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Sky's The Limit Tour Final Report!
I was fortunate enough to attend the Sky's The Limit tour final and the After Party last night at Shibuya www and ballo ballo respectively! I finally got to talk to Jon and pass him the gifts I had prepared and also got hugs! So, here's my report on how "it all went down".
Bernie met up with my mom and I that afternoon at the Starbucks where we added the finishing touches to the presents for fade. I had a collage, flags and a ~special~ present for Jon. We also had twenty kit-kat bars (ten different flavours) and we packed four for each member to pass to them later.
The flags.
I had written each members' names on each one because I remembered that Jon said he kept all the flags, and I wanted the other members to have a flag to keep, too!
We took photos outside www, ate at ballo ballo (and joked about what I should say to Jon if I got to talk to him) and then I bought the tour t-shirt and the playbuttons (I thought I had placed my order for them online but apparently I hadn’t…). Then we went to take purikura, and time just zoomed past. Very soon, the doors to www were opened.
Before the live started, I was frantically trying to find a good spot to stand at. First floor, but at the back or second floor at the front? Bernie and I wanted to yell some things together, too, so if we were separated, we had to come up with some sort of signal. Eventually, I decided to stand on the second floor, against the railing. Bernie would raise her hand and then signal “one, two, three”.
Bernie had also gotten us some glow sticks which we could wrap around our wrists and neck. My mom didn’t want the ones Bernie had gotten her so I ended up with eight glow sticks on each arm and two around my neck. Bernie said I really “glowed” in the dark, haha.
First, a video, introducing the goods and some announcements, was played. The international fanclub starting in January 2013 and a fade family trip to Hawaii in April!
Soon, the live started.
Kansei came out first, followed by rui, noriyuki, Godo and, finally, Jon.
Jon actually came out half-prancing, half-walking.
I just stared for a few seconds; I couldn’t believe I was really seeing them again.
The setlist is as follows:
1. Born Ready.
2. Wake Up the World.
3. From the Heart.
4. Better Scarred.
5. From the Inside Out.
6. Under the Sun.
7. It was you
8. Filter.
9. In the end.
10. One Reason.
11. Break Away
12. Ever Free.
13. Reimei.
14. So Far Gone.
15. コズミカリズム.
Encore 1:
1. Close to You
2. Ten
3. Beautiful.
Encore 2:
1. Kings of Dawn.
During the breaks between songs, Bernie and I yelled “rui-sama!” (for her friend, Eneru, who wasn’t able to attend), “hentai eskimo!” (Bernie wanted to) and “Jon is sexy!” (haha, I wanted to).
The performance of “It was you” is really, really special to me. It was the first fade song I truly became obsessed with (the next few included Last Man Standing, Chase for Daylight and others). It was the first time I was hearing it live (and damn the lagging in that ustream with Undergraph when they performed this song acoustic) and it was perfect.
I don’t remember when this happened, but it must have been during the first break between songs. Godo was asked to speak but Jon said he couldn’t speak Japanese and that the belt (I believe it was a belt, not a choker necklace but an actual fucking belt) around his neck prevented him from saying anything. Then Godo mumbled gruffly into the mic to prove it, haha.
After “One Reason” came the chugging! Kansei spilled most of the Jack Daniels all over himself and the floor, leaving a small puddle which Jon almost slipped on afterwards.
“Ever Free” got to me really hard this time especially. I’m going through pretty stressful times regarding my future, education and money and, I don’t know, I feel like this song is really helping me to prioritise things.
It was after this that they announced their major debut with Universal Music.
When they came back for the first encore, they were wearing the fade goods and Jon introduced to us a new good: a “fade brand” watch, which costs about 38, 000 yen. You can start ordering them online!
I want it so bad. I have to start saving up even more funds!
When they came back for the second encore, Jon was like, “Sorry, lied a little just now. That wasn’t the last song. But this is really, really, really the last song for tonight. This is everybody’s last chance to sing. The people in front and the people on the second floor have been participating actively but the people at the back… Come on, this is your last chance!”
During Kings of Dawn, Bernie and I waved our Singapore flags.
After the song had ended, kansei took the flag from Bernie and held it up on stage!
We met up with some others and shuffled to ballo ballo which was about a minute’s walk away from www.
