can you promise not to leave?
can you promise not to leave?
faded_citylites. 2,313w. dark angst.
kikwang-centric, slight!one-sided kiseung.
note: thanks to lazychaoz for beta-ing my fail.♥ (:
"hyunseung!" kikwang shouts with glee. "look what i got!" he quickly waves the paper in front of the other's face. "look, look, look! i got an A+! aren't you proud of me?"
hyunseung doesn't reply. he sits in a chair at kikwang's desk, blank expression on his face. kikwang pouts. "yah, are you still mad about last time?" he inquires, poking his finger into hyunseung's arm repeatedly. hyunseung ignores him. with a sigh, kikwang stands up and sighs in defeat. "fine then, don't talk to me. i'm going to get some food. i'll get you some." without another glance back, kikwang exits his room and heads downstairs into the kitchen to prepare dinner for himself, and for the boy in his room.
at school, kikwang is alone. hyunseung doesn't attend the school that kikwang does, so they only hang out after school. during lunch, kikwang grabs a tray of unidentifiable, brown substance and sits down at an empty table. he leans down and takes a curious sniff of the so-called "food" that the school serves, before crinkling his nose in disgust and pushing the tray away. well, i always have the leftovers when i get home. preferring to fulfill his hunger later, rather than risk food poisoning, kikwang pulls out a book and begins to read. he doesn't get far before he starts to hear hushed whispers around him. he doesn't like what they're saying. the words and sentences become garbled up and form ugly, distorted noises. "did you hear? that boy. he's a freak." "yeah, my mom says his family has issues. all of them. they're all freaks."
kikwang stops reading. he tucks his book back into his backpack, gets his stuff and leaves.
"hyunseung-ah. they made fun of me again today," kikwang says to his friend when he gets home - head in hyunseung's lap, tears running down his face. "why can't they just leave me alone?" he mutters, face buried further into hyunseung. his tears are seeping into the other boy's jeans, but he knows hyunseung doesn't mind. he never minds. that's why kikwang likes hyunseung. hyunseung always listens to kikwang when he has problems at school, and he doesn't judge him. kikwang doesn't know what he'd do without hyunseung. he spends the rest of the night crying into hyunseung's lap until he finally falls asleep. in the morning, he finds himself in the same position as the night before.
"kikwang," ms. jung calls out at the end of class, as her students begin to file out.
"yes, ms. jung?" kikwang replies, as he walks to the front of the class where the teacher's desk is. he's exhausted from crying the previous night, and he has neck pains from sleeping in the uncomfortable position that he was in. he doesn't blame hyunseung though, since he knows it was only because the other boy didn't want to wake him from his peaceful sleep. he does, however, make a note to himself that the next time he decides to sob his heart out to hyunseung, he should make sure that the two of them are in bed. wearily, he waits for his teacher to finish packing away her teaching materials and notices when she fishes out a blank, yellow form.
"kikwang, i've tried to get ahold of your parents but i've just had no luck," ms. jung explains as she straightens up and walks around her desk to stand before him. "i called the office to get their numbers, but the office said they had no records. it's strange, because i was hoping i'd be able to talk to them about setting up an appointment for the parent-teacher conference soon."
kikwang pales. "ah. i'm sorry that you had to go through all this trouble ma'am. but my parents don't own cellphones and they're currently away on a business trip," he bows, keeping his gaze on the floor. his teacher looks surprised, eyebrows disappearing into her bangs, before quickly nodding in understanding.
"ah, well that's fine, kikwang," ms. jung smiles at him, "just take this form and make sure they look over it and fill it out when they get back. my contact number's on the back, so just tell them to give me a call so we can set up a date." kikwang reaches out for the form and takes it in between his fingers. he stares down at it. "parent-teacher meeting" is bolded and printed neatly across the top. his lips set into a grim line. turning his attention back to his teacher, he assures her that he'll do so, and asks that he may leave if she's done. when she consents, he bows once more before exiting.
kikwang comes home to silence that he hasn't really noticed before but is deafening at the moment. looking at the form in his hands again, he swallows hard. "hyunseung? i'm home."
that night, kikwang and hyunseung lie in bed, neither of them saying a word. kikwang's okay with it though, because all he really wants to do is just lie there with hyunseung by his side. this continues on for a good twenty minutes before kikwang finally speaks up.
