Picking up the Pieces, 21: An Unexplainable Moment
Title: Picking up the Pieces
Author: exquisite_ugly
Rating/Warnings: M (language, future explicit sex)
Summary: Bella returns to Forks a few years after having married Edward and moving to Alaska. Mistakes and regrets, loneliness and grief, she severs ties and returns to those she truly loves to start over. What will she come home to? AU, A/D/R, M-language/sex
*~*~*
At first I was afraid, I was petrified/I kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side/But then I spent so many nights/Just thinking how you've done me wrong/And I grew strong, I learned how to get along/And so you're back from outer space/I just walked in to find you here with that look upon your face/I should have changed my fucking lock/I would have made you leave your key/If I'd have known for just one second you'd be back to bother me
*~*~*
JPOV
My mind buzzed frenetically as I hurried back to the pack to warn them of the break in our treaty. Could this thing inside her be something that was actually growing? A life that she created with the leech? It didn't seem possible, but then again, what the hell was normal anymore. I couldn't bear the idea or possibility of that yet, so I'd hurried out like the pussy I was. In my heart, I knew Bella wasn't choosing Edward, but the insecurities were attacking me full force. I'd heard her say she wanted to keep what she had here with me, with her family, but I nearly went in there and killed him for kissing her. It was sheer force of will that stopped me… because it scared me that he could dazzle her back.
He still had some hold over her. I knew it wasn't Bella's fault, but it got under my skin and made me furious that he exerted that control over her. It wasn't that I didn't trust her; it was that I didn't trust him. Everything that had transpired over the time we'd been apart had just crashed over us all at once and I couldn't even begin to sort everything out in my head.
Those fears that she would tire of life here in La Push and Forks, tire of me, were still there, but I told myself I was being ridiculous. Those insecurities drove me away from Sue's house after that leech left - and he was lucky he left with limbs intact because I wanted to kill him - to try and muddle through my thoughts.
"Sam," I called out when I reached his and Emily's house. The whole pack was there since Emily had ordered pizzas for dinner.
He opened the door and I waved him outside.
Curiously, he looked back at the house. "Do you need to talk to everyone?"
"Yes, but I need you to know first. We need to keep everybody in check and not run off half-cocked. Edward was at Sue's with Bella; he broke the treaty to try and convince her to leave."
His black eyes widened in shock. "What? Are you serious?"
"Unfortunately. He left when I ordered him off our land, but I don't know what the hell he thinks he's doing."
Sam's brow wrinkled in thought. "I know he's a leech, but that doesn't sound like him. Is Bella okay?"
A slight hesitation before answering had him looking closer at me. "Why isn't she with you? What happened? Jake, she loves you. I wouldn't have said that in the beginning, considering what she did, but it's pretty obvious now she had feelings for you before she even came back here."
"When I got there, that bloodsucker kissed her. He still dazzles her, Sam. I know she was resisting, but I worry he'll be able to take her away from me," I admitted, feeling ashamed.
Sam shook his head at me as we walked into the house to tell the rest of the pack. "Jake, I'm surprised. You've both been through a hell of a lot and while I understand the insecurity, you should be with her. I know I can't know everything you two have struggled with, but you should tell her how you feel."
I nodded, knowing he was right. "I will. I didn't plan to avoid this forever, I just wanted a chance to calm down and think things through."
The kitchen was warm from the pot of savory beef and vegetable soup Emily had made, flowers brightening up the plain kitchen, the pack seated in every available space. It was packed, loud, and overly hot… just the way I liked it. It was something I hadn't realized how much I missed when I wasn't here.
Sam got everyone's attention, which was no easy feat when there was homemade soup and pizza in front of everyone, but once I began telling them what had happened that got their attention. There was a lot of yelling and anger, but with Sam's help, we managed to calm them down enough to not break something or go tearing out of the house.
"The fight's coming here then," Embry said grimly. "And who it's going to be with remains to be seen."
As much as I wanted the Cullen's gone, out of Bella's and my life, I had trouble seeing the pack destroying them. I felt the wolf stirring in me, wanting to kill them once and for all, but the human part of me knew even if Bella wanted to be done with them it would be hard for her. Plus, Carlisle had come here and helped Bella at her request.
I sighed. "Yeah, I think so. I don't much of what's going on, but as soon as I hear something…"
"Hey, are you and Bella okay?" Leah asked me abruptly.
I met her eyes and she knew. "Oh Jake," she muttered. "I'm sorry. She knows what a real man is like, so don't worry. And that's a hell of a compliment coming from me, so appreciate it. It doesn't happen often."
I couldn't help but laugh. Leah still had some issues, but she could always be counted on for fierce loyalty and easing the tension. I left them there to head home and fill in Billy before going to find Bella. He was sitting at the kitchen table with Sue. It was a feat in and of itself to shock my father, but he had that look on his face, and I knew that he was aware of what was going on.
"So you heard," I said.
"Yes, Charlie stopped by on his way to work. Apparently, he was there with Bella and knows something is coming, though he doesn't know the specifics," Billy said, looking shaken. "Is it true, Jake?"
I paced the tiny kitchen, circling them both at the kitchen table multiple times, before saying, "Yes, I believe so. He broke the treaty by coming here. I don't know how this is going to turn out, if the other Cullen's are coming back, and if they're going to fight against us or not."
