february 4th. - first and last; kiry
He tiredly opened the door to the Super Junior home and tried to make as little noise as possible. Ever since moving into one big house with all the members, there was rarely a time when everything was quiet. Right now though, was one of those times, Kibum thought. There were light snores wafting out from rooms but otherwise, there was not a sound to be heard.
Kibum suspected that everyone was fast asleep by now. The clock just by the doorway told him that it was already three minutes past four in the morning. Sighing to himself, he pulled off his shoes and started walking to his bedroom. It was times like these, when he came home to a silent house with no one to greet him that made him want an average-ly busy schedule like the others. Acting and dramas were relentless though and had him on a no-nonsense timetable.
He wanted to take a shower but he knew better after Leeteuk practically gave a whole speech on how noisy it was and that his babies needed all the rest they could get. Counting the doors that he passed, as he always did, he tried to keep his footfalls as light as possible. He could hear his soft footsteps, reminding him of a ‘pitter-pat’ sound, and then he heard something entirely different.
Fifth door down, on the left side, right next to Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun’s room, across from Donghae and Eunhyuk’s room, was Henry’s room. The youngest shared a room with Kim Heechul, the master pranker himself. Lately though, Cinderella’s been spending time with his prince, leaving the room all for Henry. Kibum stopped outside said door as he listened for the strings of melodies he had heard just seconds earlier.
Thinking that he imagined the sweet sound and that there would be no way that Henry was up at this time, he turned away - only to hear Henry playing his violin again. He smiled and all thoughts of collapsing onto his soft bed escaped his mind. He sat down across from the door, leaning against the door of Eunhae’s room and closed his eyes.
The music enveloped him, twisting, turning, soothing, and forgiving. Kibum eventually fell into an undisturbed sleep, uncaring about his location or when he had to get up for the first time that year.
Only thirteen.
The fans were screaming only 13 again, again, and all Kibum wanted to do was stop dancing, singing, everything and just tell them to stop. Super Junior’s ever so loyal fans but all he wanted to do was yell at them to just fucking stop already.
But didn’t, because they were all onstage, together, all together for the first time in months. He didn’t want to ruin it and he knew, knew that Kim Kibum with the charming smile would never do something like that.
So he ignored the fact that Henry was biting the inside of his cheek to keep his tears on hold. He ignored the fact that Zhou Mi’s dance steps were faltering, just a little bit; not noticeable by anyone offstage.
He ignored the fact that he was clenching his hands into fists so hard, the half moons on his palms were bruising blue.
That night, when he returned home, he sat outside the fifth door on the left side and waited. Not long after, the sounds drifted out to him, more frantic than the first night he listened in. If only the fans knew about how hard the younger boy was trying, trying so hard with only disapproval to reward him for all the effort.
He closed his eyes as the music washed everything away, all the anger, need, want, hopelessness, until all he was left with was the raw emotion the sounds created and what the musician behind the entire thing was feeling.
Kibum drifted into a dream full of wants, lured there by a song of the wistful.
Kibum’s daily routine always ended in a symphony of sound.
To the main actor of Super Junior, floating to sleep outside that one door, the door keeping him safe from falling completely, was more than just a habit now. Weeks went by and it was clear, listening to Henry play the violin every night was more than just a habit.
He had a need for it, not being able to fall asleep until hours later if he forced himself away from the bedroom door that was just a couple steps away from his own. After a while, he stopped trying to avoid it completely. It was stupid to even think that he could escape such a sweet addiction.
The only person that knew about it was Donghae, who had found him leaning against the violinist’s doorframe one morning. Donghae was simply lucky to catch Kibum and now he was simply unlucky because Kibum had blackmailed him into not telling a soul. Eunhyuk couldn’t know, not Leeteuk, Kangin, Shindong, Kyuhyun, Sungmin, Ryeowook, Yesung, Zhou Mi, Hankyung, Siwon, not anyone, and most certainly not Heechul-sshi.
Not only that, he managed to get Donghae to wake him up every morning before anyone else wakes up. Kibum almost, almost, felt bad for his hyung because he knew if it was anyone else, they would never be dense enough to believe that he had pictures of them talking to aliens and the reason why they couldn't remember it happening was because the aliens erased their memories.
Sure, there were other ways to trick the members but Donghae was the easiest. Had it been snarky Kyuhyun or flamboyant Heechul, he knew he would be in over his head by now with demands.
Kibum smiled to himself at the thought, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, he felt as though there could be nothing more perfect than what he had now. The schedule was busy and consuming, the days filled with headaches and scenes, but the nights made him forget it all.
He always acted the same, and it was easy to mask his feelings.
That’s why he was as surprised as everyone else when he found himself pushing his chair back and standing up. The chair fell noisily to the ground and he looked around the spacious room, a spark of anger in his eyes, before stalking out the room after the member that had just fled moments before.
People were stunned for a minute, two, before there was loud chatter and astonished whisperings in the room. He heard the leader, his leader, start doing damage control before he exited the room completely and knew that things would be okay. And even if they weren’t, he knew that the members would understand.
After all, it was the first time Kim Kibum had ever done such a thing so there must be a good reason.
He found Henry in one of the dressing rooms, sniffling as silently as a person can while crying uncontrollably. In other words, Kibum heard then knew what room the violinist was in right away.
He knocked before opening the door, not thinking to wait for a reply.
“Kibum?” Henry asked as he saw who entered. Surprised, he started hurriedly wiping the tears away from his cheeks before stopped by the older male. Kibum just hugged the boy and after a minute, he felt arms wrap around his waist and tears start to soak up his shirt. He didn’t mind though, far from it.
“You know, I’m glad you’re here, Henry.”
That night, Kibum sat and waited. And waited some more. The chords he ached to hear though didn’t come and he was getting worried.
After an hour and just moments before he was going to give up though, the fifth door on the left, the door he had grown so accustomed to over the last couple of weeks, opened.
The only thing that was keeping him from falling, falling for the younger male, was no longer there. And for the first time, Kibum found himself not minding.
“Hyung, do you want to come in?”
Kibum smiled, his sweetest smile, and realized that he’s been having a lot of firsts lately. But then his thoughts were lost when Henry smiled back at him.
It was the first time Kim Kibum had found another male so devastatingly beautiful.
Thinking back to it now, he should’ve realized that that was when everything started.