[fic] These Three Things (Supernatural; eventual Destiel) 2/10-ish
These Three Things
by: exorcistor
Fandom: Supernatural
People/pairings (this chapter): Castiel, other angels
Word count: 3100
Genre: idk, drama? family?
Rating: worksafe
Note: I’m not gonna claim to be good at Christian theology, I just wanted to understand Castiel better, as an angel and a person. Then I found that I wanted to spend a lot more time with it, and do some proper research to do it justice. I got help from aerilex, without whom this probably wouldn't have been posted at all. I still think I'm probably stepping on a few toes here. But I'll try, and I'll try to have fun with it in the meantime. When did I grow this fond of doing research, anyway? Oh, and there's gonna be Dean/Castiel here in the future, someway, somehow.
---
PART ONE: Faith
Chapter two: Falling From Grace
And now abide faith, hope, love; these three things; and the greater of these is love.
- St. Paul’s letter to the Corinthians: 13:13, the Bible
His Father grows absent; the orders are few and far apart. He is busy caring for the Earth and the creatures He gave life to in His infinite wisdom and love. More of their siblings fall, Castiel feels the loss of them amongst their ranks like a constant ache in his chest. Castiel knows that he should not despair, but he cannot help the way his Father's absence makes also him feel lost and alone. He has his brothers and sisters, and he carries out his orders as he is expected to, but it is not the same. The last time he had a real conversation with God, or even one of his Archangels was several millennia ago. He misses Him.
He still misses Him as him, Uriel and Haniel are joined together with the Garrison. More angels join them; Dina, Angel of Learning, Nemamiah, the Angel who defends the Defenceless, Mihr, the Angel of Friendship. They have much to do; the tall apes are evolving, and his Father names them Humans. They are beginning to look more and more like their heavenly Father, and Castiel finds them all very fascinating. He has sworn to love them, and love them he does, guiding them through the first steps of awakening, he and Uriel pair up to teach these humans about creativity and the spiritual world. Zachariah is their superior - had Castiel had more of an own mind he might have questioned why Haniel lost her privileges, but as it is, he simply exists to carry out his Father’s orders, not dispute them. He does notice, however, that the more time Haniel spend on Earth, the more restless she seems. Castiel still trusts that she'll carry out her orders perfectly, but he can tell that something is on her mind. One day, he feels the need to ask her.
"Can you not see, brother," she asks, "that the Earth is changing our Father?"
Castiel cannot disagree. Although he has his own suspicions that Lucifer falling also a lot to do with his Father’s hesitance to speak to his other angels anymore.
"It is not only him, Castiel. We are changing as well," Haniel continues. "I cannot stop thinking of Earth, of the green of the forests or the blue of the sky. Of the creatures and the time we spent inhabiting their physical bodies."
Castiel shifts uncomfortably. Remembering the time he and Haniel spent teaching the early stages of sentient beings of reproduction has always filled him with a sense of shame. He knows that he only carried out God's will, and as he was ordered to never stay in one of the creature's bodies long enough to participate in the physical act of copulation, he always left one species as soon as he has helped stir up the instinct of how they were meant to do it, but it still felt strange that he'd been so close to the act. He knew it was not a sin, for how could something so natural be sinful, but it was not for angels to know such pleasures. They were warriors of God, the constructors of creation, and the pleasures of being alive was not a privilege meant for them.
Haniel still kept her gaze steadily on him. "I stayed, Castiel," she confessed.
"Did you...?" Castiel cannot bring himself to finish the question, but as they are still connected through the Host, and their Grace, he does not need to; she knows what he means.
"I only looked."
"I would like for you to not tell me what you saw, sister."
Castiel knows that Haniel has to have felt his reason for not wanting to know; the shame he feels for having wanted to stay behind himself. How much he had longed to know, longed to see more of his Father's brilliance in the act of creating new life. Only the fact that he had been tempted is filling him with more guilt than he believes himself able to bear, but he has born it this long and he shall not give in to despair now. Michael assured him that his Father was happy with the task and how he had fulfilled his mission. He is not certain why Haniel does not feel at peace.
Now, several thousand years later, he knows where the difference between them lay, and he wonders if it would have helped Haniel if he had listened that day. If it had helped Lilith if someone had listened to her. As it is, he can only add it to the list of things he now guilt himself about.