"Is Bella okay? I heard something happened with this Edward…"
My gaze shot to Billy's, but he just watched me knowingly. "I don't know," I admitted. "I have to talk to her about it."
Billy's lips pressed together. "Don't wait too long, Jake. You have a right to be freaked out, but you two are apparently in this for the long haul. That means it isn't easy and you need to clear the air."
"He's right, Jake," Sue finally said. "I know from experience with Charlie. They aren't always easy; both of them are stubborn, not always great with emotions or talking about certain things, but they're both worth it."
I smiled, realizing just how similar Bella was to her dad. "Yeah, they are," I said. The thought of taking care of this problem and living a normal, mundane life with Bella was incentive enough. I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with her, to try and hopefully succeed one day at having children, grow old with her, and even be bored and typical together. It sounded like heaven.
I squeezed my dad's shoulder. "I'll fill you in on the details as they come in." He was the chief, served as an elder of the tribe; he deserved to know.
He gave me a smile, masking his worry. I knew it was there, though. "Okay. Be careful."
So, with everything a little clearer in my mind, I decided I would find Bella and try to get this straightened out.
*~*~*
BPOV
The more I thought about it, the more fearful I became. I wasn't sure all of what Jake heard, but I couldn't bear waiting. Not much time passed since I'd seen him; just a couple hours or so, but I needed to talk to him.
Charlie had stayed with me the whole time. I told him more about my time with Edward, still omitting a few details, but he seemed to need to know more specifics. We sat together in silence for awhile until he finally sighed.
"As much as I wish this shit didn't exist or that I was still clueless about it, I'm glad to get to know more about what happened, more about you," he told me finally.
I smiled wryly. "I wish it didn't either. Like Jake told me, without monsters and magic, the two of us together would have been as easy as breathing."
A few tears dripped down my cheeks, and I brushed them away, embarrassed. Charlie was watching me and I could see just how much he understood. He reached across the kitchen table for my hand and after a moment's pause, I held it. He smiled a little and took a deep breath.
"I gave up on my relationships too easily, Bells. It may have been the right thing with your mom; she didn't do well here in the rain and green forests. It would've caused too much resentment, but I did love her. I wonder if I tried harder if we could've worked something out. With Sue, I just held back because I was afraid of trying again. I let myself push her away when I really could've stood to have someone who cared about me by my side."
His cheeks turned red.
"Jake is and always has been a good kid even if he's some kind of… dog," he said reluctantly. It was the closest he'd get to actually saying vampire or wolf. "Don't let that go. I know he's the one that walked out, that needed time to think, but remember how you left initially. He's always loved you. If he means that much to you, you should just go to him and tell him that."
I smiled a little as he got embarrassed as well, but I appreciated it and knew he was right. I didn't want to sit around and wait for Jake to come back. He needed to know. I stood up and said, "Okay. Let's go. You have to go to work now anyway, right? I don't think it's safe to be alone, but being surrounded by your deputies should help."
He agreed and drove off in his cruiser while I took off running to Sam and Emily's house. I knew they held their pack meetings there, and I was hoping I could still catch him. Sweaty and out of breath, and feeling increasingly more urgent about talking to Jake and clearing the air, I knocked impatiently on the door.
The pack was still there, but Jake was nowhere in sight.
"Where is he?" I asked without preamble. "I need to talk to him."
I could feel the weight of their judgment when no one said anything immediately. I felt self-conscious, but Leah's eyes met mine. I knew she understood a little more than the rest of them did.
"I really don't know where he was headed. He might be with Billy, though. He was here, told us the situation, and headed out not long after," she said. Her voice was neutral and I knew she was warring with her loyalty to Jake or friendship to me.
I nodded. "Thanks, Leah. And for what it's worth? I'm sorry to all of you for dragging you into this mess. I don't blame you if you didn't particularly care what happens to me, but I'm on your side. I'm on Jake's side and I always will be."
Quil's face softened. "We know, Bella. We can't pretend to even understand any kind of feelings you have for them, but you also need to know we won't hesitate. We're behind you, though and will protect you no matter what."
The rest of them nodded in agreement and my throat was suspiciously tight. "Thank you. I'll do right by Jake no matter what it takes, too," I said and hurried out to find him.
Fear is an irrational thing. Even though Jake didn't look like he hated me or wanted to leave me forever, my stomach was in knots as I ran to the Black's house. I knocked until Billy swung the door open, a surprised look on his face.
"Bella," he said.
"Hi Billy," I said hurriedly. "I need to talk to Jake. Is he here?"
"No, he's not. He said he was going to come and find you; that he wanted to talk to you."
Worry continued to gnaw at my insides. He said he wanted to talk to me, but he hadn't shown up at Sue's place. Where was he? I bit my lip, thanked Billy, and stood at the bottom of the little stoop not knowing where to go next. I wandered toward his garage, drawn to the familiarity of being in there. He'd made me so happy here. Countless sodas drained, watching him work on our motorcycles, sitting in his Rabbit and talking, and I always felt safe and cared about.
And the garage was where I found him.
Surprised to see each other, we both stared. With a little shake of my head, I launched myself at him and felt his arms circle me. I just held him tightly, not intending to let go any time soon and afraid he'd let go of me. He didn't, though, so I buried my face in his neck, breathing in his scent. "Don't ever leave me," I whispered shakily. I didn't realize just how scared I was until I saw him.
He was surprised at the intensity in my voice. He held me tighter.
