Sexuality vs. Intimacy and the new Transgressive

[exquisiteoath]

With our blatantly over sexualized world the ideas of "gender play" or "free love"  stop being transgressive.  I think most of us understand that and I won't dwell on it for long.   However I think it's important to spend some time wondering what that means for those of us who want to poke society with a large stick and see how it responds

Comments

[tamago23]

I think there's a whole lot of trans people who would strongly disagree with your assessment that gender play is no longer transgressive, considering the amount of oppression and even outright brutality that they face on a regular basis as a result of their not fitting into our cultural gender norms.

[exquisiteoath]

Definitely appreciate your feedback and perhaps I missed something there.

Perhaps Gender Play needs to be removed from the equation. As a generally straight male with effeminate qualities even I get the shaft from time to time for my gender bending (long hair, make-up skirts, you know the *easy stuff*).

Yes, more that I think on it, I don't think Gender Play even speaks to the idea of where I was going with this concept. Really what I'm looking at is the final few sentences looking at the promotion of intimacy vs the promotion of sexuality.

[tamago23]

Yeah, gender issues really don't go along with the rest of what you're describing.

One thing you didn't mention is the use of bareback sex. We've all gotten so used to the physical and psychological barrier, there's something transgressive in the idea of unprotected sex, of placing yourself as risk because your desire for another person is so intense; of that lack of barrier. That does play in to intimacy as well, because if you're having condomless sex then you need to have an extremely trusting relationship with your partner. (Or you need to have something else going on, such as a deep lack of self-esteem or care for yourself, or have a form of self-hatred which fuels putting yourself in danger.)

[exquisiteoath]

Yes, and it plays into the idea of an intimate relationship being more transgressive today than just plain fucking.

(even if that intimate relationship is one of many a person may have)