Him and his brethren are kept very busy over the next few thousand years. Through Joshua, God has given them careful instructions to not force His will onto these humans, although Castiel admits that seeing them struggle to find a purpose to life and death is difficult. He wants to teach them of his Father's never ending love and incredible generosity, but of course he cannot disobey his orders. No more prophets are born; these creatures have no knowledge of God’s Plan, and they struggle. He knows that his Father knows best, and if he deems these Humans too small and fragile to comprehend the amazing gift they have been given, then he is not the one to question God's decision to make them so.
As soon as the humans builds a concept of religion, however, things begin to happen on earth which to Castiel seem completely outrageous.
Humans will always strive to find God; they will do their best to do good, to do right. Castiel sees this quality in them, and he loves them for it. But there is something else there, something dark, something his Father left within each Human being. Castiel can see a trace there, the times he comes down to earth, of Lucifer. He does his best not to question his Father's choices, but he knows then, that Lucifer's fall has indeed damaged God, and that he is now seeking reassurance from these his children of Earth, that they will come to him on their own, that they will chose to love him as Lucifer could not.
And this part of them is what makes humans receptive to the whispers from below, from Lucifer's cage and beyond. The basic instinct to survive is something all creatures of this planet must have, but there is something else in the human mind, which makes them crave more than just living. Aside for empathy and compassion, Castiel's favourites, there is possession and greed. Castiel does not entirely understand it, but he can feel the darkness clawing at the humans' souls, and he fears it. In his prayers, he begs God to reconsider, to not risk this most beautiful of his creations, but he hears no answer. Castiel must trust that his Father knows what is best for all of his children. It is necessary for him to trust in God, that is the foundation of his very being, but as he can feel the pain these Humans cause Him, the ones who follow in Lucifer's footstep and turn away from their heavenly Father, he can feel something crack inside of him.
Demons, Zachariah calls them, and there is a contempt in his voice unlike anything that Castiel has ever encountered before. Children of Lucifer, they are, sent out from the Pit to preach his words to the humans, to taint this beautiful creation of God like he had once done with Lilith. Demons in themselves are the biggest violation of His creation yet, as they are the ruined souls of humans who had fallen for temptation. Locked up or no, Lucifer will do anything he can to collect revenge on his Father, hurt him in ways unimaginable to any angel.
With the demons come also the soulless children of the dark. Blood-sucking, flesh-eating savages whose origin can be nothing but pure evil, Castiel reasons. Some can change their face, some can blend in amongst humans, luring them in, keeping them near to strike from the shadows. It is not the assignment of his Garrison to hunt these creatures down; Balthazar and his subordinates are made experts in fighting the vampires, shape shifters, skin walkers, werewolves... His brothers and sisters take human vessels and walk amongst the mortals, teaching them how to hunt these dark creatures, creating hunting families and bloodlines.
These creatures are beyond cleansing; they can never be granted a place in the Everlasting. Another dimension is opened to trap them, never to be seen again. Fittingly enough, the dimension made to purge the world of these vile things is called Purgatory. Castiel is grateful to his Father, and to his brethren, for freeing the world of them.
Their missions come frequently now that they have an enemy - the word rings new and strange in Castiel's ears - to fight. Demon possessions keep their Garrison busy. Uriel is sent to a city called Sodom to cleanse it, and when he comes back, he is changed. Castiel looks with sorrow how Uriel guards himself from his brethren in the Garrison, concealing the pain his orders has caused him with mirth. Not all angels have known Uriel as long as Castiel has, and they cannot tell where the difference lies, but in the end, Zachariah feels compelled to change Uriel’s position in the Garrison, promoting Castiel in his stead. Castiel would have gone to Uriel to make certain his brother took no offence, if not for the fact that he sees nothing to be offended by. If it is God’s will that he shall lead their sisters and brothers in this fight against evil, then so he shall. Uriel must surely understand this, Castiel reasons.
Although the demons should be behind heavy lock in the Pit, they are cunning and find ways to wedge through the cracks created by the doubt and sins of mortals. Whispering promises which appeal to the dark parts of the human soul, they turn them away from God and twist them into evil beings, using these humans and teaching them spells, summons which call the demons to Earth. That they are still few at this point does not matter; the humans are too many now, they have spread too far, and there is no way that Castiel and his brethren can save them all from the demons.
