"Second Chances" - QaF fic for tclark1922 by bigboobedcanuck
For tclark1922, who asked for "Brian letting Justin comfort him over something Brian's mother had done/said to hurt Brian." 410 gapfiller, Rated NC-17.
"Let's just say that God gave me a second chance. I don't want to blow it."
Rain had slicked the roads and as they headed towards the loft, Justin stupidly thought to himself that the streetlights glittered like diamonds. He shook his head and smiled. He really needed to stop acting like a schoolgirl on her first date, but ever since Brian had run into Babylon and literally swept him off his feet, he’d been on cloud nine.
He looked over at Brian, and his smile faltered. Brian’s eyes had a faraway look that Justin knew was sadness, although he couldn’t think of the cause. Brian had finally gotten a hard-on again after a freaking eternity (okay, so it was only a couple of weeks, but it seemed like forever).
Justin’s jeans were sticky from kneeling on the floor of the backroom, but he didn’t care. Brian had looked for him, he hadn’t just picked up the first guy he saw. And Justin had sucked him like there was no tomorrow, Brian’s cock deep in his throat, his fingers grasping Justin’s hair.
The car always seemed too quiet after the commotion of Babylon, and when Justin spoke his voice seemed too loud. “You okay?” He slid his hand up Brian’s leg.
Brian looked over and smiled. “Never better.” He looked back at the road.
Justin left his hand on Brian’s thigh, and tried to believe him.
****
They didn’t waste any time getting to the bedroom when they got home, their clothes quickly shed into a haphazard pile on the floor. The sheets were cool beneath Justin’s back, and he pulled Brian closer, his tongue delving into his mouth. God, he needed this. They both did.
Their bodies slid together and Justin tried to catch his breath as Brian kissed his neck, his tongue moving down to Justin’s nipples. Justin moaned and his hands roamed over Brian’s back as he ground his hard cock upwards. He pulled Brian’s mouth back up to his and kissed him deeply.
After a few minutes, they were both breathing hard and Justin reached out for a condom and lube, thrusting them clumsily into Brian’s hand as he rolled over. He heard the package tear, and then there was silence. He looked over his shoulder and saw Brian staring at the condom in his hand.
“Brian?” Justin wiggled his ass and smiled. “Come on.”
Brian smiled and nodded, but Justin could see that the haunted look was back. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but Brian rolled on top of him, his slick fingers moving inside Justin’s ass.
Justin writhed and started panting, all other thoughts forgotten. “Oh, god-”
Brian removed his fingers and started to push into him. But he stopped suddenly and Justin could feel him begin to soften before he rolled away and sat up.
Shit.
Well, it was still bound to happen, it was kind of silly to think that he’d be magically back to normal. Justin spoke softly. “Brian-”
Brian heaved himself up and yanked on his jeans. “Don’t say anything.” As Justin opened his mouth, Brian said, “And I mean it.” He stalked out of the bedroom into the living room.
Justin watched him from the bed, debating about the best way to handle it. Brian was silhouetted against the window; smoke swirling gently around his head, one hand on the pane of glass. When he lit his second cigarette, Justin put on his track pants and quietly approached.
He didn’t touch him, although his fingers yearned to reach out. “It’s okay, Brian. You can’t expect everything to be fixed overnight.”
Brian exhaled sharply, smoke billowing outwards. “I know that.” He took another drag. “And you’re not very good at following instructions.”
“I know. So come to bed and stop being such a queen.”
Brian smirked slightly, which Justin took as a good sign. He cautiously wrapped his arms around Brian’s waist and kissed his back. “You already had one hell of an orgasm tonight anyway. Maybe I just give too good a blowjob these days.”
Brian smiled faintly. “You certainly are a prodigy in that department.”
“I learned from the best, after all.” He sucked on Brian’s earlobe softly and his hand caressed Brian’s stomach.
Brian tensed. “Don’t.”
“I wasn’t. I’m just….” Justin’s arms fell away. “What’s wrong? Do you think it’ll be different? You don’t have to worry, Brian. You know that nothing’s changed for me, right?”
“I know,” Brian sighed. He stubbed out his cigarette. “It’s not your fault, Justin.”
“It’s not yours, either.”
Brian snorted. “I just need to stop fucking thinking. But I can’t. Goddamned pink elephants.”
Justin said nothing, but rubbed Brian’s back gently. He knew that it was easier said than done for Brian to stop thinking about the surgery, and that he’d only make things worse if he offered advice.
“I just wish she’d leave me alone.”
Justin’s hand froze. “She?” His brow furrowed.
Brian lit yet another cigarette and after a while said, “My mom. She dropped by the office.”
“Oh.” Shit. Justin couldn’t think of anything to say. “Why?”