"ms. jung asked about my parents today." a pause. "i told her they were on a business trip. i didn't mean to lie. i know you hate liars. but i didn't know what to say. if i told them the truth, they'd take me away from you." kikwang furrows his brows. he knows hyunseung won't hold it against him, but he's still worried.
looking up into hyunseung's usual blank face, he asks with a small tremble in a voice, "you won't leave me, right?" he buries his head in hyunseung's shoulder. "please say you won't. you can't be like them. you can't!" kikwang finds himself gripping tightly onto hyunseung's loose sweater. he doesn't wait for reassurance, but instead, hugs hyunseung tightly, refusing to let go. he finally looks up again after some time and several whispers of soft-spoken promises. he swears he sees this warmth in the other boy's eyes and that's enough to keep him calm for the rest of the night.
it's two weeks later that ms. jung asks to speak to kikwang again.
"kikwang, i still haven't received a call from your parents," ms. jung starts, a small frown on her face, "have they filled out that form yet? i don't want to rush you, but i really need to get that appointment set up." kikwang opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. he starts to fiddle with the hem of his shirt - an action that doesn't go unnoticed by his teacher.
"kikwang- is there something wrong?" she asks, worry etched into her features. kikwang freezes a little, before painting a smile across his face and shaking his head.
"nothing's wrong, ms. jung. really." he smiles extra hard, hoping she won't notice the slight hitch in his voice. "they just haven't gotten around to it yet. they've just come back and they're really tired, so i didn't want to bother them."
ms. jung isn't entirely reassured by his words, but gives in nevertheless. "alright then, just make sure you get it back to me by tomorrow." kikwang wordlessly nods and bows, before sprinting home.
"i don't know what to do," kikwang confesses to hyunseung. his voice is rough and he's tired. "she wants it by tomorrow. what do i do? what do i do?" he starts to panic but stops himself. his father never did like it when he panicked. though, his parents have been gone for so long now.
"have you seen how the boy's been acting lately?" a furious whisper escapes the kitchen. kikwang can tell by the tone that his father's angry.
"i know, honey; he's been so strange ever since he and hyunseung had that fight." a softer and gentler voice floats from the room. kikwang always did love his mother. she was so kind and caring. he wonders if she'd understand.
his father makes a frustrated sound before speaking. "i don't know what to do." kikwang's worried by the desperation in his father's voice and wishes he could make things better.
his mother's concerned voice starts again. "don't worry, alright? i'll talk to him when he gets home from school tomorrow. just go to sleep. you have work tomorrow." the lights in the kitchen flash off and kikwang hurries away from his door and into bed. he doesn't sleep that night.
when kikwang returns from school the next day, he is already anticipating the talk with his mother. he doesn't, however, expect her to be in his room, looking into his closet.
"mom. what are you doing?" kikwang asks, his tone dangerous. his mother lets out a frightened shriek at the sound of his voice. when she turns to face him, he can see the fear in her eyes.
"k-kikwang. why was hyunseung in your closet?" kikwang shifts his focus to the lifeless body now sprawled out on his floor. he frowns. he didn't mean to keep him there. he just needed some time to prepare an explanation to his parents. and he thought his mom would understand, not like those jerks at school who tease him all the time.
"we got into a fight. he tried to leave me, mom." kikwang answers with desperation. "so i did the only i could to make sure he wouldn't leave me for that asshole, junhyung."
his mother's crying now. he doesn't understand why she would cry. he was only making sure hyunseung stayed with him. his mother had always mentioned how she wanted kikwang to have friends and a good school life. kikwang just wanted to make his mom happy and not lose his best friend. hyunseung was better off with him anyways.
"k-kikwang." his mother's voice breaks him out of his thoughts. "you- you need to see a doctor," she whispers, still softly sobbing. she starts to move towards him. "we're gonna go see a doctor, okay? and- and we'll need to let hyunseung's mother know about this. god, i don't know how we'll ever be able to face his family."
kikwang snaps when she mentions hyunseung. "no," he says in a quiet voice.
"w-what?" his mother has a look of confusion on her face. "what do you mean 'no'?"
"you can't take him," he replies, eyes on the ground. "you can't take him away from me," he repeats in a louder voice. his mother's hysterical at this point.
"you can't keep him, kikwang! he's dead! please, just stop!" she cries. tears are rolling down her face. "please, just stop."
kikwang shakes his head. "i thought you'd understand. but you're just like them. it doesn't matter though. i won't let you take him away from me." he walks over to the drawer beside his bed and pulls out a knife.
"kikwang- what are you doing?" his mother's words come out in a whisper. he ignores her and stares at the knife, lightly dragging his finger down the sharp edge. kikwang thinks of how beautiful hyunseung was when he killed him. he struggled a lot, but then he just fell silent when the knife plunged into his body.
