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Dec 18, 2003 04:15

so its 4am ( Read more... )

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shannonanna December 18 2003, 17:42:14 UTC
I feel like I'm holding back because people read my journal.

And making other people happy only makes you happy when they recognize what you've done. When they're indifferent or don't feel the need to tell you how much they appreciate it, it gets a little old. Like after two years of marriage. It's getting very old.

And it's almost impossible to make other people happy when you're unhappy.

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evilzer0 December 18 2003, 19:36:00 UTC
"And it's almost impossible to make other people happy when you're unhappy."

Almost.
People dont generally ask for someone to make them happy... and rarely thank them for doing so.
Its not that IM unhappy... more like frustrated... and burnt out from it all. Im happy for who I am. It may not look like it... but I am. Im not happy about the things life has thrown at me... But Im happy for who I am... because Im working hard at those things.
I want her to be happy because she has nothing to run from, nothing to fear, nothing inside thats hurting her...And its like, Im the only person that can, the only person who was ever able to get that close... and the only one who still can.
2 years of marriage?... I guess Id say... he asked you to marry him right? well... I think he should take a while to remember WHY he asked you to marry him... and hold onto that each and every day. At least... thats what I would do.

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shannonanna December 20 2003, 03:29:26 UTC
I guess it's more complicated than that.

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evilzer0 December 20 2003, 08:20:27 UTC
Its always more complicated.
Like I could try and explain all the things going on to everyone but... well for some reasons theres things I cant... and for other reasons theres things I wont. She is still the girl that has my heart... I cant get it back... I cant let it go... I try each and every day to just put it all away... but that doesnt happen... not like this...

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sushi chalupa_chelano December 18 2003, 22:15:14 UTC
sushi place....

You lucky man..

I hope you get free sushi

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Re: sushi evilzer0 December 19 2003, 05:44:11 UTC
I got dinner... which was just as good.

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