Comments | ex_betterino391: be careful not to slip in the sap on your way out.

ex_betterino391

be careful not to slip in the sap on your way out.

Feb 05, 2008 23:33

I like this idea, even if I don't like how I fleshed it out; I just didn't want it to go to waste.

( a short story of a lonely guy )

fan fiction, naruto

Comments 16

kalliel February 7 2008, 23:34:39 UTC

I really like the suble way that you've worked both of their personalities (Naruto's in particular, since when I watched the show, he never seemed to have an actual personality that was definitively his please don't shoot me) as well as their relationship/this interaction.

And the dialogue is great. I like Naruto's post-water grumblings best, and the way they lead into the final two lines. <3

ex_betterino391 February 8 2008, 00:39:07 UTC

...You always leave the best feedback. Thank you. ♥ (i don't agree, but you call it like you see it)

kalliel February 8 2008, 00:43:04 UTC

But then, I've only seen episodes 1 and 2, and the part of the Chuunin exams where Tenten/Temari and Sakura/Ino fought. Since he was spectating in over half of the aforementioned, I imagine that has something to do with it. XD I should read/watch more, but holy crap. @_@ Naruto is long, man! XD <3<3

ex_betterino391 February 8 2008, 00:47:41 UTC

Maaaybe. XD It is really long, but the chapters themselves are pretty short and once you get into it -- if you do -- then they go by quicker than you think they would.

table_chan May 8 2010, 11:18:21 UTC

I'm aware how old this is and how weird it is that I'm here...SHUT UP FJDLSKJA

After kinda of a not so great night...this made me smile a lot ♥ Thanks bb

betterinorange May 16 2010, 21:21:50 UTC

It's n-not weird? lsljkds

I'm glad. >: ♥

table_chan May 16 2010, 21:26:41 UTC

jfkdsjklajfklds ♥

*loves on*