Life isn't a straight line, but rather a series of hills and valleys. Therapy can be useful but having a caring friend to talk to is helpful, too. A sounding board can put your thoughts in order. (And not wearing pants is great!) *hugs*
Strictly anecdotal and may have nothing to do with you:
I don't know how old you are, but for what it's worth, when I hit the onset of hormonal changes (50-ish, in my case, which I hear is a bit later than most), my brain went a bit wonky in a lot of directions for a while. It took a few years (and antidepressants, but then, I'm a lifelong depressive) to stabilize and settle into its new patterns. I've heard a lot of women my age talk about having serious concerns about their mental health around this time. Turns out it's normal, or at least typical. Deeply uncomfortable and sometimes unpleasant, but typical. And not as scary in the long run as it seemed initially.
Beyond that, and more important, you have my sympathies. It's a hard thing when your brain patterns change without apparent reason.
That's something the general public doesn't talk about. Perhaps it's just due to lack of serious interest in older women's health issues in general. Women tend to be quite disposable after child-bearing years. Almost all my post-menopausal female friends have admitted to bouts of anxiety and depression.
You actually offer an important reminder; I'm 34, but early menopause is a thing in my family. I don't think I'm quite at the perimenopause stages yet, but I think it may be coming. I also stopped taking birth control pills a year ago, which was great, because yay return of libido, but may have also triggered other things. Of course, I've been diagnosed with anxiety before, and I am also increasingly dealing with mortality as the years go by. I mean, that's life, but I'm also a really emotionally constipated person. And I'm on meds now for thyroid and diabetes that I haven't taken previously, so this is all converging at once. At least I finally called the therapist today.
Hella late reply, but I had to start antidepressants a year ago and I'm thirty-six now. But honestly, there's no such thing as adulting. There's no magical adult card. Sometimes my house totally disintegrates and sometimes my kids actually don't get to school because I outslept my alarm and sometimes I just go-- "Nah, son, Imma internet now and do the bills later." My parents also drive me ever more bonkers the older I get, I think in large part because of the realization that there's no magical adult card.
Therapy's a really good start. <3 But don't think you're defective or something.
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And the people we love the most are the most likely to really get under our skin and seem completely annoying.
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I don't know how old you are, but for what it's worth, when I hit the onset of hormonal changes (50-ish, in my case, which I hear is a bit later than most), my brain went a bit wonky in a lot of directions for a while. It took a few years (and antidepressants, but then, I'm a lifelong depressive) to stabilize and settle into its new patterns. I've heard a lot of women my age talk about having serious concerns about their mental health around this time. Turns out it's normal, or at least typical. Deeply uncomfortable and sometimes unpleasant, but typical. And not as scary in the long run as it seemed initially.
Beyond that, and more important, you have my sympathies. It's a hard thing when your brain patterns change without apparent reason.
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Therapy's a really good start. <3 But don't think you're defective or something.
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