"kikwang, please. put down the knife," she begs. he acts as if he hears nothing and takes slow, steady steps towards her, pushing her farther and farther back until there's no where left to go. it doesn't take more than two stabs to silence her.
he frowns. he also remembers stabbing his father when he came home to the stench of death. kikwang didn't think it would be fair to make his father live without his mother. he knows that his father wouldn't have wanted it that way either.
he looks at the body in his arms. hyunseung never smiles anymore, and he doesn't ask weird questions that make kikwang laugh and brighten his day either. he wishes things would go back to the way they were before junhyung came into their lives. but at least now, hyunseung can- will never leave him. "you'll stay with me forever, right?" kikwang stares at hyunseung. he knows it's a 'yes'. hyunseung's eyes seem to silently assure him. kikwang smiles, because that's all that matters to him.
"yah. did you guys hear about what happened?" yoseob exclaims, as he hurriedly climbs into his seat at the lunch table. doojoon and dongwoon both stare at him curiously. doojoon nods and gestures for Yoseob to continue. "well you'll never believe this- a teacher was murdered!" yoseob announces with wide eyes. at his comment, doojoon chokes on his food and quickly spits it out.
"what?!" doojoon yells, loud enough for half of the lunch area to hear him. "when did this happen?"
"yesterday," yoseob informs. "apparently some teacher - ms. jung, i think - needed to talk to this kid's parents. so she decided to visit the kid since she didn't get a reply for weeks and the kid was supposedly acting really weird. the night she went over to check up on him, kid went psycho and stabbed her. guess he was hiding some secret."
"what was his name?" dongwoon asks, leaning forward with interest.
"lee- lee kikwang or something," yoseob replies, scratching his head.
dongwoon gapes at the information. "wait, lee kikwang? like the one that junhyung-hyung was complaining about?" yoseob contemplates an answer, before nodding. "wow," dongwoon continues, "i've heard rumors about this guy. heard he killed his parents, along with his best friend, hyunseung. wonder what made him go crazy."
doojoon sighs. "who knows. probably just another messed up kid with nothing better to do with his life." doojoon checks his watch, and turns back to his friends. "hey, come on, it's time to go to fifth period. just forget about this kikwang crap. it'll blow over soon."
kikwang looks up from the table behind. he doesn't think so.
faded_citylites. 2,313w. dark angst.
kikwang-centric, slight!one-sided kiseung.
note: thanks to lazychaoz for beta-ing my fail.♥ (:
"hyunseung!" kikwang shouts with glee. "look what i got!" he quickly waves the paper in front of the other's face. "look, look, look! i got an A+! aren't you proud of me?"
hyunseung doesn't reply. he sits in a chair at kikwang's desk, blank expression on his face. kikwang pouts. "yah, are you still mad about last time?" he inquires, poking his finger into hyunseung's arm repeatedly. hyunseung ignores him. with a sigh, kikwang stands up and sighs in defeat. "fine then, don't talk to me. i'm going to get some food. i'll get you some." without another glance back, kikwang exits his room and heads downstairs into the kitchen to prepare dinner for himself, and for the boy in his room.
at school, kikwang is alone. hyunseung doesn't attend the school that kikwang does, so they only hang out after school. during lunch, kikwang grabs a tray of unidentifiable, brown substance and sits down at an empty table. he leans down and takes a curious sniff of the so-called "food" that the school serves, before crinkling his nose in disgust and pushing the tray away. well, i always have the leftovers when i get home. preferring to fulfill his hunger later, rather than risk food poisoning, kikwang pulls out a book and begins to read. he doesn't get far before he starts to hear hushed whispers around him. he doesn't like what they're saying. the words and sentences become garbled up and form ugly, distorted noises. "did you hear? that boy. he's a freak." "yeah, my mom says his family has issues. all of them. they're all freaks."
kikwang stops reading. he tucks his book back into his backpack, gets his stuff and leaves.
"hyunseung-ah. they made fun of me again today," kikwang says to his friend when he gets home - head in hyunseung's lap, tears running down his face. "why can't they just leave me alone?" he mutters, face buried further into hyunseung. his tears are seeping into the other boy's jeans, but he knows hyunseung doesn't mind. he never minds. that's why kikwang likes hyunseung. hyunseung always listens to kikwang when he has problems at school, and he doesn't judge him. kikwang doesn't know what he'd do without hyunseung. he spends the rest of the night crying into hyunseung's lap until he finally falls asleep. in the morning, he finds himself in the same position as the night before.