God sends Gabriel to speak to a young woman. Castiel is not aware of the decision being made, that one of them shall copulate with a human being to create a child. If he had been aware, he’d have been horrified; he cannot fathom how Gabriel will be able to live with himself after having taken part in the pleasures of the flesh, despite the necessity. Afterwards, the woman's mind is wiped; she will remember nothing beside having spoken to one of God's messengers; she must be pure at heart to breed a child of pure good.
Gabriel is lost to them, after this. No one goes to seek him out, as it is impossible for lower ranking angels to question the actions of those who stand higher in rank, closer to God. Castiel would worry, as he has seen his brethren affected strangely by the acts of the flesh before, and they had not even had to go as far as to take part in the copulation, but Gabriel is one of the oldest and wisest of them all. Surely he must know that God forgives him this necessity, Castiel thinks, and turns his attention to more pressing matters.
When the child is born, he is named fatherless. But the angels know, and they rejoice, for this is the child which God has sent to earth to save His greatest creation, to speak his Word to the Humans, to turn them from evil and come back to Him; the first prophet of the Lord in many years. Castiel's heart swells with hope, perhaps will his Father finally be at peace, the wound in His chest healed.
The prophet speaks God's words to the Humans; he teaches them of purity and compassion, of the vast love God holds for each one of them. None of the angels are sent to Earth anymore, they are all asked to simply listen to this man, to do his bidding when asked for a minor miracle to convince other humans with. Castiel is not one of the angels asked often, so mostly he simply keeps out of the way, watching and hoping.
Their hope, is, of course, wasted. It has gone too far; the sins taught to humans by Lucifer's messengers has taken root too deep within their souls. By now, the ability to do good is just as much a part of them as the ability to be sinful. Castiel watches in horror as the human race punishes the one man who could save them and deliver them all to paradise, and he screams in fury at the pain these filthy little beasts dare cause his Father.
But Joshua comes before all of them, and tells them that their Father wishes them to not harm the humans. The prophet asked to take on all of mankind's sins, and God, in His infinite wisdom and love has granted him that wish. Instead, Castiel and his brothers and sisters are meant to simply leave the planet Earth in peace, to let humans fend for themselves, with a few exceptions. Listening to prayer, guide the prophets who follow in the steps of the man who died on the cross, listen to more praters, answering only when ordered, and that is not nearly as often as the Humans seem to wish. Castiel is assigned Angel of Thursday’s prayers, and he listens, and marvels over the selfishness of these tall, hairless apes. Asking for help and guidance is one thing, but many prayers express dark desires.
He listens most to the prayers of children, as they are pure in spirit and mind. Their wishes are sometimes bereft of logic, but he finds them a small wonder still. There is one little girl in particular, to whom he takes a liking. She used to have a sister, a twin, and in her prayers, she asks for a friend. Castiel walks amongst her dreams as she sleeps, in the shape of a young boy, and in the safe solitude of the girl’s dreamscape they play for hours at a time. As the girl grows up, Castiel enters her dreams less often, as her mind is occupied with things other than her own loneliness. He still follows her throughout her life, watching as she fills the hole in her chest from her childhood with mortal friends, a husband, children. But the connection between the human and the angel remains, and he can still hear her prayers clearly, as he will continue to hear those of all of her bloodline. They grow more similar to that of other adults of her race, asking harm unto others. Castiel is lost, for a long time he is overcome with sadness, as he cannot find it in him to forgive these awful creatures for spitting on his Father’s kindness and throwing it back into His face. He decides that he will no longer have anything to do with the Humans, and he tells Michael so, the next time the archangel meets with him. Michael looks sadly at Castiel and asks him to be patient with these little beings.
“Our Father still loves them for a reason, brother,” he assures him. “There is so much potential for good in these mortals, and their gift of free will will only make their choosing to come to our Father’s side so much more fulfilling. Our Father makes no mistakes, Castiel, for He is nothing but good and knows no evil or impatience. There is hope. We have received new enlightenment, brother; a prophet has spoken His Words. There is a way to end Lucifer’s influence and reinstate our Father’s kingdom on Earth.”