"Jake," I finally said. "I don't know what you heard, but I…"
His arms lowered and my stomach sank. He didn't look angry or distant, but he looked confused and lost. I reached out to him, but instead he turned and threw a wrench at the wall of the garage, putting a large dent in it, and making me jump. My chin quivered slightly, but I bit my lip to keep it from showing.
He sighed and turned back to me. "Sorry," he said looking chagrined. "I needed to get that out of my system apparently."
He did look a little calmer, so I spoke quietly. "Jake, I'm sorry, but I promise you can trust me. I wouldn't do anything like that to you…"
He interrupted. "I know and I do. It's not that I don't trust you, Bells. I don't trust that leech anywhere near you," he growled angrily.
It was my turn to sigh. "Jake, he had absolutely no right to come onto the reservation. He broke the treaty; you have every reason to be furious and do what you have to."
I kept my expression neutral, but Jake could read me like a book. "You don't want him or his family dead, Bella. And I saw him kiss you."
A few tears spilled free. "Jake, I didn't know he was going to do that. He caught me off-guard."
He looked unbearably sad for a moment, but shook his head. "It hurt to see that, but I know, Bella. I know he was aware I was there which might have been part of the reason why he did it. He knows he can still dazzle you in some way and he was trying to show me that while you and I may be together, he's still married to you."
That thought hadn't occurred to me and it made me even more furious that he sought me out and did that. I got the impression he still had feelings for me, but to do that because Jake was outside was infuriating.
"I also heard the theory about what's going on with you could be something that the two of you created. I don't know how the hell it could happen, but what if you're pregnant… with something?" The hurt on his face was like a physical blow.
"Jake, I can't be," I said shaking my head. "How could that be? It's preposterous." The fear was there, though, since Edward put the idea in my head. I was going to have to check with Carlisle or somebody to find out to make sure.
His arms did wrap around me then, and I clung to him gratefully. "I'm sorry you saw and heard that. Jake, I love you so much. I know it hurt you, but you have to know that. We'll figure this out, okay? Just don't leave me like that again. You scared me."
He smoothed my hair back from my face. "I'm sorry, Bells. I shouldn't have walked out, but I let myself get worried, felt the old insecurities, and I needed to clear my head. I was planning on coming to find you, I swear, but you beat me to it."
He kissed me then, a kiss that was desperate, gentle, hungry, and all-consuming all at once. Overwhelmed, I wrapped my arms around his neck, his warm mouth caressing mine. In that little garage, wrapped in Jake's arms, I felt as if I could take on the world.
*~*~*
JPOV
Sprawled in the back of the Rabbit, I was grateful I'd parked it in the old garage. It came in handy as I held Bella against me while sprawled on the backseat, our skin still damp with perspiration. I stroked a hand down her bare hip, hitching her higher on top of me. My head was squashed against the door and I had a major cramp in my leg, but it was worth it for that frantic bit of love-making we just had.
"I love you," I said, tucking a lock of swinging hair behind her ear. She smiled, leaning down to give me a kiss - a really wet one that nearly got me hard again.
"As much as I don't want this to end, we should probably get dressed," I said reluctantly.
She groaned, but sat back. "Yeah, I guess so. I'm going to head back to my dad's. I told him I'd bake something for him to take to work tomorrow for their Christmas party. I should call him and let him know I'm okay, even though he knew I was coming to find you. He had said I should come find you, too."
"Okay. And yeah, my dad said the same to me. Guess they aren't just annoying old men, huh?"
She giggled. "Nah. Have you seen my pants?"
I dug them out from under me and watched her wriggle back into them. She finished dressing and I caught her arm before she could leave, pulling her back against me. She smiled up at me, and I said, "Bells, I love you. I always have and I always will."
Her full mouth softened and she pressed a kiss to my bare chest. "I love you, too… always have and always will," she echoed. "I'll see you at Charlie's in a little while?"
I nodded and said, "Yep, I'll be there pretty soon. Be careful on your way back, okay?" I didn't like the idea of her heading off the reservation by herself even just for a little while, but again I knew I couldn't dictate her life for her.
I watched her as she headed down the path to the house to get her truck, smiling, feeling a little dopey.
I grabbed a shower at the house and drove to Charlie's not long after to keep Bella company. The inside of the house smelled fantastic; a blend of spices, pumpkin, and chocolate. She was standing at the counter, her back to me, and I took the time to watch her like a creepy stalker. Her ponytail bounced along with the quiet sounds of the music she played on the stereo. She was wrapped in a white apron, looking incredibly cute. Her hands moved constantly; adding ingredients, mixing, and pouring batter.
It was a perfectly domestic thing, and I couldn't wait until all this shit was over so we could get on with our lives. Every day that passed, I envisioned her as my wife. We could build a house in Port Angeles, marry, and grow old together. The future of children was iffy, but I chose to remain hopeful that she could get pregnant one day. It wouldn't change how much I loved her, so I knew we would make it work somehow.
"Hey, honey," I said, making her jump a little.
She smiled and said, "Come here. Taste this. It's a pumpkin and chocolate-swirled cake."
My eyes must've lit up because she laughed. She held the spoon out for me to taste. "Delicious," I proclaimed. I tried to swipe the bowl from her, making her snicker and smack my hand.
"I'm making two," she said. "One for Charlie and one for us."
