(no subject)
really my posts are more for me to get the junk out of my head. i've spent too long not writing here, but i think it is better for me to write and not bottle it up like i have been.
i got a phone call today from PRN to work weekends (sat and sun) 5pm-11pm. while i need the hours... i really don't want to use up my weekend like that. i'm already working with Tim Sat and Sun 11a-1p so both days are going to be used up working. Working evenings during the week makes it even more difficult. I am lucky that i have work... but really. my life is already pretty unsocial... if i work these shifts i will never see anyone. it seems like no one is willing to give up an hour or two at night during the week. i am so frustrated.
i really want to hang out with people. I feel like several of the people i think of as friends are really not. i know i'm not the most amazing person in the world, but i do think i'm an ok friend and don't understand what is going on. i AM ok being alone most of the time but i know that when i'm alone a lot and don't want to be... well, then things go wonky, i think too much, and then i just get to feeling sorry for myself. hahahah isnt' that what i'm doing now? oh well. i think i need to get karen and lisa together with me and talk to them about this. to see what their thoughts are. i know karen doesn't have many real friends here either, but at least she has david... and she works days so she has the option of doing things in the evening and on the weekend.
and once i go back to school next semester i will have no time at all.
i do love my work which makes it somewhat easier for me but can i sustain my mild sanity?
yeah.