FIC: Middle Of Summer, PATD, Brendon/?, r
Title: Middle Of Summer
Author: Nikki
Fandom: Panic At The Disco
Pairing/characters: Brendon Urie/?
Rating: R
Word Count: 1811
Prompt: Prompt 640: RPF - Bandom: Brendon Urie. Brendon has always wanted to be completely honest about being gay, but he didn't want the initial press attention the band receives to be all about his sexuality. At what point in the band's career does he finally come out?
Summary: Brendon finds true love and needs to tell the world.
Warnings: Slash, angst.
Author's Notes: Beta-ed by thinkme_naive and wedreamalone. Any remaining mistakes are mine.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone or anything mentioned here.
There was a certain irony, Brendon thought, he sung about finding love in summer, and then he found love in summer, it was like fate was watching over him. He lay in bed next to his lover and watched the sunlight move across the celing.
“I think,” he said slowly, “that it’s time to come out.”
“I hate to break it to you, but you’re not exactly in.”
“Ha ha. You know what I mean.”
“Yeah.”
They were silent. Brendon glanced at the clock and saw it was nearly two pm. He sighed and got out of bed. He padded to the shower and started the water. As he was rummaging for a towel, he heard his lover come up behind him.
“You know, you don’t have to go in just yet, do you?”
Brendon turned and smiled. “Well, Ryan might kill me, but I think it’ll be worth it.”
His lover smiled back and led Brendon to the shower.
****
When Brendon got to the studio, the others were already working on the new album. Jon waved at him when he entered. Brendon waved back and sat next to him on the couch. They watched as Spencer played the drums for the new track. Jon leaned over and whispered, “Dude, Ryan is pissed.”
Brendon shrugged. There was nothing he could do about that now. Ryan turned from the mixing boards and glared at Brendon.
“Why the hell are you so late?” he demanded.
“I got caught up.”
“In what?”
“More like who,” Spencer said dryly as he exited the recording booth.
Jon laughed and nudged Brendon in the side. “Come on, man. When are you going to tell us about your new love?”
Brendon cleared his throat and looked at the floor. “Actually, I wanted to talk about that,” he paused and gathered his thoughts. “I want to come out. For real, not just some random comment at a show. He deserves it. Fuck, I deserve it.” He let out a breath and glanced up at them. “It’s important. I’m going to tell my parents even if you say no.”
They all stared at Brendon. Jon put his arm over his shoulders. “Are you sure?”
“About what?” Brendon turned to him.
“All of it.”
Brendon nodded. “Yeah and so is he.” He looked over at Ryan and Spencer, who were huddled together next to the door to the recording booth. “You think they’ll be okay with it?”
“I don’t see why not. You deserve to be happy.”
“Thank you, Jon Walker.”
****
Brendon had wanted to come out right when he knew he was gay. Which was pretty much since he was eight. However, Brendon knew his parents would freak out, so he kept it a secret. When he met Ryan, Spencer, and Brent though, he told them right away. Well, as soon as he was in the band for real.
“I’m gay,” Brendon announced proudly. “But, my parents don’t know, so don’t tell them.”
Brent kind of looked scared for a minute, but quickly wiped his face of any emotion. “That’s cool, I guess.” Brendon grimaced, but accepted Brent needed more time.
Ryan blinked at him. “Just don’t let it fuck up the band or I’ll kill you.” Brendon nodded. He was terrified of Ryan Ross.
Spencer just stared. “Seriously? I knew that already.” At that, Brendon grinned widely. He always knew Spencer was awesome.
The real problem came up when they toured with The Academy Is…, Brendon spent a lot of time on their bus and a lot of time with Adam T. Siska. One night when Brendon came back, Ryan lit into him.
“What the fuck are you thinking?” Ryan cried.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Brendon mumbled.
“I saw you! And so did half the tour!”
“Uh…”
“You were making out with Sisky! In front of everyone! What if a fan took a picture? Brendon, you have to think about these things!”
Brendon let Ryan run out of steam, and then hugged him. “I’m really sorry Ryan. I didn’t mean to.”