I kissed her temple and let her get back to work. We talked about the normal stuff; the school and when it would be finished, her job and how she hoped to upgrade to a different column - one she could call her own. We discussed Christmas and how going away for New Year's might be nice. It'd give us a chance to be alone and get away from all the shit that had been happening.
She had just pulled the cakes out of the oven when she cringed. "Bella?" I asked concerned, getting up, my own sense of uneasiness more apparent.
She leaned against the counter, holding her stomach, and an icy anger draped over me like a now familiar cloak. "Something is out there, Jake."
I helped her to the living room and the sofa and flipped open my cell phone. "Sam," I said after a moment. "Suit up."
It was brief, but he knew exactly what was going on. The mind link between all of us was still strong even in our human form. Bella's face was white, pinched, and she was still holding her stomach as she looked up at me. "I'm going out there," she said, standing up shakily.
I started to shake my head, but she glared at me. "Don't you dare try and stop me. This is happening to me and I have something to say."
Her expression was more stubborn than I'd ever seen it and unless I physically restrained her, she would be coming outside. "Fine," I said irritably. "Stay near me, okay?" Suddenly, the wafting stench of a leech assaulted my senses.
"Bella," a voice said from outside the back door. "Please, I need to talk to you."
Quick as lightning, I flung the door open and shoved Edward back off the porch, sending him flying into a tree. Bella cried out in surprise, following me as I strode after Edward, ready to rip him limb from limb. I felt the pack before I saw them, but suddenly I saw the glow of the pack's eyes glinting from the forest. They were snarling, and I felt my body begin to convulse with the need to phase.
Edward's lip curled and his eyes were feverishly bright. "Touch me again, dog, and I'll turn you into kibble. I'm here to protect Bella from the Volturi, not to destroy you in front of her."
"You have no right to be here," I growled, advancing slowly. "You gave up that right when Bella left your sorry ass behind."
He moved fast, pouncing on me, his teeth bared. I felt a couple ribs crack, but before he could do anything else, I heard Bella yelling behind me. I got my feet under him, launching him up into the air, and saw Quil and Embry leap and catch hold of him. There was a brief struggle before Bella strode right into the middle.
"Stop it," she yelled. She was livid, her face nearly purple now, though she was still clutching her stomach. "Edward, what the fuck do you think you're doing? You're not winning any brownie points here. What's to stop me from telling them to rip you apart?"
He stopped just like that, his body frozen in place. He was still pinned against a tree, but his eyes met Bella's now. "You're still married to me. I came to protect you from the Volturi, to ask you to come back. I went about this wrong, but I lost my head. I'm sorry, Bella. I still love you."
"You don't love me," she snapped trying to shake off his dazzling effect. I stood up gingerly as my ribs began to mend, moving toward her, but she waved me off. "We fell out of love - obsession - whichever a long time ago, Edward. You need to stop and leave here. Don't come back."
Warmth bloomed in me as I watched her. Her anger was breaking through the dazzling. He started to move toward her, but the whole pack growled in unison, while Leah moved in front of Bella. She growled viciously, her teeth bared and sharp as knives as she stared dangerously at Edward's crotch. Unable to help myself despite the circumstances, I muffled a laugh.
Edward started to say something, but Bella bent over again, gasping. "Jake," she gasped. "More."
Snow had begun to fall, lightly coating the grass as we lined up, prepared to do battle. My body was shaking, ready to phase any second, as I pushed Bella behind me. Her cold fingers pressed to my back as she looked around me to see what was going on.
It was the Cullen's.
"Edward, back off," Carlisle said as he maintained his position at the head of his family. "I told you this was a bad idea." Edward's eyes glittered golden as he eased away from the wolves and toward his family.
"So, it's come to this," I said coldly.
They all stared back at me, hard and cold, though Carlisle met my eyes. I could see understanding in the doctor's eyes as he located Bella. "We're not here to fight you. I don't doubt you don't want us here, but Jacob we swore to protect Bella against the Volturi. We'll leave as soon as the battle is done."
"So, they're coming," I responded. Bella gasped, gripping her stomach, agony etched into her face. I caught her as she stumbled against me.
Distracted, I glanced back at her and terror ripped at my insides. "Bella? Honey, what's wrong?" I asked. The fear bubbled over as the pack and the Cullen's stared at Bella in shock and horror.
Her eyes flashed golden, though her face had elongated like ours did when we started to phase. Her body arched and shook, contorting, and she cried out. "Carlisle!" I yelled. "What the fuck is happening to her?"
My heart was slamming against my chest as I held her, trying to calm the tremors wracking her body. Carlisle stood by me, staring down at Bella in shocked wonder, his mouth opening and closing, unable to speak for a moment. It scared the shit out of me, because even I knew Carlisle Cullen didn't get shaken up; he was always calm and collected.
"I…" he started to say before Bella sat upright.
Her eyes were feverishly bright; a mix of brown and gold and she smiled at me. In utter stupefaction, I stared at her familiar face complete with sharp, slightly smaller fangs compared to the packs, and the eyes that vaguely resembled a vampire.
Chapter 22
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AN: So, um… what do you think? Haha This story is taking a curious twist, and I'm interested to hear what everyone thinks about this latest development.
Just wanted to say a quick thanks to TeamSethLover and the other anonymous reviewers - or one's that I just can't reply back to - for the reviews! I really appreciate them. :o) Oh, and btw, the Cake version of "I Will Survive" is A.W.E.S.O.M.E.
