Love

[faelights]

I want to believe that love is forever.
I want to believe that when I fall in love, it is love for sure.
I want to believe that I don't make mistakes about my feelings.

But maybe I do.
Maybe I do make mistakes.
...I don't know.

This past little while has been such a struggle. I've
Grappled with the idea, the possibility of
Falling out of love.

Is it possible?
Could I accept it?
Would enough pain justify it as

The best way out?
Today, I felt unworthy.
How could I even think about others when I have you?

I wrestled with my guilt,
Tried to reach behind it,
Find a weak spot,

Bring it down.
Is it any wonder I was preoccupied,
Claiming that I was just sulking?

Why won't you admit to things?
Why can't you see the
Careful--subconscious--way I phrase things

With implications that when
Recognized ensure expert escape
But I suppose could be traps.

In the aftermath,
I can't believe
I've been brought to anger for the second time in half a week.

All I wanted
Was for you to admit
That your unneeded "advice" was triggered by my mood.

What is it about your present
Demeanour, behaviour, action
That rubs me the wrong way?

I wish I could recognize it so that I could
Dismantle the pertinent traps;
Make it safe for you to tread without care.

Because I really want to believe
That love is forever,
And that I never make mistakes about it.