I was getting increasingly nervous because Bernie had assured me that we would get to meet the guys and talk to them and I had no idea what to say or what to do. I just love this amazing band so much and there is a lot I wish I could say but I just freeze at the thought of standing right in front them. I can’t look at them in the face either. When I met Jon, kansei and noriyuki at the TEN tour final in Shinjuku, I couldn’t look at them at all. I just kept bowing my head over and over again.
I didn’t want a repeat of that… I wanted to leave a good impression.
Inside ballo ballo, I got rid of my jacket (which I had put on only to protect me from the cold for the walk from www to ballo ballo) and put on my fade hat and got the Singapore flags ready.
Then fade entered the small, cosy venue and I felt so small again, from just being in the same place as them… I just couldn’t face them. I really couldn’t. I couldn’t even look at Jon for more than five seconds before I looked away, fearful that he might actually look back at me. YES, I KNOW I’M PATHETIC.
Soon, the members started mingling with others and Bernie and I got ready to pass the gifts to them. We went to kansei first and passed him the goodie bag. I think Bernie asked kansei if he remembered her and he said, “yes! Bernie!” and Bernie got so happy! Haha, I would have been too, if I was remembered by one of them!
Next was Godo and Bernie mentioned that she had met him at the Gignam Rock Fest and Godo remembered her too! I passed him the flag and Bernie passed him the goodie bag. In the goodie bag, we had drawn name cards and I had drawn Godo’s with an abstract-y picture of a lady by the side. He asked who was the one who had drawn that and I said me. He then said it was cute!
I AM NOT A BAD ART STUDENT AFTER ALL!
We went to noriyuki next and we passed him the flag first.
“Do you remember the Singapore flag?” Bernie asked him.
“Of course I do!” he said. “懐かしい… (how nostalgic…)”
Next was Jon because he was closer to us. If I had had it my way, I would’ve gone to rui first to give me some more time to calm down and gather my thoughts before seeing Jon because I was seriously FRIGHTENED TO DEATH.
Bernie started saying, “You can do it, Belle!”
Shannon came up to me and asked me how I was doing and I told her I was really nervous. Shannon then also came with Bernie and I to Jon. I stood behind Bernie the whole time because… DAMMIT, I JUST CAN’T LOOK AT HIM.
I pulled the fade cap over my head even more and looked down at the ground. The last thing I saw was Jon turning around to face us before my gaze just went to the floor.
I kept my head down, cap covering my eyes. The only things I could see were the feet of those around me and Jon’s hand, which gave me a good gauge of how close I was to him. I couldn’t bring myself to look up: I was too scared.
My mom stood behind me and Shannon and Bernie were by my side, trying to tug me closer to Jon who stood right in front of me.
“Jon, she’s, like, really shy,” I heard Shannon say.
“Yeah, like really shy!” I thought I heard Bernie echo.
My mom was pushing me forward, too. She stopped when I was only a step away from Jon. I was both scared and happy that I was this close to a person who means so much to me.
“Hey, it’s alright. You were like singing through the whole live; you’re awesome,” Jon said. If the heat I felt on my cheeks was of any indication, my face had to be absolutely red. The kind that isn’t ‘cute’ but actually rather unnatural and perhaps even ugly. Still, a part of me calmed down at those friendly and kind words and I managed to tilt my head up just a bit, enough to look at Jon. How close he was surprised me and I surprised myself even further by not averting my eyes immediately, like I did when I first met him at the TEN tour final in Shinjuku in July.
Jon, as the voice of fade and as a person in general, had inspired me so much. I wish I could tell him everything: how he and fade helped me accomplish my 3-year-long dream of coming in first at my school’s cross country, how I try to always be optimistic because, hey, if he can smile and be cheerful almost all the time, then so could I. Of course, in reality, there were lots of other fans just like me who wanted to speak with him too so I couldn’t say too much.
Bernie prompted me to take a photo, saying, “写真？写真？(Photo? Photo?)”
I just nodded numbly and said, “Okay.” Inside me was a turmoil of ecstasy and anxiety, though, haha.
Jon put his arm around me and went, “You’re shaking!”
At that point of time, I was so giddy that I couldn’t tell if I was or not. Perhaps I was. I am not surprised if I was, to be honest. A week before the live, I had already started becoming worried and anxious about getting to talk to them. Many others on Twitter had talked about their encounters with the fade members and I had wanted to talk to them so badly, too, but I hadn’t known what to say at all.
