fall from grace; kyuhyun/heechul.
kim heechul, you have been on the outskirts of heaven for far too long. we tried to keep you but even your punishment of maintaining the outer gardens seem to be of no effect. you have forgotten the hardships of mankind and their sins, always flying and speaking out of place, creating havoc among the other Beings.
we will give you one more chance. it has been decided; you are to return to the place in which you originated, among the humans. remember their ways, remember your ways, and you may return when you may.
your wings shall remain hidden and unseen to the human eye at all times. they will be of no use to you. your speech shall not reveal that you are not of the same flesh as them, and if one is to find out of your Being, you will be banished from the holy lands.
as of this moment, the Knowing hereby declare you, kim heechul, Fallen.
heechul's arm swings out and hits the snooze button swiftly as he turns onto his side. the bed groans and creaks, crickets tapping hello against the outside of the window, with the radio alarm starting up again. he gets dressed to the sound of guitars and singers with granite textured voices.
one hundred and forty two years and heechul still walks the streets of seoul. he's been to egypt and rome and jerusalem and america, with his wings glittering at daybreak in ways that no one can see, but he remembers the first time his eyes caught on the crooked steps leading to the brick apartment he lives in now; almost like love at first sight.
there's a music store around the corner from the brick apartment that heechul lives in. on a gray day, that's when and where he finds kyuhyun, with dark locks of hair wet from the rain and messy in his eyes. he was in the classic rock section with headphones around his neck while flipping through the "m" section, lights overhead dim, and heechul kissed him right there after nine long strides.
"i've finally found you," heechul says when they break apart, when they fall apart. kyuhyun's heartbeat is quick against his chest and heechul smiles a little bit at the surprise drawn over his face. "i've found you, i've found you. kyuhyun."
(kyuhyun moves in a week later because heechul has this way of getting what he wants, with his deep brown eyes that occasionally flash maroon red and promises of life.
kyuhyun only brings three bags with him and a backpack full of cassette tapes and games when he moves in. heechul raises an eyebrow from the doorway but doesn't help. he stretches his ghostly wings wide, but kyuhyun doesn't see).
about seven blocks away, there's a musical arts school that kyuhyun attends four days a week. he rides the bus, though walking wouldn't be much of a push, because time slows down during that fifteen minute bus ride from the corner of the neighborhood heechul lives in to the bakery next to the school.
sometimes, on days that the sun is hiding, heechul rides the bus with him. heechul has too much time and no job. heechul has a polaroid camera and endless film. heechul has forever but kyuhyun doesn't. they slow down time in the very back of the bus with laughter and snapshots, fifteen minutes that take days to live out.
sunday, friday, tuesday; the days that kyuhyun doesn't have classes, he ends up singing anyways. it's those ridiculously sunny days that they spend inside, heechul and kyuhyun, tangled up on heechul's bed with the television screen on and sound turned up high, game controllers pressed reflexively.
(conversations are easy and comfortable, like the way heechul's head rests at the joint where leg meets kyuhyun's waist. lazy hours spent eating and talking and playing, boredom sometimes only a blink away. times like those, when thoughts run slow, kyuhyun sings. sometimes heechul makes him and sometimes he sings just because he can.
heechul has been living for already so long, and kyuhyun doesn't mind nights in because heechul turns hours into seconds overfilled with star glazed dreams).
"who's this?" kyuhyun asks one day, while holding an old photograph that's bent at the corners.
heechul looks away from the television screen and stops when he sees the picture in kyuhyun's hand. his eyes get the slightest shade darker as he pushes himself up off the couch. "that, that is hankyung and i'm the one by his side."
"you look exactly the same," kyuhyun says while squinting at the picture. continuing his approach, heechul barely smiles, and plucks the picture from kyuhyun's fingertips, pressing himself close to the other body.
"do you want to know about him? the picture was taken nine months ago, sometime in the spring. he was my morning smile and i was his best friend," he whispers into kyuhyun's ear. "nine months minus a couple weeks ago, he was stolen away by a drunk in the middle of the night and left me alone in this brick apartment. time goes by quick, kyuhyun, time goes by quick, because now you're here," heechul finishes. he laughs, quick and sudden, and goes to sit back on the couch like nothing happened.
kyuhyun blinks and stares at heechul - face still and illuminated by the glow from the television screen, bold headlines and tragedies reflected in his eyes, angles in sharp contrast - before his line of sight trails down to the photograph of hankyung and heechul taken on the roof with moss growing up the brick wall at their backs, smiles perfect.
"i'll be here for a while, hyung."
"brat, since when did you start calling me hyung?"