Ryan hugged back. “I know, I know. But, I don’t think the band is big enough yet.”
“I know,” Brendon whispered into his shoulder.
Ryan hugged him tighter.
****
It was easier when Jon joined the band, since he already knew Brendon was gay. Plus, he tried to help Brendon find some hot boys.
“No, really Jon. I don’t want your help,” Brendon held his arms out in front of him, like that would ward Jon off.
Jon just grinned. “Really? ‘Cause I don’t see you with…anyone.”
Brendon’s eyes flitted over to Spencer and Ryan. “It’s not good for the band. For me to be seen with anyone, I mean.”
Jon frowned and looked over at the other two. “Did they say that?”
“We all decided it was better this way.”
“Hmmm. Can I at least point out hot guys?”
“Hell yes, Jon Walker.”
****
After making Pretty.Odd., Brendon thought he should come out. “I mean, come on. When’s a better time than now? I could do it before the record dropped, well not like before before or else people might think it’s a ploy. Maybe after the record was released, like a month or more?” he said from the floor of the studio.
“Brendon,” Ryan sighed and walked around the studio.
“Maybe he’s right Ryan. It’s a new, not image exactly, but a new time in our lives. We’re all happy and in love. Brendon deserves that too,” said Spencer from the couch.
“Jon, what do you think?” Ryan asked the bassist.
Jon scratched his face and slouched deeper in the chair. “I think Brendon should do what he wants.”
Ryan sighed again. “I just don’t know.”
Brendon got up from the floor and stood in front of Ryan. “What if I hinted at it? Like, I could make jokes about it at shows and stuff. That way we could ease people into it.”
Ryan looked at him for a long time before agreeing.
****
For months, Brendon dropped every hint that he could. The fans ate it up, but no one really said anything. Brendon pouted a lot of the time.
“Why doesn’t anyone ask me?” he whined from the couch on the bus. He had his purple hoodie on.
“Ask you what?” snapped Spencer. He slammed his phone on the table.
Brendon burrowed deeper into his hoodie. “I just want someone to ask me about all the hints I’ve been dropping,” he muttered as he played with a sleeve.
“Why? It’s not like you can say anything anyway,” Spencer curled his upper lip. “Besides, what would you say? ‘I’m only playing. Don’t worry.’”
Brendon whimpered at the onslaught of words. Jon frowned as he came from the back of the bus.
“Spencer James Smith V. Just because you and Hayley are fighting is no reason to take it out on Brendon,” Jon said sternly.
Spencer wilted and sat next to Brendon. “I’m sorry. I’m just so mad.”
Brendon cuddled up next to Spencer. “I know. I still love you Spencer Smith.”
“Thanks.”
Brendon smiled sadly into Spencer’s shoulder.
****
Panic had just started making their third album, when Brendon fell in love with someone. His boyfriend was in the same boat as Brendon, kind of.
Brendon panted as his lover bit his neck. They were standing in Brendon’s hotel room, next to the bed. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. They guys said it was cool. It’s not like we’re big enough yet for it to mean anything. Or whatever.”
His lover pushed Brendon back on the bed and climbed on top.
“Maybe, maybe I should talk to Ryan,” Brendon moaned.
“How about later, huh? When neither of us is busy.”
“That sounds like a good idea.” Brendon grabbed his lover’s hair and pulled him down.
****
Brendon leaned on Jon, as they waited for Ryan’s verdict. Brendon knew Spencer was talking Ryan into it, although Brendon also knew Ryan didn’t need that much prodding.
“Okay,” Ryan sighed. “Okay. Just…do it tastefully, yeah?”
“Oh right, ‘cause when you got married that was so tasteful,” Jon snarked back at him.
Ryan grinned. “What can I say? Keltie had certain ideas.”
Spencer rolled his eyes and sat next to Jon. “Please. I know for a fact half of that frilly shit was your idea.”
Brendon laughed. “You and Jon had a ton of frilly shit at your wedding!”
“That was the moms idea!” Jon protested. He was still bitter about having lace tablecloths. Spencer smiled at his husband and snuggled next to him.