Brian huffed out a laugh. “Shock of shocks, Debbie couldn’t keep her fucking mouth shut, and decided that mother dearest should be informed of her precious son’s unfortunate medical condition.”
“So she came to see you?”
“Yep. She told me she loved me.” Brian’s voice was strangely hard.
Justin moved so he was standing in front of Brian, forcing him to take a step backwards. “But that’s good. Right?”
Brian stared out into the night over Justin’s shoulder. “Yeah, it’s great.”
“Maybe she-”
“She told me God is punishing me. You know, for being a fag and all.”
Justin closed his eyes and leaned back, his head making a dull thump on the glass. He opened them again to find Brian still looking somewhere in the distance. He went on, “But you’ll be happy to hear that it’s not too late - I can still turn my life around.”
Justin raised his hand and his fingers grazed Brian’s cheek. Brian finally looked at him, and Justin swallowed hard before he spoke. “She’s a twisted old woman who thinks that what she believes is right. But it’s not.” He pressed their lips together. “But it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you,” he whispered. “And it’s her loss.”
Brian cupped Justin’s face in his hand and looked at him so intently that Justin found himself holding his breath, his throat suddenly dry. Then Brian wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in his neck. Justin held him tightly, Brian boneless in his arms. They stayed that way for a long time, until the slight trembling stopped.
Brian slowly started kissing his neck, and Justin’s hands travelled over Brian’s strong back. Justin gasped quietly when Brian’s hands slid beneath his track pants to cup his ass. He kissed him forcefully, his tongue sweeping into Brian’s mouth.
The glass was cool beneath Justin’s back as Brian pressed him into the window, their lips and tongues moving together. Brian ground his hips forward, and Justin could feel a hardness that matched his own. Brian turned him around and tugged his track pants down.
His cheek was pressed into the window and when Brian’s tongue flicked his hole, he fleetingly wondered if the glass was reinforced. Brian’s hands opened Justin’s ass as his tongue moved in and out. Then he was gone, and Justin swayed slightly on his feet.
A few seconds later, he heard the wrapper rip open, and Brian’s body pressed him into the window once more. Brian thrust into him in a single stroke, and Justin’s breath caught in his throat. He thought he might come right then and there. At first, they remained still, both struggling to get back in control.
As Brian began to move inside him, his hands covered Justin’s splayed fingers and their breath mingled, fogging up the glass. Justin’s head rolled back and Brian murmured his name.
The city spread out before them and far into the distance, the streetlights glittered.
"Let's just say that God gave me a second chance. I don't want to blow it."
Rain had slicked the roads and as they headed towards the loft, Justin stupidly thought to himself that the streetlights glittered like diamonds. He shook his head and smiled. He really needed to stop acting like a schoolgirl on her first date, but ever since Brian had run into Babylon and literally swept him off his feet, he’d been on cloud nine.
He looked over at Brian, and his smile faltered. Brian’s eyes had a faraway look that Justin knew was sadness, although he couldn’t think of the cause. Brian had finally gotten a hard-on again after a freaking eternity (okay, so it was only a couple of weeks, but it seemed like forever).
Justin’s jeans were sticky from kneeling on the floor of the backroom, but he didn’t care. Brian had looked for him, he hadn’t just picked up the first guy he saw. And Justin had sucked him like there was no tomorrow, Brian’s cock deep in his throat, his fingers grasping Justin’s hair.
The car always seemed too quiet after the commotion of Babylon, and when Justin spoke his voice seemed too loud. “You okay?” He slid his hand up Brian’s leg.
Brian looked over and smiled. “Never better.” He looked back at the road.
Justin left his hand on Brian’s thigh, and tried to believe him.
****
They didn’t waste any time getting to the bedroom when they got home, their clothes quickly shed into a haphazard pile on the floor. The sheets were cool beneath Justin’s back, and he pulled Brian closer, his tongue delving into his mouth. God, he needed this. They both did.
Their bodies slid together and Justin tried to catch his breath as Brian kissed his neck, his tongue moving down to Justin’s nipples. Justin moaned and his hands roamed over Brian’s back as he ground his hard cock upwards. He pulled Brian’s mouth back up to his and kissed him deeply.
After a few minutes, they were both breathing hard and Justin reached out for a condom and lube, thrusting them clumsily into Brian’s hand as he rolled over. He heard the package tear, and then there was silence. He looked over his shoulder and saw Brian staring at the condom in his hand.
“Brian?” Justin wiggled his ass and smiled. “Come on.”
Brian smiled and nodded, but Justin could see that the haunted look was back. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but Brian rolled on top of him, his slick fingers moving inside Justin’s ass.
