(no subject)
I got an owl from mum today. One of her Ministry friends who has access to the journal network showed her what I wrote and she's... not pleased, I suppose is the most accurate way of describing it. She said that if I don't stop foolishly broadcasting our private family business, home will be made very unpleasant for me, and that if I don't start straightening myself and my attitude out fast, I'm going the right way towards being burnt off the tapestry, just like Ella- a Howler’s coming my way soon. Nice of her to warn me.
If I was brave, I would say that I couldn't care less and just carry on doing exactly what I’m doing. But I'm not brave, and I do care. I can't afford to have mum and dad angry at me. It sounds silly, but they can make life unpleasant, and they will, until I shut up, stop spreading their secrets and disapprove of Muggleborns like a good girl.
I used to believe so strongly that Muggleborns were something to be afraid of. I never scorned them, exactly, not like Saskia did, though I was always a little wary of them. But it wasn't a Muggleborn who killed Saskia, it wasn't a Muggleborn who sent Ella away and it's not Muggleborns who are doing these things now. It's the Purebloods, it's their fault-- our fault. I'm just... disillusioned, I suppose. I don't know what I believe. But I don't think Muggleborns are bad. No worse than Purebloods, anyway.
But for now, at least, I'll try and compromise by doing what mum and dad want a bit, and hopefully they'll forget about being angry with me and being at home will be okay. I'll try to stop thinking about Ella and sending her owls, I'll be more like Saskia, I'll keep my head down more and not make an unnecessary fuss about things. I’ll even tolerate Bellatrix Lestrange, I suppose (my mum suggested asking her for advice about work schedules and things to get my grades up, haha-she’s not exactly approachable, is she? In fact, she’s probably the last person I’d go to for advice). But I can't promise to believe in something I don't. Besides, if I suddenly turned all Purebloods-are-so-great on my friends they’d probably slap me around the head and ask me what the hell I was talking about. Thank Merlin for them.
Err, if there's a Howler at breakfast tomorrow, it's probably for me. Umm, yes.
Marly, have you seen Greta around?
If I was brave, I would say that I couldn't care less and just carry on doing exactly what I’m doing. But I'm not brave, and I do care. I can't afford to have mum and dad angry at me. It sounds silly, but they can make life unpleasant, and they will, until I shut up, stop spreading their secrets and disapprove of Muggleborns like a good girl.
I used to believe so strongly that Muggleborns were something to be afraid of. I never scorned them, exactly, not like Saskia did, though I was always a little wary of them. But it wasn't a Muggleborn who killed Saskia, it wasn't a Muggleborn who sent Ella away and it's not Muggleborns who are doing these things now. It's the Purebloods, it's their fault-- our fault. I'm just... disillusioned, I suppose. I don't know what I believe. But I don't think Muggleborns are bad. No worse than Purebloods, anyway.
But for now, at least, I'll try and compromise by doing what mum and dad want a bit, and hopefully they'll forget about being angry with me and being at home will be okay. I'll try to stop thinking about Ella and sending her owls, I'll be more like Saskia, I'll keep my head down more and not make an unnecessary fuss about things. I’ll even tolerate Bellatrix Lestrange, I suppose (my mum suggested asking her for advice about work schedules and things to get my grades up, haha-she’s not exactly approachable, is she? In fact, she’s probably the last person I’d go to for advice). But I can't promise to believe in something I don't. Besides, if I suddenly turned all Purebloods-are-so-great on my friends they’d probably slap me around the head and ask me what the hell I was talking about. Thank Merlin for them.
Err, if there's a Howler at breakfast tomorrow, it's probably for me. Umm, yes.
Marly, have you seen Greta around?