“I know you’re still a manly man, Jon,” he said. Ryan burst out laughing.
Brendon looked at his three friends and smiled. They were always there for him and never made him feel awkward or stupid. Well, no more than usual. He threw his arm over the back of the couch and said thoughtfully, “Who ever thought Ryan would be the straight one?”
Ryan squawked in protest as Jon and Spencer cried with laughter.
****
Brendon Urie Is Cleaning Out His Closet!
Brendon Urie of Panic At The Disco has recently come out of his closet! Good for him! Brendon sat down with us two weeks ago to give us the first look at his new life.
CL: So, you had something to tell us?
BU: -takes a deep breath- I’m gay.
CL: -silence- Excuse me?
BU: That’s right. I’ve been gay since I was a kid, but many things kept me from coming out.
CL: Like what?
BU: My family and religion, the band, the press, and fans.
CL: Let’s start with the fans?
BU: Well, I didn’t want them to hate me for being gay. That’s not cool. -smile-
CL: No it’s not. The press?
BU: Photographic evidence.
CL: Ah. The band?
BU: We got big really quick. We didn’t know what my coming out would do. Pete and all the Clan already knew, so…
CL: And your family?
BU: -silence- We aren’t talking right now, but hopefully soon. If not, I still have everyone on the label.
CL: -nods- Are you seeing anyone?
BU: -beams- I certainly am! I’m super excited about it too. We’ve been dating for about six months and it’s going so well.
CL: Is he the reason you decided to come out?
BU: Only partly. Both he and I deserve to be out and doing all sorts of couple-y things.
CL: May I ask who it is?
BU: Sure.
CL: -laughs- Who is it?
BU: Ian Crawford, from The Cab.
At this point in the interview Ian entered the room and sat next to Brendon. They kissed and Brendon curled up next to the younger boy.
CL: -flustered- That was unexpected.
BU: Yeah.
Brendon looked happy as Ian put his arm around him. You can’t fault this interviewer for thinking it was fucking adorable.
The new Panic At The Disco, Living Large, album will be out October 6th.
Author: Nikki
Fandom: Panic At The Disco
Pairing/characters: Brendon Urie/?
Rating: R
Word Count: 1811
Prompt: Prompt 640: RPF - Bandom: Brendon Urie. Brendon has always wanted to be completely honest about being gay, but he didn't want the initial press attention the band receives to be all about his sexuality. At what point in the band's career does he finally come out?
Summary: Brendon finds true love and needs to tell the world.
Warnings: Slash, angst.
Author's Notes: Beta-ed by thinkme_naive and wedreamalone. Any remaining mistakes are mine.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone or anything mentioned here.
There was a certain irony, Brendon thought, he sung about finding love in summer, and then he found love in summer, it was like fate was watching over him. He lay in bed next to his lover and watched the sunlight move across the celing.
“I think,” he said slowly, “that it’s time to come out.”
“I hate to break it to you, but you’re not exactly in.”
“Ha ha. You know what I mean.”
“Yeah.”
They were silent. Brendon glanced at the clock and saw it was nearly two pm. He sighed and got out of bed. He padded to the shower and started the water. As he was rummaging for a towel, he heard his lover come up behind him.
“You know, you don’t have to go in just yet, do you?”
Brendon turned and smiled. “Well, Ryan might kill me, but I think it’ll be worth it.”
His lover smiled back and led Brendon to the shower.
****
When Brendon got to the studio, the others were already working on the new album. Jon waved at him when he entered. Brendon waved back and sat next to him on the couch. They watched as Spencer played the drums for the new track. Jon leaned over and whispered, “Dude, Ryan is pissed.”
Brendon shrugged. There was nothing he could do about that now. Ryan turned from the mixing boards and glared at Brendon.
“Why the hell are you so late?” he demanded.
“I got caught up.”
“In what?”
“More like who,” Spencer said dryly as he exited the recording booth.
Jon laughed and nudged Brendon in the side. “Come on, man. When are you going to tell us about your new love?”
