Daddy, how could you? How COULD you?!
Today, i found out some of the darker things my dad has done.
I was arguing with K (little brother). I found out earlier tonight that mom had threatened to kick him out. He said that it didn't matter, that if he wasn't wanted, he'd leave; no fights, no arguements. I asked him how he could just say it was okay...
I'm not sure how the following came about, but he said that dad had told him he wasn't wanted. I, of course, said that Daddy would have never said anything of the like. He said "Don't fucking tell me what I did or didn't hear dad say. I was 7, and I asked Dad if I could have a little brother. Dad said no, because he didn't want want another, and i was a mistake.
I was devastated. Daddy wouldn't have said that. Not to k. K always seemed the favorite in dad's presence.
So I went to ask mom. She said she didn't know K knew, nor that any of us knew. Indeed, when she was pregnant with K, my father had approached her and asked her to have an abortion. She had refused, saying she loved this child, and that my father wouldn't have to have anything to do with him, but she was keeping him.
So it's true, then. But... how... could my father, who told me many times he loved each and every one of us, say that to my little brother. Even looking past the family factor, how could anyone tell a 7 year old CHILD that he isn't wanted? How? This just escapes me. I don't understand. My roommate says this doesn't have to change how I view my father... but it does. The father I knew, whom I'd convinced myself gave up his life to give our side of the family the money we needed, had told a child, his own son, his blood, that he was unwanted.
I mean, what am I supposed to think? My reality has been smashed.
So it comes down to... will I forgive him? I don't know. I really don't.
Today has been a bad day.
Quote:
1: Where is that silver lining they speak of in stories and fairytales?
2: It's a little hard to find one on a mushroom cloud.
I was arguing with K (little brother). I found out earlier tonight that mom had threatened to kick him out. He said that it didn't matter, that if he wasn't wanted, he'd leave; no fights, no arguements. I asked him how he could just say it was okay...
I'm not sure how the following came about, but he said that dad had told him he wasn't wanted. I, of course, said that Daddy would have never said anything of the like. He said "Don't fucking tell me what I did or didn't hear dad say. I was 7, and I asked Dad if I could have a little brother. Dad said no, because he didn't want want another, and i was a mistake.
I was devastated. Daddy wouldn't have said that. Not to k. K always seemed the favorite in dad's presence.
So I went to ask mom. She said she didn't know K knew, nor that any of us knew. Indeed, when she was pregnant with K, my father had approached her and asked her to have an abortion. She had refused, saying she loved this child, and that my father wouldn't have to have anything to do with him, but she was keeping him.
So it's true, then. But... how... could my father, who told me many times he loved each and every one of us, say that to my little brother. Even looking past the family factor, how could anyone tell a 7 year old CHILD that he isn't wanted? How? This just escapes me. I don't understand. My roommate says this doesn't have to change how I view my father... but it does. The father I knew, whom I'd convinced myself gave up his life to give our side of the family the money we needed, had told a child, his own son, his blood, that he was unwanted.
I mean, what am I supposed to think? My reality has been smashed.
So it comes down to... will I forgive him? I don't know. I really don't.
Today has been a bad day.
Quote:
1: Where is that silver lining they speak of in stories and fairytales?
2: It's a little hard to find one on a mushroom cloud.