A Response on Genderqueer Identities.
This is in response to some stuff that I had read recently. These are all my personal opinions around the identity of genderqueer and I don't want to say that my definition is the only one, and so I hope that this post will create dialogue if others disagree with me.
I was quite astonished recently to see lots of dialogue about the identity of genderqueer popping up in various places in my life. However, it wasn't quite as pleasant as I had hoped when I realised that a lot of the discussion was being done by people that, although they didn't identify within the gender binary, were not in fact genderqueer identified. I just sorta wanted to address the things I have seen said, and my own personal views on why I choose to use the term to describe my own personal identity.
"I am most familiar with it as an umbrella term for anyone who does not identify within the binary, and is particularly useful for people who are in the process of defining how they identify"
Although I can see why this is always the most common sort of response when people are asked to define genderqueer, I want to stress that this most certainly isn't what it is to me or most other people that I know. Genderqueer is very commonly mistakenly used as a term to refer to any/all non-binary identified people, which obviously has very may problems. First of all, it erases the fact that there are very many other identities that exist outside of man/woman, but it also erases the fact that genderqueer is in fact its own gender as well, and therefore doesn't need to be a stand-in identity for everybody else. Furthermore, while I know people that may have used this identity to describe themselves when first coming out as trans or outside the binary/whatever, there are a lot of people that use a lot of terms to describe themselves at various points in their life and then change to some other term. I identified as many things myself before settling on genderqueer. This doesn't make any of those identities less of a valid identity, and it doesn't make it any less valid for me to have identified as those things during that time period. I read a great blog recently that said that if we said that if while our identities are changing we held them as being less valid than our permanent identities, then we wouldn't be able to identify ourselves except as we're dying. Therefore, I would say although many people may identify as genderqueer while "in the process of defining how they identify" that doesn't make that what the genderqueer identity is about.
Other commonly WRONG ways that I have used genderqueer used is by people that want to make a political stance against the gender binary, but otherwise don't actually have an identity that is genderqueerand other people within the radical community who want to seem "cool" by taking on a unique identity that they don't otherwise fit. For a great post about the appropriation of genderqueer identities read questioningtransphobia.wordpress.com/2010/02/27/appropriation-of-genderqueer-identities/ But, I just wanted to stress, that genderqueer is not a political identity any more than any other non-binary identity. Yes, the personal may be political, but I don't identify as genderqueer just to take a stance.
"I've always seen 'genderqueer' as a term used to define non-binary genders and related variants that otherwise haven't been defined or don't have a term or definition of their own. It's like the 'other' option at the bottom of the list "
Personally, although this definition might sound a little bit closer to the truth, I also think that when people talk about genderqueer in this way they are missing the point that it already has a definition (at least to me and many other people) It just isn't an easy definition to figure out because the terms in which to describe it, sadly, don't exist. If that is what this person meant by it not having a definition of it's own I would agree, but I think it's more complicated than that. It doesn't just describe any identity that isn't one of the other non-binary terms commonly used. To me, and at least a few other people that I know, it means that our genders ARE queer, in the sense that they aren't able to be defined in the terms created by our society. Other non-binary genders use these terms as a source of reference for identifying themselves. Androgyne, for instance, would be somebody with a mix of characteristics that would be attributable usually to a man or a woman but who isn't either. Bigender/Multi-gendered are people that feel like they inhabit the genders of man or woman (or another as well) at various different times. Gender-fluid is similar, I think (I'm a bit confused about this one) And neutrois is (unless I'm mistaken) a gender of not having any of these genders. But, to me, genderqueer is a way of defining your gender without having to even reference terms like man/woman, feminine/masculine. Although people might try to define me in those ways saying that I look feminine/masculine at certain points, to me, my gender is queer enough that I know these definitions don't actually fit what I'm trying to achieve. Do you get the difference yet? It's like looking at somebody when they draw a "spectrum of gender" and having them look at you and ask you where you'd fit and you point to another completely different and undrawn on piece of paper. That's why I like genderqueer as an identity.