Brendon cleared his throat and looked at the floor. “Actually, I wanted to talk about that,” he paused and gathered his thoughts. “I want to come out. For real, not just some random comment at a show. He deserves it. Fuck, I deserve it.” He let out a breath and glanced up at them. “It’s important. I’m going to tell my parents even if you say no.”
They all stared at Brendon. Jon put his arm over his shoulders. “Are you sure?”
“About what?” Brendon turned to him.
“All of it.”
Brendon nodded. “Yeah and so is he.” He looked over at Ryan and Spencer, who were huddled together next to the door to the recording booth. “You think they’ll be okay with it?”
“I don’t see why not. You deserve to be happy.”
“Thank you, Jon Walker.”
****
Brendon had wanted to come out right when he knew he was gay. Which was pretty much since he was eight. However, Brendon knew his parents would freak out, so he kept it a secret. When he met Ryan, Spencer, and Brent though, he told them right away. Well, as soon as he was in the band for real.
“I’m gay,” Brendon announced proudly. “But, my parents don’t know, so don’t tell them.”
Brent kind of looked scared for a minute, but quickly wiped his face of any emotion. “That’s cool, I guess.” Brendon grimaced, but accepted Brent needed more time.
Ryan blinked at him. “Just don’t let it fuck up the band or I’ll kill you.” Brendon nodded. He was terrified of Ryan Ross.
Spencer just stared. “Seriously? I knew that already.” At that, Brendon grinned widely. He always knew Spencer was awesome.
The real problem came up when they toured with The Academy Is…, Brendon spent a lot of time on their bus and a lot of time with Adam T. Siska. One night when Brendon came back, Ryan lit into him.
“What the fuck are you thinking?” Ryan cried.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Brendon mumbled.
“I saw you! And so did half the tour!”
“Uh…”
“You were making out with Sisky! In front of everyone! What if a fan took a picture? Brendon, you have to think about these things!”
Brendon let Ryan run out of steam, and then hugged him. “I’m really sorry Ryan. I didn’t mean to.”
Ryan hugged back. “I know, I know. But, I don’t think the band is big enough yet.”
“I know,” Brendon whispered into his shoulder.
Ryan hugged him tighter.
****
It was easier when Jon joined the band, since he already knew Brendon was gay. Plus, he tried to help Brendon find some hot boys.
“No, really Jon. I don’t want your help,” Brendon held his arms out in front of him, like that would ward Jon off.
Jon just grinned. “Really? ‘Cause I don’t see you with…anyone.”
Brendon’s eyes flitted over to Spencer and Ryan. “It’s not good for the band. For me to be seen with anyone, I mean.”
Jon frowned and looked over at the other two. “Did they say that?”
“We all decided it was better this way.”
“Hmmm. Can I at least point out hot guys?”
“Hell yes, Jon Walker.”
****
After making Pretty.Odd., Brendon thought he should come out. “I mean, come on. When’s a better time than now? I could do it before the record dropped, well not like before before or else people might think it’s a ploy. Maybe after the record was released, like a month or more?” he said from the floor of the studio.
“Brendon,” Ryan sighed and walked around the studio.
“Maybe he’s right Ryan. It’s a new, not image exactly, but a new time in our lives. We’re all happy and in love. Brendon deserves that too,” said Spencer from the couch.
“Jon, what do you think?” Ryan asked the bassist.
Jon scratched his face and slouched deeper in the chair. “I think Brendon should do what he wants.”
Ryan sighed again. “I just don’t know.”
Brendon got up from the floor and stood in front of Ryan. “What if I hinted at it? Like, I could make jokes about it at shows and stuff. That way we could ease people into it.”
Ryan looked at him for a long time before agreeing.
****
For months, Brendon dropped every hint that he could. The fans ate it up, but no one really said anything. Brendon pouted a lot of the time.
“Why doesn’t anyone ask me?” he whined from the couch on the bus. He had his purple hoodie on.
“Ask you what?” snapped Spencer. He slammed his phone on the table.
Brendon burrowed deeper into his hoodie. “I just want someone to ask me about all the hints I’ve been dropping,” he muttered as he played with a sleeve.