Bernie had tried to help me by pretending to be Jon and Kansei before. She would say stuff like, “hey, thanks for coming to the show” as them and I would just lose it completely. The only thing I managed to say during this role-play was ‘hi’.
Maybe it was because I couldn’t see Jon’s face when he put his arm around me (plus, the cap was getting into my eyes, again) that I became slightly bolder. At first, I just wrapped one arm around his waist from the back and then I decided to give him a big hug and wrapped my other arm around him as well. The next ten seconds or so were a huge blur to me. My mom and Bernie were saying stuff that I couldn’t make out.
“I don’t want to let go,” I had mumbled, SHAMELESSLY pressing my cheek against his chest.
“You don’t have to let go. You can hold on to me until the photographer gets here. And you have to, like, wrap your arm around my stomach like this for the photo, too,” Jon replied. No problem with that, Jon, no problem at all!
I saw that the photographer was still pretty far away so I figured I had time to tell him about the ~special~ present I had prepared.
The thong.
“Dude, I got you a present but you gotta promise that you’ll take a photo with it on and upload it before I let you know what it is.”
“I gotta know what it is before I promise,” Jon said. Smart man but I was not giving in so easily!
“No, you gotta promise before I show you!” I had insisted.
This conversation was taking place while I was still holding on to him with both arms. I really, really did not want to let go. I did not have the mind or the time to tell him everything I wanted to so I tried to let my hug convey my thoughts and feelings.
I had held on to Jon (tightly, might I add!) for almost 30 seconds by the time the photographer got to us. Two shots were taken. I hope my face wasn’t outstandingly red…
After the photos were taken, I asked him again to promise. A staff member was asking him to move on, so he quickly said, “I promise” and then went on to another fan.
There's something about someone saying "I promise" that makes me swoon and feel special, haha.
I’m also actually quite proud of myself because I managed to meet Jon's gaze after the photos were taken!
It was then I realised that I had not passed Jon’s flag to him yet. The collage and thong were still with me, too.
I didn’t want to bust in on other fans’ time so I approached rui, whom I had yet to give the flag to either. There were other fans with rui but he eventually turned his gaze onto Bernie and I.
“Here, this is for you,” I said, handing him the flag. “We made one for each member so Jon can’t hog them all.”
“Oh - Oh yeah! That guy keeps all the flags,” rui said.
Bernie then passed him his goodie bag and rui went, “Aw, man, with all the goodies you guys give us, I’m gonna grow fat!”
I laughed and looked at his flat sweater-clad stomach. “No, dude, you look fine.”
Afterwards, Bernie decided she wanted to get the members’ signature on her “fadefamily @ livejournal” sign, so I followed her around while she asked the members for their autographs. When she got to Jon, I just stood by the side with his flag, thong and collage in hand. After he had signed Bernie’s sign, I passed him the flag, saying, “this is for you” and then Bernie added that it had his name on it and mentioned again about us having made one for each member so they could have flags to keep, too.
Jon was like, “Yeah! You know the Christmas book you sent us? I was like, ‘somebody else take it!’”
Bernie then asked if he had watched the CD that came with the book and he said he did. I instantly grew very shy again - my voice was on that CD…
Bernie also passed him his goodie bag. And then I proceeded to pass him the collage, telling him it was for the entire band.
“Wow, this is awesome,” he said. It was so good to hear him say that - those materials aren’t cheap and getting everything done hadn’t been easy either but those simple words made me feel that EVERYTHING was worth it.
I think Jon was actually reading the message on the collage right there and then, already. I got nervous again because I thought the message might have been a little… mushy, perhaps? I didn’t want to seem clingy or anything…
Then I asked him again to promise that he would wear his next present. For a while, he protested again, haha, but he eventually said he promised and I took the box out from behind my back and passed it to him.
He looked amused, a little, but his expression also said, “shit.”
Then my mom asked him to read the message on the box.
I had written, “To: Jon. I heard that this is a comfortable brand and I hope it fits! I hope you like the design I drew on it, too! Love, Belle.”
Dude, it had better fit! It was already the largest size!
“Oh, you drew on it, too!” Jon said.
“Yeah, she draw ‘fade’ on it,” my mom said.