("'now' doesn't last nearly as long as you think it does," heechul says later that night, while kyuhyun's at the sink brushing his teeth and the television's off, city quiet).
kyuhyun learns how to cook, because heechul doesn't know how and eating chinese take out in front of the television five nights in a row kills. some days, heechul makes dinner though, warmed ramen cups in hand and chopsticks in the other with legs dangling over the edge of his balcony ledge. kyuhyun only stands by his side with elbows against the cement surface and wind in his hair.
kyuhyun faces the city stories below, and watches the sun dip under the sign that blocks the sunset view. heechul's the opposite, facing his own brick apartment building. 'some days' are actually high in number though, because they both like how the steam from the ramen warms their cold bitten faces while they eat, and the view of the world that they have, there on heechul's balcony ledge.
there's broken crayon bits that paint out pictures of birds and beaches that never end, stuck in the texture of the bricks that heechul's apartment building is made of. they're like chalk dust games, but they don't ever fade; the pictures, and heechul kind of loves them. the billboard that blocks the sun has classic black against white letters. during the winter, when the sun sets early and dinner seems late, the billboard stands like a beacon, a quote sponsored beacon. so kyuhyun watches the quotes change while eating.
every now and then, he reads the quotes aloud to heechul, ridiculous things about love gone awry and subtle sex jokes, or just something to fill the silence. other times, he keeps the saying on the tip of his tongue and edge of his thoughts, hidden under his heart, so that no one will see, so that no one know, his regrets of last goodbyes and second chances that are an arm's length away.
("'given angel's wings, where might you fly? in what sweet heaven might you find your love? unwilling to be bound, where might you move, lost between the wonder and the why?'" kyuhyun quotes at heechul on a particularly dark afternoon.
heechul smiles and angles his head to the indigo colored sky, chopsticks and empty cup of ramen on the ledge. he leans back and pretends to tip back, falling, falling; laughs when kyuhyun's eyes widen and hands pull him back down to the ground.
"heaven on earth, where i've found my love, my loves," heechul whispers while patting kyuhyun's cheek. he kisses the corners of kyuhyun's overturned lips before going back inside, chopsticks and ramen cup left on the ledge with the balcony door open. "and angel's wings without being able to fly.")
"heechul, do you know the story of lucifer? how he was perfect in the most perfect way possible but his greed, his ideals of absolution, was his downfall. and they say, they say the day that he fell from grace, when the morning star fell from heaven and into the dark abyss, they say that the sky opened up for the first time after three days of endless storm."
"heechul, do you think it's true? some say that he never made it to hell, and that he's the monster at night who's walking in the dark shadows of burnt eden, waiting for a chance at revenge. but he was so perfect heechul, he was so perfect in everything. how could he fall like that?"
heechul, how could you fall like that.
(when kyuhyun wakes up the next morning, he finds heechul lying flat on his back out on the balcony with eyes opened wide, like he hadn't slept, staring at the sky. the balcony door has been open all night, cold morning air filling the living room and kitchen. goose bumps rise along his arms, and kyuhyun's bare feet don't make noise against the floor when he walks.
"do you know? lucifer's downfall wasn't his greed. the reason why the light-bearer is forever stuck in the dark is because, is because, he loved the humans too much," heechul says to him. "angels loving humans, doesn't it just spell disaster?")
"do you want to see something? do you want to know a secret of mine?" heechul asks with rubies in his eyes, hard as his heart, and tugs on kyuhyun's hand. they half run, half walk, up stairwells cast in midnight shades and don't once look back. heechul laughs, full of air, for no reason at all and kyuhyun laughs because heechul's promises of life aren't broken, because insanity is contagious.
the door of the rooftop swings open easily, the fresh air cold against their skin and clothes. heechul looks back at kyuhyun, stopping and the entrance and grinning, before walking further into the wide, clear space, hand warm around kyuhyun's fingers.
most of the lights in their neighborhood are off with curtains pulled shut, but blocks away, the highway's streetlights trail a path into forever. someone a couple apartments down plays the piano with the window unclosed while another has the national soccer match on. heechul leans over the edge and drops smiles to the wind.
kyuhyun comes to stand next to him, like those days when they would eat out on heechul's balcony. the view is better though, like the top of the world wouldn't be too much of a feat. he sticks his hand over the side and tries to catch heechul's laughter amongst the wind, smiling at the way it feels on his fingertips - like sticking your head in the freezer on a hot summer afternoon.
the black t-shirt heechul was wearing is thrown on the floor of the rooftop, without a care. faint moonlight plays over the pale skin of heechul's chest, silks of porcelain with shadows that hint at curves. heechul's smile in the dark catches light too; a smooth tilt of lips and a flash of teeth.