Author: exquisite_ugly
Rating/Warnings: M (language, future explicit sex)
Summary: Bella returns to Forks a few years after having married Edward and moving to Alaska. Mistakes and regrets, loneliness and grief, she severs ties and returns to those she truly loves to start over. What will she come home to? AU, A/D/R, M-language/sex
*~*~*
At first I was afraid, I was petrified/I kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side/But then I spent so many nights/Just thinking how you've done me wrong/And I grew strong, I learned how to get along/And so you're back from outer space/I just walked in to find you here with that look upon your face/I should have changed my fucking lock/I would have made you leave your key/If I'd have known for just one second you'd be back to bother me
*~*~*
JPOV
My mind buzzed frenetically as I hurried back to the pack to warn them of the break in our treaty. Could this thing inside her be something that was actually growing? A life that she created with the leech? It didn't seem possible, but then again, what the hell was normal anymore. I couldn't bear the idea or possibility of that yet, so I'd hurried out like the pussy I was. In my heart, I knew Bella wasn't choosing Edward, but the insecurities were attacking me full force. I'd heard her say she wanted to keep what she had here with me, with her family, but I nearly went in there and killed him for kissing her. It was sheer force of will that stopped me… because it scared me that he could dazzle her back.
He still had some hold over her. I knew it wasn't Bella's fault, but it got under my skin and made me furious that he exerted that control over her. It wasn't that I didn't trust her; it was that I didn't trust him. Everything that had transpired over the time we'd been apart had just crashed over us all at once and I couldn't even begin to sort everything out in my head.
Those fears that she would tire of life here in La Push and Forks, tire of me, were still there, but I told myself I was being ridiculous. Those insecurities drove me away from Sue's house after that leech left - and he was lucky he left with limbs intact because I wanted to kill him - to try and muddle through my thoughts.
"Sam," I called out when I reached his and Emily's house. The whole pack was there since Emily had ordered pizzas for dinner.
He opened the door and I waved him outside.
Curiously, he looked back at the house. "Do you need to talk to everyone?"
"Yes, but I need you to know first. We need to keep everybody in check and not run off half-cocked. Edward was at Sue's with Bella; he broke the treaty to try and convince her to leave."
His black eyes widened in shock. "What? Are you serious?"
"Unfortunately. He left when I ordered him off our land, but I don't know what the hell he thinks he's doing."
Sam's brow wrinkled in thought. "I know he's a leech, but that doesn't sound like him. Is Bella okay?"
A slight hesitation before answering had him looking closer at me. "Why isn't she with you? What happened? Jake, she loves you. I wouldn't have said that in the beginning, considering what she did, but it's pretty obvious now she had feelings for you before she even came back here."
"When I got there, that bloodsucker kissed her. He still dazzles her, Sam. I know she was resisting, but I worry he'll be able to take her away from me," I admitted, feeling ashamed.
Sam shook his head at me as we walked into the house to tell the rest of the pack. "Jake, I'm surprised. You've both been through a hell of a lot and while I understand the insecurity, you should be with her. I know I can't know everything you two have struggled with, but you should tell her how you feel."
I nodded, knowing he was right. "I will. I didn't plan to avoid this forever, I just wanted a chance to calm down and think things through."
The kitchen was warm from the pot of savory beef and vegetable soup Emily had made, flowers brightening up the plain kitchen, the pack seated in every available space. It was packed, loud, and overly hot… just the way I liked it. It was something I hadn't realized how much I missed when I wasn't here.
Sam got everyone's attention, which was no easy feat when there was homemade soup and pizza in front of everyone, but once I began telling them what had happened that got their attention. There was a lot of yelling and anger, but with Sam's help, we managed to calm them down enough to not break something or go tearing out of the house.
"The fight's coming here then," Embry said grimly. "And who it's going to be with remains to be seen."
As much as I wanted the Cullen's gone, out of Bella's and my life, I had trouble seeing the pack destroying them. I felt the wolf stirring in me, wanting to kill them once and for all, but the human part of me knew even if Bella wanted to be done with them it would be hard for her. Plus, Carlisle had come here and helped Bella at her request.
I sighed. "Yeah, I think so. I don't much of what's going on, but as soon as I hear something…"
"Hey, are you and Bella okay?" Leah asked me abruptly.
I met her eyes and she knew. "Oh Jake," she muttered. "I'm sorry. She knows what a real man is like, so don't worry. And that's a hell of a compliment coming from me, so appreciate it. It doesn't happen often."
I couldn't help but laugh. Leah still had some issues, but she could always be counted on for fierce loyalty and easing the tension. I left them there to head home and fill in Billy before going to find Bella. He was sitting at the kitchen table with Sue. It was a feat in and of itself to shock my father, but he had that look on his face, and I knew that he was aware of what was going on.
"So you heard," I said.
"Yes, Charlie stopped by on his way to work. Apparently, he was there with Bella and knows something is coming, though he doesn't know the specifics," Billy said, looking shaken. "Is it true, Jake?"
I paced the tiny kitchen, circling them both at the kitchen table multiple times, before saying, "Yes, I believe so. He broke the treaty by coming here. I don't know how this is going to turn out, if the other Cullen's are coming back, and if they're going to fight against us or not."
"Is Bella okay? I heard something happened with this Edward…"
My gaze shot to Billy's, but he just watched me knowingly. "I don't know," I admitted. "I have to talk to her about it."