I had actually drawn the fade logo on it, but whatever.
“Maybe I’ll wear it when I’m ~happy~ and it’ll be like ‘fade’ all over it,” Jon joked. Pictures or it didn’t happen, Jon.
I then asked for another hug (because I wasn’t satisfied with the sideways hug just now) and Jon said, “of course, Belle.”
I, finally - after months of waiting - got to hear him say my name. Once, during a USTREAM, I had even asked him who his favourite Disney princess was, in hopes that he would say ‘Belle’ (god, I’m pathetic). But instead, he had said, “Jasmine’s pretty cool.”
I got a very nice hug from him. Then he had to move on to other fans.
When Bernie next approached rui to get his autograph on her sign, I followed her.
“It’s good to see you didn’t rush back home,” Bernie said to him.
“Yeah, back to your dogs,” I said. I swiftly added, “It’s okay. I understand; I have three dogs myself.”
-Cutting in to this report to say that I FUCKING MISS MY DOGS. It’s been only ten days but I already miss them so much. This is why I can never go overseas for studies. I’d miss my Max, Kino and Wally too much.-
He laughed and said, “someone’s gotta feed the dogs, man,” while signing.
Everything afterwards is pretty much… hazy. I was still lost in my own world and, after speaking to rui, I just stood around the area, fanning myself with my fade cap because, damn, it was seriously getting hot in there. I had a nice time looking at the members interact with the fans - I hope this sort of interaction doesn’t change with their major debut. I feel that it plays a significant part in what makes ‘fade’!
After five minutes or so, I suddenly remembered that I had just gotten the white fade tote bag and I wanted them to sign it. I went to Godo first and then we stood around awkwardly for a few seconds because we couldn’t find a marker. I went to rui next and then noriyuki. When I asked noriyuki to sign my bag, I got a really good look at his eyes and duuuude, his eyes are stunning!
I went to Jon next. I was soooo proud of myself because I was actually approaching him ON MY OWN without asking anyone to accompany me but my mom tagged along anyway. I asked him if he could sign my bag and mom asked if he could make it out to ‘Belle’.
“You know how to spell my name, right?” I asked, just for the sake of asking.
“B-E-L-L-E, right?”
And yay, our hands touched when he was signing the bag because I was holding it and then he held on to it to sign on it, too.
I went to kansei next and asked him to sign it too. I then asked him for a hug.
“What’s your name?” he asked me after the hug.
“Belle. B-E-L-L-E.”
“B-E-R…?”
“B-E-L-L-E, Belle.”
“Oh, you have a cool name,” he said, smiling. That man has an adorable smile.
I said thanks and then he said that he’ll remember me! We’ll see if that’s true, though I have no idea when I’ll see them again. Funds permitting, maybe I’ll see them in January!
The tote bag the members all signed!
Soon afterwards, there was an announcement made that the acoustic live would be starting, soon. My mom, Bernie and I stood by the side while others sat on the floor.
The acoustic live was beautiful. They performed “Always and Forever” and “Ten” first. Then Jon said there was something special for tonight - rui would be playing guitar.
Jon talked about how he had actually thought of returning to America those many years ago. As fate would have it, rui had then approached him and passed him a demo tape to listen to. The first song on that demo tape was the next song they performed: “face”.
Everything about the acoustic live was amazing. Jon sounded better than he did in the live and there was this old drunk guy shouting out random “I love you”s. The members smiling and the music and the atmosphere… Everything was great!
All of us then took a few group shots.
And then… it was over. The members left.
As I gathered my belongings, I continued replaying my encounters with the members in my head. I didn’t want to forget a single thing. In fact, I don’t think I could anyway.
On the train, Bernie, mom and I talked about how hard fade worked to get to where they are, about how passionate the members must be to have done this for eleven years, now. My mom asked if I would ever be so passionate for something.
I wonder, myself.
Since I was five (so, twelve years now), all I’ve wanted to do is write. But my writing pales in comparison to professional writers' works and I feel that my writing can never match up to theirs. It’s almost like an unattainable dream but, after just seeing fade, I feel that anything is possible…
Well, we’ll see where I go from here…
All in all, it was a fabulous night. I made lots of new friends and I got to talk to Jon and hug him, too. And I passed him the gifts without fainting, so, yeah, job well done to me!