Castiel feels hope flare in his Grace. “What must we do?” he asks, eager.
Michael shakes his head. “It is Raphael’s assignment to look after the development of the prophesy. Listen to Zachariah; he will let you know what you must do.”
Castiel almost vibrates with excitement. Perhaps he will be allowed to go down to Earth again soon; he cannot wait to walk the beautiful pearl which is the crown of his Father’s creation. Michael steadies him with a soft caress. “Be still, brother. It is not yet time. We must wait for the correct hour. You, who are the Angel of Temperance must understand the importance of patience.”
And Castiel waits and watches, and though he is tired and saddened by the betrayal of the humans, he cannot help but to see his Father’s image in them, and he knows that he will not ever leave them to their fates. God’s love for the humans remain, and as long as it is pulsing through his Grace, he cannot help but house the same tenderness towards them.
He speaks to Haniel about it. She seems distracted as they walk together through one of the many memories of humans who have been granted their place in Heaven. It is crisp morning by the sea, and Castiel rejoices for the soul which has been saved and let into the Everlasting. Haniel, however, turns away from the horizon.
“What is wrong, sister?” Castiel asks, concerned.
Haniel meets his gaze, slowly looking him over, as if searching for something. She seemingly doesn’t find what she searches for, and so she averts her eyes again.
“You would not understand, Castiel,” she says. Castiel looks at her, curiously.
“I won’t understand unless you talk to me,” he agrees.
Haniel slowly reaches out to touch his Grace. “No, Castiel. You won’t understand even if I do explain it to you. You aren’t ready. I don’t know if you’ll ever be. But before it is too late, I want to tell you not to blame yourself. Although I believe you still will; as it is your nature. You are a good soldier, Castiel. Very loyal. But some things cannot be helped.”
That is the last time he sees her before the news reach him through the Host, that Haniel has ripped out her own Grace and fallen. The pain he feels upon loosing his sister and superior is the most excruciating thing he’s ever felt, next to the agony of his Father’s suffering.
---
Previous | Next
Note the second: So who can guess who Haniel is yet? :)
by: exorcistor
Fandom: Supernatural
People/pairings (this chapter): Castiel, other angels
Word count: 3100
Genre: idk, drama? family?
Rating: worksafe
Note: I’m not gonna claim to be good at Christian theology, I just wanted to understand Castiel better, as an angel and a person. Then I found that I wanted to spend a lot more time with it, and do some proper research to do it justice. I got help from aerilex, without whom this probably wouldn't have been posted at all. I still think I'm probably stepping on a few toes here. But I'll try, and I'll try to have fun with it in the meantime. When did I grow this fond of doing research, anyway? Oh, and there's gonna be Dean/Castiel here in the future, someway, somehow.
---
PART ONE: Faith
Chapter two: Falling From Grace
And now abide faith, hope, love; these three things; and the greater of these is love.
- St. Paul’s letter to the Corinthians: 13:13, the Bible
His Father grows absent; the orders are few and far apart. He is busy caring for the Earth and the creatures He gave life to in His infinite wisdom and love. More of their siblings fall, Castiel feels the loss of them amongst their ranks like a constant ache in his chest. Castiel knows that he should not despair, but he cannot help the way his Father's absence makes also him feel lost and alone. He has his brothers and sisters, and he carries out his orders as he is expected to, but it is not the same. The last time he had a real conversation with God, or even one of his Archangels was several millennia ago. He misses Him.
He still misses Him as him, Uriel and Haniel are joined together with the Garrison. More angels join them; Dina, Angel of Learning, Nemamiah, the Angel who defends the Defenceless, Mihr, the Angel of Friendship. They have much to do; the tall apes are evolving, and his Father names them Humans. They are beginning to look more and more like their heavenly Father, and Castiel finds them all very fascinating. He has sworn to love them, and love them he does, guiding them through the first steps of awakening, he and Uriel pair up to teach these humans about creativity and the spiritual world. Zachariah is their superior - had Castiel had more of an own mind he might have questioned why Haniel lost her privileges, but as it is, he simply exists to carry out his Father’s orders, not dispute them. He does notice, however, that the more time Haniel spend on Earth, the more restless she seems. Castiel still trusts that she'll carry out her orders perfectly, but he can tell that something is on her mind. One day, he feels the need to ask her.
