(no subject)
im very pessimistic. and annoyed. and aggravated.
only been in school for 2 days and im SO stressed out.
i feel like i have no conrol over anything in my life.
ive gotten at the most 6 hours of sleep in the past two nights. and tonight isnt looking any better either.
i still have to
redo 2 journalism articles
study for spanish fucking vocab.
write some STUPID ass thing for history.
i just want to cry. im so unhappy. and miserable. i just wish i was more optimistic. and its not easy at all to be. ive realized i have like 101 atleast things wrong with me. I'm making the list.
- Im depressed
- I have anxiety
- I have insomnia
- I'm a bitch
- I'm fake
- I cover up my unhappiness by extravagant shopping
- I'm anemic.
- I --- myself
- I get frustrated too easily
- I'm so obseessed with self-image
- That obsession lowers my self-esteem
- I have no stability
- I'm too paranoid
- I complain way too often.
- Everything offends me personally
- I cannot take stress
- I dont have a shrink
- Im scared of wat I might do next.
- I feel too much hate
- I think everyone hates me.
- My ADD/ADHD/W/e
- My OCD
- Food problems
I just want to be a normal teenager. I dont want to feel this way, I want to enjoy my life, and I want to feel loved. Okay I complain often, but I'm so unhappy with myself. I dont know what to do anymore, Im sick of trying to be a perfectionist, I know I'm not perfect. I set high expectations and expect them to be followed, but in reality, I dont even want to wake up tomorrow. I want to be left alone, but not feel lonely. I awnt to be loved, but not suffocated. I want to be happy, but not pretend. Why is that so hard to ask for?