The Buzz
I've been meaning to post a lot of things recently. Thoughts I've been having. Maybe I will sometime soon. But I haven't had time. Same with books to read. And people to see. Ugh.
The psychology professor I worked with during my last year as an undergrad, Dr. Martin, talked to me about his experiences upon graduation. He told me that the time just after he graduated with his bachelor's degree was the worst time in his life. I understand what he was getting at now. At least he said it will get better. And I'm hoping for something to get better soon. (It pushed him to go back into academia, which hopefully will happen for me.)
Basically, I'm working two crappy jobs. I have no free time. Life sucks and is stressful and I don't have enough money to live on. That's how it's going for me.
Oh, by the way, I'm going to apply to grad school(s?) for next year. I hope I get in at UGA and can work with Dr. Martin, but we shall see how it goes.
300 is such an exceptionally bad-ass and amazing film that motivates me to kick some butts.
Tonight at karate I felt a real breakthrough. I felt much better. Stronger, faster, more powerful. Tempered with control, awareness, fluidity, flexibility. And I was able to help another student understand some movements we were performing. It was a night of outstanding performance and enjoyment for me. Improving, and being aware of that improvement, to such an extent is really invigorating. Also, Mike was teaching the class, which gave it a different and fun energy.
I achieved a goal of mine recently - doing 50 push ups in less than a minute. Go me.
Lately I've been wondering about many things. One is the obsession with smoking, drinking, and drugs in people. As I told Sarah, I think it's just a way for people to "check their pulse" largely. To make sure they're still alive. It's not like the experience is particularly enjoyable or good for a person. Especially smoking. Seems to be more of a way of just verifying that experience is not all focused on school, work, or some other life activity that one doesn't always enjoy. They're escapist.
Another focus in my thinking lately has been on a Buddhist concept (go figure). Anyway... For the Buddha, there was no distinction between subject and object. The two were actually one (and many) for him. There was a certain connection between all things, caught in a flux. An ever changing world, but a world in which there isn't a gulf between this and that. But rather a world of this-and-that.
It's very common to hear people speak of, or philosophy mention (in the West), subjectivity and objectivity. This was a sort of frame for my exploration of the Buddhist concept of a lack of subject and object. In Buddhism, subjectivity and objectivity, as it is used in Western philosophy, makes no sense. (Really, if you think about it, they are purely speculative, just like gods and whatnot.) This leaves the world in just a state of thusness. The world only is as it is, without any need for further explanation or examination. Just things as they are - neither objective nor subjective.
Oh, and while I'm on the subject... What's the deal with narratives in life? I'm thinking that maybe they are just an attempt to frame life in a way that is more interesting (like "Reality TV"). When, really, life is pretty damned boring and mundane and repetitive. Maybe it's just an escape from that sense of existential emptiness.
And one more thing...
One Buddhist author I read once related a story about drugs and meditation (Buddhist) practice. He told a story about going to a meditation retreat. He took some hallucinogens (I think acid) before a long meditation session. He then told one of the monks this. The monk laughed in his face and patted him on the shoulder. What does that mean?