"Can you not see, brother," she asks, "that the Earth is changing our Father?"
Castiel cannot disagree. Although he has his own suspicions that Lucifer falling also a lot to do with his Father’s hesitance to speak to his other angels anymore.
"It is not only him, Castiel. We are changing as well," Haniel continues. "I cannot stop thinking of Earth, of the green of the forests or the blue of the sky. Of the creatures and the time we spent inhabiting their physical bodies."
Castiel shifts uncomfortably. Remembering the time he and Haniel spent teaching the early stages of sentient beings of reproduction has always filled him with a sense of shame. He knows that he only carried out God's will, and as he was ordered to never stay in one of the creature's bodies long enough to participate in the physical act of copulation, he always left one species as soon as he has helped stir up the instinct of how they were meant to do it, but it still felt strange that he'd been so close to the act. He knew it was not a sin, for how could something so natural be sinful, but it was not for angels to know such pleasures. They were warriors of God, the constructors of creation, and the pleasures of being alive was not a privilege meant for them.
Haniel still kept her gaze steadily on him. "I stayed, Castiel," she confessed.
"Did you...?" Castiel cannot bring himself to finish the question, but as they are still connected through the Host, and their Grace, he does not need to; she knows what he means.
"I only looked."
"I would like for you to not tell me what you saw, sister."
Castiel knows that Haniel has to have felt his reason for not wanting to know; the shame he feels for having wanted to stay behind himself. How much he had longed to know, longed to see more of his Father's brilliance in the act of creating new life. Only the fact that he had been tempted is filling him with more guilt than he believes himself able to bear, but he has born it this long and he shall not give in to despair now. Michael assured him that his Father was happy with the task and how he had fulfilled his mission. He is not certain why Haniel does not feel at peace.
Now, several thousand years later, he knows where the difference between them lay, and he wonders if it would have helped Haniel if he had listened that day. If it had helped Lilith if someone had listened to her. As it is, he can only add it to the list of things he now guilt himself about.
Him and his brethren are kept very busy over the next few thousand years. Through Joshua, God has given them careful instructions to not force His will onto these humans, although Castiel admits that seeing them struggle to find a purpose to life and death is difficult. He wants to teach them of his Father's never ending love and incredible generosity, but of course he cannot disobey his orders. No more prophets are born; these creatures have no knowledge of God’s Plan, and they struggle. He knows that his Father knows best, and if he deems these Humans too small and fragile to comprehend the amazing gift they have been given, then he is not the one to question God's decision to make them so.
As soon as the humans builds a concept of religion, however, things begin to happen on earth which to Castiel seem completely outrageous.
Humans will always strive to find God; they will do their best to do good, to do right. Castiel sees this quality in them, and he loves them for it. But there is something else there, something dark, something his Father left within each Human being. Castiel can see a trace there, the times he comes down to earth, of Lucifer. He does his best not to question his Father's choices, but he knows then, that Lucifer's fall has indeed damaged God, and that he is now seeking reassurance from these his children of Earth, that they will come to him on their own, that they will chose to love him as Lucifer could not.
And this part of them is what makes humans receptive to the whispers from below, from Lucifer's cage and beyond. The basic instinct to survive is something all creatures of this planet must have, but there is something else in the human mind, which makes them crave more than just living. Aside for empathy and compassion, Castiel's favourites, there is possession and greed. Castiel does not entirely understand it, but he can feel the darkness clawing at the humans' souls, and he fears it. In his prayers, he begs God to reconsider, to not risk this most beautiful of his creations, but he hears no answer. Castiel must trust that his Father knows what is best for all of his children. It is necessary for him to trust in God, that is the foundation of his very being, but as he can feel the pain these Humans cause Him, the ones who follow in Lucifer's footstep and turn away from their heavenly Father, he can feel something crack inside of him.
