Comments | eyeofphoebus: Responsibilites of 1914

eyeofphoebus

Responsibilites of 1914

May 29, 2007 00:11

Here is a riddle. To get the job at Yankee Candle will give me leave to enjoy my leisure time. It will also dramatically decrease my leisure time by about 2/3. It will give me five grand in two and a half months. It will also cost me forty minutes of gas getting to and from the factory every day. It will not involve communication with human beings ( Read more... )

Comments 7

algabal May 29 2007, 05:01:13 UTC

Maybe an alternative will appear which is better than Yankee Candle or suicide.

eyeofphoebus May 29 2007, 19:23:10 UTC

i'd like there to be one. but something tells me there just isn't going to be. and that something is my father in the next room shouting 'get a job, you bum'.

pegiuno77 May 29 2007, 05:06:31 UTC

do it! id do it. then again at this point id work anywhere for anything.

pegiuno77 May 29 2007, 05:14:15 UTC

i would personally prefer it if you didn't commit any kind of suicide, though but if you must, you could always politely pull over, keep the car running attatch a hose to your exhaust pipe stick it through your window, plug up any gaps and pump up the jams!... because, i mean if youre going to do it you might as well have a good time.

eyeofphoebus May 29 2007, 19:25:17 UTC

you're right. or better yet, i can always drive blindfolded onto the on-ramp. still rather violent, but i'll bet it's fun.

my_wonder_wall May 30 2007, 15:41:27 UTC

so after reading your post, i had a dream about this. You/I (you know how dreams combine people) were working in yankee candle, making candles, and at the end of your shift, you walked through NHS to get to the parking lot/91. Now if you didn't make a certain number of candles by the end of your shift, you and your group of candle makers had to be on your toes, because it was this common knowledge that you and the other group of candle makers were like rival gangs, and whoever didn't get thier quota met was the less dominant that day, so there was the possibility of getting jumped by the other victorious group. You had designated body gaurds in your group who carried concealed weapons, and walked you to your car, but I remember you/I thinking: Well this is pointless, because one of these days im just going to commit violent suicide on 91 anyways...these bodygaurds are putting thier lives in danger so unnecessarely! But you couldn't say anything because everyone loved you because you were like, the candle making God, the best the group ( ... )

eyeofphoebus May 31 2007, 15:48:02 UTC

i have a feeling your dream is about to become a reality. the YC warehouse is disguised as trucking company and it looks like a place where the west side story kids would go to have a rumble.