The performance plus all the interaction made the night so memorable. I shall think back on the 28th of December 2012 whenever I need cheering up.
Thanks for reading this!
Bernie met up with my mom and I that afternoon at the Starbucks where we added the finishing touches to the presents for fade. I had a collage, flags and a ~special~ present for Jon. We also had twenty kit-kat bars (ten different flavours) and we packed four for each member to pass to them later.
The flags.
I had written each members' names on each one because I remembered that Jon said he kept all the flags, and I wanted the other members to have a flag to keep, too!
We took photos outside www, ate at ballo ballo (and joked about what I should say to Jon if I got to talk to him) and then I bought the tour t-shirt and the playbuttons (I thought I had placed my order for them online but apparently I hadn’t…). Then we went to take purikura, and time just zoomed past. Very soon, the doors to www were opened.
Before the live started, I was frantically trying to find a good spot to stand at. First floor, but at the back or second floor at the front? Bernie and I wanted to yell some things together, too, so if we were separated, we had to come up with some sort of signal. Eventually, I decided to stand on the second floor, against the railing. Bernie would raise her hand and then signal “one, two, three”.
Bernie had also gotten us some glow sticks which we could wrap around our wrists and neck. My mom didn’t want the ones Bernie had gotten her so I ended up with eight glow sticks on each arm and two around my neck. Bernie said I really “glowed” in the dark, haha.
First, a video, introducing the goods and some announcements, was played. The international fanclub starting in January 2013 and a fade family trip to Hawaii in April!
Soon, the live started.
Kansei came out first, followed by rui, noriyuki, Godo and, finally, Jon.
Jon actually came out half-prancing, half-walking.
I just stared for a few seconds; I couldn’t believe I was really seeing them again.
The setlist is as follows:
1. Born Ready.
2. Wake Up the World.
3. From the Heart.
4. Better Scarred.
5. From the Inside Out.
6. Under the Sun.
7. It was you
8. Filter.
9. In the end.
10. One Reason.
11. Break Away
12. Ever Free.
13. Reimei.
14. So Far Gone.
15. コズミカリズム.
Encore 1:
1. Close to You
2. Ten
3. Beautiful.
Encore 2:
1. Kings of Dawn.
During the breaks between songs, Bernie and I yelled “rui-sama!” (for her friend, Eneru, who wasn’t able to attend), “hentai eskimo!” (Bernie wanted to) and “Jon is sexy!” (haha, I wanted to).
The performance of “It was you” is really, really special to me. It was the first fade song I truly became obsessed with (the next few included Last Man Standing, Chase for Daylight and others). It was the first time I was hearing it live (and damn the lagging in that ustream with Undergraph when they performed this song acoustic) and it was perfect.
I don’t remember when this happened, but it must have been during the first break between songs. Godo was asked to speak but Jon said he couldn’t speak Japanese and that the belt (I believe it was a belt, not a choker necklace but an actual fucking belt) around his neck prevented him from saying anything. Then Godo mumbled gruffly into the mic to prove it, haha.
After “One Reason” came the chugging! Kansei spilled most of the Jack Daniels all over himself and the floor, leaving a small puddle which Jon almost slipped on afterwards.
“Ever Free” got to me really hard this time especially. I’m going through pretty stressful times regarding my future, education and money and, I don’t know, I feel like this song is really helping me to prioritise things.
It was after this that they announced their major debut with Universal Music.
When they came back for the first encore, they were wearing the fade goods and Jon introduced to us a new good: a “fade brand” watch, which costs about 38, 000 yen. You can start ordering them online!
I want it so bad. I have to start saving up even more funds!
When they came back for the second encore, Jon was like, “Sorry, lied a little just now. That wasn’t the last song. But this is really, really, really the last song for tonight. This is everybody’s last chance to sing. The people in front and the people on the second floor have been participating actively but the people at the back… Come on, this is your last chance!”
During Kings of Dawn, Bernie and I waved our Singapore flags.
After the song had ended, kansei took the flag from Bernie and held it up on stage!
We met up with some others and shuffled to ballo ballo which was about a minute’s walk away from www.