Demons, Zachariah calls them, and there is a contempt in his voice unlike anything that Castiel has ever encountered before. Children of Lucifer, they are, sent out from the Pit to preach his words to the humans, to taint this beautiful creation of God like he had once done with Lilith. Demons in themselves are the biggest violation of His creation yet, as they are the ruined souls of humans who had fallen for temptation. Locked up or no, Lucifer will do anything he can to collect revenge on his Father, hurt him in ways unimaginable to any angel.
With the demons come also the soulless children of the dark. Blood-sucking, flesh-eating savages whose origin can be nothing but pure evil, Castiel reasons. Some can change their face, some can blend in amongst humans, luring them in, keeping them near to strike from the shadows. It is not the assignment of his Garrison to hunt these creatures down; Balthazar and his subordinates are made experts in fighting the vampires, shape shifters, skin walkers, werewolves... His brothers and sisters take human vessels and walk amongst the mortals, teaching them how to hunt these dark creatures, creating hunting families and bloodlines.
These creatures are beyond cleansing; they can never be granted a place in the Everlasting. Another dimension is opened to trap them, never to be seen again. Fittingly enough, the dimension made to purge the world of these vile things is called Purgatory. Castiel is grateful to his Father, and to his brethren, for freeing the world of them.
Their missions come frequently now that they have an enemy - the word rings new and strange in Castiel's ears - to fight. Demon possessions keep their Garrison busy. Uriel is sent to a city called Sodom to cleanse it, and when he comes back, he is changed. Castiel looks with sorrow how Uriel guards himself from his brethren in the Garrison, concealing the pain his orders has caused him with mirth. Not all angels have known Uriel as long as Castiel has, and they cannot tell where the difference lies, but in the end, Zachariah feels compelled to change Uriel’s position in the Garrison, promoting Castiel in his stead. Castiel would have gone to Uriel to make certain his brother took no offence, if not for the fact that he sees nothing to be offended by. If it is God’s will that he shall lead their sisters and brothers in this fight against evil, then so he shall. Uriel must surely understand this, Castiel reasons.
Although the demons should be behind heavy lock in the Pit, they are cunning and find ways to wedge through the cracks created by the doubt and sins of mortals. Whispering promises which appeal to the dark parts of the human soul, they turn them away from God and twist them into evil beings, using these humans and teaching them spells, summons which call the demons to Earth. That they are still few at this point does not matter; the humans are too many now, they have spread too far, and there is no way that Castiel and his brethren can save them all from the demons.
God sends Gabriel to speak to a young woman. Castiel is not aware of the decision being made, that one of them shall copulate with a human being to create a child. If he had been aware, he’d have been horrified; he cannot fathom how Gabriel will be able to live with himself after having taken part in the pleasures of the flesh, despite the necessity. Afterwards, the woman's mind is wiped; she will remember nothing beside having spoken to one of God's messengers; she must be pure at heart to breed a child of pure good.
Gabriel is lost to them, after this. No one goes to seek him out, as it is impossible for lower ranking angels to question the actions of those who stand higher in rank, closer to God. Castiel would worry, as he has seen his brethren affected strangely by the acts of the flesh before, and they had not even had to go as far as to take part in the copulation, but Gabriel is one of the oldest and wisest of them all. Surely he must know that God forgives him this necessity, Castiel thinks, and turns his attention to more pressing matters.
When the child is born, he is named fatherless. But the angels know, and they rejoice, for this is the child which God has sent to earth to save His greatest creation, to speak his Word to the Humans, to turn them from evil and come back to Him; the first prophet of the Lord in many years. Castiel's heart swells with hope, perhaps will his Father finally be at peace, the wound in His chest healed.
The prophet speaks God's words to the Humans; he teaches them of purity and compassion, of the vast love God holds for each one of them. None of the angels are sent to Earth anymore, they are all asked to simply listen to this man, to do his bidding when asked for a minor miracle to convince other humans with. Castiel is not one of the angels asked often, so mostly he simply keeps out of the way, watching and hoping.
Their hope, is, of course, wasted. It has gone too far; the sins taught to humans by Lucifer's messengers has taken root too deep within their souls. By now, the ability to do good is just as much a part of them as the ability to be sinful. Castiel watches in horror as the human race punishes the one man who could save them and deliver them all to paradise, and he screams in fury at the pain these filthy little beasts dare cause his Father.
