwitabandaid: (без темы)

evilwitabandaid

(Untitled)

Dec 22, 2005 21:56

There are days when everything just seems to fall into place, days when I am truely happy to be here. Then, there are days in which I have to question why I am still alive. Somtimes I wonder what would be diffrent, how much easier it would have been for everyone else if I had never come out of that hostpital 2 years ago. In the two years since that ( Read more... )

Comments 8

it's relitive...look at the context... spiderlady18 December 23 2005, 10:09:40 UTC

you're right about some things,not quite on target about others in this journal entry.you should realize something about yourself though ( ... )

everything evilwitabandaid December 24 2005, 02:54:31 UTC

we act so diffrently when we are depressed and we hold eachother so high up that somtimes it's hard to show the bad part to eachother in fear that one will loose respect for the other. Yes you have been out of it for months and it seemed for a while that it was never going to end, we don't have the same friendship we did before we moved here. And I have been out of it the last couple of months partially due to that very fact, that we aren't the same and I don't know how to handle it somtimes because I don't know exactly what is going on. I look at you so highly that sometimes I don't want to share my faults because I don't want to loose your respect and that caused a little resentment. A lot has changed in this last week. I don't feel like everything was ok, I never really did I just was also putting on a happy face and trying to make everything ok... that's the point moriah you have to push for happiness to get it, I don't think it just comes our way. I have been pushing for it. I will be happy and I am sick and tired of letting the ( ... )

evilwitabandaid December 24 2005, 03:04:24 UTC

I re-read everything you said again and again after writing the comment i just did. And you are right... without a doubt right. I couldn't believe it when it hit me so hard ... my eyes are welling up and I feel a headache comming on... why? Because it hurts me that bad that I realized finally what you have been trying to convey to me. I should have told you to stop drinking and I should have told you that messing around with those guys is a bad idea but I think of you so highly somtimes, well all the time that I forget that somtimes even you don't really honestly know what you are doing. I always just figure you have some sort of plan or this is only temporary to make yourself feel better I just kinda see you as the person who knows what they are doing but almost tries not to. You are right, moriah, you are right... I'm sorry for not seeing it.

response... spiderlady18 December 24 2005, 07:09:56 UTC

ok yeah,you get it.that I'm not anywhere near perfect.all I'm saying is,we all need a shoulder to lean on sometimes,I'll be yours and you can be mine ( ... )

spiderlady18 December 24 2005, 07:25:29 UTC

more,bear with me.I have had hurt feelings lately.but most of it is the fear that if I let it go too easily then things will just go back to the way they were.I don't want that.my trust in people in general has been...lost a little I suppose.realistically,I don't blame the general population.but unrealistically my feelings of mistrust are still there.I just want to know that I can trust you...even if I can't trust anybody else..