(no subject)
Don't bother trying to explain angel, i know exactly what goes on ... when you're gone.
I don't know ... i'm being random. Kind of in a lonely mood where i just want to live my own life ... on my own. Like start over .. get new friends, new school, new everything. I guess i have a tendency to do that. Run away from my problems , whenever i don't feel comfortable somewhere. Who knows. This time i just can't hide behind a relationship, in someone's arms, and push everyone out, so i suppose im somewhat scared. I love my friends, more than life, and my school isn't half bad either. I don't even know why i want to get away again. Maybe b/c i havent in a while. Who knows. Maybe it's because i feel betrayed by my family. ::shrugs:: Plus i was reminded why i hate guys this weekend.
My aunt and cousin found one of my binders while i was living there. You know my morbid binders filled with poems, pictures, and suicide notes. Yup, one of those. So without telling me they've become completely scared out of my mind, not because they think i'm going to committ suicide, but because they think that i'm on a lot of drugs. hah. Dumb they are, still the same they'll have another thing coming if they find my El jay, my allpoetry, or my Myspace. My mom knows everything but it's none of their damn business, especially since i', not even suppose to know they are doing all this. W/e ....
School starts tomorrow. I couldn't be more happy about anything . i get to see everyone, be in a scheduled routine where i have to wake up ... and my writing ::smiles:: i think i have english this term. Even if it is with Chou Chou. Further more, i want to see James more than anything. i mean ... i would even post pone school for another week just to see him! hah. I miss him, lets say. And havent talked to him in a bit. hmph.
Soccer's going well, i think ... hope . I'm going today, and i don't have degmean , thank the goddess. damn something about me makes me want to hate him.
I'm suppose to see Kitty today ... maybe. Maybe not. We'll see if he shows up at my door step anytime in the near future.
Off to straighten my hair .... <3