Where did she go?
I blinked at the empty space in my office where only moments ago Lilah had been standing. One moment she was there and the next she was gone. I carefully put done the tea cup and looked everywhere. In the book cases, under the books, under the desk, behind the plants, between the pillows of the sofa. I mean, everywhere. This is Wolfram and Hart, she could be anywhere.
"I-I'm sorry Wes. I can't do this."
What had she meant by that? Can't do what? Why had she left me? Again. Did I do something wrong? I must have, I always do something wrong. She isn't Fred. She never can be, no matter how hard she would like to pretend. I knew that. Fred was gone, vanish. "Poof gone." Maybe...maybe they took Lilah away now too? They seem to have taken everyone away from me. "I don't understand."
Grabbing my book I fall to my knees and hide under the desk. "They won't take me. I won't let them." Narrowing my eyes, I look at the door. My eyes slide over my walls taking in various weapons here. Maybe I should grab one just in case they come in here. Putting down the book carefully, I scoot out from under the desk and run toward one of the swords. Grabbing it I run back and fly under the desk again pulling the book back on my lap. "There, I'm safe now." In this building? I doubt it.
"There is no perfect life for me Illyria. There is no sunset of painting, or finely aged Scotch that's going to sum up my life and made tonight any...there's nothing that I want."
Tilting my head I look back at the door. A lie. Lie to me. Lie-lah. Delilah. It's a lie, there is something that I want. Fred is gone. Lilah seemed real. Was she real? I want her to be real. She's the only one who ever really understood me. Fred never had a chance. FredIllyriaFred...gone. Biting my lip I clutch the book tighter to my chest and grip the sword a little harder. I should go look for her. Maybe she needs my help, maybe...maybe they're hurting her. I want her.
I tried to safe her once but failed. I tried to save Fred but failed. I seem to keep failing the women I love. It's this place. It's evil. I knew this of course, but now? I know it. Blinking I stare at the door again. That didn't even make sense to me. Giggling, I slap my hand over my mouth and look at my sword. I could...run away. Lilah wasn't real, she must've been a delusion. "I want her to be real," I whispered. I should run away.
Crawling out from under desk, I glance back at my shoes in the corner. "No time. Must move fast, swiftly. Be...undetectable. Yes." Holding the book to my chest I caress it lightly. "Don't worry my friend. We'll run and then come back to get your friends." Glancing around the office I take in the mess. When had I become so messy. It's appalling really. "No wonder Lilah went away." I know! I'll go look for her an apologize. Yes, that's what I'll do. For the...mess and for...something else. Yes.
Opening the door, I peer out of it. My eyes dart back and forth, waiting for an opening. Sword in one hand and the book against my chest, I carefully move out of my office, flattening myself against the wall. I close the door behind me and push hard against the wall. Casting my eyes toward the floor I glance at the people running by through my eyelashes. "Like ants to the slaughter," I giggle and then quickly bite my lip again. Musn't make a sound or they'll notice me. "It's lambs?"
Keeping close to the wall I inch away from my office. Someone must know where she went. Angel? Or maybe Gunn, Lorne. Not going to see Illyria, to painful. NotRealNotReal. Someone will know. Sliding around the corner I suck in my breath and make a run for the other side of the lobby.
Someone will know.