Billy's lips pressed together. "Don't wait too long, Jake. You have a right to be freaked out, but you two are apparently in this for the long haul. That means it isn't easy and you need to clear the air."
"He's right, Jake," Sue finally said. "I know from experience with Charlie. They aren't always easy; both of them are stubborn, not always great with emotions or talking about certain things, but they're both worth it."
I smiled, realizing just how similar Bella was to her dad. "Yeah, they are," I said. The thought of taking care of this problem and living a normal, mundane life with Bella was incentive enough. I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with her, to try and hopefully succeed one day at having children, grow old with her, and even be bored and typical together. It sounded like heaven.
I squeezed my dad's shoulder. "I'll fill you in on the details as they come in." He was the chief, served as an elder of the tribe; he deserved to know.
He gave me a smile, masking his worry. I knew it was there, though. "Okay. Be careful."
So, with everything a little clearer in my mind, I decided I would find Bella and try to get this straightened out.
*~*~*
BPOV
The more I thought about it, the more fearful I became. I wasn't sure all of what Jake heard, but I couldn't bear waiting. Not much time passed since I'd seen him; just a couple hours or so, but I needed to talk to him.
Charlie had stayed with me the whole time. I told him more about my time with Edward, still omitting a few details, but he seemed to need to know more specifics. We sat together in silence for awhile until he finally sighed.
"As much as I wish this shit didn't exist or that I was still clueless about it, I'm glad to get to know more about what happened, more about you," he told me finally.
I smiled wryly. "I wish it didn't either. Like Jake told me, without monsters and magic, the two of us together would have been as easy as breathing."
A few tears dripped down my cheeks, and I brushed them away, embarrassed. Charlie was watching me and I could see just how much he understood. He reached across the kitchen table for my hand and after a moment's pause, I held it. He smiled a little and took a deep breath.
"I gave up on my relationships too easily, Bells. It may have been the right thing with your mom; she didn't do well here in the rain and green forests. It would've caused too much resentment, but I did love her. I wonder if I tried harder if we could've worked something out. With Sue, I just held back because I was afraid of trying again. I let myself push her away when I really could've stood to have someone who cared about me by my side."
His cheeks turned red.
"Jake is and always has been a good kid even if he's some kind of… dog," he said reluctantly. It was the closest he'd get to actually saying vampire or wolf. "Don't let that go. I know he's the one that walked out, that needed time to think, but remember how you left initially. He's always loved you. If he means that much to you, you should just go to him and tell him that."
I smiled a little as he got embarrassed as well, but I appreciated it and knew he was right. I didn't want to sit around and wait for Jake to come back. He needed to know. I stood up and said, "Okay. Let's go. You have to go to work now anyway, right? I don't think it's safe to be alone, but being surrounded by your deputies should help."
He agreed and drove off in his cruiser while I took off running to Sam and Emily's house. I knew they held their pack meetings there, and I was hoping I could still catch him. Sweaty and out of breath, and feeling increasingly more urgent about talking to Jake and clearing the air, I knocked impatiently on the door.
The pack was still there, but Jake was nowhere in sight.
"Where is he?" I asked without preamble. "I need to talk to him."
I could feel the weight of their judgment when no one said anything immediately. I felt self-conscious, but Leah's eyes met mine. I knew she understood a little more than the rest of them did.
"I really don't know where he was headed. He might be with Billy, though. He was here, told us the situation, and headed out not long after," she said. Her voice was neutral and I knew she was warring with her loyalty to Jake or friendship to me.
I nodded. "Thanks, Leah. And for what it's worth? I'm sorry to all of you for dragging you into this mess. I don't blame you if you didn't particularly care what happens to me, but I'm on your side. I'm on Jake's side and I always will be."
Quil's face softened. "We know, Bella. We can't pretend to even understand any kind of feelings you have for them, but you also need to know we won't hesitate. We're behind you, though and will protect you no matter what."
The rest of them nodded in agreement and my throat was suspiciously tight. "Thank you. I'll do right by Jake no matter what it takes, too," I said and hurried out to find him.
Fear is an irrational thing. Even though Jake didn't look like he hated me or wanted to leave me forever, my stomach was in knots as I ran to the Black's house. I knocked until Billy swung the door open, a surprised look on his face.
"Bella," he said.
"Hi Billy," I said hurriedly. "I need to talk to Jake. Is he here?"
"No, he's not. He said he was going to come and find you; that he wanted to talk to you."
Worry continued to gnaw at my insides. He said he wanted to talk to me, but he hadn't shown up at Sue's place. Where was he? I bit my lip, thanked Billy, and stood at the bottom of the little stoop not knowing where to go next. I wandered toward his garage, drawn to the familiarity of being in there. He'd made me so happy here. Countless sodas drained, watching him work on our motorcycles, sitting in his Rabbit and talking, and I always felt safe and cared about.
And the garage was where I found him.
Surprised to see each other, we both stared. With a little shake of my head, I launched myself at him and felt his arms circle me. I just held him tightly, not intending to let go any time soon and afraid he'd let go of me. He didn't, though, so I buried my face in his neck, breathing in his scent. "Don't ever leave me," I whispered shakily. I didn't realize just how scared I was until I saw him.
He was surprised at the intensity in my voice. He held me tighter.