I was getting increasingly nervous because Bernie had assured me that we would get to meet the guys and talk to them and I had no idea what to say or what to do. I just love this amazing band so much and there is a lot I wish I could say but I just freeze at the thought of standing right in front them. I can’t look at them in the face either. When I met Jon, kansei and noriyuki at the TEN tour final in Shinjuku, I couldn’t look at them at all. I just kept bowing my head over and over again.
I didn’t want a repeat of that… I wanted to leave a good impression.
Inside ballo ballo, I got rid of my jacket (which I had put on only to protect me from the cold for the walk from www to ballo ballo) and put on my fade hat and got the Singapore flags ready.
Then fade entered the small, cosy venue and I felt so small again, from just being in the same place as them… I just couldn’t face them. I really couldn’t. I couldn’t even look at Jon for more than five seconds before I looked away, fearful that he might actually look back at me. YES, I KNOW I’M PATHETIC.
Soon, the members started mingling with others and Bernie and I got ready to pass the gifts to them. We went to kansei first and passed him the goodie bag. I think Bernie asked kansei if he remembered her and he said, “yes! Bernie!” and Bernie got so happy! Haha, I would have been too, if I was remembered by one of them!
Next was Godo and Bernie mentioned that she had met him at the Gignam Rock Fest and Godo remembered her too! I passed him the flag and Bernie passed him the goodie bag. In the goodie bag, we had drawn name cards and I had drawn Godo’s with an abstract-y picture of a lady by the side. He asked who was the one who had drawn that and I said me. He then said it was cute!
I AM NOT A BAD ART STUDENT AFTER ALL!
We went to noriyuki next and we passed him the flag first.
“Do you remember the Singapore flag?” Bernie asked him.
“Of course I do!” he said. “懐かしい… (how nostalgic…)”
Next was Jon because he was closer to us. If I had had it my way, I would’ve gone to rui first to give me some more time to calm down and gather my thoughts before seeing Jon because I was seriously FRIGHTENED TO DEATH.
Bernie started saying, “You can do it, Belle!”
Shannon came up to me and asked me how I was doing and I told her I was really nervous. Shannon then also came with Bernie and I to Jon. I stood behind Bernie the whole time because… DAMMIT, I JUST CAN’T LOOK AT HIM.
I pulled the fade cap over my head even more and looked down at the ground. The last thing I saw was Jon turning around to face us before my gaze just went to the floor.
I kept my head down, cap covering my eyes. The only things I could see were the feet of those around me and Jon’s hand, which gave me a good gauge of how close I was to him. I couldn’t bring myself to look up: I was too scared.
My mom stood behind me and Shannon and Bernie were by my side, trying to tug me closer to Jon who stood right in front of me.
“Jon, she’s, like, really shy,” I heard Shannon say.
“Yeah, like really shy!” I thought I heard Bernie echo.
My mom was pushing me forward, too. She stopped when I was only a step away from Jon. I was both scared and happy that I was this close to a person who means so much to me.
“Hey, it’s alright. You were like singing through the whole live; you’re awesome,” Jon said. If the heat I felt on my cheeks was of any indication, my face had to be absolutely red. The kind that isn’t ‘cute’ but actually rather unnatural and perhaps even ugly. Still, a part of me calmed down at those friendly and kind words and I managed to tilt my head up just a bit, enough to look at Jon. How close he was surprised me and I surprised myself even further by not averting my eyes immediately, like I did when I first met him at the TEN tour final in Shinjuku in July.
Jon, as the voice of fade and as a person in general, had inspired me so much. I wish I could tell him everything: how he and fade helped me accomplish my 3-year-long dream of coming in first at my school’s cross country, how I try to always be optimistic because, hey, if he can smile and be cheerful almost all the time, then so could I. Of course, in reality, there were lots of other fans just like me who wanted to speak with him too so I couldn’t say too much.
Bernie prompted me to take a photo, saying, “写真？写真？(Photo? Photo?)”
I just nodded numbly and said, “Okay.” Inside me was a turmoil of ecstasy and anxiety, though, haha.
Jon put his arm around me and went, “You’re shaking!”
At that point of time, I was so giddy that I couldn’t tell if I was or not. Perhaps I was. I am not surprised if I was, to be honest. A week before the live, I had already started becoming worried and anxious about getting to talk to them. Many others on Twitter had talked about their encounters with the fade members and I had wanted to talk to them so badly, too, but I hadn’t known what to say at all.
