[btvs] selfish 1/1
Title: Selfish
Author: aaronlisa
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Characters/Pairings: Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers
Rating: FR13 (one swear word)
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon and company.
Prompts: Written for femslash50 for prompt #36 (caught)
Notes: Set post-Chosen, non-Season Eight complaint.
Summary: And she feels incredibly old and jaded even though she’s only twenty-three.
Word Count: 1452
The nightclub could be anywhere in the world from her experience, there’s some universal about the way in which it’s dimly lit with bursts of colourful neon along the back walls advertising a multitude of brand name beers and alcohols. The bass is loud and throbbing to the point where most of the songs that the DJ plays are either almost unrecognizable or interchangeable with one another. At the bar there is a stink of old and stale alcohol in the air with a hint of desperation as people try to pair up with one another. The bodies on the dance floor move sinuously against one another in time to the heavy primal beat.
And she feels incredibly old and jaded even though she’s only twenty-three. She watches the couples move on the dance floor from where she’s leaning against one of the bars with a drink in her hand, a prop so that she can blend in while she searches out her prey. As she takes a sip from the martini glass and the gin and vodka burns as it goes down her throat, she briefly wonders why she had decided that she had to be the one who came. She sighs as she sets the half-full glass on the bar and she knows why she came and why she didn’t just dump this onto someone else’s shoulders.
Buffy pushes away from the bar and she starts to move towards the center of the dance floor where Faith is currently dancing with reckless abandonment with some guy who’s entranced with his partner. The blonde Slayer keeps the brunette in her line of sight as she moves against the crowd to the center and she feels a familiar tightening in her loins as she watches Faith dance.
For a moment she’s entranced as she takes in every movement and she can’t help but think that there’s something that is completely sexual about how Faith moves that seems to capture the attention of everyone around her and Buffy wonders if anyone would think less of her if she were to turn around and leave.
Just as she’s made up her mind that she’ll send another Slayer in her place tomorrow morning, one who doesn’t have any personal history with Faith, Faith looks up and smirks at her. Buffy knows that she’s been caught and she refuses to back down even when Faith licks her full red lips and stalks towards her.
Unlike before when Buffy was trying to make her way towards Faith, the crowd seems to part for Faith as Faith moves closer. Buffy’s heart starts to pound in her chest and it seems as if time speeds up and slows down at the same time during the few moments it takes for Faith to reach her side. Faith’s hands icy-cold hands grasp Buffy’s hot cheeks and the brunette Slayer pulls her into an intense kiss that makes Buffy forget where and who she is for a second or two.
When she finally manages to pull away, Faith smirks and licks her lip like a cat once more. Buffy feels the annoyance at Faith’s attitude, as if they could just pick up and resume where they left off, as if nothing was wrong. She turns on her heel and Faith follows her off of the dance floor and out of the club into the back alley.
It’s Faith who breaks the silence, her voice smoky and intoxicating to Buffy just like it always has been.
“What do you want B?”
“What do you think?” Buffy asks as she crosses her arms against her chest, trying to act unaffected.
“A fuck in the back alley?”
“Don’t be crude,” Buffy commands.
Faith’s smirk dissolves and she turns away from Buffy, her spine rigid in her anger.
“I’m not some puppy dog that you can control, B. Tell me what you want and then get the hell out of my city.”
“Your city?” Buffy asks.
“Yeah my city, I take care of the vamp problem here on my own. Without you and your Council.”
The implication that Faith doesn’t need or want Buffy’s help or even the Council’s help is unspoken but it lies heavy in the air between them, an old argument that Buffy doesn’t know how to counter. Faith has never admitted when she’s needed anyone’s help before until it’s too late.
“Fine it’s your city, Faith. That’s not why I am here.”
“So why are you here?” Faith asks as she turns to face Buffy, her arms folded across her chest mimicking the blonde.
“Because I need your help.”
“The great Buffy Summers needs my help?”
“Yes, Faith, I do.”
Faith’s laughter is rich and for some reason it makes Buffy angry. But she holds her tongue, the last thing she needs to do is make Faith angrier than she already is. She tells herself that she needs Faith and she needs her help.
“Let me guess, you have a suicide mission and you don’t want to endanger any of your precious little girls.”
“It wasn’t like that Faith.”
“Really, then what was it like B? You sent me in to deal with a nest that had killed two other teams of vampires on my own.”
“You were supposed to have back up.”
“So you and Giles say. But you know what, back up never showed up until I was almost dead.”
“I am sorry, Faith.”
“What do you think that sorry is going to cut it?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“There’s nothing you can say to fix this mess, B.”