“Why? It’s not like you can say anything anyway,” Spencer curled his upper lip. “Besides, what would you say? ‘I’m only playing. Don’t worry.’”
Brendon whimpered at the onslaught of words. Jon frowned as he came from the back of the bus.
“Spencer James Smith V. Just because you and Hayley are fighting is no reason to take it out on Brendon,” Jon said sternly.
Spencer wilted and sat next to Brendon. “I’m sorry. I’m just so mad.”
Brendon cuddled up next to Spencer. “I know. I still love you Spencer Smith.”
“Thanks.”
Brendon smiled sadly into Spencer’s shoulder.
****
Panic had just started making their third album, when Brendon fell in love with someone. His boyfriend was in the same boat as Brendon, kind of.
Brendon panted as his lover bit his neck. They were standing in Brendon’s hotel room, next to the bed. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. They guys said it was cool. It’s not like we’re big enough yet for it to mean anything. Or whatever.”
His lover pushed Brendon back on the bed and climbed on top.
“Maybe, maybe I should talk to Ryan,” Brendon moaned.
“How about later, huh? When neither of us is busy.”
“That sounds like a good idea.” Brendon grabbed his lover’s hair and pulled him down.
****
Brendon leaned on Jon, as they waited for Ryan’s verdict. Brendon knew Spencer was talking Ryan into it, although Brendon also knew Ryan didn’t need that much prodding.
“Okay,” Ryan sighed. “Okay. Just…do it tastefully, yeah?”
“Oh right, ‘cause when you got married that was so tasteful,” Jon snarked back at him.
Ryan grinned. “What can I say? Keltie had certain ideas.”
Spencer rolled his eyes and sat next to Jon. “Please. I know for a fact half of that frilly shit was your idea.”
Brendon laughed. “You and Jon had a ton of frilly shit at your wedding!”
“That was the moms idea!” Jon protested. He was still bitter about having lace tablecloths. Spencer smiled at his husband and snuggled next to him.
“I know you’re still a manly man, Jon,” he said. Ryan burst out laughing.
Brendon looked at his three friends and smiled. They were always there for him and never made him feel awkward or stupid. Well, no more than usual. He threw his arm over the back of the couch and said thoughtfully, “Who ever thought Ryan would be the straight one?”
Ryan squawked in protest as Jon and Spencer cried with laughter.
****
Brendon Urie Is Cleaning Out His Closet!
Brendon Urie of Panic At The Disco has recently come out of his closet! Good for him! Brendon sat down with us two weeks ago to give us the first look at his new life.
CL: So, you had something to tell us?
BU: -takes a deep breath- I’m gay.
CL: -silence- Excuse me?
BU: That’s right. I’ve been gay since I was a kid, but many things kept me from coming out.
CL: Like what?
BU: My family and religion, the band, the press, and fans.
CL: Let’s start with the fans?
BU: Well, I didn’t want them to hate me for being gay. That’s not cool. -smile-
CL: No it’s not. The press?
BU: Photographic evidence.
CL: Ah. The band?
BU: We got big really quick. We didn’t know what my coming out would do. Pete and all the Clan already knew, so…
CL: And your family?
BU: -silence- We aren’t talking right now, but hopefully soon. If not, I still have everyone on the label.
CL: -nods- Are you seeing anyone?
BU: -beams- I certainly am! I’m super excited about it too. We’ve been dating for about six months and it’s going so well.
CL: Is he the reason you decided to come out?
BU: Only partly. Both he and I deserve to be out and doing all sorts of couple-y things.
CL: May I ask who it is?
BU: Sure.
CL: -laughs- Who is it?
BU: Ian Crawford, from The Cab.
At this point in the interview Ian entered the room and sat next to Brendon. They kissed and Brendon curled up next to the younger boy.
CL: -flustered- That was unexpected.
BU: Yeah.
Brendon looked happy as Ian put his arm around him. You can’t fault this interviewer for thinking it was fucking adorable.
The new Panic At The Disco, Living Large, album will be out October 6th.