Weathering Life
I should be continuing my homework but I can’t stop thinking about the event that has occurred last night. Which is why I thought of typing it, to stop thinking about it.
Last night, I went to sleep at 11 PM, everything normal so far. Suddenly in the middle of my sleep I heard a loud noise. The moment I opened my eyes I saw nothing! Everything around me was black and I couldn’t hear anything either. The first thought that came up to my mind is “I’m dead”.
I tried to move my legs, but since it was covered by my blanket, I couldn’t. My brain somehow interpreted that as me being in a coffin.
I kept overthinking and thought I must have died in my sleep. That is weird, I know, but I always had a feeling that I might die in my sleep.
Since I’m claustrophobic, I immediately tried to get out of my “coffin”. I raised my hands, and surprisingly, was not hit by something.
In that moment, I got confused. Am I not in a coffin?
I tried moving my legs and for some reasons they were not as hard to move as before and were surrounded by something soft. I didn’t even try to think about what is happening to me, I just wanted to learn what is going on.
When I kept moving, I figured I was in my bed so I jumped out of it, looking for any kind of light. I knew I was in my room and tried to get out but that turned to be a hard task in the darkness. I accidentally bumped into my sister’s bed which made her wake up. When she noticed the darkness she screamed. My first instinct led me to talk to her, try to calm down, which I succeeded in doing. But she was obviously scared of the darkness, like I was in that time. Therefore I looked for a light, anything even if it is a small speck of light, I just needed to find it. I moved to open the curtains, thinking that it might be morning, but I was greeted with darkness. However there was a dim light from our neighbor’s house which allowed us to see.
Using the hazy light, I moved towards the door while pulling my sister with me. I found my mother in the living room using her phone’s flash as a light. She told us that a simple blackout occurred throughout the neighborhood. The electricity was restored in 2 minutes so we didn’t have anything to worry about.
They all might have went back to sleep instantly but I couldn’t. I was not able to stop thinking about myself. How did I interpret what occurred as me dying?
How?
I might have been tired to the point of dying this week but I didn’t think I will literally die.
I am glad I experienced this. Two years ago, all I could think of is how useless my life is and how much I wanted to die. I might have recovered a bit from my severe depression. I, however, couldn’t stop the thoughts that came to me occasionally about wanting to die.
Now, all I think of is I’m grateful I’m still alive. There are a lot of things I still haven’t experienced or achieved. I want to live my life to the fullest!
Dying is a scary thing. I am a huge coward that is why I didn’t kill myself two years ago. Now, after knowing the fear of “being dead” I will never think about wanting to die ever again.
Last night, I went to sleep at 11 PM, everything normal so far. Suddenly in the middle of my sleep I heard a loud noise. The moment I opened my eyes I saw nothing! Everything around me was black and I couldn’t hear anything either. The first thought that came up to my mind is “I’m dead”.
I tried to move my legs, but since it was covered by my blanket, I couldn’t. My brain somehow interpreted that as me being in a coffin.
I kept overthinking and thought I must have died in my sleep. That is weird, I know, but I always had a feeling that I might die in my sleep.
Since I’m claustrophobic, I immediately tried to get out of my “coffin”. I raised my hands, and surprisingly, was not hit by something.
In that moment, I got confused. Am I not in a coffin?
I tried moving my legs and for some reasons they were not as hard to move as before and were surrounded by something soft. I didn’t even try to think about what is happening to me, I just wanted to learn what is going on.
When I kept moving, I figured I was in my bed so I jumped out of it, looking for any kind of light. I knew I was in my room and tried to get out but that turned to be a hard task in the darkness. I accidentally bumped into my sister’s bed which made her wake up. When she noticed the darkness she screamed. My first instinct led me to talk to her, try to calm down, which I succeeded in doing. But she was obviously scared of the darkness, like I was in that time. Therefore I looked for a light, anything even if it is a small speck of light, I just needed to find it. I moved to open the curtains, thinking that it might be morning, but I was greeted with darkness. However there was a dim light from our neighbor’s house which allowed us to see.
Using the hazy light, I moved towards the door while pulling my sister with me. I found my mother in the living room using her phone’s flash as a light. She told us that a simple blackout occurred throughout the neighborhood. The electricity was restored in 2 minutes so we didn’t have anything to worry about.
They all might have went back to sleep instantly but I couldn’t. I was not able to stop thinking about myself. How did I interpret what occurred as me dying?
How?
I might have been tired to the point of dying this week but I didn’t think I will literally die.
I am glad I experienced this. Two years ago, all I could think of is how useless my life is and how much I wanted to die. I might have recovered a bit from my severe depression. I, however, couldn’t stop the thoughts that came to me occasionally about wanting to die.
Now, all I think of is I’m grateful I’m still alive. There are a lot of things I still haven’t experienced or achieved. I want to live my life to the fullest!
Dying is a scary thing. I am a huge coward that is why I didn’t kill myself two years ago. Now, after knowing the fear of “being dead” I will never think about wanting to die ever again.