Faith snarls as she rushes towards Buffy, her face twisted with the face of the vampire. Back up had arrived that cold winter night when she was near death, but it had still arrived too late. Buffy still has nightmares of when Xander had brought in Faith’s broken body. Everyone had told her that she had to destroy Faith’s body before she rose but she couldn’t so she had begged Willow to curse Faith with her soul, never thinking of the consequences.
When Faith had awoken, she was starving, in pain and confused. She had almost killed Buffy in her blood lust and then she had suffered remorse afterwards. For months, she had refused to drink until Buffy had finally called in Angel. Angel who had been furious with her decision, something that Buffy still couldn’t understand why. A few days later, Angel and Faith had left, leaving Buffy alone.
“Do you know what it’s like to be like this?” Faith snarls into her ear.
“No.”
“Can you even imagine how it feels?”
“I am sorry, Faith,” Buffy states, feeling the tears pricking her eyes.
“I’ll help you but when it’s all over Buffy, you’re going to fix this once and for all.”
“But I can’t fix anything.”
“Yes you can, you can be a Slayer for once and drive a stake through my heart.”
Buffy can’t stop the tears from falling down her cheeks as she shakes her head in denial. She’d rather have Faith in the world, full of anger and hatred for her than have her dead. Faith wordlessly snarls as she shakes Buffy like a ragdoll. The brick of the wall bite into her skin as Faith slams Buffy up against the wall.
“I can’t kill you, Faith.”
“Then I won’t help you.”
“I need you Faith.”
“I don’t want your need. Your need got me into this mess.”
Faith shakes as she rests her forehead against the curve of Buffy’s shoulder.
“Please, do this for me. This is what you should have done three years ago.”
“I can’t,” Buffy tearfully admits.
“You have to,” Faith tells her, her voice hoarse with unshed tears, “I can’t go on like this. You need to let me go.”
Faith lets go of Buffy and steps back. The look that she gives Buffy is angry and full of loathing. Buffy shakes her head as she continues to silently cry. She can’t let go of Faith, she needs her even like this, full of death and hate.
“Then I won’t help you. Go ask Angel or Spike or anyone of your undead paramours for help and just get the hell out of my city.”
Buffy watches as Faith turns on her heel and walks out of the alleyway and disappears into the night. It seems to Buffy in that moment that the people she loves are always walking away from her no matter how much she loves and needs them. Yet at the same time, she knows that Faith is right. She’s being selfish by not letting Faith go when she is in so much pain and agony.
**END**
Author: aaronlisa
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Characters/Pairings: Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers
Rating: FR13 (one swear word)
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon and company.
Prompts: Written for femslash50 for prompt #36 (caught)
Notes: Set post-Chosen, non-Season Eight complaint.
Summary: And she feels incredibly old and jaded even though she’s only twenty-three.
Word Count: 1452
The nightclub could be anywhere in the world from her experience, there’s some universal about the way in which it’s dimly lit with bursts of colourful neon along the back walls advertising a multitude of brand name beers and alcohols. The bass is loud and throbbing to the point where most of the songs that the DJ plays are either almost unrecognizable or interchangeable with one another. At the bar there is a stink of old and stale alcohol in the air with a hint of desperation as people try to pair up with one another. The bodies on the dance floor move sinuously against one another in time to the heavy primal beat.
And she feels incredibly old and jaded even though she’s only twenty-three. She watches the couples move on the dance floor from where she’s leaning against one of the bars with a drink in her hand, a prop so that she can blend in while she searches out her prey. As she takes a sip from the martini glass and the gin and vodka burns as it goes down her throat, she briefly wonders why she had decided that she had to be the one who came. She sighs as she sets the half-full glass on the bar and she knows why she came and why she didn’t just dump this onto someone else’s shoulders.
Buffy pushes away from the bar and she starts to move towards the center of the dance floor where Faith is currently dancing with reckless abandonment with some guy who’s entranced with his partner. The blonde Slayer keeps the brunette in her line of sight as she moves against the crowd to the center and she feels a familiar tightening in her loins as she watches Faith dance.
For a moment she’s entranced as she takes in every movement and she can’t help but think that there’s something that is completely sexual about how Faith moves that seems to capture the attention of everyone around her and Buffy wonders if anyone would think less of her if she were to turn around and leave.
Just as she’s made up her mind that she’ll send another Slayer in her place tomorrow morning, one who doesn’t have any personal history with Faith, Faith looks up and smirks at her. Buffy knows that she’s been caught and she refuses to back down even when Faith licks her full red lips and stalks towards her.
Unlike before when Buffy was trying to make her way towards Faith, the crowd seems to part for Faith as Faith moves closer. Buffy’s heart starts to pound in her chest and it seems as if time speeds up and slows down at the same time during the few moments it takes for Faith to reach her side. Faith’s hands icy-cold hands grasp Buffy’s hot cheeks and the brunette Slayer pulls her into an intense kiss that makes Buffy forget where and who she is for a second or two.