"Jake," I finally said. "I don't know what you heard, but I…"
His arms lowered and my stomach sank. He didn't look angry or distant, but he looked confused and lost. I reached out to him, but instead he turned and threw a wrench at the wall of the garage, putting a large dent in it, and making me jump. My chin quivered slightly, but I bit my lip to keep it from showing.
He sighed and turned back to me. "Sorry," he said looking chagrined. "I needed to get that out of my system apparently."
He did look a little calmer, so I spoke quietly. "Jake, I'm sorry, but I promise you can trust me. I wouldn't do anything like that to you…"
He interrupted. "I know and I do. It's not that I don't trust you, Bells. I don't trust that leech anywhere near you," he growled angrily.
It was my turn to sigh. "Jake, he had absolutely no right to come onto the reservation. He broke the treaty; you have every reason to be furious and do what you have to."
I kept my expression neutral, but Jake could read me like a book. "You don't want him or his family dead, Bella. And I saw him kiss you."
A few tears spilled free. "Jake, I didn't know he was going to do that. He caught me off-guard."
He looked unbearably sad for a moment, but shook his head. "It hurt to see that, but I know, Bella. I know he was aware I was there which might have been part of the reason why he did it. He knows he can still dazzle you in some way and he was trying to show me that while you and I may be together, he's still married to you."
That thought hadn't occurred to me and it made me even more furious that he sought me out and did that. I got the impression he still had feelings for me, but to do that because Jake was outside was infuriating.
"I also heard the theory about what's going on with you could be something that the two of you created. I don't know how the hell it could happen, but what if you're pregnant… with something?" The hurt on his face was like a physical blow.
"Jake, I can't be," I said shaking my head. "How could that be? It's preposterous." The fear was there, though, since Edward put the idea in my head. I was going to have to check with Carlisle or somebody to find out to make sure.
His arms did wrap around me then, and I clung to him gratefully. "I'm sorry you saw and heard that. Jake, I love you so much. I know it hurt you, but you have to know that. We'll figure this out, okay? Just don't leave me like that again. You scared me."
He smoothed my hair back from my face. "I'm sorry, Bells. I shouldn't have walked out, but I let myself get worried, felt the old insecurities, and I needed to clear my head. I was planning on coming to find you, I swear, but you beat me to it."
He kissed me then, a kiss that was desperate, gentle, hungry, and all-consuming all at once. Overwhelmed, I wrapped my arms around his neck, his warm mouth caressing mine. In that little garage, wrapped in Jake's arms, I felt as if I could take on the world.
*~*~*
JPOV
Sprawled in the back of the Rabbit, I was grateful I'd parked it in the old garage. It came in handy as I held Bella against me while sprawled on the backseat, our skin still damp with perspiration. I stroked a hand down her bare hip, hitching her higher on top of me. My head was squashed against the door and I had a major cramp in my leg, but it was worth it for that frantic bit of love-making we just had.
"I love you," I said, tucking a lock of swinging hair behind her ear. She smiled, leaning down to give me a kiss - a really wet one that nearly got me hard again.
"As much as I don't want this to end, we should probably get dressed," I said reluctantly.
She groaned, but sat back. "Yeah, I guess so. I'm going to head back to my dad's. I told him I'd bake something for him to take to work tomorrow for their Christmas party. I should call him and let him know I'm okay, even though he knew I was coming to find you. He had said I should come find you, too."
"Okay. And yeah, my dad said the same to me. Guess they aren't just annoying old men, huh?"
She giggled. "Nah. Have you seen my pants?"
I dug them out from under me and watched her wriggle back into them. She finished dressing and I caught her arm before she could leave, pulling her back against me. She smiled up at me, and I said, "Bells, I love you. I always have and I always will."
Her full mouth softened and she pressed a kiss to my bare chest. "I love you, too… always have and always will," she echoed. "I'll see you at Charlie's in a little while?"
I nodded and said, "Yep, I'll be there pretty soon. Be careful on your way back, okay?" I didn't like the idea of her heading off the reservation by herself even just for a little while, but again I knew I couldn't dictate her life for her.
I watched her as she headed down the path to the house to get her truck, smiling, feeling a little dopey.
I grabbed a shower at the house and drove to Charlie's not long after to keep Bella company. The inside of the house smelled fantastic; a blend of spices, pumpkin, and chocolate. She was standing at the counter, her back to me, and I took the time to watch her like a creepy stalker. Her ponytail bounced along with the quiet sounds of the music she played on the stereo. She was wrapped in a white apron, looking incredibly cute. Her hands moved constantly; adding ingredients, mixing, and pouring batter.
It was a perfectly domestic thing, and I couldn't wait until all this shit was over so we could get on with our lives. Every day that passed, I envisioned her as my wife. We could build a house in Port Angeles, marry, and grow old together. The future of children was iffy, but I chose to remain hopeful that she could get pregnant one day. It wouldn't change how much I loved her, so I knew we would make it work somehow.
"Hey, honey," I said, making her jump a little.
She smiled and said, "Come here. Taste this. It's a pumpkin and chocolate-swirled cake."
My eyes must've lit up because she laughed. She held the spoon out for me to taste. "Delicious," I proclaimed. I tried to swipe the bowl from her, making her snicker and smack my hand.
"I'm making two," she said. "One for Charlie and one for us."