"kikwang," ms. jung calls out at the end of class, as her students begin to file out.
"yes, ms. jung?" kikwang replies, as he walks to the front of the class where the teacher's desk is. he's exhausted from crying the previous night, and he has neck pains from sleeping in the uncomfortable position that he was in. he doesn't blame hyunseung though, since he knows it was only because the other boy didn't want to wake him from his peaceful sleep. he does, however, make a note to himself that the next time he decides to sob his heart out to hyunseung, he should make sure that the two of them are in bed. wearily, he waits for his teacher to finish packing away her teaching materials and notices when she fishes out a blank, yellow form.
"kikwang, i've tried to get ahold of your parents but i've just had no luck," ms. jung explains as she straightens up and walks around her desk to stand before him. "i called the office to get their numbers, but the office said they had no records. it's strange, because i was hoping i'd be able to talk to them about setting up an appointment for the parent-teacher conference soon."
kikwang pales. "ah. i'm sorry that you had to go through all this trouble ma'am. but my parents don't own cellphones and they're currently away on a business trip," he bows, keeping his gaze on the floor. his teacher looks surprised, eyebrows disappearing into her bangs, before quickly nodding in understanding.
"ah, well that's fine, kikwang," ms. jung smiles at him, "just take this form and make sure they look over it and fill it out when they get back. my contact number's on the back, so just tell them to give me a call so we can set up a date." kikwang reaches out for the form and takes it in between his fingers. he stares down at it. "parent-teacher meeting" is bolded and printed neatly across the top. his lips set into a grim line. turning his attention back to his teacher, he assures her that he'll do so, and asks that he may leave if she's done. when she consents, he bows once more before exiting.
kikwang comes home to silence that he hasn't really noticed before but is deafening at the moment. looking at the form in his hands again, he swallows hard. "hyunseung? i'm home."
that night, kikwang and hyunseung lie in bed, neither of them saying a word. kikwang's okay with it though, because all he really wants to do is just lie there with hyunseung by his side. this continues on for a good twenty minutes before kikwang finally speaks up.
"ms. jung asked about my parents today." a pause. "i told her they were on a business trip. i didn't mean to lie. i know you hate liars. but i didn't know what to say. if i told them the truth, they'd take me away from you." kikwang furrows his brows. he knows hyunseung won't hold it against him, but he's still worried.
looking up into hyunseung's usual blank face, he asks with a small tremble in a voice, "you won't leave me, right?" he buries his head in hyunseung's shoulder. "please say you won't. you can't be like them. you can't!" kikwang finds himself gripping tightly onto hyunseung's loose sweater. he doesn't wait for reassurance, but instead, hugs hyunseung tightly, refusing to let go. he finally looks up again after some time and several whispers of soft-spoken promises. he swears he sees this warmth in the other boy's eyes and that's enough to keep him calm for the rest of the night.
it's two weeks later that ms. jung asks to speak to kikwang again.
"kikwang, i still haven't received a call from your parents," ms. jung starts, a small frown on her face, "have they filled out that form yet? i don't want to rush you, but i really need to get that appointment set up." kikwang opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. he starts to fiddle with the hem of his shirt - an action that doesn't go unnoticed by his teacher.
"kikwang- is there something wrong?" she asks, worry etched into her features. kikwang freezes a little, before painting a smile across his face and shaking his head.
"nothing's wrong, ms. jung. really." he smiles extra hard, hoping she won't notice the slight hitch in his voice. "they just haven't gotten around to it yet. they've just come back and they're really tired, so i didn't want to bother them."
ms. jung isn't entirely reassured by his words, but gives in nevertheless. "alright then, just make sure you get it back to me by tomorrow." kikwang wordlessly nods and bows, before sprinting home.
"i don't know what to do," kikwang confesses to hyunseung. his voice is rough and he's tired. "she wants it by tomorrow. what do i do? what do i do?" he starts to panic but stops himself. his father never did like it when he panicked. though, his parents have been gone for so long now.
"have you seen how the boy's been acting lately?" a furious whisper escapes the kitchen. kikwang can tell by the tone that his father's angry.
"i know, honey; he's been so strange ever since he and hyunseung had that fight." a softer and gentler voice floats from the room. kikwang always did love his mother. she was so kind and caring. he wonders if she'd understand.
his father makes a frustrated sound before speaking. "i don't know what to do." kikwang's worried by the desperation in his father's voice and wishes he could make things better.
his mother's concerned voice starts again. "don't worry, alright? i'll talk to him when he gets home from school tomorrow. just go to sleep. you have work tomorrow." the lights in the kitchen flash off and kikwang hurries away from his door and into bed. he doesn't sleep that night.
when kikwang returns from school the next day, he is already anticipating the talk with his mother. he doesn't, however, expect her to be in his room, looking into his closet.