When she finally manages to pull away, Faith smirks and licks her lip like a cat once more. Buffy feels the annoyance at Faith’s attitude, as if they could just pick up and resume where they left off, as if nothing was wrong. She turns on her heel and Faith follows her off of the dance floor and out of the club into the back alley.
It’s Faith who breaks the silence, her voice smoky and intoxicating to Buffy just like it always has been.
“What do you want B?”
“What do you think?” Buffy asks as she crosses her arms against her chest, trying to act unaffected.
“A fuck in the back alley?”
“Don’t be crude,” Buffy commands.
Faith’s smirk dissolves and she turns away from Buffy, her spine rigid in her anger.
“I’m not some puppy dog that you can control, B. Tell me what you want and then get the hell out of my city.”
“Your city?” Buffy asks.
“Yeah my city, I take care of the vamp problem here on my own. Without you and your Council.”
The implication that Faith doesn’t need or want Buffy’s help or even the Council’s help is unspoken but it lies heavy in the air between them, an old argument that Buffy doesn’t know how to counter. Faith has never admitted when she’s needed anyone’s help before until it’s too late.
“Fine it’s your city, Faith. That’s not why I am here.”
“So why are you here?” Faith asks as she turns to face Buffy, her arms folded across her chest mimicking the blonde.
“Because I need your help.”
“The great Buffy Summers needs my help?”
“Yes, Faith, I do.”
Faith’s laughter is rich and for some reason it makes Buffy angry. But she holds her tongue, the last thing she needs to do is make Faith angrier than she already is. She tells herself that she needs Faith and she needs her help.
“Let me guess, you have a suicide mission and you don’t want to endanger any of your precious little girls.”
“It wasn’t like that Faith.”
“Really, then what was it like B? You sent me in to deal with a nest that had killed two other teams of vampires on my own.”
“You were supposed to have back up.”
“So you and Giles say. But you know what, back up never showed up until I was almost dead.”
“I am sorry, Faith.”
“What do you think that sorry is going to cut it?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“There’s nothing you can say to fix this mess, B.”
Faith snarls as she rushes towards Buffy, her face twisted with the face of the vampire. Back up had arrived that cold winter night when she was near death, but it had still arrived too late. Buffy still has nightmares of when Xander had brought in Faith’s broken body. Everyone had told her that she had to destroy Faith’s body before she rose but she couldn’t so she had begged Willow to curse Faith with her soul, never thinking of the consequences.
When Faith had awoken, she was starving, in pain and confused. She had almost killed Buffy in her blood lust and then she had suffered remorse afterwards. For months, she had refused to drink until Buffy had finally called in Angel. Angel who had been furious with her decision, something that Buffy still couldn’t understand why. A few days later, Angel and Faith had left, leaving Buffy alone.
“Do you know what it’s like to be like this?” Faith snarls into her ear.
“No.”
“Can you even imagine how it feels?”
“I am sorry, Faith,” Buffy states, feeling the tears pricking her eyes.
“I’ll help you but when it’s all over Buffy, you’re going to fix this once and for all.”
“But I can’t fix anything.”
“Yes you can, you can be a Slayer for once and drive a stake through my heart.”
Buffy can’t stop the tears from falling down her cheeks as she shakes her head in denial. She’d rather have Faith in the world, full of anger and hatred for her than have her dead. Faith wordlessly snarls as she shakes Buffy like a ragdoll. The brick of the wall bite into her skin as Faith slams Buffy up against the wall.
“I can’t kill you, Faith.”
“Then I won’t help you.”
“I need you Faith.”
“I don’t want your need. Your need got me into this mess.”
Faith shakes as she rests her forehead against the curve of Buffy’s shoulder.
“Please, do this for me. This is what you should have done three years ago.”
“I can’t,” Buffy tearfully admits.
“You have to,” Faith tells her, her voice hoarse with unshed tears, “I can’t go on like this. You need to let me go.”
Faith lets go of Buffy and steps back. The look that she gives Buffy is angry and full of loathing. Buffy shakes her head as she continues to silently cry. She can’t let go of Faith, she needs her even like this, full of death and hate.
“Then I won’t help you. Go ask Angel or Spike or anyone of your undead paramours for help and just get the hell out of my city.”
Buffy watches as Faith turns on her heel and walks out of the alleyway and disappears into the night. It seems to Buffy in that moment that the people she loves are always walking away from her no matter how much she loves and needs them. Yet at the same time, she knows that Faith is right. She’s being selfish by not letting Faith go when she is in so much pain and agony.
**END**