slow burn; kyuhyun/donghae.
SLOW BURN
he's not really sure how it happens. one minute he's trading cards with his bunk mate of the week at the orphanage and the next, by some idiotic play of luck, kyuhyun is adopted into the circus at the ripe age of twelve.
the first summer on the road, he is just the new boy that is in charge of drinks and telling kids that no, you can not, in fact, feed cotton candy to the elephant before the show starts. or ever, really.
the caravan that he travels with consists of three clowns, a sword swallower, a knife thrower, a con man that plays pirate, a magician, an elf, a gypsie fortune teller, twins that do tightrope, a fire breather, a mime that'll sell you every story he has just for a listening ear, and youngwoon.
summers pass and they become his family.
it's a strange life and each winter, there are members who leave the circus in trade for something ...less unique. kyuhyun watches them go with a sigh when jungsoo cries into his slice of fruity farewell cake. it is youngwoon's job to find new recruits, to shake hands and receive promises to stay in touch.
kyuhyun learns a lot of things as seasons pass, through nights spent talking and laughing too loud around bonfires, around tables, while in between cities. he practices tricks he can't imagine using outside of a circus and everyone has learned to laugh at his sarcastic remarks.
he has long stopped imagining not being woken up by youngwoon's and jungsoo's light banter about breakfast every morning, over breakfast, has stopped wondering how it'd be if he didn't have to share a room with a mime that puts up invisible walls everywhere, how quiet it would be if the twins weren't a thin wall away.
kyuhyun has long stopped imagining what it would have been like, if he had been adopted into a normal home, simply, because he can't.
it is the seventh summer since some idiotic play of luck put him in the circus when kyuhyun meets donghae.
kyuhyun knows how to light a candle without fire, knows how to stick a blade down his throat, knows how to get out of an invisible box, but he really does not know what to do when a boy in mismatched shoes and suspenders taps him on the shoulder and says, do you remember me because i remember you.
donghae is dude, the guy that you sat next to in third grade, remember? before kyuhyun moved away and was part of that car crash, before kyuhyun stopped going to public school and was instead surrounded by worn desks and teachers who looked at the class pityingly.
donghae is older than him, but he is also shorter than him, and he smiles like every moment is beautiful, smiles like something beautiful.
now, donghae is laughing at something kyuhyun doesn't remember saying, laughing at how strange it is to see each other like this and how he was even able to recognize kyuhyun at all because you were so much chubbier as a kid and the fact that they're both part of the circus ridiculously and kyuhyun feels a spark in his chest.
after the well planned out routines are done and the show's over for the day, kyuhyun slips into jeans and the first t-shirt he gets his hands on. donghae manages a face painting booth and today, he has whiskers.
they talk and laugh and joke behind yellow and blue striped tents. it's a little awkward at first but donghae clings, clings his hand so tightly around kyuhyun's wrist as they race circles past families, and makes him forget he was ever a part of anything else.
when kyuhyun keeps his footsteps quiet and breath slow, when he sneaks in some time after all the lights have been dimmed and popcorn bags have been abandoned, jungsoo is sitting at the tiny kitchen counter with another piece of farewell cake.
you missed the parting celebration for jongwoon, jungsoo says and kyuhyun remembers the singer turned lion tamer that only came last spring. there are bits of confetti still in jungsoo's hair, party hats on the ground and empty disposable cameras piled by some torn wrapping paper.
kyuhyun opens his mouth to say something, about how the cake is different this time and how it'll be okay because jongwoon has ryeowook with him and how youngwoon probably has a headache right now and how sorry, how stupidly completely unbelievably sorry, he is, but jungsoo looks up at him and steals all his words.
go to sleep soon, is all jungsoo leaves him with as he puts his untouched plate in the sink and disappears into his shared room.
it's the first time in years when kyuhyun gets that sick crawling feeling of being completely alone.