I kissed her temple and let her get back to work. We talked about the normal stuff; the school and when it would be finished, her job and how she hoped to upgrade to a different column - one she could call her own. We discussed Christmas and how going away for New Year's might be nice. It'd give us a chance to be alone and get away from all the shit that had been happening.
She had just pulled the cakes out of the oven when she cringed. "Bella?" I asked concerned, getting up, my own sense of uneasiness more apparent.
She leaned against the counter, holding her stomach, and an icy anger draped over me like a now familiar cloak. "Something is out there, Jake."
I helped her to the living room and the sofa and flipped open my cell phone. "Sam," I said after a moment. "Suit up."
It was brief, but he knew exactly what was going on. The mind link between all of us was still strong even in our human form. Bella's face was white, pinched, and she was still holding her stomach as she looked up at me. "I'm going out there," she said, standing up shakily.
I started to shake my head, but she glared at me. "Don't you dare try and stop me. This is happening to me and I have something to say."
Her expression was more stubborn than I'd ever seen it and unless I physically restrained her, she would be coming outside. "Fine," I said irritably. "Stay near me, okay?" Suddenly, the wafting stench of a leech assaulted my senses.
"Bella," a voice said from outside the back door. "Please, I need to talk to you."
Quick as lightning, I flung the door open and shoved Edward back off the porch, sending him flying into a tree. Bella cried out in surprise, following me as I strode after Edward, ready to rip him limb from limb. I felt the pack before I saw them, but suddenly I saw the glow of the pack's eyes glinting from the forest. They were snarling, and I felt my body begin to convulse with the need to phase.
Edward's lip curled and his eyes were feverishly bright. "Touch me again, dog, and I'll turn you into kibble. I'm here to protect Bella from the Volturi, not to destroy you in front of her."
"You have no right to be here," I growled, advancing slowly. "You gave up that right when Bella left your sorry ass behind."
He moved fast, pouncing on me, his teeth bared. I felt a couple ribs crack, but before he could do anything else, I heard Bella yelling behind me. I got my feet under him, launching him up into the air, and saw Quil and Embry leap and catch hold of him. There was a brief struggle before Bella strode right into the middle.
"Stop it," she yelled. She was livid, her face nearly purple now, though she was still clutching her stomach. "Edward, what the fuck do you think you're doing? You're not winning any brownie points here. What's to stop me from telling them to rip you apart?"
He stopped just like that, his body frozen in place. He was still pinned against a tree, but his eyes met Bella's now. "You're still married to me. I came to protect you from the Volturi, to ask you to come back. I went about this wrong, but I lost my head. I'm sorry, Bella. I still love you."
"You don't love me," she snapped trying to shake off his dazzling effect. I stood up gingerly as my ribs began to mend, moving toward her, but she waved me off. "We fell out of love - obsession - whichever a long time ago, Edward. You need to stop and leave here. Don't come back."
Warmth bloomed in me as I watched her. Her anger was breaking through the dazzling. He started to move toward her, but the whole pack growled in unison, while Leah moved in front of Bella. She growled viciously, her teeth bared and sharp as knives as she stared dangerously at Edward's crotch. Unable to help myself despite the circumstances, I muffled a laugh.
Edward started to say something, but Bella bent over again, gasping. "Jake," she gasped. "More."
Snow had begun to fall, lightly coating the grass as we lined up, prepared to do battle. My body was shaking, ready to phase any second, as I pushed Bella behind me. Her cold fingers pressed to my back as she looked around me to see what was going on.
It was the Cullen's.
"Edward, back off," Carlisle said as he maintained his position at the head of his family. "I told you this was a bad idea." Edward's eyes glittered golden as he eased away from the wolves and toward his family.
"So, it's come to this," I said coldly.
They all stared back at me, hard and cold, though Carlisle met my eyes. I could see understanding in the doctor's eyes as he located Bella. "We're not here to fight you. I don't doubt you don't want us here, but Jacob we swore to protect Bella against the Volturi. We'll leave as soon as the battle is done."
"So, they're coming," I responded. Bella gasped, gripping her stomach, agony etched into her face. I caught her as she stumbled against me.
Distracted, I glanced back at her and terror ripped at my insides. "Bella? Honey, what's wrong?" I asked. The fear bubbled over as the pack and the Cullen's stared at Bella in shock and horror.
Her eyes flashed golden, though her face had elongated like ours did when we started to phase. Her body arched and shook, contorting, and she cried out. "Carlisle!" I yelled. "What the fuck is happening to her?"
My heart was slamming against my chest as I held her, trying to calm the tremors wracking her body. Carlisle stood by me, staring down at Bella in shocked wonder, his mouth opening and closing, unable to speak for a moment. It scared the shit out of me, because even I knew Carlisle Cullen didn't get shaken up; he was always calm and collected.
"I…" he started to say before Bella sat upright.
Her eyes were feverishly bright; a mix of brown and gold and she smiled at me. In utter stupefaction, I stared at her familiar face complete with sharp, slightly smaller fangs compared to the packs, and the eyes that vaguely resembled a vampire.
Chapter 22
*~*~*
AN: So, um… what do you think? Haha This story is taking a curious twist, and I'm interested to hear what everyone thinks about this latest development.
Just wanted to say a quick thanks to TeamSethLover and the other anonymous reviewers - or one's that I just can't reply back to - for the reviews! I really appreciate them. :o) Oh, and btw, the Cake version of "I Will Survive" is A.W.E.S.O.M.E.