But Joshua comes before all of them, and tells them that their Father wishes them to not harm the humans. The prophet asked to take on all of mankind's sins, and God, in His infinite wisdom and love has granted him that wish. Instead, Castiel and his brothers and sisters are meant to simply leave the planet Earth in peace, to let humans fend for themselves, with a few exceptions. Listening to prayer, guide the prophets who follow in the steps of the man who died on the cross, listen to more praters, answering only when ordered, and that is not nearly as often as the Humans seem to wish. Castiel is assigned Angel of Thursday’s prayers, and he listens, and marvels over the selfishness of these tall, hairless apes. Asking for help and guidance is one thing, but many prayers express dark desires.
He listens most to the prayers of children, as they are pure in spirit and mind. Their wishes are sometimes bereft of logic, but he finds them a small wonder still. There is one little girl in particular, to whom he takes a liking. She used to have a sister, a twin, and in her prayers, she asks for a friend. Castiel walks amongst her dreams as she sleeps, in the shape of a young boy, and in the safe solitude of the girl’s dreamscape they play for hours at a time. As the girl grows up, Castiel enters her dreams less often, as her mind is occupied with things other than her own loneliness. He still follows her throughout her life, watching as she fills the hole in her chest from her childhood with mortal friends, a husband, children. But the connection between the human and the angel remains, and he can still hear her prayers clearly, as he will continue to hear those of all of her bloodline. They grow more similar to that of other adults of her race, asking harm unto others. Castiel is lost, for a long time he is overcome with sadness, as he cannot find it in him to forgive these awful creatures for spitting on his Father’s kindness and throwing it back into His face. He decides that he will no longer have anything to do with the Humans, and he tells Michael so, the next time the archangel meets with him. Michael looks sadly at Castiel and asks him to be patient with these little beings.
“Our Father still loves them for a reason, brother,” he assures him. “There is so much potential for good in these mortals, and their gift of free will will only make their choosing to come to our Father’s side so much more fulfilling. Our Father makes no mistakes, Castiel, for He is nothing but good and knows no evil or impatience. There is hope. We have received new enlightenment, brother; a prophet has spoken His Words. There is a way to end Lucifer’s influence and reinstate our Father’s kingdom on Earth.”
Castiel feels hope flare in his Grace. “What must we do?” he asks, eager.
Michael shakes his head. “It is Raphael’s assignment to look after the development of the prophesy. Listen to Zachariah; he will let you know what you must do.”
Castiel almost vibrates with excitement. Perhaps he will be allowed to go down to Earth again soon; he cannot wait to walk the beautiful pearl which is the crown of his Father’s creation. Michael steadies him with a soft caress. “Be still, brother. It is not yet time. We must wait for the correct hour. You, who are the Angel of Temperance must understand the importance of patience.”
And Castiel waits and watches, and though he is tired and saddened by the betrayal of the humans, he cannot help but to see his Father’s image in them, and he knows that he will not ever leave them to their fates. God’s love for the humans remain, and as long as it is pulsing through his Grace, he cannot help but house the same tenderness towards them.
He speaks to Haniel about it. She seems distracted as they walk together through one of the many memories of humans who have been granted their place in Heaven. It is crisp morning by the sea, and Castiel rejoices for the soul which has been saved and let into the Everlasting. Haniel, however, turns away from the horizon.
“What is wrong, sister?” Castiel asks, concerned.
Haniel meets his gaze, slowly looking him over, as if searching for something. She seemingly doesn’t find what she searches for, and so she averts her eyes again.
“You would not understand, Castiel,” she says. Castiel looks at her, curiously.
“I won’t understand unless you talk to me,” he agrees.
Haniel slowly reaches out to touch his Grace. “No, Castiel. You won’t understand even if I do explain it to you. You aren’t ready. I don’t know if you’ll ever be. But before it is too late, I want to tell you not to blame yourself. Although I believe you still will; as it is your nature. You are a good soldier, Castiel. Very loyal. But some things cannot be helped.”
That is the last time he sees her before the news reach him through the Host, that Haniel has ripped out her own Grace and fallen. The pain he feels upon loosing his sister and superior is the most excruciating thing he’s ever felt, next to the agony of his Father’s suffering.
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Note the second: So who can guess who Haniel is yet? :)