"mom. what are you doing?" kikwang asks, his tone dangerous. his mother lets out a frightened shriek at the sound of his voice. when she turns to face him, he can see the fear in her eyes.
"k-kikwang. why was hyunseung in your closet?" kikwang shifts his focus to the lifeless body now sprawled out on his floor. he frowns. he didn't mean to keep him there. he just needed some time to prepare an explanation to his parents. and he thought his mom would understand, not like those jerks at school who tease him all the time.
"we got into a fight. he tried to leave me, mom." kikwang answers with desperation. "so i did the only i could to make sure he wouldn't leave me for that asshole, junhyung."
his mother's crying now. he doesn't understand why she would cry. he was only making sure hyunseung stayed with him. his mother had always mentioned how she wanted kikwang to have friends and a good school life. kikwang just wanted to make his mom happy and not lose his best friend. hyunseung was better off with him anyways.
"k-kikwang." his mother's voice breaks him out of his thoughts. "you- you need to see a doctor," she whispers, still softly sobbing. she starts to move towards him. "we're gonna go see a doctor, okay? and- and we'll need to let hyunseung's mother know about this. god, i don't know how we'll ever be able to face his family."
kikwang snaps when she mentions hyunseung. "no," he says in a quiet voice.
"w-what?" his mother has a look of confusion on her face. "what do you mean 'no'?"
"you can't take him," he replies, eyes on the ground. "you can't take him away from me," he repeats in a louder voice. his mother's hysterical at this point.
"you can't keep him, kikwang! he's dead! please, just stop!" she cries. tears are rolling down her face. "please, just stop."
kikwang shakes his head. "i thought you'd understand. but you're just like them. it doesn't matter though. i won't let you take him away from me." he walks over to the drawer beside his bed and pulls out a knife.
"kikwang- what are you doing?" his mother's words come out in a whisper. he ignores her and stares at the knife, lightly dragging his finger down the sharp edge. kikwang thinks of how beautiful hyunseung was when he killed him. he struggled a lot, but then he just fell silent when the knife plunged into his body.
"kikwang, please. put down the knife," she begs. he acts as if he hears nothing and takes slow, steady steps towards her, pushing her farther and farther back until there's no where left to go. it doesn't take more than two stabs to silence her.
he frowns. he also remembers stabbing his father when he came home to the stench of death. kikwang didn't think it would be fair to make his father live without his mother. he knows that his father wouldn't have wanted it that way either.
he looks at the body in his arms. hyunseung never smiles anymore, and he doesn't ask weird questions that make kikwang laugh and brighten his day either. he wishes things would go back to the way they were before junhyung came into their lives. but at least now, hyunseung can- will never leave him. "you'll stay with me forever, right?" kikwang stares at hyunseung. he knows it's a 'yes'. hyunseung's eyes seem to silently assure him. kikwang smiles, because that's all that matters to him.
"yah. did you guys hear about what happened?" yoseob exclaims, as he hurriedly climbs into his seat at the lunch table. doojoon and dongwoon both stare at him curiously. doojoon nods and gestures for Yoseob to continue. "well you'll never believe this- a teacher was murdered!" yoseob announces with wide eyes. at his comment, doojoon chokes on his food and quickly spits it out.
"what?!" doojoon yells, loud enough for half of the lunch area to hear him. "when did this happen?"
"yesterday," yoseob informs. "apparently some teacher - ms. jung, i think - needed to talk to this kid's parents. so she decided to visit the kid since she didn't get a reply for weeks and the kid was supposedly acting really weird. the night she went over to check up on him, kid went psycho and stabbed her. guess he was hiding some secret."
"what was his name?" dongwoon asks, leaning forward with interest.
"lee- lee kikwang or something," yoseob replies, scratching his head.
dongwoon gapes at the information. "wait, lee kikwang? like the one that junhyung-hyung was complaining about?" yoseob contemplates an answer, before nodding. "wow," dongwoon continues, "i've heard rumors about this guy. heard he killed his parents, along with his best friend, hyunseung. wonder what made him go crazy."
doojoon sighs. "who knows. probably just another messed up kid with nothing better to do with his life." doojoon checks his watch, and turns back to his friends. "hey, come on, it's time to go to fifth period. just forget about this kikwang crap. it'll blow over soon."
kikwang looks up from the table behind. he doesn't think so.