Bernie had tried to help me by pretending to be Jon and Kansei before. She would say stuff like, “hey, thanks for coming to the show” as them and I would just lose it completely. The only thing I managed to say during this role-play was ‘hi’.
Maybe it was because I couldn’t see Jon’s face when he put his arm around me (plus, the cap was getting into my eyes, again) that I became slightly bolder. At first, I just wrapped one arm around his waist from the back and then I decided to give him a big hug and wrapped my other arm around him as well. The next ten seconds or so were a huge blur to me. My mom and Bernie were saying stuff that I couldn’t make out.
“I don’t want to let go,” I had mumbled, SHAMELESSLY pressing my cheek against his chest.
“You don’t have to let go. You can hold on to me until the photographer gets here. And you have to, like, wrap your arm around my stomach like this for the photo, too,” Jon replied. No problem with that, Jon, no problem at all!
I saw that the photographer was still pretty far away so I figured I had time to tell him about the ~special~ present I had prepared.
The thong.
“Dude, I got you a present but you gotta promise that you’ll take a photo with it on and upload it before I let you know what it is.”
“I gotta know what it is before I promise,” Jon said. Smart man but I was not giving in so easily!
“No, you gotta promise before I show you!” I had insisted.
This conversation was taking place while I was still holding on to him with both arms. I really, really did not want to let go. I did not have the mind or the time to tell him everything I wanted to so I tried to let my hug convey my thoughts and feelings.
I had held on to Jon (tightly, might I add!) for almost 30 seconds by the time the photographer got to us. Two shots were taken. I hope my face wasn’t outstandingly red…
After the photos were taken, I asked him again to promise. A staff member was asking him to move on, so he quickly said, “I promise” and then went on to another fan.
There's something about someone saying "I promise" that makes me swoon and feel special, haha.
I’m also actually quite proud of myself because I managed to meet Jon's gaze after the photos were taken!
It was then I realised that I had not passed Jon’s flag to him yet. The collage and thong were still with me, too.
I didn’t want to bust in on other fans’ time so I approached rui, whom I had yet to give the flag to either. There were other fans with rui but he eventually turned his gaze onto Bernie and I.
“Here, this is for you,” I said, handing him the flag. “We made one for each member so Jon can’t hog them all.”
“Oh - Oh yeah! That guy keeps all the flags,” rui said.
Bernie then passed him his goodie bag and rui went, “Aw, man, with all the goodies you guys give us, I’m gonna grow fat!”
I laughed and looked at his flat sweater-clad stomach. “No, dude, you look fine.”
Afterwards, Bernie decided she wanted to get the members’ signature on her “fadefamily @ livejournal” sign, so I followed her around while she asked the members for their autographs. When she got to Jon, I just stood by the side with his flag, thong and collage in hand. After he had signed Bernie’s sign, I passed him the flag, saying, “this is for you” and then Bernie added that it had his name on it and mentioned again about us having made one for each member so they could have flags to keep, too.
Jon was like, “Yeah! You know the Christmas book you sent us? I was like, ‘somebody else take it!’”
Bernie then asked if he had watched the CD that came with the book and he said he did. I instantly grew very shy again - my voice was on that CD…
Bernie also passed him his goodie bag. And then I proceeded to pass him the collage, telling him it was for the entire band.
“Wow, this is awesome,” he said. It was so good to hear him say that - those materials aren’t cheap and getting everything done hadn’t been easy either but those simple words made me feel that EVERYTHING was worth it.
I think Jon was actually reading the message on the collage right there and then, already. I got nervous again because I thought the message might have been a little… mushy, perhaps? I didn’t want to seem clingy or anything…
Then I asked him again to promise that he would wear his next present. For a while, he protested again, haha, but he eventually said he promised and I took the box out from behind my back and passed it to him.
He looked amused, a little, but his expression also said, “shit.”
Then my mom asked him to read the message on the box.
I had written, “To: Jon. I heard that this is a comfortable brand and I hope it fits! I hope you like the design I drew on it, too! Love, Belle.”
Dude, it had better fit! It was already the largest size!
“Oh, you drew on it, too!” Jon said.
“Yeah, she draw ‘fade’ on it,” my mom said.
I had actually drawn the fade logo on it, but whatever.