"what are you doing?" kyuhyun says with a monotone voice, even though he's stealing stares at heechul. heechul laughs like fire, eyes catching maroon red again, and kyuhyun feels himself drowning.
"just watch, just watch," the other replies, while climbing onto the ledge that spans the perimeter of the rooftop. kyuhyun almost starts yelling and screaming because what kind of crazy idiot-- but heechul shakes his head with a grin on his face. "just watch, watch carefully, kyu."
and he jumps.
he falls with his hair brushing the tips of his shoulders and eyes opened wide. his wings appear just like the way he would sometimes imagine in his head, perfect twin mirrors of each other as they caught air. when he lands back on the roof, his wings disappear into misted cold air with a sigh of regret and kyuhyun doesn't say a thing at all.
(later that night, early that morning, kyuhyun laughs, with his hands nimbly braiding random locks of heechul's hair, and heechul only raises an eyebrow. "i always knew you were too strange to be a human," is the first thing that kyuhyun says. heechul ignores him and fights down the smile; trades it in for a pout.
"i think you mean, 'too beautiful to be human,'" and doesn't once stop to consider the consequences).
kim heechul, you have broken the agreement that the Knowing have set for you one hundred, forty three years ago. you must know the result of your actions on the land of the ground dwellers. you were Fallen and yet you still found how to use your wings, so stupid of an act.
not only that, you let one of the humans discover of your Being. it seems that your outlandish behavior does not change depending on your location, and that is why the Knowing have given you three choices.
like it has been proclaimed, kim heechul, you shall be banished from the holy lands. where you go after that is not of our concern so pick as you will. you may remain a Fallen with wings boundless in Hell, or choose to restart the human cycle and hope to become a Being in your next life.
if not one of those two, you may also choose to return to Earth, given that you lose all attributes as a Being. with that, our meeting is adjourned; you have until Harp's Hour to make your decision.
(after Harp's Hour and his fall, heechul lays still on the balcony of his brick apartment, flat on his back. he doesn't sleep, eyes wide open, and stares at the sky. kyuhyun finds him like that in the morning.
"where have you been the past two days?"
"kyuhyun, clever and charming kyuhyun with the voice of an angel. i can't fly anymore." heechul grins at the cloudless morning and imagines meteor showers prettier than northern lights. "angels Falling for humans, isn't it ridiculous? humans loving humans, will we be okay?"
kyuhyun blinks, doesn't say a thing. heechul turns his head away from the sky and looks at him, and all kyuhyun does is close the balcony door with bare feet turning cold against the cement ground of heechul's favorite hideout. he glimpses the billboard sign from the corner of his eyes - second chances that are an arm's length away - and kisses heechul, sudden and perfect, and alive).
heechul has enough money to last a couple lifetimes, but he applies for a job at the bakery next to the school kyuhyun has classes at anyways. he gets free cupcakes and cakes the days he works, and heechul always drops them off at the orphanage a couple blocks away during his break time.
kyuhyun asks him one time, "why don't you just give them to me? you know i love cheesecake," with his cheek pressed against the window of the bus on their way home.
"there are better ways to get fat, kyu," heechuls tsks at him, eyes bright. the old lady that sits in front of them turns around and smiles at them with the lenses of her glasses slightly fogged around the corners, and says,
"what good kids you two are." heechul laughs, short and abrupt, and kyuhyun hits him lightly with his shoulder before shaking the lady's hand.
(they slow down time like that, on the bus and every other chance they get because heechul can see himself aging. he imagines becoming like the old lady, wrinkles around the corners of his eyes and everywhere else, soft hands littered with lines and creases that tell of stories in every slight indent.
kyuhyun just chases the thoughts away with smiles and dancing eyes and hand squeezes every time heechul gets that look on his face. "you'll get used to it; aging," kyuhyun says against the skin of heechul's neck and whispers songs into his ear).
radio alarms and three years, and heechul doesn't get used to aging. he doesn't ever once stop missing the way it feels to fly, soar, nor does he stop imagining what it would be like to fall. heechul is as careless and reckless as ever, and the fact that he's not immortal anymore doesn't change a thing.
kyuhyun becomes his guardian angel, pulling him back down to earth and keeping him grounded. he can't stop heechul from walking in the middle of the street like he owns the world, those rainy weekends when the world is asleep, but kyuhyun knows when to break out the scary movies they have stored in the cabinet by the sink, those days when heechul tips chairs over and scatters photographs.
heechul doesn't get used to being human, but he does get used to seeing kyuhyun's face every morning, an angel that fell for a human that ended in the most perfect disaster (of storybook lies and second chances that are only an arm's length away).