Comments | faboo: woah, hey, look

faboo

woah, hey, look - it's the INTERNET

Sep 22, 2006 22:19

Almost all violent acts, rape included, are more likely to occur among people who know each other and not from a stranger. Yet we tell children, women, etc. to fear the stranger. Is it because it's easier? I'm not sure I want to promote "fear your family and friends, they are the ones who hurt you". Unfortunately its true.

-- Paul in bitchphd ( Read more... )

parenting, fatherhood

Comments 7

ellf September 23 2006, 12:44:12 UTC

Welcome back!

Does this signify a return to the 'net at home, or just more access from school?

ellf September 23 2006, 17:38:27 UTC

On the father thing: we each deal with our own trials and encounters with the "unfairness" of the universe -- some of us more dramatically than others. We get hurt, we get happy, and we go along our ways.

The lesson that I think you're most apt to teach your son is the one that we realized when we were 18 or 19 -- that what is unfair is not how life unfolds, but that it doesn't meet up with the stories about how it -will- unfold that we have constructed. When you realize that, and you turn your attention towards it, that illusion begins to chip away, and you realize that there is no good and no bad, only good-for-the-ego and bad-for-the-ego.

I'm certain that Liam will grow up equipped to meet that understanding on his own terms, no matter what joy or sorrow brings him to it, and that he will be that way because of you.

Oh, and he'll probably be a ninja, too.

faboo September 25 2006, 02:51:38 UTC

that is a very good lesson to learn, and I don't think it's even that hard to learn....

on ninjas: I just lamented to Tina about there being _way_ more pirate books and paraphanelia for kids than ninja shit. where are the ninja board-books? this is a question I want answered.

fedexecutor September 23 2006, 14:40:37 UTC

Just the fact that you're concerned about questions and issues like these and you're already trying to prepare Liam for them is a testament to how good of a father you are. You're already light years ahead of most fathers.

I wouldn't worry too much. I mean, you should worry a little so that you remember to actively try and teach good values (like you are now). After all, when you stop asking questions you become passive. Unfortunately, I think there's a lot you can show and teach a child in their younger years but not a lot you can control about what they do with those teachings once they're old enough to be on their own.

amethystmoon September 23 2006, 17:27:46 UTC

what he said. I think you're going to be a great father.

faboo September 25 2006, 02:54:56 UTC

thanks :)

I don't think, though, that parenting is about teaching your kid to do good things, but teaching what good things _are_ and why it's better to do them (than bad things).

tecknicaltom September 23 2006, 18:50:56 UTC

I believe the best way to instill values, especially when they are young enough that they are observing the world more than they're making their own decisions, is all by example. A child who is exposed to parents often full of anger and hate will learn anger and hate. A child who is shown that they are loved, even when they do wrong and need to be punished, will learn that doing bad things brings about consequences, but that not all that hurt you dislike you ( ... )