The Helper and the Helped--And Never the Twain Shall Meet

[faerie_spark]

I have occupied two spaces, two places, two halves of the same sphere-I have been both helper and helped

Comments

[kagomeshuko]

Nice entry.

[faerie_spark]

Thanks.

[i_17bingo]

I've always thought it made no sense how people talk down to the disabled, as if one part of them not working means that all of the parts (especially the brain... I guess?) aren't working. But reading this kind of explains it a little--as much as we want to, humans aren't very good at minutiae.

That also explains the debate about social services in the U.S. right now.

[faerie_spark]

No, humans aren't very good at what I can only describe as mental and emotional fine motor skills. Thanks for taking the time to read and engage with this.

[cheshire23]

I like the concept of mental and emotional fine motor skills. Thanks for that.

[catwomon]

I like this piece a great deal. As someone who has been involved in this dual-role situation more than once, it resonates with me much. I really like your writing and hope I get to see a lot more.

[faerie_spark]

Thank you. It occurred to me that what you described in your entry is a prime example of a helper seeing a prospective helper as someone who only belongs to the helped.

[halfshellvenus]

I liked the thoughtfulness of this, and the exploration of the tendency to make a dichotomy between these two roles... that can actually coexist in the same person, even at the same time. Your husband's situation was proof of it-- why can't he be emotionally supportive while physically recovering?

This also nicely questions what we value as 'important' in social contribution. How can reaching things from a high shelf compare to what a loving friendship provides?

[faerie_spark]

Nodding...Society seems to value most of all people who can *do* things in measurable ways. Thanks for reading, engaging, and taking the time to leave feedback.

[jem0000000]

I think it's generally best for help to be reciprocal -- maybe not with the same people all the time, but certainly it's not good to push someone into one role over the other.

[faerie_spark]

I agree that help isn't going to be an equal give and take with all people at all times. There are times when it shouldn't be, such as in a therapist/client situation.

Thanks for reading and taking the time to respond.

[jem0000000]

You're welcome.