So, as a closure to this piece, I wanted to say that if you in fact do think that there are "negative connotations" to the term genderqueer, I want to hear what they are, because I've seen a lot of people who aren't genderqueer saying this, but not saying what they actually mean by it, and if you're gonna make a statement like that at least explain yourself/give an example as well. And, if you are one of my awesome genderqueer identified friends, I wanted to ask, what does genderqueer mean for you? :)
I was quite astonished recently to see lots of dialogue about the identity of genderqueer popping up in various places in my life. However, it wasn't quite as pleasant as I had hoped when I realised that a lot of the discussion was being done by people that, although they didn't identify within the gender binary, were not in fact genderqueer identified. I just sorta wanted to address the things I have seen said, and my own personal views on why I choose to use the term to describe my own personal identity.
"I am most familiar with it as an umbrella term for anyone who does not identify within the binary, and is particularly useful for people who are in the process of defining how they identify"
Although I can see why this is always the most common sort of response when people are asked to define genderqueer, I want to stress that this most certainly isn't what it is to me or most other people that I know. Genderqueer is very commonly mistakenly used as a term to refer to any/all non-binary identified people, which obviously has very may problems. First of all, it erases the fact that there are very many other identities that exist outside of man/woman, but it also erases the fact that genderqueer is in fact its own gender as well, and therefore doesn't need to be a stand-in identity for everybody else. Furthermore, while I know people that may have used this identity to describe themselves when first coming out as trans or outside the binary/whatever, there are a lot of people that use a lot of terms to describe themselves at various points in their life and then change to some other term. I identified as many things myself before settling on genderqueer. This doesn't make any of those identities less of a valid identity, and it doesn't make it any less valid for me to have identified as those things during that time period. I read a great blog recently that said that if we said that if while our identities are changing we held them as being less valid than our permanent identities, then we wouldn't be able to identify ourselves except as we're dying. Therefore, I would say although many people may identify as genderqueer while "in the process of defining how they identify" that doesn't make that what the genderqueer identity is about.
Other commonly WRONG ways that I have used genderqueer used is by people that want to make a political stance against the gender binary, but otherwise don't actually have an identity that is genderqueerand other people within the radical community who want to seem "cool" by taking on a unique identity that they don't otherwise fit. For a great post about the appropriation of genderqueer identities read questioningtransphobia.wordpress.com/2010/02/27/appropriation-of-genderqueer-identities/ But, I just wanted to stress, that genderqueer is not a political identity any more than any other non-binary identity. Yes, the personal may be political, but I don't identify as genderqueer just to take a stance.
"I've always seen 'genderqueer' as a term used to define non-binary genders and related variants that otherwise haven't been defined or don't have a term or definition of their own. It's like the 'other' option at the bottom of the list "
Personally, although this definition might sound a little bit closer to the truth, I also think that when people talk about genderqueer in this way they are missing the point that it already has a definition (at least to me and many other people) It just isn't an easy definition to figure out because the terms in which to describe it, sadly, don't exist. If that is what this person meant by it not having a definition of it's own I would agree, but I think it's more complicated than that. It doesn't just describe any identity that isn't one of the other non-binary terms commonly used. To me, and at least a few other people that I know, it means that our genders ARE queer, in the sense that they aren't able to be defined in the terms created by our society. Other non-binary genders use these terms as a source of reference for identifying themselves. Androgyne, for instance, would be somebody with a mix of characteristics that would be attributable usually to a man or a woman but who isn't either. Bigender/Multi-gendered are people that feel like they inhabit the genders of man or woman (or another as well) at various different times. Gender-fluid is similar, I think (I'm a bit confused about this one) And neutrois is (unless I'm mistaken) a gender of not having any of these genders. But, to me, genderqueer is a way of defining your gender without having to even reference terms like man/woman, feminine/masculine. Although people might try to define me in those ways saying that I look feminine/masculine at certain points, to me, my gender is queer enough that I know these definitions don't actually fit what I'm trying to achieve. Do you get the difference yet? It's like looking at somebody when they draw a "spectrum of gender" and having them look at you and ask you where you'd fit and you point to another completely different and undrawn on piece of paper. That's why I like genderqueer as an identity.
So, as a closure to this piece, I wanted to say that if you in fact do think that there are "negative connotations" to the term genderqueer, I want to hear what they are, because I've seen a lot of people who aren't genderqueer saying this, but not saying what they actually mean by it, and if you're gonna make a statement like that at least explain yourself/give an example as well. And, if you are one of my awesome genderqueer identified friends, I wanted to ask, what does genderqueer mean for you? :)