“Maybe I’ll wear it when I’m ~happy~ and it’ll be like ‘fade’ all over it,” Jon joked. Pictures or it didn’t happen, Jon.
I then asked for another hug (because I wasn’t satisfied with the sideways hug just now) and Jon said, “of course, Belle.”
I, finally - after months of waiting - got to hear him say my name. Once, during a USTREAM, I had even asked him who his favourite Disney princess was, in hopes that he would say ‘Belle’ (god, I’m pathetic). But instead, he had said, “Jasmine’s pretty cool.”
I got a very nice hug from him. Then he had to move on to other fans.
When Bernie next approached rui to get his autograph on her sign, I followed her.
“It’s good to see you didn’t rush back home,” Bernie said to him.
“Yeah, back to your dogs,” I said. I swiftly added, “It’s okay. I understand; I have three dogs myself.”
-Cutting in to this report to say that I FUCKING MISS MY DOGS. It’s been only ten days but I already miss them so much. This is why I can never go overseas for studies. I’d miss my Max, Kino and Wally too much.-
He laughed and said, “someone’s gotta feed the dogs, man,” while signing.
Everything afterwards is pretty much… hazy. I was still lost in my own world and, after speaking to rui, I just stood around the area, fanning myself with my fade cap because, damn, it was seriously getting hot in there. I had a nice time looking at the members interact with the fans - I hope this sort of interaction doesn’t change with their major debut. I feel that it plays a significant part in what makes ‘fade’!
After five minutes or so, I suddenly remembered that I had just gotten the white fade tote bag and I wanted them to sign it. I went to Godo first and then we stood around awkwardly for a few seconds because we couldn’t find a marker. I went to rui next and then noriyuki. When I asked noriyuki to sign my bag, I got a really good look at his eyes and duuuude, his eyes are stunning!
I went to Jon next. I was soooo proud of myself because I was actually approaching him ON MY OWN without asking anyone to accompany me but my mom tagged along anyway. I asked him if he could sign my bag and mom asked if he could make it out to ‘Belle’.
“You know how to spell my name, right?” I asked, just for the sake of asking.
“B-E-L-L-E, right?”
And yay, our hands touched when he was signing the bag because I was holding it and then he held on to it to sign on it, too.
I went to kansei next and asked him to sign it too. I then asked him for a hug.
“What’s your name?” he asked me after the hug.
“Belle. B-E-L-L-E.”
“B-E-R…?”
“B-E-L-L-E, Belle.”
“Oh, you have a cool name,” he said, smiling. That man has an adorable smile.
I said thanks and then he said that he’ll remember me! We’ll see if that’s true, though I have no idea when I’ll see them again. Funds permitting, maybe I’ll see them in January!
The tote bag the members all signed!
Soon afterwards, there was an announcement made that the acoustic live would be starting, soon. My mom, Bernie and I stood by the side while others sat on the floor.
The acoustic live was beautiful. They performed “Always and Forever” and “Ten” first. Then Jon said there was something special for tonight - rui would be playing guitar.
Jon talked about how he had actually thought of returning to America those many years ago. As fate would have it, rui had then approached him and passed him a demo tape to listen to. The first song on that demo tape was the next song they performed: “face”.
Everything about the acoustic live was amazing. Jon sounded better than he did in the live and there was this old drunk guy shouting out random “I love you”s. The members smiling and the music and the atmosphere… Everything was great!
All of us then took a few group shots.
And then… it was over. The members left.
As I gathered my belongings, I continued replaying my encounters with the members in my head. I didn’t want to forget a single thing. In fact, I don’t think I could anyway.
On the train, Bernie, mom and I talked about how hard fade worked to get to where they are, about how passionate the members must be to have done this for eleven years, now. My mom asked if I would ever be so passionate for something.
I wonder, myself.
Since I was five (so, twelve years now), all I’ve wanted to do is write. But my writing pales in comparison to professional writers' works and I feel that my writing can never match up to theirs. It’s almost like an unattainable dream but, after just seeing fade, I feel that anything is possible…
Well, we’ll see where I go from here…
All in all, it was a fabulous night. I made lots of new friends and I got to talk to Jon and hug him, too. And I passed him the gifts without fainting, so, yeah, job well done to me!
The performance plus all the interaction made the night so memorable. I shall think back on the 28th of December 2012 whenever I need cheering up.
Thanks for reading this!