Justin writhed and started panting, all other thoughts forgotten. “Oh, god-”
Brian removed his fingers and started to push into him. But he stopped suddenly and Justin could feel him begin to soften before he rolled away and sat up.
Shit.
Well, it was still bound to happen, it was kind of silly to think that he’d be magically back to normal. Justin spoke softly. “Brian-”
Brian heaved himself up and yanked on his jeans. “Don’t say anything.” As Justin opened his mouth, Brian said, “And I mean it.” He stalked out of the bedroom into the living room.
Justin watched him from the bed, debating about the best way to handle it. Brian was silhouetted against the window; smoke swirling gently around his head, one hand on the pane of glass. When he lit his second cigarette, Justin put on his track pants and quietly approached.
He didn’t touch him, although his fingers yearned to reach out. “It’s okay, Brian. You can’t expect everything to be fixed overnight.”
Brian exhaled sharply, smoke billowing outwards. “I know that.” He took another drag. “And you’re not very good at following instructions.”
“I know. So come to bed and stop being such a queen.”
Brian smirked slightly, which Justin took as a good sign. He cautiously wrapped his arms around Brian’s waist and kissed his back. “You already had one hell of an orgasm tonight anyway. Maybe I just give too good a blowjob these days.”
Brian smiled faintly. “You certainly are a prodigy in that department.”
“I learned from the best, after all.” He sucked on Brian’s earlobe softly and his hand caressed Brian’s stomach.
Brian tensed. “Don’t.”
“I wasn’t. I’m just….” Justin’s arms fell away. “What’s wrong? Do you think it’ll be different? You don’t have to worry, Brian. You know that nothing’s changed for me, right?”
“I know,” Brian sighed. He stubbed out his cigarette. “It’s not your fault, Justin.”
“It’s not yours, either.”
Brian snorted. “I just need to stop fucking thinking. But I can’t. Goddamned pink elephants.”
Justin said nothing, but rubbed Brian’s back gently. He knew that it was easier said than done for Brian to stop thinking about the surgery, and that he’d only make things worse if he offered advice.
“I just wish she’d leave me alone.”
Justin’s hand froze. “She?” His brow furrowed.
Brian lit yet another cigarette and after a while said, “My mom. She dropped by the office.”
“Oh.” Shit. Justin couldn’t think of anything to say. “Why?”
Brian huffed out a laugh. “Shock of shocks, Debbie couldn’t keep her fucking mouth shut, and decided that mother dearest should be informed of her precious son’s unfortunate medical condition.”
“So she came to see you?”
“Yep. She told me she loved me.” Brian’s voice was strangely hard.
Justin moved so he was standing in front of Brian, forcing him to take a step backwards. “But that’s good. Right?”
Brian stared out into the night over Justin’s shoulder. “Yeah, it’s great.”
“Maybe she-”
“She told me God is punishing me. You know, for being a fag and all.”
Justin closed his eyes and leaned back, his head making a dull thump on the glass. He opened them again to find Brian still looking somewhere in the distance. He went on, “But you’ll be happy to hear that it’s not too late - I can still turn my life around.”
Justin raised his hand and his fingers grazed Brian’s cheek. Brian finally looked at him, and Justin swallowed hard before he spoke. “She’s a twisted old woman who thinks that what she believes is right. But it’s not.” He pressed their lips together. “But it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you,” he whispered. “And it’s her loss.”
Brian cupped Justin’s face in his hand and looked at him so intently that Justin found himself holding his breath, his throat suddenly dry. Then Brian wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in his neck. Justin held him tightly, Brian boneless in his arms. They stayed that way for a long time, until the slight trembling stopped.
Brian slowly started kissing his neck, and Justin’s hands travelled over Brian’s strong back. Justin gasped quietly when Brian’s hands slid beneath his track pants to cup his ass. He kissed him forcefully, his tongue sweeping into Brian’s mouth.
The glass was cool beneath Justin’s back as Brian pressed him into the window, their lips and tongues moving together. Brian ground his hips forward, and Justin could feel a hardness that matched his own. Brian turned him around and tugged his track pants down.
His cheek was pressed into the window and when Brian’s tongue flicked his hole, he fleetingly wondered if the glass was reinforced. Brian’s hands opened Justin’s ass as his tongue moved in and out. Then he was gone, and Justin swayed slightly on his feet.
A few seconds later, he heard the wrapper rip open, and Brian’s body pressed him into the window once more. Brian thrust into him in a single stroke, and Justin’s breath caught in his throat. He thought he might come right then and there. At first, they remained still, both struggling to get back in control.
As Brian began to move inside him, his hands covered Justin’s splayed fingers and their breath mingled, fogging up the glass. Justin’s head rolled back and Brian murmured his name.
The city spread out before them and far into the distance, the streetlights glittered.