The first step to making a change is desire and will power. You're a beautiful and talented girl you'll find your calling and lead a wonderful life. I'm sorry you're depressed and full of self loathing, it's pains me to here such troubles. I wish I could help in someway. But all I can say is good luck on the rhode to success.
I really hope you realize how strong and amazing you are. It sucks that there seems to be so much bad stuff (aka: drama) happening around you and I hope that changes SOON. Hope you cheer up. Oh, and alcohol never really solves depression or feeling bad... it just makes more problems to deal with. You don't need that. I've been kind of battling some depression on and off for a while now, so I can relate to you on that... Seems like nothing goes right sometimes, but it'll get better.
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